(no subject)
Ladies and gentlemen, I am here to deliver unto you shocking news about the state of your Judeo-Christian afterlife, news which I fear has direct consequences for millions of us. While none of us were paying attention the whole management system of your Eternal Damnation has been fired and a new agency put into its place. This new agency makes the old management seem like a collection of old pensioners, harmless ancient duffers who were more interested their comfort than your punishment.
Then something happened, a shift in the cosmos we have not seen since antediluvian ages. Somewhere in the etheral kindom of heaven an alarm went off, chimes rang and the more violent of the angelic host nearly shat themselves with excitement.
Johnny Cash died.
And the Host realizes that while your faith may have waned and your belief in the wrath of God may have slipped, you still believe in Johnny Cash. And you know he's right. And he will run you down like a dog if you are bad. Johnny will pursue you through the endless Wild West that has replaced hell, eyes full of righteousness and grim determination, and he will make you regret the immortality of the soul.
Do not be bad, do not speak evil, because beyond the Veil Mr. Cash waits to string you up on the branches of the Tree in what was Eden and fold you into a guilt-sack with the force of his gaze.
Be warned!
I need more things to do at work.
Then something happened, a shift in the cosmos we have not seen since antediluvian ages. Somewhere in the etheral kindom of heaven an alarm went off, chimes rang and the more violent of the angelic host nearly shat themselves with excitement.
Johnny Cash died.
And the Host realizes that while your faith may have waned and your belief in the wrath of God may have slipped, you still believe in Johnny Cash. And you know he's right. And he will run you down like a dog if you are bad. Johnny will pursue you through the endless Wild West that has replaced hell, eyes full of righteousness and grim determination, and he will make you regret the immortality of the soul.
Do not be bad, do not speak evil, because beyond the Veil Mr. Cash waits to string you up on the branches of the Tree in what was Eden and fold you into a guilt-sack with the force of his gaze.
Be warned!
I need more things to do at work.