Oh Geez... We're A Mess
1. I have absolutely no idea where my bag is.
2. I am wearing pieces of other people’s costumes, including a pair of wings.
3. I've suddenly decided I want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe I could do it too. ("bitch...i ain't playin'...)
4. In my last trip to "pee" I realize I now look more like Lily Savage than the goddess I was just four hours ago.
5. I drop my 3:00 a.m. Plucker's wings on the floor (which I'm eating even though I'm not the least bit hungry), pick it up and carry on eating it.
6. I start crying and telling everyone I see that I love them sooooo much.
7. There are less than three hours before I'm due to start work or enter the class room.
8. I can't seem to stop making phone calls (and text messages) to people I haven't talked to in years.
9. The man I'm flirting with used to be my biology teacher.
10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing or dance becomes strangely overwhelming.
11. My eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so I keep them half closed and think it looks exotically sexy.
12. I've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.
13. I yell at the bartender, who (I think) cheated me by giving me just cranberry juice, but that's just because I can no longer taste the vodka.
14. I think I'm in bed, but my pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor.
15. I start every conversation with a booming, "DON'T take this the WRONG WAY but..."
16. I fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when I sit on it.
17. My hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.
18. Boys you would never be attracted to seem to look amazingly hot... and you might end up kissing one or two or three.
19. I begin leaving the buttons open on my button fly pants to cut down on the time I'm in the bathroom away from my drink.
20. I take my shoes off because I believe it's their fault that I'm having problems walking straight.
21. I have absolutely no idea where my phone is (or I've broken it).
22. I think that it is hot and seductive to dance on a table/stage while singing to Bon Jovi
23. I am making out on the E bus or am hitting on my cab driver without thinking twice.
24. I decide to pick up an orange construction cone somewhere on 24th street and am now carrying it around as “prop.”
25. I can't distinguish my car key from my house key, but I think it's a good idea to drive.
26. I start my conversations with a story about something stupid I just did because I am so drunk.
27. I'm tired so I just sit on the floor (wherever I happen to be standing) and take a quick nap.
28. I get my ATM pin code and apartment gate code confused. I later try to use my ATM card to get into the parking garage.
Teresa please take note of numbers 10, 11, 12, 22
Lindsey please take note of numbers 1, 9, 10, 12, 13, 18, 20, 22, 28
Krista please take note of numbers 2, 3, 12, 17, 20, 22, 27
And while you're at that... I'll take another look at numbers 5, 6, 8, 12, 15, 18, 20, 21, 22, 25, 26
2. I am wearing pieces of other people’s costumes, including a pair of wings.
3. I've suddenly decided I want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe I could do it too. ("bitch...i ain't playin'...)
4. In my last trip to "pee" I realize I now look more like Lily Savage than the goddess I was just four hours ago.
5. I drop my 3:00 a.m. Plucker's wings on the floor (which I'm eating even though I'm not the least bit hungry), pick it up and carry on eating it.
6. I start crying and telling everyone I see that I love them sooooo much.
7. There are less than three hours before I'm due to start work or enter the class room.
8. I can't seem to stop making phone calls (and text messages) to people I haven't talked to in years.
9. The man I'm flirting with used to be my biology teacher.
10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing or dance becomes strangely overwhelming.
11. My eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so I keep them half closed and think it looks exotically sexy.
12. I've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.
13. I yell at the bartender, who (I think) cheated me by giving me just cranberry juice, but that's just because I can no longer taste the vodka.
14. I think I'm in bed, but my pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor.
15. I start every conversation with a booming, "DON'T take this the WRONG WAY but..."
16. I fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when I sit on it.
17. My hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.
18. Boys you would never be attracted to seem to look amazingly hot... and you might end up kissing one or two or three.
19. I begin leaving the buttons open on my button fly pants to cut down on the time I'm in the bathroom away from my drink.
20. I take my shoes off because I believe it's their fault that I'm having problems walking straight.
21. I have absolutely no idea where my phone is (or I've broken it).
22. I think that it is hot and seductive to dance on a table/stage while singing to Bon Jovi
23. I am making out on the E bus or am hitting on my cab driver without thinking twice.
24. I decide to pick up an orange construction cone somewhere on 24th street and am now carrying it around as “prop.”
25. I can't distinguish my car key from my house key, but I think it's a good idea to drive.
26. I start my conversations with a story about something stupid I just did because I am so drunk.
27. I'm tired so I just sit on the floor (wherever I happen to be standing) and take a quick nap.
28. I get my ATM pin code and apartment gate code confused. I later try to use my ATM card to get into the parking garage.
Teresa please take note of numbers 10, 11, 12, 22
Lindsey please take note of numbers 1, 9, 10, 12, 13, 18, 20, 22, 28
Krista please take note of numbers 2, 3, 12, 17, 20, 22, 27
And while you're at that... I'll take another look at numbers 5, 6, 8, 12, 15, 18, 20, 21, 22, 25, 26