boring morning update....
since the last update, things have gotten way better. i look back at it now and cant believe how disgustingly dramatic i can get. lol though things have been better since then, the one thing that remains true and just as painful is the fact that my seniors are leaving me...yikes...what am i going to do w/out them?...i freaking love them all and dont know how to deal with this. i also dont want to deal with this and just kinda pretend all this isnt actually happening. ugh, why do i feel so stupid right now? lol as i sit here in the library alone, when i normally would be sitting w/ berna, i tried to use my negative energy for something creative, like a song or something. but too much shit is goin on in my head that i cant really concentrate lol so what better thing to do than share my life w/ the world! :) oy, i dunno what to do, think, say...what i'm going to do, think, say when i no longer have some of the best ppl i've ever met. i'm a little scared of next year, not having these ppl in my everyday life...not knowing what i'm going to be like, if i'm going to change, if so how drastically?...and then there you are. just about everything reminds me of you. the whole point of this week is for me to forget about you and all that crap, to stop being dumb and thinking things are going to happen, when they arent...i wish i could just sleep through all of this cuz lord know's i dont sleep enough :)