I wish I could un-know that...
So 
lysimache and I have been reading Latin, as is our wont, and currently we (okay, me, with her helping me on the words I keep forgetting) are reading an adaptation of Cupid and Psyche, and oh my God I cannot believe Psyche believes some of this stuff. She is possibly too stupid to live, although the narrative basically conspires to keep her from actually killing herself -- she throws herself in a stream and it washes her up on the bank. Anyway.
If you've forgotten, there's a prophesy that says she's going to marry an evil monster and she marries Cupid but he says she isn't allowed to see him, and he only visits at night, but they live in an amazing house full of riches with talking things kind of exactly like in Beauty and the Beast. And now she's pregnant. And Psyche's evil sisters are really jealous, so when they figure out she doesn't even know what her husband looks like (because she can't keep her lies straight) they come up with a plan. Paraphrasing here:
SISTERS: You're in a lot of danger! We asked around and we talked to the farmers and the hunters and we know for a fact that your husband is a giant snake. A giant venomous snake. That you're secretly sleeping with at night. They've seen him coming back from feeding. Now, they all said that he's not going to eat you right away, but he's fattening you up, and after you give birth he's going to eat you and your kid. So you have to decide whether you want to live with us, free from danger, or in the guts of a wild beast!
PSYCHE: I'm really afraid that you might be right. I've never actually seen my husband's face, so I agree that he's a wild animal, like you said! Help me!
SISTERS: Okay, here's the plan. Get a covered lamp, and get a sharp razor, and hide the razor on your side of the bed. Wait until your husband comes to bed, and is deeply asleep, and then uncover the light and chop his head off. We'll be waiting for you. Make sure to bring all the fabulous treasure with you when you go. Then we'll get you married to an actual human!
ME: Wait, Psyche actually falls for "your husband is a snake?" She's slept with him! And she thinks he might legitimately be a snake?
LYSIMACHE: Did you want to think about why she can't tell her husband apart from a snake?
[Horrified silence ensues.]
ME: ...no. No, I really did not. Ick.
LYSIMACHE: *laughs a whole lot and looks immensely pleased with herself*
In conclusion: the snake is Cupid's penis.
Somehow no one tells you these things about myths when you're a kid. I think past!me is traumatized. Present!me kind of might be as well.
(In the next chapter, Psyche botches the execution and manages to poke herself in the thumb with one of Cupid's arrows -- because we needed all the phallic imagery, I guess -- and is therefore now in love with him. Whoops.)
Facts I have needed to learn again while reading this chapter: Latin does not actually distinguish between "high" and "deep," which meant that I may have said that Cupid flew away into the sea. My bad.
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lysimache and I have been reading Latin, as is our wont, and currently we (okay, me, with her helping me on the words I keep forgetting) are reading an adaptation of Cupid and Psyche, and oh my God I cannot believe Psyche believes some of this stuff. She is possibly too stupid to live, although the narrative basically conspires to keep her from actually killing herself -- she throws herself in a stream and it washes her up on the bank. Anyway.
If you've forgotten, there's a prophesy that says she's going to marry an evil monster and she marries Cupid but he says she isn't allowed to see him, and he only visits at night, but they live in an amazing house full of riches with talking things kind of exactly like in Beauty and the Beast. And now she's pregnant. And Psyche's evil sisters are really jealous, so when they figure out she doesn't even know what her husband looks like (because she can't keep her lies straight) they come up with a plan. Paraphrasing here:
SISTERS: You're in a lot of danger! We asked around and we talked to the farmers and the hunters and we know for a fact that your husband is a giant snake. A giant venomous snake. That you're secretly sleeping with at night. They've seen him coming back from feeding. Now, they all said that he's not going to eat you right away, but he's fattening you up, and after you give birth he's going to eat you and your kid. So you have to decide whether you want to live with us, free from danger, or in the guts of a wild beast!
PSYCHE: I'm really afraid that you might be right. I've never actually seen my husband's face, so I agree that he's a wild animal, like you said! Help me!
SISTERS: Okay, here's the plan. Get a covered lamp, and get a sharp razor, and hide the razor on your side of the bed. Wait until your husband comes to bed, and is deeply asleep, and then uncover the light and chop his head off. We'll be waiting for you. Make sure to bring all the fabulous treasure with you when you go. Then we'll get you married to an actual human!
ME: Wait, Psyche actually falls for "your husband is a snake?" She's slept with him! And she thinks he might legitimately be a snake?
LYSIMACHE: Did you want to think about why she can't tell her husband apart from a snake?
[Horrified silence ensues.]
ME: ...no. No, I really did not. Ick.
LYSIMACHE: *laughs a whole lot and looks immensely pleased with herself*
In conclusion: the snake is Cupid's penis.
Somehow no one tells you these things about myths when you're a kid. I think past!me is traumatized. Present!me kind of might be as well.
(In the next chapter, Psyche botches the execution and manages to poke herself in the thumb with one of Cupid's arrows -- because we needed all the phallic imagery, I guess -- and is therefore now in love with him. Whoops.)
Facts I have needed to learn again while reading this chapter: Latin does not actually distinguish between "high" and "deep," which meant that I may have said that Cupid flew away into the sea. My bad.
Read this entry on Dreamwidth ||
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