(no subject)
Title: You Can't Be Missed If You Never Go Away [5/?]
Author:
sinfulxtragedy
Rating: PG/PG-13 at most
Pairing: Rydon with a few others. past!Brendon/Shane
POV: Third Ryan-centric.
Summary: After not seeing the love of his life for four years Ryan gets a surprise visit from Brendon.
Disclaimer: This is real, and I'm married to Brendon Urie. Yeah, I wish, this is fake.
Author Notes: At the end as always.
Beta:
handsom3lady for this chapter it was
miyavis_gazette
[1] [2][3] [4]
thanks to pleurantnoir for the awesome banner.
Brendon looked up surprised by the sudden change in Ryan’s voice, in all his years of knowing the other boy he had never heard Ryan’s voice be so fragile and vulnerable, nothing he said would be good enough when Ryan was like this. Nonetheless it was worth a shot so Brendon opened his big mouth, “You know my parents, they were trying so hard to get me to apply to colleges, just so that I’d get the degree they didn’t care what I study. Music paid off with NYU where I was for the past four years. I’ve been at school, getting a music degree that I will never use without the people I love and care. You know that I can’t write anything without people like you in my life. I need you, Ry, really do. But you should have read the note, this would have been different. I know it would have been. It gives you every way to know where I am, how to get to me. If you weren’t so damn stubborn I wouldn’t have thought that you didn’t care enough to even call or come to visit. I gave up on phone after the first few months. After you didn’t visit at all during any of the breaks I gave up. I met Shane-”
“You met who?” Ryan asked the emotion back in his voice.
“Shane, he was my roommate at NYU, we got drunk one night, about a year ago. The next morning we woke up with killer headaches and naked in bed next to each other; stupid one nightstand.” Brendon explained. He left out the fact that he also woke up with a sore ass, but that really wasn’t something that he’d share with Ryan. Inside he was praying to God that Ryan won’t be too pissed off at him for something that he did while he was drunk.
What Ryan did shocked them both. Ryan laughed, he laughed hysterically, and his eyes were watering from laughing too hard. Ryan laughed because there were no tears left in him. He had spent the last four years denying every one nightstand, every kiss, everything that came his way. Whenever he was dragged into bars or clubs there were men and women lining up to get to Ryan. They got him drinks, they hit on him, they asked him out; the works, really. Ryan turned down each of them, but his excuses were no longer valid. He had no boyfriend who loved him. His boyfriend, who has promised never to leave him, had slept with his roommate. Just perfect, fan-fucking-tastic!
When that realization hit him Ryan’s laughter turned into choking sobs. Four years he kept telling himself that Brendon still loved him, but that was ripped away from him. Now Ryan had nothing, he was alone. His sobs were broken; almost choking the thin male and making his body shake violently.
Brendon who was looking very lost and frightened by the sudden mood swing. He was used to Ryan being able to control his feelings better than anyone he knew, it was Ryan’s own way to deal with things; let them bottle up inside and then write. He would write about everything that he was feeling.
“W-why are y-you sti-still here? You’ve d-done enough to last a li-lifetime!” Ryan choked, yelled, pleaded, exclaimed.
The sharp brokenness in the boy’s voice was almost intimidating. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that the Brendon was scared and slightly worried about Ryan. The emotion was too much for him, it was too raw and too open. These feelings were read about by Brendon but he never got to see the older man break down this way. It was different, unsettling; it was… real.
“I’m here because I love you, you idiot,” he answered; it may have sounded that Brendon was being cocky or mocking, but he wasn’t, he held a sincere note to it. Only Ryan would be able to pick it out because he knew Brendon so well.
“Bullshit.”
A single tear rolled down Brendon’s cheek because he knew that he'd royally screwed up this time. There was no Ryan who was going to envelope him in a huge hug when he showed up at home. No one was waiting for him here except for his parents.
“Get out of here, Brendon, you’ve cau-caused too much p-pain. You took it to NYU or whe-wherever the hell you w-went, and y-you crushed-d the re-remains just now. You’re done.” Ryan’s voice spoke to him, and it was a lot quieter than it should have been, much too calm.
Ryan has been scolding himself for the break down, for the time of weakness, for giving Brendon the satisfaction of seeing him broken. No, there will be no more emotions or reactions. He can’t afford it.
Brendon nodded his head, it was a lot harder than he remembered it to be, but if Ryan wanted him gone, he would do that. It’s the least he could do.
“Fine, I’ll leave. I’ll be at the coffee shop for maybe a half an hour after that I’ll go to the only place I can think when I’m here. You know the place; if you need me then you can find me there.”
With a heavy heart he turned away from the man he loved and walked out of the clearing. As soon as Brendon was gone and Ryan felt that he was alone, he stood up and started running to his tiny one bedroom apartment. He noticed that it took him less time to run the distance than usual, which was a relief. Once he got home the first thing he did after slamming the door shut was grab his cell phone and dial Spencer's number.
Three rings later he got a muffled “Hello?”
“He’s back, Spence, Brendon’s back. I saw him.” Ryan said a new wave of sobs crushing his body. Damn the inability to keep calm when it comes to that cheating asshole.
“He can’t be back, after all he’s done to you he can’t possibly be stupid enough to come back-“
“He’s back, Spin. I talked to him. Cried, passed out, the works.”
After that Ryan launched into the whole tale about Brendon showing up at the coffee shop, Ryan fainting, them talking in the clearing, Brendon telling Ryan about Shane, Ryan telling Brendon to get away. Everything. By the end of the whole thing Spencer was ready to kill Brendon for causing even more pain on his already fragile best friend. Near the end Ryan started to cry again, only it was much softer now, more pitiful than before.
“Where is he, Ryan?” Spencer growled
“Um, coffee shop; then he said he’s going to our spot. You know the place where you used to find me after a bad night. That’s all I know, but I don’t know what to do Spence, he wanted to talk, told me to find him there. I can’t do that, it’s too much; I’m not ready to relive that part of my life.”
“You know, Ry, I have to go. I promise I’ll call you in about an hour. Please don’t do anything stupid. I’ll get Jon to go over there. How does that sound?” Spencer asked; he was trying hard not to sound too angry so that it wouldn’t set Ryan off again. The poor guy already had a hard day, no need to worry him.
Ryan nodded before he remembered that Spencer couldn’t see him and mumbled a quick “please.” Spencer said that he’d talk to Ryan soon and hung up. Jon showed up about fifteen minutes later pulling Ryan in for a hug. They spent a few hours talking and remembering when things were good and not as screwed up. An hour later Spencer joined them and the three friends had a movie night where they pigged out on junk food and watched way too many movies.
A/N: Hey everyone! I am infact not dead. So I am very sorry for the delay of this chapter. I got in trouble for a week and then my laptop dies on me. So it took waay longer than I thought. But it's up!
So you've got Spencer and Jon here, and lots of Spin in the next chapter. Which should be posted soon. Cause I did start it already. Updates will be slower starting on the second of September, cause it's school time. But I will write and post.
What else? Oh! I have a s/a that will be out soon called "Ye of too Much Faith" and the companion "Ye of Little Faith" as well as a smutty s/a (for which I want to know all your kinks!) Feel free to drop by my journal and request a fic. It's the third post from the top.
Do any of my readers live in Seattle and are going to the Bill and Trav's Bogus Journey Tour? Cause we can meet up there. =]
I think that's it really. So read, comment, and enjoy!