SV Fic: time and space in a lonely place
A part of her wonders if she's insane, if she has finally lost her mind like she once thought she would after she learned about her mother. Chloe-centric (Chloe/Clark, Chloe/Davis). Pg. Angst. 1400 words. "Beast" spoilers.
&
A part of her wonders if she’s insane, if she has finally lost her mind like she once thought she would after she learned about her mother, all those years ago. There’s a monster in her basement, a killer, and she is harboring him.
Chloe questions her sanity, her choices, what she has done up until this point. There is blood on her hands, staining still despite having scrubbed her hands with hot water and soap more times than she can count. The blood remains, invisible to the world, but so real to her, and she wonders about her choices, reconsiders.
But then she wakes from her nightmare, the image of Clark dead embedded in her mind. A sob escapes her throat as she tries to catch her breathing, her breaths rapid and uneven from what she has seen. The image of Clark, dead and bloodied, his skin the color of death, doesn’t fade.
“No,” she whispers. “No, please, no.”
Chloe repeats these words, a litany of sort, the offering of words in an almost prayer except she has no belief in an abstract being known as “God”. Her nightmare contained what she feared might happen, the death she can’t let happen. This can never be a reality: Chloe would rather die than to one day stumble upon Clark’s body, already growing cold.
If he died, she would never forgive herself. There would be no possibility for forgiveness if he died, if she failed to prevent her nightmare from becoming reality.
“I would die before I’d ever betray you,” she once told Clark, on a night after he was infected with silver kryptonite.
That statement fails to encompass the whole truth, the one her heart knows. If she had someone to say it to, she would say, “I would die before I’d let someone harm you.”
But right now Chloe has no one to say that to: she is alone. This is the path she has chosen, for better or for worse, and she is convinced it’s for the better. It is the only way she knows how to save Clark.
In the end, it is about him.
It always is.
&
Where did it all begin? One day someone might ask that question, attempting to chronicle how this all happened. There is a desire to understand, innate in humanity.
What would be the answer? Is there one?
Chloe knows there is.
It began years ago on a bright sunny day. That was their beginning, the first time they met, the first time they connected and it was on a level of shared loneliness. They each wanted a friend. Without this event, none of what happened might have occurred. The present most certainly would have been altered, because the past is what determines the present and the future. Without the past, the present and future cannot exist.
Maybe the chronicler would ask, “Why did you do it?”
And Chloe would have to say, “How could I not?”
Was there a choice? A real choice? Did she have an option beyond trying to save Davis to save Clark?
The final analysis’s answer would probably depend on who assessed the situation, the facts they took into consideration. What Chloe knows is simple: she has never been able to let Clark go.
Her history with Clark is long, somewhat complicated, and what has happened the present situation she finds herself in. She has loved him since she was thirteen, a love that has evolved through the years. She has been hurt by him, and has hurt him, in a cycle that has repeated itself more than once. They have lied to each other, Clark about his alien nature, Chloe about her deal with Lionel, along with all the other lies they told each other once upon a time. Now there are her lies about Davis, the fact that she hid him, her reasons for this, all a secret. Clark has rejected her, not loved her the way she has loved him, and even that she has gotten over. Key, though, is that she has never gotten over him. There is a part of her that belongs to him, forever and even then some.
In the end, it all comes down to Clark. Clark is the hero, the savior humanity needs, and she loves him. Loved him yesterday and loves him today and will love him tomorrow; this is a constant love, one that changes, but is constant nevertheless.
So if the question asked is, “Why did you do it?” then her answer will be, “Who could I not? It was Clark.”
What more is needed to explain? Each action has a motivation and her is, and will always be, Clark. He is the hero and she loves him. Simple as that.
&
Her head begins to spin as she listens to Davis, as he tells her how close to the edge he is. Those aren’t the words he uses, but this is what he means. Her head spins and her chest feels tight because she didn’t want it to come to this, yet she’s out of options it seems, unless Dr. Hamilton comes through.
If not, then there is only one way to save Clark. Only one way and it pains her to do this, but she must.
So Chloe says they should run away and it feels like a fist is closing around her heart as Davis nods and is thankful. He thinks her actions are all for him, and she feeds this delusion, allowing it to grow, like watering a weed. What she is doing is dangerous, but what choice does she have?
The options are few, and none have cheery endings. Even if Davis is cured, there is still the trouble of the accusations of him being a serial killer, the proof Tess has gathered. If Davis isn’t cured, the ending is even bleaker, one that involves a death, and possibly not even Davis’s. Clark could die, but even if he did win in a battle, he would still be destroyed.
Chloe can’t let Clark kill Davis. Clark is her light, a beckon of hope for humanity, and she doesn’t want him drawn into the darkness. She can’t let this happen and she can save Clark from this fate. For once, she can truly save Clark and she will. In a way, this will be her gift to humanity. This is something she can give and she will, regardless of the personal costs she must bear as a result. Those costs are meaningless in the end.
Her mind is made up. The choice hurts, but it is for the best.
“We can leave by sunset,” she says to Davis. He smiles, utterly content with what is happening, and the truth of it all pains her.
She feels again the sensation that there is a fist squeezing her heart, yet she has made her choice and she is committed to it.
This is what she has chosen.
&
Darkness blankets the land as she dials the familiar number, unable to resist the final goodbye. There was no option other than leaving and she knows this is the best choice, with right and wrong not factoring into her decision.
What’s best is that she protects Clark.
“I’m protecting you. I meant what I said,” she says to him, tears stinging her eyes. He thinks it’s about Davis, but it has never been.
People might think her a fool for what she’s willing to do, what she is willing to sacrifice for Clark. But they wouldn’t understand, couldn’t understand what she feels, what she knows drives her. Clark is a hero and the world needs him, just like she needs him, and she could never make a choice that she didn’t think would lead to her protecting him.
She hasn’t saved him before, not in a real way. This time around she can, and she will, because the other options are simply not viable. Things have to be this way.
“Listen to me, this is your life we’re talking about. Don’t do this,” Clark says, and the desperation is clear in his voice. Chloe can hear it and the fist she has felt tightens some more, but this is what she must do.
One day he will understand. One day.
“Clark, if there’s one lesson I’ve learned from you, it’s that choosing the greater good is never a sacrifice.”
He doesn’t believe her, unsurprising, but she has made her choice.
She wipes away the tears and turns to face Davis.
&
End.
&
A part of her wonders if she’s insane, if she has finally lost her mind like she once thought she would after she learned about her mother, all those years ago. There’s a monster in her basement, a killer, and she is harboring him.
Chloe questions her sanity, her choices, what she has done up until this point. There is blood on her hands, staining still despite having scrubbed her hands with hot water and soap more times than she can count. The blood remains, invisible to the world, but so real to her, and she wonders about her choices, reconsiders.
But then she wakes from her nightmare, the image of Clark dead embedded in her mind. A sob escapes her throat as she tries to catch her breathing, her breaths rapid and uneven from what she has seen. The image of Clark, dead and bloodied, his skin the color of death, doesn’t fade.
“No,” she whispers. “No, please, no.”
Chloe repeats these words, a litany of sort, the offering of words in an almost prayer except she has no belief in an abstract being known as “God”. Her nightmare contained what she feared might happen, the death she can’t let happen. This can never be a reality: Chloe would rather die than to one day stumble upon Clark’s body, already growing cold.
If he died, she would never forgive herself. There would be no possibility for forgiveness if he died, if she failed to prevent her nightmare from becoming reality.
“I would die before I’d ever betray you,” she once told Clark, on a night after he was infected with silver kryptonite.
That statement fails to encompass the whole truth, the one her heart knows. If she had someone to say it to, she would say, “I would die before I’d let someone harm you.”
But right now Chloe has no one to say that to: she is alone. This is the path she has chosen, for better or for worse, and she is convinced it’s for the better. It is the only way she knows how to save Clark.
In the end, it is about him.
It always is.
&
Where did it all begin? One day someone might ask that question, attempting to chronicle how this all happened. There is a desire to understand, innate in humanity.
What would be the answer? Is there one?
Chloe knows there is.
It began years ago on a bright sunny day. That was their beginning, the first time they met, the first time they connected and it was on a level of shared loneliness. They each wanted a friend. Without this event, none of what happened might have occurred. The present most certainly would have been altered, because the past is what determines the present and the future. Without the past, the present and future cannot exist.
Maybe the chronicler would ask, “Why did you do it?”
And Chloe would have to say, “How could I not?”
Was there a choice? A real choice? Did she have an option beyond trying to save Davis to save Clark?
The final analysis’s answer would probably depend on who assessed the situation, the facts they took into consideration. What Chloe knows is simple: she has never been able to let Clark go.
Her history with Clark is long, somewhat complicated, and what has happened the present situation she finds herself in. She has loved him since she was thirteen, a love that has evolved through the years. She has been hurt by him, and has hurt him, in a cycle that has repeated itself more than once. They have lied to each other, Clark about his alien nature, Chloe about her deal with Lionel, along with all the other lies they told each other once upon a time. Now there are her lies about Davis, the fact that she hid him, her reasons for this, all a secret. Clark has rejected her, not loved her the way she has loved him, and even that she has gotten over. Key, though, is that she has never gotten over him. There is a part of her that belongs to him, forever and even then some.
In the end, it all comes down to Clark. Clark is the hero, the savior humanity needs, and she loves him. Loved him yesterday and loves him today and will love him tomorrow; this is a constant love, one that changes, but is constant nevertheless.
So if the question asked is, “Why did you do it?” then her answer will be, “Who could I not? It was Clark.”
What more is needed to explain? Each action has a motivation and her is, and will always be, Clark. He is the hero and she loves him. Simple as that.
&
Her head begins to spin as she listens to Davis, as he tells her how close to the edge he is. Those aren’t the words he uses, but this is what he means. Her head spins and her chest feels tight because she didn’t want it to come to this, yet she’s out of options it seems, unless Dr. Hamilton comes through.
If not, then there is only one way to save Clark. Only one way and it pains her to do this, but she must.
So Chloe says they should run away and it feels like a fist is closing around her heart as Davis nods and is thankful. He thinks her actions are all for him, and she feeds this delusion, allowing it to grow, like watering a weed. What she is doing is dangerous, but what choice does she have?
The options are few, and none have cheery endings. Even if Davis is cured, there is still the trouble of the accusations of him being a serial killer, the proof Tess has gathered. If Davis isn’t cured, the ending is even bleaker, one that involves a death, and possibly not even Davis’s. Clark could die, but even if he did win in a battle, he would still be destroyed.
Chloe can’t let Clark kill Davis. Clark is her light, a beckon of hope for humanity, and she doesn’t want him drawn into the darkness. She can’t let this happen and she can save Clark from this fate. For once, she can truly save Clark and she will. In a way, this will be her gift to humanity. This is something she can give and she will, regardless of the personal costs she must bear as a result. Those costs are meaningless in the end.
Her mind is made up. The choice hurts, but it is for the best.
“We can leave by sunset,” she says to Davis. He smiles, utterly content with what is happening, and the truth of it all pains her.
She feels again the sensation that there is a fist squeezing her heart, yet she has made her choice and she is committed to it.
This is what she has chosen.
&
Darkness blankets the land as she dials the familiar number, unable to resist the final goodbye. There was no option other than leaving and she knows this is the best choice, with right and wrong not factoring into her decision.
What’s best is that she protects Clark.
“I’m protecting you. I meant what I said,” she says to him, tears stinging her eyes. He thinks it’s about Davis, but it has never been.
People might think her a fool for what she’s willing to do, what she is willing to sacrifice for Clark. But they wouldn’t understand, couldn’t understand what she feels, what she knows drives her. Clark is a hero and the world needs him, just like she needs him, and she could never make a choice that she didn’t think would lead to her protecting him.
She hasn’t saved him before, not in a real way. This time around she can, and she will, because the other options are simply not viable. Things have to be this way.
“Listen to me, this is your life we’re talking about. Don’t do this,” Clark says, and the desperation is clear in his voice. Chloe can hear it and the fist she has felt tightens some more, but this is what she must do.
One day he will understand. One day.
“Clark, if there’s one lesson I’ve learned from you, it’s that choosing the greater good is never a sacrifice.”
He doesn’t believe her, unsurprising, but she has made her choice.
She wipes away the tears and turns to face Davis.
&
End.