(no subject)
ever since saturday nite i havent been myself...all i want to do is lie down and not get up...ive learned alot from goin to maria...one thing...not to trust anyone...or tell anyone too much about your life....and not to let someone come between two friends EVER...im finally starting to talk to someone who i havent spoken to in a year and 4 months...i wish i wouldve listened to my friends but i cant take back my past anymore...i gotta move fowards...i dont know how much more of this pain and stress i can take from everyone...my mother is always yellin at me for something...and lately i never want to come home and if i do i dont want anyone to bother me...and then i got the fuccin DRAMA...everyone i talk to says that i deal with too much drama...maybe thats why not really talking to certain people takes away some of the drama in my life...
wut hurts the most though is losing a friend of 7 years over something that isnt extremely big...but it still sucks...weve been through so much together..shared so many memories..i dont want to lose her...i cant...i dont know whether or not i should talk to her though..im afraid of whats going to happen..if anything the last thing i want to do is to make things worse...maybe thats why i havent been myself lately...when you lose a person who means so much to you in your life, you dont want to hangout with anyone, you dont want to go anywhere, and youre constantly depressed...ive tried to go out and have a good time twice with my guy friends..but even then i wasnt myself...and i met them a few weeks ago and they already knew that something is wrong with me..
i honestly dont know what to do anymore or how to solve all of my situations...i know of one way i can, but thats not the best way cause somethings always there to remind me of what ive done.ive lost myself...i was fine for a month and happy..but now im bak to not being happy anymore..and not wanting to do anything...what do i do?