(almost) 3 months since my last post? wow...
I really haven't been posting on here as I've been spending most of my time on Facebook and writing notes there, posting to my motorcycle blog, or my blog on my website... but for some reason I couldn't post about this anywhere...
But to get caught up a bit... a quick review of the past 3 months:
~I quit my job at the dealership shortly after New Years... pretty much gave my notice the first business day after. I was getting sick all the time and work was cutting in on training.
~I acquired 3 new clients during the 2 week notice at work, which was VERY nice!
~to this day, Mac and his mom are still not talking and her responses to any emails I send are short and curt. Oh, well. I've tried- the fault is now on her (though, was there any doubt it wasn't to begin with?)
So the reason I can't post about this in FB is because it didn't fit into the health & fitness website, nor the motorcycle blog, and it's a fairly touchy subject with family- and they aren't on here.
It's about babies...
We're coming up on our 14th wedding anniversary and after a year of serious discussion off and on, we've decided to NOT have children. Even though it is entirely our decision, I know that there's a LOT of pressure from the family for us to procreate. We just don't want children- not now. And by the time we do want kids, I'll likely be beyond the age where it's considered safe- or that I'd WANT to- so we'll adopt. Dispite the obvious time and financial committment of the process, we feel we can provide the love and support to a child that's not from our bodies. From the time I was a teenager, I never wanted to physically have babies! I always wanted to adopt! But I believe the (not always) unspoken expectation from the family made me believe it was what I wanted... various family members have been quite vocal about it!
What are they going to say when they find out Mac is getting "fixed"? That will entirely be MY fault... I pressured him into it... it's something I'm NOT looking forward to! It was discussed and decided together- but, ultimately his decision!
A couple months ago, we were visiting my cousin and her 2 1/2 year old baby... at that point I was like "thank goodness we're not having one"...
Yesterday Mac did some photos of my friends new 3 week old baby... got some fabulous pics of him (and her) and when I was going to pick her up, Mac made a comment that it would be good to have exposure to a newborn as all our exposure has been to the 2-5 year olds! I told him that I am not going to base whether I change my mind on the 6 hours we spend with my friends newborn as they're only newborn for a SHORT period of time, and my "no" reaction of the other ages happen way more than the "yes" reaction to newborns!
But after I dropped them off, my reaction was still "no"...
Yes, he was sweet. Absolutely adorable! And I can understand the "I want one" reaction... but there was the CONSTANT feeding, crying, holding him all the time (she couldn't even eat dinner!) not to mention the poopy diapers, spit up, and I did get pee'd on (or leaked on... but still!) It was constant and never ending. The attention and care required... I couldn't do it!!! Especially when she said he was such an EASY baby to deal with ! EASY??? I got tired just watching her!
I understand that "it's different when it's your own"... but I was thankful I had that experience... it made me realize that though I have the nurturing, caring, protective reaction, I would rather visit with friends kids than have my own- I loved helping Mac photograph him- that sweet innocence! I LOVED holding him! I'd coo to him and stroke his hands and head... but that's it. I was thankful it was a short period of time. I was happy to give her a break, but I was happier to hand him back!
Well... I had to "vent" about this... though I guess it's not really venting... more like expressing my opinion...
But to get caught up a bit... a quick review of the past 3 months:
~I quit my job at the dealership shortly after New Years... pretty much gave my notice the first business day after. I was getting sick all the time and work was cutting in on training.
~I acquired 3 new clients during the 2 week notice at work, which was VERY nice!
~to this day, Mac and his mom are still not talking and her responses to any emails I send are short and curt. Oh, well. I've tried- the fault is now on her (though, was there any doubt it wasn't to begin with?)
So the reason I can't post about this in FB is because it didn't fit into the health & fitness website, nor the motorcycle blog, and it's a fairly touchy subject with family- and they aren't on here.
It's about babies...
We're coming up on our 14th wedding anniversary and after a year of serious discussion off and on, we've decided to NOT have children. Even though it is entirely our decision, I know that there's a LOT of pressure from the family for us to procreate. We just don't want children- not now. And by the time we do want kids, I'll likely be beyond the age where it's considered safe- or that I'd WANT to- so we'll adopt. Dispite the obvious time and financial committment of the process, we feel we can provide the love and support to a child that's not from our bodies. From the time I was a teenager, I never wanted to physically have babies! I always wanted to adopt! But I believe the (not always) unspoken expectation from the family made me believe it was what I wanted... various family members have been quite vocal about it!
What are they going to say when they find out Mac is getting "fixed"? That will entirely be MY fault... I pressured him into it... it's something I'm NOT looking forward to! It was discussed and decided together- but, ultimately his decision!
A couple months ago, we were visiting my cousin and her 2 1/2 year old baby... at that point I was like "thank goodness we're not having one"...
Yesterday Mac did some photos of my friends new 3 week old baby... got some fabulous pics of him (and her) and when I was going to pick her up, Mac made a comment that it would be good to have exposure to a newborn as all our exposure has been to the 2-5 year olds! I told him that I am not going to base whether I change my mind on the 6 hours we spend with my friends newborn as they're only newborn for a SHORT period of time, and my "no" reaction of the other ages happen way more than the "yes" reaction to newborns!
But after I dropped them off, my reaction was still "no"...
Yes, he was sweet. Absolutely adorable! And I can understand the "I want one" reaction... but there was the CONSTANT feeding, crying, holding him all the time (she couldn't even eat dinner!) not to mention the poopy diapers, spit up, and I did get pee'd on (or leaked on... but still!) It was constant and never ending. The attention and care required... I couldn't do it!!! Especially when she said he was such an EASY baby to deal with ! EASY??? I got tired just watching her!
I understand that "it's different when it's your own"... but I was thankful I had that experience... it made me realize that though I have the nurturing, caring, protective reaction, I would rather visit with friends kids than have my own- I loved helping Mac photograph him- that sweet innocence! I LOVED holding him! I'd coo to him and stroke his hands and head... but that's it. I was thankful it was a short period of time. I was happy to give her a break, but I was happier to hand him back!
Well... I had to "vent" about this... though I guess it's not really venting... more like expressing my opinion...