(no subject)
...
I remember when I didn't talk to anyone.
I didn't connect. I didn't share. I didn't bother.
I didn't care about anyone. It was easier then.
I remember when I cared about everyone.
Too much. Where I lost myself.
Didn't know who I was.
I am now..apparently..
enormously selfish, disinterested, self-centered..
and fake.
...I care about myself, now.
Because I am hurt by the silence and I am hurt by the selflessness.
To rely on myself and to share myself with others..
is how I show I care.
So you need not worry about me..
and instead..just hear about it.
The very things people have said they adore about me..
are the very thing they hate the most.
This kind of surprises me..since everyone loved..just loved
to put their fake smiles on and tell me they aren't bothered by me.
Even though..
they are.
But I'm the bad person.
I know how to solve all of this.
I won't be a burden on any of you anymore.
I won't talk about myself
and I won't ask about you.
I won't bother you with my life.
And you won't have to think of me again,
unless you want to.
I'm sorry.
I really am.
This isn't some dramatic monologue...I'm simply folding my cards..
and backing out quietly.
I'm already down.
Just let me know what to do..
And I'll do it.
But, please..just remember:
I'm already on the ground..
you don't need to kick me.