You've got to admit it's getting better, Paul.
It's a whole new city once April rolls around in Fredericton.
It's prettier, I can walk around in shorts, but now I'm not accompanied by a flock of friends on my ever-so-frequenly made nowadays trips to the grocery store, making me feel conspicuous about said shorts. While crossing the street today I was remeinded of my high school insecurities about my legs jiggling, my shorts riding up, my fly being undone. That's the worst feeling for me- not being comfortable in my clothing. Not because I myself, as in, my body, am irritated or in pain,but that feeling of everyone watching me makes my skin crawl, makes my arms fold across my stomach, makes me check my hair and stare at my legs.
Being alone this week has been a challenge. I don't like solitude- it's unnatural to me I guess. 3 sisters and so many animals have spoiled me .
It will get better though- it always does. I make friends and then the lonliness always stops. I just have to remember to hold on to a little of myself this time around.
Psychology seems alright. I don't know enough about it- or anything else- to declare my major yet. I don't think that's because I don't know what I want to do- I do know, in my heart, that I will be teaching, soemone, somewhere, quite soon. Declaring a major is too specific, too much to the point for me. I need to soak up as much as I can before I decide I'm ready to leave university and settle down. I bought silverwear today you know, this must mean the settling is coming.
It's prettier, I can walk around in shorts, but now I'm not accompanied by a flock of friends on my ever-so-frequenly made nowadays trips to the grocery store, making me feel conspicuous about said shorts. While crossing the street today I was remeinded of my high school insecurities about my legs jiggling, my shorts riding up, my fly being undone. That's the worst feeling for me- not being comfortable in my clothing. Not because I myself, as in, my body, am irritated or in pain,but that feeling of everyone watching me makes my skin crawl, makes my arms fold across my stomach, makes me check my hair and stare at my legs.
Being alone this week has been a challenge. I don't like solitude- it's unnatural to me I guess. 3 sisters and so many animals have spoiled me .
It will get better though- it always does. I make friends and then the lonliness always stops. I just have to remember to hold on to a little of myself this time around.
Psychology seems alright. I don't know enough about it- or anything else- to declare my major yet. I don't think that's because I don't know what I want to do- I do know, in my heart, that I will be teaching, soemone, somewhere, quite soon. Declaring a major is too specific, too much to the point for me. I need to soak up as much as I can before I decide I'm ready to leave university and settle down. I bought silverwear today you know, this must mean the settling is coming.