since you been gone, I can breathe for the first time..
I was in an awful mood today. still am, but less so than before because I spend a good portion of the night taking my mind off things by watching The Bourne Identity and West Wing. you know those days when one thing bad happens and then everything else goes wrong and you just realize how pissed off you are at everything? yeah, it was one of those. anyway, I don't think I'm going to be feeling better any time soon.
during my angrier part of the day, I made a fuck list to vent, but couldn't do it on livejournal because it was in read-only mode since I got home from school.. which of course I should have expected because whenever I have a bad day, everything seems to pick up on it and decide to make it worse. if I were you, I wouldn't waste my time, but here it is anyway.
-fuck ms. burns and her teenage attitude.. in case she hadn't noticed, she's at least 16 years too old to be acting my age (and she has grey roots to show for it).
-fuck not being able to do the musical.
-fuck crying in front of ms. burns who doesn't deserve a fucking tear, for her to then say nasty comments to me as I was leaving.
-fuck crying in front of anyone, period. (as a matter of fact, fuck crying).
-fuck having tracheitis (that stupid fucking hacking cough), and coincidentally on the day kap asks me to sing in chorus.
-fuck being really uncomfortable because I don't even have enough energy to cough.
-fuck the chorus concert being on my birthday.
-fuck having an unusually short christmas break this year.
-fuck only enjoying 2 things in my life and having to choose between them.
-fuck not playing well at my first practice yesterday.
-fuck being by far the worst passer on my team.
-fuck mrs. fallon for being completely unreasonable and stubborn and calling me and other people in the class liars because she fucked up and told us the wrong thing.
-fuck livejournal for not letting me log on for 3589043859043850 hours so I can vent (although this will do).
-fuck not even knowing how to use xanga.
-fuck my possessed computer for its incessant freezing and tendency to just restart itself whenever it feels the need.
-fuck me for not reading the scarlet letter.
-fuck me again, because I know I'm not going to read it tonight, the only night I will have a chance to before the essay.
-fuck mrs. brady for dismissing people's opinions just because she doesn't agree with them.
-fuck ms. burns again, just because I hate her that much.
-fuck next year, because all my friends will be in college.
-fuck mrs bloom for being a bad coach and having favorites and being a bitch especially to the seniors, who happen to be my best friends.
-fuck living in long beach and having no life.
-fuck Bush for so many reasons that I could probably spend all of today and the majority of my life explaining why.
-fuck nights I have to babysit.
-fuck my birthday, because I really don't want it to be one of those things when people feel obligated to do things for you just because they're your friends and should, but of course that's what it is. I don't want them to do things because they're supposed to, it's like an excuse to get everyone together because it never ends up to be about the person's birthday anyway. and then people just get into fights and it causes problems when half the people there probably don't even care that it's your birthday in the first place.
-fuck everyone who makes me feel bad about myself. and on that note, fuck everyone who intentionally points out my flaws.. I can see them, thanks.
-fuck me for having said flaws in the first place.
-fuck how whenever all my friends hang out at once in one big group I'm practically invisible.
-fuck being practically invisible anyway.
-fuck today, because I have nothing better to do than be in a bad mood.
-fuck me for the 394575 time for being a two year old and not being able to accept things.
at the moment, my thoughts are scattered. the majority of that list is from today/this past week, but towards the end really has nothing to do with anything. that's what happens when I get angry/upset. I'm reminded of everything else that bothers me. and to think it all started with ms. burns being a complete bitch. I need to stop going on tangents like that.
yeah, really bad day. I'm going to go follow my nightly routine and go to sleep now instead of doing my homework. goodnight.
during my angrier part of the day, I made a fuck list to vent, but couldn't do it on livejournal because it was in read-only mode since I got home from school.. which of course I should have expected because whenever I have a bad day, everything seems to pick up on it and decide to make it worse. if I were you, I wouldn't waste my time, but here it is anyway.
-fuck ms. burns and her teenage attitude.. in case she hadn't noticed, she's at least 16 years too old to be acting my age (and she has grey roots to show for it).
-fuck not being able to do the musical.
-fuck crying in front of ms. burns who doesn't deserve a fucking tear, for her to then say nasty comments to me as I was leaving.
-fuck crying in front of anyone, period. (as a matter of fact, fuck crying).
-fuck having tracheitis (that stupid fucking hacking cough), and coincidentally on the day kap asks me to sing in chorus.
-fuck being really uncomfortable because I don't even have enough energy to cough.
-fuck the chorus concert being on my birthday.
-fuck having an unusually short christmas break this year.
-fuck only enjoying 2 things in my life and having to choose between them.
-fuck not playing well at my first practice yesterday.
-fuck being by far the worst passer on my team.
-fuck mrs. fallon for being completely unreasonable and stubborn and calling me and other people in the class liars because she fucked up and told us the wrong thing.
-fuck livejournal for not letting me log on for 3589043859043850 hours so I can vent (although this will do).
-fuck not even knowing how to use xanga.
-fuck my possessed computer for its incessant freezing and tendency to just restart itself whenever it feels the need.
-fuck me for not reading the scarlet letter.
-fuck me again, because I know I'm not going to read it tonight, the only night I will have a chance to before the essay.
-fuck mrs. brady for dismissing people's opinions just because she doesn't agree with them.
-fuck ms. burns again, just because I hate her that much.
-fuck next year, because all my friends will be in college.
-fuck mrs bloom for being a bad coach and having favorites and being a bitch especially to the seniors, who happen to be my best friends.
-fuck living in long beach and having no life.
-fuck Bush for so many reasons that I could probably spend all of today and the majority of my life explaining why.
-fuck nights I have to babysit.
-fuck my birthday, because I really don't want it to be one of those things when people feel obligated to do things for you just because they're your friends and should, but of course that's what it is. I don't want them to do things because they're supposed to, it's like an excuse to get everyone together because it never ends up to be about the person's birthday anyway. and then people just get into fights and it causes problems when half the people there probably don't even care that it's your birthday in the first place.
-fuck everyone who makes me feel bad about myself. and on that note, fuck everyone who intentionally points out my flaws.. I can see them, thanks.
-fuck me for having said flaws in the first place.
-fuck how whenever all my friends hang out at once in one big group I'm practically invisible.
-fuck being practically invisible anyway.
-fuck today, because I have nothing better to do than be in a bad mood.
-fuck me for the 394575 time for being a two year old and not being able to accept things.
at the moment, my thoughts are scattered. the majority of that list is from today/this past week, but towards the end really has nothing to do with anything. that's what happens when I get angry/upset. I'm reminded of everything else that bothers me. and to think it all started with ms. burns being a complete bitch. I need to stop going on tangents like that.
yeah, really bad day. I'm going to go follow my nightly routine and go to sleep now instead of doing my homework. goodnight.