First Installment
Here are the answers to those of you who posed such pressing questions!
From Angellee:
What is that rash you gave me?
Well, though at the onset of symptoms it can be mistaken for a run-of-the-mill case of herpes, after closer observation I've deduced it's caused by the stress of having far too much time on our hands and not enough activities to occupy said time. It should clear up in roughly 2 weeks given we're administered the correct dosage of OTIS.
Why does it burn?
You've obviously been using soap and showering far too frequently for an art student.
Why does it itch?
See above.
From Michelle:
Donde esta mi pollo?
Bitch, if I had your chicken I would certainly not be holding it hostage. My suggestion would be to ask either Chewy, Son or Celina.
How can I be more like Ben?
Well, I suggest you buy yourself a pack of black Hanes wife-beaters, take up smoking and stop pre-screening your comments and simply say what first comes to mind. Also, you could try poking either my posterior or bosom with more frequency, then pretend not to know anything of the matter once I turn around.
Oh and will you buy me a churro?
If I have any money left over from purchasing new acrylics for Auckland's class I will undoubtedly buy you a churro.
From John:
What do you want for your life?
I want what every girl wants, a unicorn and a tanned, muscular, well-endowed man servant. Honestly, above all I'd like to live happy with myself and my achievements. I'd love to wake up every morning thankful to be alive, loving what I do, and surrounded by those I love.
What do you want from me?
You mean aside from passionate, unbridled sex? Well, I would certainly love for us to continue being friends like we have been for the past 5 years and to paint a portrait of your devastatingly handsome self somewhere in the near future.
Where do you see yourself in 2 years?
Finishing OTIS, holding down a job in my field, and contemplating Graduate Studies in either English or Art History.
From Joe (ere_evil_befell):
Did you get lucky on New Years?
The score still stands at Sex: 0 Virginity: 22
What is your favorite movie quote?
"After my divorce from Luther I scraped by with baby-sitting gigs and odd jobs - mostly the jobs we call blow." -Hedwig and the Angry Inch
Better author...Capote or Salinger?
I'm partial to Salinger, personally. Hooray for reclusion, and unwillingness to grant movie rights!
From Lincoln:
Why are you still a Catholic when you are obviously such an intelligent skeptic?
Because Jesus is my baby daddy. No, really, my kid's dad is really named Jesus. He's a busboy at Super Tacos Michoacan.
Just kidding...
Ok, now that I've appalled all of you with my insensitivity towards other cultures and rampant blasphemy, I'm Catholic because I have no real problem with the religion, or with organized religion in general. I'm all about simplifying my life and it honestly takes a lot of the thinking out of the equation.
What is your middle name, is it some hot Latin middle name?
Yes, it's Maria Guadalupe Veracruz Gonzalez. Lincoln, you should definitely know better than to ask a Hispanic girl this. In all honesty, I lack a middle name.
What's your .?
Wait, let me see if I got this straight...what's my period? Well, if you really want to know, around the 28th day of a woman's menstrual cycle, the uterus begins to shed its lining...
From Jason:
Why do you keep joking about tumors?
I'm a terrible hypochondriac.
Why do you like being attacked by guys?
The question is, why is it that you feel compelled to sock me in the mouth and make me look like Andrew WK?
Why does your dad look like Ed McMahon?
I still don't see it, but if you say so. Regardless, I'm not quite sure.
From Jeff:
How much do you love pirates?
Almost as much as I love robber-barons and diminutive French leaders which is obviously a lot.
What's your favorite thing to do on a date?
Naked fondue. I'll be the Roquefort, you be the Gruyere! Actually, I like to be impressed. I like knowing that whoever's taking me out actually went through the trouble to plan something special, consequently I don't tend to date a lot.
If you could change one thing about you, what would it be?
My self-defeatist disposition.
From Angellee:
What is that rash you gave me?
Well, though at the onset of symptoms it can be mistaken for a run-of-the-mill case of herpes, after closer observation I've deduced it's caused by the stress of having far too much time on our hands and not enough activities to occupy said time. It should clear up in roughly 2 weeks given we're administered the correct dosage of OTIS.
Why does it burn?
You've obviously been using soap and showering far too frequently for an art student.
Why does it itch?
See above.
From Michelle:
Donde esta mi pollo?
Bitch, if I had your chicken I would certainly not be holding it hostage. My suggestion would be to ask either Chewy, Son or Celina.
How can I be more like Ben?
Well, I suggest you buy yourself a pack of black Hanes wife-beaters, take up smoking and stop pre-screening your comments and simply say what first comes to mind. Also, you could try poking either my posterior or bosom with more frequency, then pretend not to know anything of the matter once I turn around.
Oh and will you buy me a churro?
If I have any money left over from purchasing new acrylics for Auckland's class I will undoubtedly buy you a churro.
From John:
What do you want for your life?
I want what every girl wants, a unicorn and a tanned, muscular, well-endowed man servant. Honestly, above all I'd like to live happy with myself and my achievements. I'd love to wake up every morning thankful to be alive, loving what I do, and surrounded by those I love.
What do you want from me?
You mean aside from passionate, unbridled sex? Well, I would certainly love for us to continue being friends like we have been for the past 5 years and to paint a portrait of your devastatingly handsome self somewhere in the near future.
Where do you see yourself in 2 years?
Finishing OTIS, holding down a job in my field, and contemplating Graduate Studies in either English or Art History.
From Joe (ere_evil_befell):
Did you get lucky on New Years?
The score still stands at Sex: 0 Virginity: 22
What is your favorite movie quote?
"After my divorce from Luther I scraped by with baby-sitting gigs and odd jobs - mostly the jobs we call blow." -Hedwig and the Angry Inch
Better author...Capote or Salinger?
I'm partial to Salinger, personally. Hooray for reclusion, and unwillingness to grant movie rights!
From Lincoln:
Why are you still a Catholic when you are obviously such an intelligent skeptic?
Because Jesus is my baby daddy. No, really, my kid's dad is really named Jesus. He's a busboy at Super Tacos Michoacan.
Just kidding...
Ok, now that I've appalled all of you with my insensitivity towards other cultures and rampant blasphemy, I'm Catholic because I have no real problem with the religion, or with organized religion in general. I'm all about simplifying my life and it honestly takes a lot of the thinking out of the equation.
What is your middle name, is it some hot Latin middle name?
Yes, it's Maria Guadalupe Veracruz Gonzalez. Lincoln, you should definitely know better than to ask a Hispanic girl this. In all honesty, I lack a middle name.
What's your .?
Wait, let me see if I got this straight...what's my period? Well, if you really want to know, around the 28th day of a woman's menstrual cycle, the uterus begins to shed its lining...
From Jason:
Why do you keep joking about tumors?
I'm a terrible hypochondriac.
Why do you like being attacked by guys?
The question is, why is it that you feel compelled to sock me in the mouth and make me look like Andrew WK?
Why does your dad look like Ed McMahon?
I still don't see it, but if you say so. Regardless, I'm not quite sure.
From Jeff:
How much do you love pirates?
Almost as much as I love robber-barons and diminutive French leaders which is obviously a lot.
What's your favorite thing to do on a date?
Naked fondue. I'll be the Roquefort, you be the Gruyere! Actually, I like to be impressed. I like knowing that whoever's taking me out actually went through the trouble to plan something special, consequently I don't tend to date a lot.
If you could change one thing about you, what would it be?
My self-defeatist disposition.