/facepalm
Well. I'm an idiot. I've been procrastinating on my NaNo, and have fallen behind. So behind I think that I won't be able to get to my goal this year. But! I don't think I'm quitting just yet... just... trying to muddle through is being a pain, and I'm staring at an open doc. and the cursor is blinking at me angrily like it knows that I'm an idiot.
I talked to Sean yesterday(day before yesterday? maybe? my sleep schedule is so fucked). Yeah. That makes me a bigger idiot, I think, than the fact that I've been procrastinating. I said I wasn't going to do this again. I was polite and mostly silent, letting him talk, and the entire time I just wanted to run and hide because I really didn't want to be talking to him. I was actually surprised, because by now I've stopped counting the months between our conversations, I don't keep them logged anymore, for that reason, and the first thing he said to me when he messaged me was "I'm breaking our three-month silence to see if you know where my girlfriend is, she disappeared a few hours ago, and I can't seem to get a hold of her" And I was like "Haven't talked to her in a few days, but If I see her on I'll tell her to call you." And then he asked me about WoW and I figured, I'd already done the damage by even messaging him back, so we talked for a few minutes, before I skillfully told him that I had to go, and that we'd talk whenever the hell he decides to message me, next time, maybe. Before I went away. But the whole point of that, was how does he remember it's been three months? This is the guy who forgets that his glasses are in his hands and spends fifteen minutes looking for them, and most of our conversations are barely five minutes long when we do talk, and I don't see why he even gives a damn about messaging me anymore? I'm so fucking tired. and I'm just... an idiot. Damnit.
Maybabe? If you're around today email me pleaseeeeee? I need distractions, and you're my muse, so messagemepleasepleaseplease?!
I'm going to go wallow in my idiocy. Thank you.
I talked to Sean yesterday(day before yesterday? maybe? my sleep schedule is so fucked). Yeah. That makes me a bigger idiot, I think, than the fact that I've been procrastinating. I said I wasn't going to do this again. I was polite and mostly silent, letting him talk, and the entire time I just wanted to run and hide because I really didn't want to be talking to him. I was actually surprised, because by now I've stopped counting the months between our conversations, I don't keep them logged anymore, for that reason, and the first thing he said to me when he messaged me was "I'm breaking our three-month silence to see if you know where my girlfriend is, she disappeared a few hours ago, and I can't seem to get a hold of her" And I was like "Haven't talked to her in a few days, but If I see her on I'll tell her to call you." And then he asked me about WoW and I figured, I'd already done the damage by even messaging him back, so we talked for a few minutes, before I skillfully told him that I had to go, and that we'd talk whenever the hell he decides to message me, next time, maybe. Before I went away. But the whole point of that, was how does he remember it's been three months? This is the guy who forgets that his glasses are in his hands and spends fifteen minutes looking for them, and most of our conversations are barely five minutes long when we do talk, and I don't see why he even gives a damn about messaging me anymore? I'm so fucking tired. and I'm just... an idiot. Damnit.
Maybabe? If you're around today email me pleaseeeeee? I need distractions, and you're my muse, so messagemepleasepleaseplease?!
I'm going to go wallow in my idiocy. Thank you.