sv fic: fight club
This is for writrgurl. She wanted a crack!fic with Jimmy fighting Oliver over Lois. It's not quite as cracky as I would have liked, but it does have everything else.
It was a cold and rainy night in the dead of winter. Inside the Ace of Clubs bar it was warm, perhaps a touch too warm. The place wasn’t too busy, so the heat was likely intentional to get people to order more cold drinks on this cold and stormy night.
The heat beginning to get to her, Lois causally slipped her sweater from her shoulders. Arms now bare, she picked up her drink, smiling slightly at the slightly dazed look on Jimmy’s face. He tugged a bit at his collar, opening the top two buttons, revealing a pale upper chest that Lois could easily imagine kissing in the near future.
“Like what you see?” she asked teasingly.
Jimmy gulped, just a bit. Then he said, “You know I do.”
“Then I guess it’s good you’re here with me.”
“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else right now. This is exactly where I want to be at this moment.”
“I know the feeling.”
Lois raised her glass and Jimmy mimicked her gesture. They let their glasses clink before taking sips. Their eyes were locked the entire time. They sipped in silence for a few moments, the silence companionable and easy.
Gathering her courage, Lois set down her glass and shifted in the booth she and Jimmy were seated in. She moved closer to him, until their bodies were touching. They turned slightly to face each other.
“Hi,” Jimmy said softly.
“Hi,” Lois said. Her voice was just as soft.
A kiss was on the horizon. Lois could feel it, just like she could see the too-high heat in the bar. She leaned forward, tilting her head down a bit to meet Jimmy’s lips. Before her lips touched Jimmy’s though, she was pulled away, a hand on her arm tugging her out of the booth.
“Hey!” she exclaimed. She looked up to see Oliver’s angry face staring at her. “What the hell are you doing?”
“I’m saving you!” Oliver declared.
Jimmy was out of the booth by now and was pushing at Oliver’s arm, the arm connected to the hand wrapped around her bicep. Oliver glared at Jimmy and used his free hand to push at Jimmy’s chest. Oliver pushed hard enough to make Jimmy fall to the ground, and Lois watched as he tumbled towards the ground.
“She doesn’t need your saving,” Jimmy yelled as he fell to the ground. He hit it with a thud, making Lois gasp and worry. “She can make decisions just fine for herself.”
“You’re no good for her.”
“And you’re better?” Jimmy retorted.
“Oh I’m way better. My kung-fu is so much better than yours.”
“You’ve never seen my kung-fu. You have no clue if yours is better. And for the record, I’m the kung-fu master. You wouldn’t win against me.”
Oliver laughed. “I could totally take you.”
“You just keeping tell yourself that,” Jimmy said as he rose from the ground. He pushed up the sleeves of his shirt and raised his fists.
“You’re a little nerd. My eight year-old self could have beaten you up.”
Jimmy glared at Oliver. Oliver glared at Jimmy. They continue to glare, the glaring turning into what Lois could only think of as a staring contest. Here Oliver and Jimmy were, two grown men in the middle of a bar, one gripping her arm tightly, and they were having a staring contest. They were eight and she was the toy they were fighting over. Grown men having a staring contest in the middle of a bar where they hadn’t been kicked out of yet for causing a disturbance.
It was official: Lois had entered bizarro world. Even more bizarre, to her, was her passivity. The exchange between Jimmy and Oliver had rendered her speechless, frozen in spot, and their staring contest wasn’t helping her escape this frozen, silent state.
Then Oliver blinked and Jimmy exclaimed, “I win!” and suddenly she could move and speak again. She pushed at Oliver with her spare hand, causing him to let her go. She continued to push and he lost his balance, falling to the ground with a thud.
“First, I’m a big girl. I get to decide who I date or not,” she said to Oliver, glaring down at him. “I don’t need to be saved. And if I needed to be saved, well, I would do the saving myself. Got it?”
Oliver nodded mutely.
Lois turned to Jimmy. “You’ll get a lecture later.” She grabbed his arm, gently though, and pulled him away. “We’re leaving.”
She grabbed her bag, her sweater, her coat, Jimmy’s coat, and laid down the twenty Jimmy had the sense to hand her. Stuff gathered, she pulled Jimmy away from the bar. Oliver was still on the ground, still acting like a stunned little boy who couldn’t believe he had lost.
Outside, it was just as dark and stormy and cold as Lois remembered. As they put on their coats, she said, “Never fight over me again.”
“I won’t,” Jimmy promised meekly.
“You were hot defending my honor,” Lois conceded, smiling devilishly. She pulled him by the lapels towards her and kissed the life out of him. Not the literal life, of course, since she had plans for him later on tonight.
They parted and then headed out into the stormy night, towards her plans for the rest of the evening.
It was a cold and rainy night in the dead of winter. Inside the Ace of Clubs bar it was warm, perhaps a touch too warm. The place wasn’t too busy, so the heat was likely intentional to get people to order more cold drinks on this cold and stormy night.
The heat beginning to get to her, Lois causally slipped her sweater from her shoulders. Arms now bare, she picked up her drink, smiling slightly at the slightly dazed look on Jimmy’s face. He tugged a bit at his collar, opening the top two buttons, revealing a pale upper chest that Lois could easily imagine kissing in the near future.
“Like what you see?” she asked teasingly.
Jimmy gulped, just a bit. Then he said, “You know I do.”
“Then I guess it’s good you’re here with me.”
“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else right now. This is exactly where I want to be at this moment.”
“I know the feeling.”
Lois raised her glass and Jimmy mimicked her gesture. They let their glasses clink before taking sips. Their eyes were locked the entire time. They sipped in silence for a few moments, the silence companionable and easy.
Gathering her courage, Lois set down her glass and shifted in the booth she and Jimmy were seated in. She moved closer to him, until their bodies were touching. They turned slightly to face each other.
“Hi,” Jimmy said softly.
“Hi,” Lois said. Her voice was just as soft.
A kiss was on the horizon. Lois could feel it, just like she could see the too-high heat in the bar. She leaned forward, tilting her head down a bit to meet Jimmy’s lips. Before her lips touched Jimmy’s though, she was pulled away, a hand on her arm tugging her out of the booth.
“Hey!” she exclaimed. She looked up to see Oliver’s angry face staring at her. “What the hell are you doing?”
“I’m saving you!” Oliver declared.
Jimmy was out of the booth by now and was pushing at Oliver’s arm, the arm connected to the hand wrapped around her bicep. Oliver glared at Jimmy and used his free hand to push at Jimmy’s chest. Oliver pushed hard enough to make Jimmy fall to the ground, and Lois watched as he tumbled towards the ground.
“She doesn’t need your saving,” Jimmy yelled as he fell to the ground. He hit it with a thud, making Lois gasp and worry. “She can make decisions just fine for herself.”
“You’re no good for her.”
“And you’re better?” Jimmy retorted.
“Oh I’m way better. My kung-fu is so much better than yours.”
“You’ve never seen my kung-fu. You have no clue if yours is better. And for the record, I’m the kung-fu master. You wouldn’t win against me.”
Oliver laughed. “I could totally take you.”
“You just keeping tell yourself that,” Jimmy said as he rose from the ground. He pushed up the sleeves of his shirt and raised his fists.
“You’re a little nerd. My eight year-old self could have beaten you up.”
Jimmy glared at Oliver. Oliver glared at Jimmy. They continue to glare, the glaring turning into what Lois could only think of as a staring contest. Here Oliver and Jimmy were, two grown men in the middle of a bar, one gripping her arm tightly, and they were having a staring contest. They were eight and she was the toy they were fighting over. Grown men having a staring contest in the middle of a bar where they hadn’t been kicked out of yet for causing a disturbance.
It was official: Lois had entered bizarro world. Even more bizarre, to her, was her passivity. The exchange between Jimmy and Oliver had rendered her speechless, frozen in spot, and their staring contest wasn’t helping her escape this frozen, silent state.
Then Oliver blinked and Jimmy exclaimed, “I win!” and suddenly she could move and speak again. She pushed at Oliver with her spare hand, causing him to let her go. She continued to push and he lost his balance, falling to the ground with a thud.
“First, I’m a big girl. I get to decide who I date or not,” she said to Oliver, glaring down at him. “I don’t need to be saved. And if I needed to be saved, well, I would do the saving myself. Got it?”
Oliver nodded mutely.
Lois turned to Jimmy. “You’ll get a lecture later.” She grabbed his arm, gently though, and pulled him away. “We’re leaving.”
She grabbed her bag, her sweater, her coat, Jimmy’s coat, and laid down the twenty Jimmy had the sense to hand her. Stuff gathered, she pulled Jimmy away from the bar. Oliver was still on the ground, still acting like a stunned little boy who couldn’t believe he had lost.
Outside, it was just as dark and stormy and cold as Lois remembered. As they put on their coats, she said, “Never fight over me again.”
“I won’t,” Jimmy promised meekly.
“You were hot defending my honor,” Lois conceded, smiling devilishly. She pulled him by the lapels towards her and kissed the life out of him. Not the literal life, of course, since she had plans for him later on tonight.
They parted and then headed out into the stormy night, towards her plans for the rest of the evening.