feelings
Lately it seems all my friends are down. No matter what I say or try to advise its never the right thing.
It seems they all have problems with who they or what they are doing.
This includes Mike as well. They all seem to have relationship issues. Sual beats himself up because he's a good guy and kind guy but cant find a girl. Probably because he seems very overbearing at first. Very into family and wanting a relationship and that kind of pressure on a girl usually freaks her out a bit when it comes so early. Aussie is depressed and down all the time because people in his area tend to ignore him or interrupt him except his best friend Shane, plus his dad is dying. Jazz's husband has diabeties and Jazz has been working on that with him and has lost some friends because of how much time she's devoted to him. DJ is just socially weird and what he says doesnt come out right sometimes. Chris just cant get out of the harmful relationship he has been in and out of for the past 5 years. Everytime he is around Mattt he gets even worse, takes more meds and drinks more. But Matt makes him feel like he's needed so he keeps going back to that tool. I'm not entirely sure why Luke is beating himself up but I know it has to do with relationships. Mike is beating himself up as well, thinking he is a horrible person because he seems to choose to have relationships with seemingly impossible people. Plus he doesnt see that many friends any more because I rarely go out and it seems everytime he wantas to go out I have to go to or he isnt going. James is having a hard time with things but I'm not clear on exactly what so I cant comment on it too much.
To be honest I'm not entirely sure what exactly is going on with everyone. They seem to let a billion things bother them.
I mean I worry about things and there are times when I do feel like (and am probably being) a bitch. I work through it the best I can and my friends usually see that and we're all very forgiving of each other. We all keep in contact one way or another, be it email or the occasional phone call. We all know if one of us is stranded on the side of the road we can call each other and we'll be there as soon as we can.
But it seems like some people have a lot of trouble with this. Finding relationships they work well it. I cant say its differences exactly because all my friends are vastly different from myself and each other. My only guess is its extremeities. Mike is very extreme. SO is Luke and Chris and Saul and James. To one end or another they are extreme. Which can be a good thing at times. I've been trying to work on relaxation and/or flexibility with most of them but I dont think thats going so well.
Not only am I running out of ideas but as horrible as it is I am running out of patience.
I am a very independant person. I can function with or without someone around me or talking to me or even listening to my problems. I keep a lot of stuff to myself, mostly because I know eventually through work and a bit of time and more understanding on my part I can get through it. There are times I will talk to someone if I just keep running my head into a wall repeatedly.
Which is why I am writing this now. I dont know what I can do to help them. I've tried relaxation, just listening, giving advise, simply being there to hold them if needed. I've tried humor and telling stories with morals at the end of them.
I think the ones that hurt me the most are my friends who beat themselves up over and over and over. Maybe its just because the only time they share it is when it is hurting them the most so I hear it over and over and over with nothing in between. Or maybe I just dont get it. Like Mike and Luke who think they have something so wrong with them that they can never have a long lasting friendship/relationship with any one. Maybe its because of the people they use to hang out with who told them they were sinful and prideful all the time and never really gave them a chance to know/be themselves and work within that. Chris is just an addictive person and Matt is an addiction for him. And I wish that I could see Chris once a week and show him that there are other people who love him and need him as well that arent so demanding of him and that are people that will be there with out needing anything in return everytime. I tell Mike I love him but sometimes it just doesnt seem like that is enough to him and that hurts sometimes. Like he has to have everything perfect.
I guess what I have a hard time standing is everyone's constant inner turmoil. Its hurting them and its hurting me seeing them that way and I feel helpless. I'm not saying I want them to stop telling me all these things that bother them. I'm just saying I wish I knew what to say/do. Or rather I wish I knew what to say/do that would actually work.
It seems they all have problems with who they or what they are doing.
This includes Mike as well. They all seem to have relationship issues. Sual beats himself up because he's a good guy and kind guy but cant find a girl. Probably because he seems very overbearing at first. Very into family and wanting a relationship and that kind of pressure on a girl usually freaks her out a bit when it comes so early. Aussie is depressed and down all the time because people in his area tend to ignore him or interrupt him except his best friend Shane, plus his dad is dying. Jazz's husband has diabeties and Jazz has been working on that with him and has lost some friends because of how much time she's devoted to him. DJ is just socially weird and what he says doesnt come out right sometimes. Chris just cant get out of the harmful relationship he has been in and out of for the past 5 years. Everytime he is around Mattt he gets even worse, takes more meds and drinks more. But Matt makes him feel like he's needed so he keeps going back to that tool. I'm not entirely sure why Luke is beating himself up but I know it has to do with relationships. Mike is beating himself up as well, thinking he is a horrible person because he seems to choose to have relationships with seemingly impossible people. Plus he doesnt see that many friends any more because I rarely go out and it seems everytime he wantas to go out I have to go to or he isnt going. James is having a hard time with things but I'm not clear on exactly what so I cant comment on it too much.
To be honest I'm not entirely sure what exactly is going on with everyone. They seem to let a billion things bother them.
I mean I worry about things and there are times when I do feel like (and am probably being) a bitch. I work through it the best I can and my friends usually see that and we're all very forgiving of each other. We all keep in contact one way or another, be it email or the occasional phone call. We all know if one of us is stranded on the side of the road we can call each other and we'll be there as soon as we can.
But it seems like some people have a lot of trouble with this. Finding relationships they work well it. I cant say its differences exactly because all my friends are vastly different from myself and each other. My only guess is its extremeities. Mike is very extreme. SO is Luke and Chris and Saul and James. To one end or another they are extreme. Which can be a good thing at times. I've been trying to work on relaxation and/or flexibility with most of them but I dont think thats going so well.
Not only am I running out of ideas but as horrible as it is I am running out of patience.
I am a very independant person. I can function with or without someone around me or talking to me or even listening to my problems. I keep a lot of stuff to myself, mostly because I know eventually through work and a bit of time and more understanding on my part I can get through it. There are times I will talk to someone if I just keep running my head into a wall repeatedly.
Which is why I am writing this now. I dont know what I can do to help them. I've tried relaxation, just listening, giving advise, simply being there to hold them if needed. I've tried humor and telling stories with morals at the end of them.
I think the ones that hurt me the most are my friends who beat themselves up over and over and over. Maybe its just because the only time they share it is when it is hurting them the most so I hear it over and over and over with nothing in between. Or maybe I just dont get it. Like Mike and Luke who think they have something so wrong with them that they can never have a long lasting friendship/relationship with any one. Maybe its because of the people they use to hang out with who told them they were sinful and prideful all the time and never really gave them a chance to know/be themselves and work within that. Chris is just an addictive person and Matt is an addiction for him. And I wish that I could see Chris once a week and show him that there are other people who love him and need him as well that arent so demanding of him and that are people that will be there with out needing anything in return everytime. I tell Mike I love him but sometimes it just doesnt seem like that is enough to him and that hurts sometimes. Like he has to have everything perfect.
I guess what I have a hard time standing is everyone's constant inner turmoil. Its hurting them and its hurting me seeing them that way and I feel helpless. I'm not saying I want them to stop telling me all these things that bother them. I'm just saying I wish I knew what to say/do. Or rather I wish I knew what to say/do that would actually work.