yo.
so im sitting here at Bill's with this motherfucker behind me once again.. i told myself i would go to sleep pretty early.. to sort of adjust to my work schedule.. but here i am with this bitchy bitch waiting for his godamn phone to charge. yes.. annoying.. and the worst part about it, is that Taco Bell is NOT open. no crunchwrap. practice is a go tomorrow. god times. yes god indeed. fucker.. im pretty tired but i have to drive soon.. and i dont feel like sleeping. im getting up at 8 AM tomorrow so this should be fun.
so today.. i went out with my mom, shared some great conversation.. she ended up spending lots of money on me which was the last thing i wanted to happen. but something told me she would. she likes to know that im fine, and she likes to be the one who keeps me that way. My love went with me, and we went shopping for some office clothes and got my tags replaced. oh, i got lots of lame attire.. but i love it all the same because everytime i wear those clothes i'll be making money. i truly am a drifter, i havent been home in weeks and im wearing the same pants i wore at the show, pretty sick.. but i keep myself clean, and i dont really wear clothes around the only one who it really would matter to anyway. so it's a win/win (and no we're not having sex). im wearing Dahmer's shirt too. he's the best.
to move on with the day. Ivy came by, i never really realized how much i missed him till i saw him again.. i cant wait to see Hazel. it's very weird going from extensive obligation to sporadic coincidence. i didnt mean to be so distant from the band this week because i love hanging out with all of them.. i have just had a lot of shit going on. friendship is what makes us, and if we didnt have that then there would really be no band. Went to The Warehouse to check up on some shit, Joe wasnt there once again...so i was stuck talking to the same careless employee(s) about the same damn shit. Though, Bre did get to see it and we got to drive in the storm which made the trip worthwhile.
something interesting happened later in the night.. Bre received a call from Joey for chit-chat and the "small talk" which makes me skeptical, but whatever.
i got to spend the night with permission at Bre's yesterday.. and i couldnt sleep, i was still awake by the time her mom got up for work.. so was Bre. cutie. i was very happy that her mom let me do that, very cool on her part. However, im really getting sick of the way she treats idea of Polaris.. i know exactly where Bre is coming from, her mom doesnt. And as much as she thinks she does, it's not the same and it always goes back to where it fucking started. i dont want her going to dayschool. i know the difference I can make the comparisons, ive been on both sides of the fence. No one in day-school gives a shit nor does a damn thing to stop what could have been prevented, whether it be a fight, whether it be some cunt who couldnt keep her legs closed, or some motherfucker who thinks he's hot shit because he knows where his dad keeps his gun. Nope, not until someone takes it "too far" and comes to school and blows it away. Then its all about uniting, coming together to stop the violence. But as soon as its safe and someone stirs the shit again, it all starts itself over.. Everyone's to blame. I'm to blame, youre to blame.. because no one will change a damn thing.. we just runaway and look to the future with no second thought of maybe there not being one to look forward to, because we dont stand up, because we dont help. We dont want to get too personal.. we cant help what doesnt apply to us.. because we cant care. Though, im trying my best and what im doing is selfish, but it's all i really care about, and maybe that makes me a hypocrite.. but im a hypocrite who has found an escape who has helped all he has wanted. But it doesnt matter how much we talk, it wont make a difference everyone knows this..We could go in with a squirt gun of our own blood from our wounds and only grab the attention of a fourth of the crowd. They have to change themselves, they have to see for themselves, they have to be the one's pulling the trigger of the squirt gun. They have to be the one's wounded, and they have to be the one's continuing the cycle of screaming to a deaf audience. public education has hit its peak of corruption, where people can get away with shooting up their school by taking their own lives in the process.
This is not somewhere i would want my fiancee` to be. And i will do everything i possibly can to stop her from going.
~Daisy
so today.. i went out with my mom, shared some great conversation.. she ended up spending lots of money on me which was the last thing i wanted to happen. but something told me she would. she likes to know that im fine, and she likes to be the one who keeps me that way. My love went with me, and we went shopping for some office clothes and got my tags replaced. oh, i got lots of lame attire.. but i love it all the same because everytime i wear those clothes i'll be making money. i truly am a drifter, i havent been home in weeks and im wearing the same pants i wore at the show, pretty sick.. but i keep myself clean, and i dont really wear clothes around the only one who it really would matter to anyway. so it's a win/win (and no we're not having sex). im wearing Dahmer's shirt too. he's the best.
to move on with the day. Ivy came by, i never really realized how much i missed him till i saw him again.. i cant wait to see Hazel. it's very weird going from extensive obligation to sporadic coincidence. i didnt mean to be so distant from the band this week because i love hanging out with all of them.. i have just had a lot of shit going on. friendship is what makes us, and if we didnt have that then there would really be no band. Went to The Warehouse to check up on some shit, Joe wasnt there once again...so i was stuck talking to the same careless employee(s) about the same damn shit. Though, Bre did get to see it and we got to drive in the storm which made the trip worthwhile.
something interesting happened later in the night.. Bre received a call from Joey for chit-chat and the "small talk" which makes me skeptical, but whatever.
i got to spend the night with permission at Bre's yesterday.. and i couldnt sleep, i was still awake by the time her mom got up for work.. so was Bre. cutie. i was very happy that her mom let me do that, very cool on her part. However, im really getting sick of the way she treats idea of Polaris.. i know exactly where Bre is coming from, her mom doesnt. And as much as she thinks she does, it's not the same and it always goes back to where it fucking started. i dont want her going to dayschool. i know the difference I can make the comparisons, ive been on both sides of the fence. No one in day-school gives a shit nor does a damn thing to stop what could have been prevented, whether it be a fight, whether it be some cunt who couldnt keep her legs closed, or some motherfucker who thinks he's hot shit because he knows where his dad keeps his gun. Nope, not until someone takes it "too far" and comes to school and blows it away. Then its all about uniting, coming together to stop the violence. But as soon as its safe and someone stirs the shit again, it all starts itself over.. Everyone's to blame. I'm to blame, youre to blame.. because no one will change a damn thing.. we just runaway and look to the future with no second thought of maybe there not being one to look forward to, because we dont stand up, because we dont help. We dont want to get too personal.. we cant help what doesnt apply to us.. because we cant care. Though, im trying my best and what im doing is selfish, but it's all i really care about, and maybe that makes me a hypocrite.. but im a hypocrite who has found an escape who has helped all he has wanted. But it doesnt matter how much we talk, it wont make a difference everyone knows this..We could go in with a squirt gun of our own blood from our wounds and only grab the attention of a fourth of the crowd. They have to change themselves, they have to see for themselves, they have to be the one's pulling the trigger of the squirt gun. They have to be the one's wounded, and they have to be the one's continuing the cycle of screaming to a deaf audience. public education has hit its peak of corruption, where people can get away with shooting up their school by taking their own lives in the process.
This is not somewhere i would want my fiancee` to be. And i will do everything i possibly can to stop her from going.
~Daisy