throw your arms around this mess
It's been a tough couple of days.
A lot of our friends got married a couple of years ago. All around the same time. Chris and I joked about it a lot, especially one month wherein we spent four weekends going to weddings and the fifth weekend of the month at a bridal shower. It was busy. And now, a number of them are pregnant or have babies. I know it's the age--it's about the right time for everybody to want to start a family. That said, maybe I should have seen some of what has happened coming, but I really didn't.
About a week ago, one of my friends had her water break at 25 weeks. By the time they got to the hospital, the baby was breech and her legs were already partially down the birth canal. The doctors did an emergency c-section, and the baby when to the NICU. She appeared to be doing well . . . until her kidneys shut down. Some sort of genetic problem that hadn't been identified previously. The baby lived two days. Her mom didn't get released from the hospital until a day or two after that.
Another friend had her sister excitedly announce a pregnancy. The next day, she miscarried.
One of my cousins has been wanting a child for a very long time. She and her husband had been dealing with infertility issues, and were beyond thrilled when they got pregnant. Then something came up on an ultrasound. Her doctor asked if she would like to have an amnio so they could decide whether to terminate the pregnancy. (She declined--termination was not an option for them.) After her last appointment, the problem appears to be getting worse, but there is absolutely nothing the doctors can do in utero, so they need to wait until the baby is born and then take stock of the situation.
And my heart aches so much for all of these families. I've been humbled by the strength and grace they have shown--particularly the couple who had two days with their daughter before she died. It's scary and frustrating and heart-wrenching . . . and maybe with so many friends pregnant, statistics say not all of the pregnancies will result with a healthy baby. But to hear about all three of these in the past two days has been really tough.
And then there's Haiti. Our church had a group of missionaries there over Christmas, bringing shoes and medicine, sponsoring a water purification system, building an orphanage. And for all I know, the water purification system and orphanage are now leveled. I was saying something to Chris tonight about how things would be so different if they were going now, and how it seemed like what they did (just weeks ago!) was fruitless. And he pointed out that it's possible those shoes are saving lives. Because people can walk through the rubble without having to have bare feet touching broken glass and other wreckage. And maybe that's exactly what they need at this moment.
The church is sending another team (two more teams?) who were collecting supplies until 5pm. Presumably they flew out shortly after that. We have things to offer, but didn't get it to the first team in time. Hopefully we'll still be able to get it to the second team.
It just seems . . . overwhelming. So much pain and heartbreak. And it feels a little unfair that I'm here, in a safe place, with a healthy child. While tens of thousands--maybe hundreds of thousands--of others are dead. And each one of them is as deserving of life as I am. God loves each one of those children as much as he loves my son. But I'm the one who lives in the right place, and has been blessed with health and luck.
None of this has even happened to me. It doesn't feel right, somehow, that I should be personally upset about any of this. Except that I just feel so bad for the people who are in the middle of it.
Like I said, it's been a rough couple of days.
A lot of our friends got married a couple of years ago. All around the same time. Chris and I joked about it a lot, especially one month wherein we spent four weekends going to weddings and the fifth weekend of the month at a bridal shower. It was busy. And now, a number of them are pregnant or have babies. I know it's the age--it's about the right time for everybody to want to start a family. That said, maybe I should have seen some of what has happened coming, but I really didn't.
About a week ago, one of my friends had her water break at 25 weeks. By the time they got to the hospital, the baby was breech and her legs were already partially down the birth canal. The doctors did an emergency c-section, and the baby when to the NICU. She appeared to be doing well . . . until her kidneys shut down. Some sort of genetic problem that hadn't been identified previously. The baby lived two days. Her mom didn't get released from the hospital until a day or two after that.
Another friend had her sister excitedly announce a pregnancy. The next day, she miscarried.
One of my cousins has been wanting a child for a very long time. She and her husband had been dealing with infertility issues, and were beyond thrilled when they got pregnant. Then something came up on an ultrasound. Her doctor asked if she would like to have an amnio so they could decide whether to terminate the pregnancy. (She declined--termination was not an option for them.) After her last appointment, the problem appears to be getting worse, but there is absolutely nothing the doctors can do in utero, so they need to wait until the baby is born and then take stock of the situation.
And my heart aches so much for all of these families. I've been humbled by the strength and grace they have shown--particularly the couple who had two days with their daughter before she died. It's scary and frustrating and heart-wrenching . . . and maybe with so many friends pregnant, statistics say not all of the pregnancies will result with a healthy baby. But to hear about all three of these in the past two days has been really tough.
And then there's Haiti. Our church had a group of missionaries there over Christmas, bringing shoes and medicine, sponsoring a water purification system, building an orphanage. And for all I know, the water purification system and orphanage are now leveled. I was saying something to Chris tonight about how things would be so different if they were going now, and how it seemed like what they did (just weeks ago!) was fruitless. And he pointed out that it's possible those shoes are saving lives. Because people can walk through the rubble without having to have bare feet touching broken glass and other wreckage. And maybe that's exactly what they need at this moment.
The church is sending another team (two more teams?) who were collecting supplies until 5pm. Presumably they flew out shortly after that. We have things to offer, but didn't get it to the first team in time. Hopefully we'll still be able to get it to the second team.
It just seems . . . overwhelming. So much pain and heartbreak. And it feels a little unfair that I'm here, in a safe place, with a healthy child. While tens of thousands--maybe hundreds of thousands--of others are dead. And each one of them is as deserving of life as I am. God loves each one of those children as much as he loves my son. But I'm the one who lives in the right place, and has been blessed with health and luck.
None of this has even happened to me. It doesn't feel right, somehow, that I should be personally upset about any of this. Except that I just feel so bad for the people who are in the middle of it.
Like I said, it's been a rough couple of days.