Where have I been?
Oh my God, has it been a long time or what? Imagine this; there I was sitting at the computer thinking to myself, "I feel like shit right now and I need an outlet quick!", and then it hit me... LiveJournal! I haven't been here in so long, that nobody will read this.. so I pretty much have free reign to say whatever I want, right? Don't answer that...
Oh geez.. okay well let's get you up to speed. I graduated college in Dec '06. Quite frankly I am shocked. That last semester was a grueling one, filled with all of the hardest tests one could ask for. I think I had a nervous break-down twice but I was way too busy to notice it. It was all good though and I had the pleasure of making my mom the proudest that she's ever been of me.
You know.. now that I have the retrospect going on, I'm starting to realize that that's pretty much all I did. I went to school all this time and did little to nothing else. Sure, there were a few parties, a few new people, probably some other stuff but it was all so small and meaningless that I didn't stop to pay attention enough to remember it now. I guess I must have been focused too much on the big picture of graduating. And now... here I am, sitting here at 3 o'clock in the morning, writing words that will be read by probably nobody. Crazy.
I got a job, but I have to quit tomorrow due to my car fuckering-out on me. The job was a field tech position. I serviced Dell computers and I was probably going to be working on IBM's as well... but that's all over now. Tomorrow I will call my manager, whom I have barely gotten the chance to become acquainted with and tell him that my car will be out of commission for a longer time than what the rules allow. You see, my first day on the job I was dispatched out some 300 miles away (back and forth) and my car showed me that it couldn't hang with me. Before I even made it to my first job, my brakes all but completely crapped out on me. The rotors were slamming into the wheel well by the time I hit the gas station on the outskirt of some town called Beloit. Never-the-less, I continued on and completed that job as well as another one some 60 miles away in Salina.
Yesterday I had an estimate performed on the damage to my car and it flips up past the $900 dollar range. They also informed me that it was a miracle that I made it back without my entire front axle caving in on me and my wheels flying off into the ditch. That's just great, isn't it? I get a job and my car falls the fuck apart. To make things worse, the incompetent bastards at my ladies previous bank failed to pay for a bad check that I used my school loan money to pay back, so now we're blacklisted on check writing which means that not only can I not afford to get my car fixed, but I can't even front a check for the estimate. So now I'm stuck at home, while my car.. which I can't even drive safely anyway, sits in mechanics parking lot. I would say that the only way my day could have been worse is if I got a yeast infection in a vagina that I didn't even know I had.
That's pretty bad huh? So let's sum this miserable shit up: I'm out of school, out of a car, out of a job, and I was almost out on my ass until today when I reconciled with my woman after being a complete prick on New Years, leaving her here and venturing off to some party that for God knows what reasons. I'm seriously losing the faith here.
You know what, this entire thing is going to be a "whoa-is-me" kind of rant, because I need to put this down so I can remember why it was I jumped through my fucking window, out into the street, and into oncoming traffic.
Some might say that it's just the after-holiday blues or whatever excuse they make for someone's life truly trashing on them. I personally think it's just coincidence that my life has taken it's worst turn right around the holidays, because I would hate to think that it's just something that we're all just predisposed to, and that I am just a puppet on the string of a man who likes to break me down every now and then. You know me though, I can't take anything seriously.. and right now that's probably the only personality flaw that's keeping me on my feet.
Oh, I also wanted to jot this down in the event that I totally forget about it later. I need things. I need a few things for video editing and I will name them here so I can come back and pick this list up once I have a job, money, etc...
A sound card for my server computer. I am browsing through newegg.com right now and I'll jot two down; one that I'll dream about getting and one that I'll probably end up with:
This is the Blaster Audigy2 ZS Platinum
It retails at almost 200 dollars and it's well beyond my means..... but I want it!
This is probably what I will end up with:
The SABRENT SBT-SP6C 5.1
It retails for about 8 bucks and should be given away for free to desperate guys like me.
****************************************
Another thing that I need (wtf happened to my font?) is a video card.. I like this one:
This is the GeForce 8800 GTX - a video card that could possibly rocket me at advanced speeds into fame. It retails for around $600.. I'll never get it.
So I'll probably get this one...
It's a ... oh who cares.. actually I already have this piece (of shit).
After that... all I will need is Adobe After Effects and maybe some other piece of over-priced garbage to mold my skills on and then I'm set.
You know, outlets are supposed to make you feel better, but I feel like a can of smashed assholes now. So if you'll excuse me... I'm going to go be miserable offline.
Peace!
Oh geez.. okay well let's get you up to speed. I graduated college in Dec '06. Quite frankly I am shocked. That last semester was a grueling one, filled with all of the hardest tests one could ask for. I think I had a nervous break-down twice but I was way too busy to notice it. It was all good though and I had the pleasure of making my mom the proudest that she's ever been of me.
You know.. now that I have the retrospect going on, I'm starting to realize that that's pretty much all I did. I went to school all this time and did little to nothing else. Sure, there were a few parties, a few new people, probably some other stuff but it was all so small and meaningless that I didn't stop to pay attention enough to remember it now. I guess I must have been focused too much on the big picture of graduating. And now... here I am, sitting here at 3 o'clock in the morning, writing words that will be read by probably nobody. Crazy.
I got a job, but I have to quit tomorrow due to my car fuckering-out on me. The job was a field tech position. I serviced Dell computers and I was probably going to be working on IBM's as well... but that's all over now. Tomorrow I will call my manager, whom I have barely gotten the chance to become acquainted with and tell him that my car will be out of commission for a longer time than what the rules allow. You see, my first day on the job I was dispatched out some 300 miles away (back and forth) and my car showed me that it couldn't hang with me. Before I even made it to my first job, my brakes all but completely crapped out on me. The rotors were slamming into the wheel well by the time I hit the gas station on the outskirt of some town called Beloit. Never-the-less, I continued on and completed that job as well as another one some 60 miles away in Salina.
Yesterday I had an estimate performed on the damage to my car and it flips up past the $900 dollar range. They also informed me that it was a miracle that I made it back without my entire front axle caving in on me and my wheels flying off into the ditch. That's just great, isn't it? I get a job and my car falls the fuck apart. To make things worse, the incompetent bastards at my ladies previous bank failed to pay for a bad check that I used my school loan money to pay back, so now we're blacklisted on check writing which means that not only can I not afford to get my car fixed, but I can't even front a check for the estimate. So now I'm stuck at home, while my car.. which I can't even drive safely anyway, sits in mechanics parking lot. I would say that the only way my day could have been worse is if I got a yeast infection in a vagina that I didn't even know I had.
That's pretty bad huh? So let's sum this miserable shit up: I'm out of school, out of a car, out of a job, and I was almost out on my ass until today when I reconciled with my woman after being a complete prick on New Years, leaving her here and venturing off to some party that for God knows what reasons. I'm seriously losing the faith here.
You know what, this entire thing is going to be a "whoa-is-me" kind of rant, because I need to put this down so I can remember why it was I jumped through my fucking window, out into the street, and into oncoming traffic.
Some might say that it's just the after-holiday blues or whatever excuse they make for someone's life truly trashing on them. I personally think it's just coincidence that my life has taken it's worst turn right around the holidays, because I would hate to think that it's just something that we're all just predisposed to, and that I am just a puppet on the string of a man who likes to break me down every now and then. You know me though, I can't take anything seriously.. and right now that's probably the only personality flaw that's keeping me on my feet.
Oh, I also wanted to jot this down in the event that I totally forget about it later. I need things. I need a few things for video editing and I will name them here so I can come back and pick this list up once I have a job, money, etc...
A sound card for my server computer. I am browsing through newegg.com right now and I'll jot two down; one that I'll dream about getting and one that I'll probably end up with:
This is the Blaster Audigy2 ZS Platinum
It retails at almost 200 dollars and it's well beyond my means..... but I want it!
This is probably what I will end up with:
The SABRENT SBT-SP6C 5.1
It retails for about 8 bucks and should be given away for free to desperate guys like me.
****************************************
Another thing that I need (wtf happened to my font?) is a video card.. I like this one:
This is the GeForce 8800 GTX - a video card that could possibly rocket me at advanced speeds into fame. It retails for around $600.. I'll never get it.
So I'll probably get this one...
It's a ... oh who cares.. actually I already have this piece (of shit).
After that... all I will need is Adobe After Effects and maybe some other piece of over-priced garbage to mold my skills on and then I'm set.
You know, outlets are supposed to make you feel better, but I feel like a can of smashed assholes now. So if you'll excuse me... I'm going to go be miserable offline.
Peace!