Feel Like One Million Bucks: Spend About One Hundred

[simulatedother]

Or:

What To Do When You Have A Cold: A Breakdown of the Past Thirty-Six Hours

10:00am
Decided that, since I do not have to pay rent this month, that I can afford to buy a very cheap printer so as not to keep up my freeloader routine. Do so and burn my screenwriting professor an album which will not be released for a few weeks to make up for when

Comments

I like Mexican trashcans

[anonymous]

...and all woke up at 6:30 AM with an INTENSE FEELING OF REGRET, DREAD, AND REMORSE, feeling completely irredeemable, but like I wanted to try anyway -- maybe dedicate a park bench, give blood? What on earth happened? I wondered. And was it worse than the Michael Bolton comment? Talking to Kate tonight, she reasoned that since we're all still talking to one another, we can at least rest assured that we didn't wrong a member of the group.

Now. Britta says we didn't -- but there is a part of me convinced we killed a vagrant. It was probably not on purpose. We disposed of his body with a precision beyond art and science, leaving a few mermaids and a monkey in his pocket as a calling card -- not that we intended to make enough of a habit of it ('it' being vagrant-killin') to warrant a 'calling card', but quite the contrary -- we figured what are the odds of us all getting together and doing something like this (especially with you heading off to LA in a month)again -- go big or go home, you only live once, we may as wellleave a calling card and steal big beer. I'm not pointing a finger of blame, but it was most likely Kate's idea. Britta had probably ducked into the washroom for a moment, and the next thing you know, Barry was willynilly pistolwhipping us all into eternal damnation. Oh, margaritas. The smell of quesadillas will from that point on make us uncomfortble, but we won't know why. Quesadillas and blood.

One day, decades from now -- the sickening sound of a distant mariachi band in our ears and hearts -- we'll all awake, simultaneously, states apart, at 6:30 AM and remember where we hid the corpse. Disregarding our careers and familial obligations, we'll all reunite, organize a camping trip in a cabin called Sliding Otter (because a long-ago drunken vagrant-killin is really the kind of thing you can only comfortably reminisce about in the quiet depth of the woods, or Canada) and then, the ghost of whatever it is that we took out will seek it's revenge, one by one of us. As Kate said, it's like I Know What You Did Last Summer, except it's I Know What You Did Last Night. I guess we'll have to RockPaperScissors over who gets played by Jennifer Love Hewitt in the TV movie of this.

Again, Britta says we didn't, but she also keeps insisting she 'played the guitar' in that sketch of hers, so really, who can say.

--S&eM

Re: I like Mexican trashcans

[britsi_jo]

let me add that I was not drunk. ask yourself - would britta really allow the killin' of a vagrant? if it did happen and I somehow blocked it out, I'll bet you guys all convinced me it was a zombie or something along those lines. I am not being played by Jennifer Love Hewitt based on the boob thing. Let me say that now.

Re: I like Mexican trashcans

[simulatedother]

I really think Jennifer Love Hewitt should play me. It would be a challenging role for her, playing not only the cock of the group, but the compe-fucking-tition. Plus the reveal of the dick a la The Crying Game at the end will be a real, how you say, shocker!

Re: I like Mexican trashcans

[simulatedother]

This is, by far, the funniest comment I have ever received.

Congratulations!

:: confetti ::