Endless Void i call Life
Here I sit again in front of this damn computer being my only outlet in this insane world to rant and rave but I guess it doesn’t matter anymore I am having a hard time with life right now I am really struggling to exist my life. I am not depressed just starting to hate everything around me frustrating myself into a fit of rage which I can only feel that I want to release some of my pain in the only way I know but ripping my pain from me dropping its crimson to the ground saving me from myself is the hardest thing. I am sick I am tired I just quit smoking and its really hard on me my job sucks and its all starting to do me in the only grip I have holding on to reality is her and when she’s not there I begin to fall with nothing to hold onto I begun to drowned. I want so much but I feel like I am in a whole six feet down in a box struggling to live while every time I turn around more dirt is being dropped on my head making it harder and harder to escape and I am starting to break I am trying to keep solid but I don’t know how long I can last till I snap and loss it and destroy everything around me as I normally do but I guess it cant be all bad right when I am around her it all goes away and I feel better but when I escape are loving bliss and into the real world I want to kill everybody in a big fucken mass genocide ripping there heads from there bodies and dancing in there blood celebrating in there death like some sort of devil cult. What ever I don’t care ill do as I normally do ill hold strong push through all this shit and come out at least on my feet surprising all the shit I go through I always come out swinging I wont let anybody or anything take me down with out a fight I will fight to my last breath. But as I always say it will work out because it hast to or ill be dead and I guess it wont matter at that point anyway so what the fuck head first into the deep end.