The Loop
Remember that episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation where the Enterprise got caught in a temporal distortion loop? They kept re-living the same day over and over again and the only reason they realized it was because Geordi's VISOR was receiving temporal "flashes" that were actually pieces of information from the previous loop and they were able to send a message into the next loop so that Data would be able to alter his decision to allow them to escape the loop?
Of course you don't. I'm the nerd, remember? You don't even WATCH Star Trek! You watch worthless shit like Will and Grace and Gilmore Girls and (shudder) The OC! :)
Seriously, though, I think that life is similar to this episode of Star Trek. We just keep going through the same experiences and the same shit keeps happening and we have to suffer through it until we finish our "loop" and then we just start it over.
(Okay, what about that Stargate SG-1 episode where Jack and Teal'c get caught re-living the same 10 hours over and over again because that mad scientist was using the Stargate dialing programs on 14 different gates to activate a time machine device to go back in time to save his wife, but the machine would only work in 10 hour intervals so it was...never mind.)
Because I decided to pursue interests in...well, the above subject matter, I was not popular in school. Combine this with the fact that I had very little athletic ability and my looks were average to sub-par AND I chose to spend my evenings studying instead of drinking mass quantities of alcohol and fucking the nearest skank I could find. Yeah, I graduated near the top of my class and got into a good college, where I was told by my friends, family, and teachers that "life would get better" and "people would be different" and they "wouldn't judge me on superficial things."
So I go off to college with my fresh start. And yes, I'm not denying the fact that I made many wonderful friends and things WERE different than in Villa Grove. But MANY similarities crept in as well. I'd restarted my loop, to put it nerd-ish-ly. Every time I would discuss one of my interests (Sci-fi, Illinois sports, etc.) people would give me "that look." (Jesus Christ, I hate "that look.") Why would someone waste their time caring about that stuff when there's so much more "important" stuff to care about. Hell, I think the only reason I made so many meaningful relationships is that we shared a love for music (and in some cases, teaching) that they could overlook the other things. (But there was always "the look.")
So, fast-forward now to my first year of teaching. Restarting the loop once again. I get into two good school districts and I feel like I have ANOTHER fresh start. And at first, things seem pretty good. Sure, the kids are bastards and you spend every day wanting to beat them senseless with a blunt object, but that's part of the first year experience! :) The faculty treat me pretty well, I make some friends both at the school and at my church. I'm the "new guy," so everybody treats me like that. Whatever oddities he may have, we'll get used to! He's NEW!
But the year is almost over. I'm not new anymore. And now, "the look" has returned. And it's just like it was back in high school. The faculty will only respond to me if they HAVE to. I can see them giving each other "the look" when they think I'M not looking. The other male teachers make comments about me being a choir director. "He must be a fag because he's in music and he's single!" "I wonder why he chose a woman's profession?" And on and on and on again until I reset the loop again.
We're all doomed to one existence. Choose the right one or your life will be a permanent hell, over and over and over...
Of course you don't. I'm the nerd, remember? You don't even WATCH Star Trek! You watch worthless shit like Will and Grace and Gilmore Girls and (shudder) The OC! :)
Seriously, though, I think that life is similar to this episode of Star Trek. We just keep going through the same experiences and the same shit keeps happening and we have to suffer through it until we finish our "loop" and then we just start it over.
(Okay, what about that Stargate SG-1 episode where Jack and Teal'c get caught re-living the same 10 hours over and over again because that mad scientist was using the Stargate dialing programs on 14 different gates to activate a time machine device to go back in time to save his wife, but the machine would only work in 10 hour intervals so it was...never mind.)
Because I decided to pursue interests in...well, the above subject matter, I was not popular in school. Combine this with the fact that I had very little athletic ability and my looks were average to sub-par AND I chose to spend my evenings studying instead of drinking mass quantities of alcohol and fucking the nearest skank I could find. Yeah, I graduated near the top of my class and got into a good college, where I was told by my friends, family, and teachers that "life would get better" and "people would be different" and they "wouldn't judge me on superficial things."
So I go off to college with my fresh start. And yes, I'm not denying the fact that I made many wonderful friends and things WERE different than in Villa Grove. But MANY similarities crept in as well. I'd restarted my loop, to put it nerd-ish-ly. Every time I would discuss one of my interests (Sci-fi, Illinois sports, etc.) people would give me "that look." (Jesus Christ, I hate "that look.") Why would someone waste their time caring about that stuff when there's so much more "important" stuff to care about. Hell, I think the only reason I made so many meaningful relationships is that we shared a love for music (and in some cases, teaching) that they could overlook the other things. (But there was always "the look.")
So, fast-forward now to my first year of teaching. Restarting the loop once again. I get into two good school districts and I feel like I have ANOTHER fresh start. And at first, things seem pretty good. Sure, the kids are bastards and you spend every day wanting to beat them senseless with a blunt object, but that's part of the first year experience! :) The faculty treat me pretty well, I make some friends both at the school and at my church. I'm the "new guy," so everybody treats me like that. Whatever oddities he may have, we'll get used to! He's NEW!
But the year is almost over. I'm not new anymore. And now, "the look" has returned. And it's just like it was back in high school. The faculty will only respond to me if they HAVE to. I can see them giving each other "the look" when they think I'M not looking. The other male teachers make comments about me being a choir director. "He must be a fag because he's in music and he's single!" "I wonder why he chose a woman's profession?" And on and on and on again until I reset the loop again.
We're all doomed to one existence. Choose the right one or your life will be a permanent hell, over and over and over...