House of Trouser, 3.02
Thong and Biscuit are so alike they are truly the one dog at times. This is a scary, scary thing.
At other times, they guard the letterbox from the evil maillady.
The maid is allowed to pass. He cleans the beds and bowls.
The maillady only brings pain and suffering, and sometimes discount coupons.
She has the potential to be a good dog, but she lacks the hair.
And nose.
She won't be swayed, and while she does not gain access to the letterbox, she still leaves her infernal material behind.
Her ability to allow solid objects to pass through her is intriguing to the dogs.
So they let her pass.
Ira: So...how about we have another kid? Babies are great!
Bree: ...My egg carton is empty, and you're not baking alone again.
Junior has a bit of trouble getting the nappy change down pat.
Agatha: Helloooo!! I'm home! And I'm stiiiiiinky! Come on and have a whiff! It's ok, it's the smell of success!!
Agatha got a promotion, woo!
Dog: This really fucking hurts!!!
Agatha's been home for a while, but she STILL hasn't managed to shower. She's gone to use the toilet but got distracted by the dogs, come out to meet Kerry, and she keeps sniffing herself. But she won't shower! And look, it's killing Kerry!
Kerry manages to find the one occupied bathroom, and of course she HAD to shower there. And no, that is NOT your child in the tub.
Of the four toilets in the house, Agatha has to use this one, bringing her stench cloud with her. Poor Hybrid can't bathe in peace!
Agatha: Oh god that's disgusting! That's foul! That's me!
*falls over laughing*
It's binned into everything, and here is being used as outerwear.
Death means never having to wear your clothes.
Well, from certain angles, anyway.
Agatha: Those truly are the most magnificent breasts. Though further study can't hurt.
Yay for great parenting! Lucy has shat herself and isn't happy about it.
Scott objects to his sister. Just in general.
When sent to be in the same room as their screaming children, Agatha just stands there, while Kerry whistles. You won't be winning any parent of the year awards, ladies!
Kerry kept wanting to win a dance contest and to bang someone else. So she went on down to the hobby lot to check it out.
I really don't think that's an appropriate way to be dancing with your sister.
Oh, right, you're high. I get ya.
Kerry: I'm completely STD free. I've never had crabs or anything!
Now that's some impressive flexibility.
I know i wrote this guy's name down somewhere, but bugger me if I can find it. I think it was Todd. That'll do, because he's not important. She put another notch on the belt, and without her wife knowing, that's all that matters.
Aww, I'm so glad they worked through their troubles.
Yet another LTW for Bree! I think that's three, but I'm not 100% sure. I should probably check on that.
Next she wants to have 6 grandkids. Oy. Seeing as three of her kids are townie, that puts a lot of pressure on Kerry.
There's a dead pig on my train set!!
Woo yeah!
Does this look like a shitting machine to anyone else??
And Ira's scoffing down those turd balls as fast as he can. EW.
Oh Bree, you can still rock it. I was too slow to get her up on top of the machine.
I don't know if it's one or both dogs that's really dumb, but holy hell, OW.
Bree paints Kerry's portrait, but it still turns out funny. GAH.
Ira: You know, if you're nice to me, I'll leave you lots of money when I die.
Agatha: o_O
Woo! Birthday time!
First up is Lucy!
Who clearly sucked up all of Agatha's genes. Holy hell. She could fly with those ears!
Just look at people face on, never from the side.
Scott gets his turn at flying...
and he's got the Trouser jeansgenes.
Now they're toddlers, Kerry's figured out what to do with them.
Kerry: I really have to train Hybrid better. Why am I doing this?
Lucy is incredibly unimpressed with how she turned out, and vocalises it loudly. And often.
While Scott is more of your silent worrier.
I had a brainwave! I changed Biscuit's coat! Now I can tell them apart!
Why didn't I think of this before??
Oh no. We don't need that in this generation, too!
Grandparents and servos - built in babysitters!
After all, the parents have a very serious game of kicky bag to attend to!
HI FAZZIE!!
I was so excited to see my first ghost puppy.
Especially when he started haunting the toys.
Poor Ira couldn't handle all the dead people in the mausoleum I built (I also redid the whole house, but you'll see that soon enough).
Agatha popped again. Yay! More babies!
This made me squee a bit, as it could only mean one thing...
HOOO HOOO HOOOOOLIO!
But then I had to exit out and come back in...
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
He hasn't come back since then, so I don't know if he's broken forever :(
It probably doesn't help that Ursual keeps possessing his urn.
Fazzie didn't like Jiggly Puff much in life, and he's not going to stop annoying her just because they're both dead!
The not-twins don't like their great-grandmother. Especially when she visits them while they're sleeping.
LEAVE LUCY ALONE! Don't make me exorcise you're see through butt, woman!
But...Lucy doesn't mind.
Awwww :)
Since the kids and Bree were up, she shows that she really is a good grandmother. Well, when she's not drinking. Which she does. A lot.
And so begins the night of horror for Kerry. Fazzie finally gets to revel in being a pain in the ass.
Pretty little glow babies!
But yet again, Thong has no sense of personal space and a strong fondness for crotch.
Fazzie 2 - Kerry 0
Yeah, that's not Hybrid, Fazzie.
Kerry isn't the only one on Fazzie's list.
Hybrid learns that it's not wise to repair the computer if you have 0 mechanical points.
Electrocution means you can pass through solid objects!
This is at least the fourth time Fazzie has scared her, all up, it as about 8. She didn't get much sleep!
And the best way to deal with being scared witless all night? Get drunk!
Don't get even, get maaaaad.
Poor Scott feels he only has the dog to love him.
Lucy don't need no stinkin' love.
Further study shows that those breasts are definitely magnificent.
Bree: We are not having any more children. End of story. YOU are definitely not having any more children. So will you shut up about it already?
Ira: But..but...babies are so sweet and cute!
Bree: I don't recall you ever shooting them out through your cooter! We're too old! Stop trying to make fetchit happen!
There aren't any stairs there...
LOL someone's playing favourites!
Since the dogs get ignored a lot, Agatha sells Thong to Elizabeth Copur, who happened to be walking by. I missed the exact amount, but it was close to $1k. Not bad, seeing as he wasn't trained at all!
Lucy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
To show how happy he is that he's now the only dog around, Biscuit tries to eat Lucy.
I think she likes it.
Lucy: I picked my brains out!!
House time!
It's on the same lot as before, but I just didn't like the old design any more.
Here's the attic, which will store all those career rewards not in use. If necessary, I'll add stairs, but I doubt I'll need to.
Third floor is the entertainment floor, with bowling, assorted musical instruments, exercise gear, karaoke, etc.
Bedrooms galore! Plus a computer nook and large deck.
Master bed and bath, nursery, lounge, playpen, kitchen, dining and a second master for the old folks.
They ran out of money, so it's not fully decorated at this point.
Out the back is a mausoleum to hold the urns. I wanted a place to hang the portraits properly, and thought this worked much better. Though it does seem somewhat morbid hanging the portraits of the living up in there!
I don't like overly decorated spaces, mostly because I look at things from the POV of taking pictures. But I still like it to look pretty.
I'm not the best at building and designing by any means, but I think it looks pretty!
And down the side is a soccer net and sauna. They've pretty much got all their needs covered!
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