so this is the new year.
our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
it is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
your playing small does not serve the world.
there is nothing enlightened about
shrinking so that other people wont feel insecure around you.
we were all meant to shine as children do.
its not just in some of us, its in everyone.
and as we let our own light shine
we unconciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are all liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.
a small insight and recap on my last 2 weeks. yeah.
xmas party.
........................
ice.
21st b.day
glam
nye.
i plan on giving you PLENTY more new years eve pics when i get them.
along with those tons of polaroids. road trips with justin.
and probably some of the most hilarious videos you will have ever set your eyes on.
i love leslie for it.
to recep:
my 21st birthday was by far, without a doubt the best birthday i have evver had in my life. everything was perfect.
laurence & i could not have been any happier. we had like 400 people show up. the drinks were flowing alllllll night well after midnight. and justin got me the most fucking best present ever. a flask. the one thing i have been mentioning since we started dating that i wanted. and he has engraved into it "holding hands between barstools." for those of you that dontk now, that is a good life lyric. fkdjghkdfgh seriously. i love it so much. and its one of the best gifts ive ever gotten. and youre jealous he isnt your boyfriend. along with that, i got LOTS and LOTS of booze. booze everywhere. on the floor, in my mouth, on my clothes. on her clothes. on his clothes. on stage. thrown in the air. bottles poppin everywhere. SANTA CLAUSE! the biggest dance party of all the time. man, it was just the best thing ever. and i am so happy. and my bad birthday curse is OVERRRR. i can feel 21 is going to be my best year yet. i feel good right now. SO good. its an amazing feeling. i am so happy.
christmas didnt feel like christmas at all. but it doesnt matter bc justin got me a suede bound book to keep all my writing in. its so pretty and perfect. and i cant wait until it gets all torn up and worn in and it goes everywhere with me. im going to document all of brazil with it. he got me lots of stuff this year. it was great. another bukowski one i havent read. that was thoughtful. rar, i love justin. its so nice.
this was one of the best christmas breaks ive ever had. everyday was so fun. everday. drinks. and fun. and play. and him. and gah. it was so nice. getting dressed up all the time. going to the bars in PB with laurence. justin & i moving into a competely new phase of our relationship. a phase where everything is so right. no more bickering. definately no fighting. no lies. JUST LOVE.
i definately am changing. i can see it in my apperance. i can feel it in the way i walk. nothing bothers me anymore. nothing matters anymore. im just living. day by day.one step at a time. making long term plans is nice, but just being in it is so much better. in a month and a half i will have graduated from the culinary academy ready to take on my career. and i will be living in brazil. being so content it wont feel real. and for once. im confident, i have someone/something to come home to.
in 2006. i have no plans. i have no resolutions. i only want to make it to 2007, soaring. floating on a cloud. ive let the little things go. ive closed some doors. and plenty of windows have opened in return. i truly believe, this is my year. this is our year. ive put finding a best friend in the past. bc i have a best friend already. his name is justin. and hes everything id ever want in a friend. i put two boys in my past. and i swear, this time i know its for good. ive never not cared so much in my life. its a relief.
to everyone that was at my new years party. i am happy to have started this year with you. i think that was a damn good way to bring in the new year. and i dont think that many people have ever been in my living room at one time. there had to have been at least 150 or possibly more of you. totally worth all the cleaning.
well. christmas break is over. and school is back tomoro. 2006 is here. and it feels like the one.
or maybe its just the weather.
we were all meant to shine. as children do.
♥
im going to drink. im going to laugh until the morning comes. that is what i am going to do.
our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
it is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
your playing small does not serve the world.
there is nothing enlightened about
shrinking so that other people wont feel insecure around you.
we were all meant to shine as children do.
its not just in some of us, its in everyone.
and as we let our own light shine
we unconciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are all liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.
a small insight and recap on my last 2 weeks. yeah.
xmas party.
........................
ice.
21st b.day
glam
nye.
i plan on giving you PLENTY more new years eve pics when i get them.
along with those tons of polaroids. road trips with justin.
and probably some of the most hilarious videos you will have ever set your eyes on.
i love leslie for it.
to recep:
my 21st birthday was by far, without a doubt the best birthday i have evver had in my life. everything was perfect.
laurence & i could not have been any happier. we had like 400 people show up. the drinks were flowing alllllll night well after midnight. and justin got me the most fucking best present ever. a flask. the one thing i have been mentioning since we started dating that i wanted. and he has engraved into it "holding hands between barstools." for those of you that dontk now, that is a good life lyric. fkdjghkdfgh seriously. i love it so much. and its one of the best gifts ive ever gotten. and youre jealous he isnt your boyfriend. along with that, i got LOTS and LOTS of booze. booze everywhere. on the floor, in my mouth, on my clothes. on her clothes. on his clothes. on stage. thrown in the air. bottles poppin everywhere. SANTA CLAUSE! the biggest dance party of all the time. man, it was just the best thing ever. and i am so happy. and my bad birthday curse is OVERRRR. i can feel 21 is going to be my best year yet. i feel good right now. SO good. its an amazing feeling. i am so happy.
christmas didnt feel like christmas at all. but it doesnt matter bc justin got me a suede bound book to keep all my writing in. its so pretty and perfect. and i cant wait until it gets all torn up and worn in and it goes everywhere with me. im going to document all of brazil with it. he got me lots of stuff this year. it was great. another bukowski one i havent read. that was thoughtful. rar, i love justin. its so nice.
this was one of the best christmas breaks ive ever had. everyday was so fun. everday. drinks. and fun. and play. and him. and gah. it was so nice. getting dressed up all the time. going to the bars in PB with laurence. justin & i moving into a competely new phase of our relationship. a phase where everything is so right. no more bickering. definately no fighting. no lies. JUST LOVE.
i definately am changing. i can see it in my apperance. i can feel it in the way i walk. nothing bothers me anymore. nothing matters anymore. im just living. day by day.one step at a time. making long term plans is nice, but just being in it is so much better. in a month and a half i will have graduated from the culinary academy ready to take on my career. and i will be living in brazil. being so content it wont feel real. and for once. im confident, i have someone/something to come home to.
in 2006. i have no plans. i have no resolutions. i only want to make it to 2007, soaring. floating on a cloud. ive let the little things go. ive closed some doors. and plenty of windows have opened in return. i truly believe, this is my year. this is our year. ive put finding a best friend in the past. bc i have a best friend already. his name is justin. and hes everything id ever want in a friend. i put two boys in my past. and i swear, this time i know its for good. ive never not cared so much in my life. its a relief.
to everyone that was at my new years party. i am happy to have started this year with you. i think that was a damn good way to bring in the new year. and i dont think that many people have ever been in my living room at one time. there had to have been at least 150 or possibly more of you. totally worth all the cleaning.
well. christmas break is over. and school is back tomoro. 2006 is here. and it feels like the one.
or maybe its just the weather.
we were all meant to shine. as children do.
♥
im going to drink. im going to laugh until the morning comes. that is what i am going to do.