No Other Choice, Chapter 1/6
Title: No Other Choice
Author: SimplyShanni
Beta: None. All mistakes are mine and mine alone.
Disclaimer: This is a work of pure fiction. It has been written solely for fun, not for profit. No disrespect is meant to the actual individuals represented here and I make no claims about their sexual orientation in real life.
Pairing: Orlibean
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Romance and a bit of Schmoop
Summary: Something is very wrong with Sean. He hasn't been himself since returning to New Zealand after Christmas break.
Warnings: Chapter 1 contains Minor Language.
Rating: Ranges between PG and Hard R. Please do not read this story if you are under the age of 18! This chapter will be PG.
Author's Note: This story takes place in mid-February of 2000, during the filming of Fellowship of the Ring. In this chapter, I make reference to the age of Sean's youngest daughter, Evie, which I guessed to be around two years old at that time. If anyone knows differently, please let me know and I will be happy to change it. I would also be interested in learning the name of the girlfriend whom Orlando broke up with when she came to visit him in New Zealand. I've used the name 'Jessica', since I've read it in a few other fics, but if anyone knows her actual name, I would really appreciate the information. Thanks in advance and sorry for any inaccuracies!
Chapter 1/6
A Rough Day At Work
The door to the small trailer, which had been jokingly christened the Cuntebago, slammed shut quite forcefully behind the beautiful young man in Elven garb. For nearly a solid minute he stood there fuming, practically vibrating with suppressed outrage. Seeking a release for his stormy emotions, he began to pace back and forth through the confined area. The physical activity should have helped, but frustration over the lack of space only succeeded in adding to the turmoil going on inside of him. Giving it up as worse than useless, he threw himself down on the couch, drew up his knees and wrapped his arms around them defensively.
"Blimey, what an arse!" Orlando growled, his normally honeyed tones roughened by equal measures of hurt and anger. Since he also shared this trailer with Viggo, as well as Sean, the aforementioned 'arse', he knew this probably wasn't the wisest place to come and lick his wounds. Well, wounded pride, anyway, because Sean had really done no more than give him a rather forceful shove. That the older man had also been the one to quickly grab him by the shoulders and prevent him from falling backwards was neither here nor there. The decidedly scathing dressing down that he'd received from the handsome blonde after finally regaining his balance hadn't exactly left Orlando in the mood to forgive and forget so easily.
"What did I do that was so wrong, after all?" he asked the empty trailer dejectedly. So what if he'd obliviously interrupted the talk going on between Sean and Viggo, clumsily jostling into them as he attempted to wrap himself around Sean like a clinging vine. Not realizing that Sean's temper was on a hair trigger, he'd playfully begged him for protection from Dom, who was closing in rapidly, bent on revenge for the hot sauce that had been slipped into his tea. Was that any reason for Sean to throw off his arms and give him a more-than-solid shove in the chest that nearly sent him toppling? Acting on instinct, the man had immediately reached out to steady him, and Orlando had read a momentary flash of regret in the darkened green eyes, as if he hadn't meant to push so hard. Orli had grinned sheepishly and tried to apologize, but it was a dismal failure. Brow puckering into a dark scowl, Sean had gone out of his way to deliver a short but blistering lecture that left him feeling all of two years old, not to mention two feet tall!
Every word was burned into his memory like a permanent brand. 'Dammit all to bleedin' hell, Orlando! Why must ye always go about with yer head in the clouds? Will ye never grow oop? Vig 'n I were in the middle of a serious discussion, but did ye take the time tah notice tha'? Nay, o' course not! As usual, ye were too wrapped oop in yer own little world tah see what were goin' on right in front o' ye. Well, let me make it perfectly clear, so tha' this time, ye cannot fail tah understand. I want you an' Dominic tah take this silly game o' chase elsewhere. Now!'
The unusually strong Sheffield accent had made Sean's extreme annoyance frighteningly obvious. For an agonized moment, Orli had done nothing but stare back at him, his accusing eyes clearly conveying painful resentment as humiliation settled in his gut like a stone. Dom, wily Hobbit that he was, had barely spared him a sympathetic grimace, then quickly hightailed it out of there before Bean could turn the rough edge of his tongue on him. Viggo, obviously puzzled and surprised by such an unusual outburst from his normally stoic friend, had frowned disapprovingly at the still-seething Yorkshireman before focusing his compassionate gaze on Orlando. When the Ranger had tried to place a soothing hand on his shoulder, however, it seemed to release him from his paralyzed spell of embarrassment and he'd broken away, running like the wind to the sanctuary of the Cuntebago.
Which is where he was currently located, curled into the corner of the lumpy couch as he tried to figure out what the hell had just happened. And, more importantly, why? Because for the life of him, he could come up with no legitimate reason for Sean's unnecessarily harsh behavior. The entire incident was inexplicable and it had left him reeling from an acute sense of mortified betrayal. Actually, it felt almost as if a trusted family pet had suddenly turned on him with no real provocation and taken a chunk out of his arm.
A rueful snort shattered the oppressive silence of the trailer as he imagined Sean's reaction to being compared with a fractious family dog. He would most likely not be best pleased, but Orlando found that he could hardly care less about that right now. His little moment of bitter humor had actually helped to calm him down, at least enough so that he could regain a bit of perspective. Logically, he knew that there must be a serious problem for Sean to lose his temper like that in the first place. Shaking his head, Orli released a heavy sigh as he realized that, despite his own bruised ego, the strongest emotion he was feeling right now was still worry for his friend.
Ever since they'd all returned from Christmas break in early January, Sean had not been himself. Gone was the patient, caring man always willing to stay up and talk all night, to join in on a practical joke or to simply share some Guinness as they watched a football match together. In his place was a virtual stranger. Touchy. Snappy. Distant. As if he were making it a point to avoid everyone, with the occasional exception of Viggo. And that was another thing that had been bothering Orlando lately. The two Men of Gondor appeared to have grown much closer since filming had resumed, and though he honestly didn't begrudge them their deepening friendship, neither was he used to Sean shutting him out in the cold.
Before they'd all left to go home for the holidays, he and Sean had gotten quite tight. Become confidants, really. The older man had even helped him through a painful breakup with his long-term girlfriend when she had come to New Zealand for an ill-fated visit. It was just after 'The Great Jessica Debacle', as he'd taken to calling it, that the two of them had managed to get themselves stranded between landslides on the way to a location shoot in Queenstown. In spite of the dangers and stress of their little three day adventure, it had only served to bond them even closer. Once back in civilization, they had continued to seek out each other's company. Countless evenings had been spent together, practicing their lines, working out the details for upcoming scenes, or simply sharing what was going on in their day-to-day lives. It was during this time that Sean's personal concerns had seemed to focus almost exclusively on the trouble he was having with his soon-to-be ex-wife. Though he never went into specific details, he had always been quite open about his marital woes, which, if Orlando had to make a guess, were probably the source of all the present trouble.
He knew that Sean had finalized his divorce proceedings while he was back in England, and he also knew that it had not been an amicable ending. From all of their frequent talks, Orlando had gained the impression that, towards the end of his marriage, Sean's wife, Abigail, had become a rather nasty, manipulative bitch. Knowing this, he was quite certain that the vengeful woman had made it as difficult and agonizing for Sean as she possibly could. He only hoped that she hadn't tried to legally keep him away from Evie, their one year old daughter. The precious little toddler was the light of Sean's life, as were his two older girls, Lorna and Molly, from his second marriage.
For all that his career took him thither and yon, Sean was a devoted and loving father, so the possibility of custody issues over Evie might be one reason for his standoffishness and extreme irascibility. The problem was, since Sean no longer talked to him anymore, Orlando had no way of truly knowing. And he, himself, hadn't helped matters, either. He'd been treating Sean with kid gloves for more than a month now, afraid of setting him off or making him relive his troubles by talking about them. Well, that sort of nonsense had to stop. Immediately! Yes, he'd had his feelings hurt just now, but he wasn't willing to give up on their friendship simply because a few unpleasant words had been spoken between them.
Orlando didn't know why, exactly, but the thought of losing Sean's friendship nearly sickened him. Quite literally, he realized, as he focused in on the chaos suddenly going on inside himself. His enormous eyes grew even bigger as he felt his stomach twisting into excruciating knots and his chest tightening with such panic that, for a moment, he actually couldn't breathe properly. 'Holy shite! What is up with that?' he wondered frantically. When had Sean become that important to him?
He honestly had no idea, but looking back as he thought about it, he realized that it must have been coming on for quite some time. Sean had always been one of his acting idols. For the Sharpe series alone, he was practically a British icon. What lad back home in England didn't want to grow up to be Richard Sharpe, after all? When they were first introduced, Orlando had been so tongue tied, he could hardly say two words. As they had slowly come to know each other, however, his hero worship had changed into genuine affection for the man behind the brilliant actor.
Though there were obvious differences between them, Orlando's notorious love of daredevil sports that were complete anathema to Sean being chief among them, they still managed to get on remarkably well together. They quickly found out that their wicked senses of humor were so similar as to be almost scary, and had teamed up on more than one occasion to pull a practical joke on some unfortunate member of the cast or crew. They also discovered a mutual love for the game of chess, and were delighted to learn that their skill levels were quite evenly matched. They could sit for hours over the chessboard, downing a few pints as they strategized and plotted each other's figurative demise to their hearts' content. Football was another thing they had in common. Though Orlando was nowhere near as fanatical about 'the beautiful game' as the Northerner was, especially the older man's beloved home team, the Sheffield United Blades, he thoroughly enjoyed watching a good match on the telly. Seeing Sean work himself into a frenzy as he shouted curses and 'coaching advice' at the screen merely added to the fun! Many an evening had begun with them sharing a meal while they watched footie together and ended in the wee hours of the morning as they stayed up talking about anything and everything under the sun.
In short, they had become very good friends, and Orlando missed the closeness they used to share. But the distinctly uncomfortable sensation in his gut seemed to have very little to do with friendship. If he was forced to pin it down, it felt an awful lot like..."Oh, bloody hell!" he whispered harshly as the realization finally dawned on him. This was frighteningly similar to the feeling of dread he'd experienced when his relationship with Jessica had begun to fall apart! But Jessica had been his girlfriend. Of two years, for pity sakes! Sean was a friend friend! A male friend! What in the bollocksing blue blazes was he feeling like this for? Yes, he admitted that he'd come to love the man, but it was no different from the way he felt about Dommie, Lij, Billy or Vig. Perhaps he and Sean had become closer than he was with the others, but that was all, wasn't it? Wasn't it?
But no matter how hard he tried to convince himself that his feelings for Sean were nothing more than platonic friendship, it simply wasn't working. Terrified as he was to admit it, even to himself, he was swiftly coming to the reluctant but inevitable conclusion that he had stupidly gone and fallen in love with his gorgeous blonde cast mate. Which meant... What, exactly? Never before in his entire life had he experienced such feelings for another man! Did this suddenly make him gay now? He thought about how it would be to kiss Sean and a sharp little thrill of aroused excitement fluttered through his stomach, shocking him with its intensity. He then tried to picture himself kissing someone else, say Viggo or Karl or Craig, and the only thing he felt was a cloying sense of panic. Okay, so maybe not gay in the general sense of the word, but with Sean? Yeah, another story entirely!
He knew that the older man had experimented with the occasional homosexual fling in his younger days, but he also knew that it had been many, many years since Sean had tried anything like that. With his personal life all but coming apart at the seams right now, it was highly unlikely that Sean would choose him, Orlando, to change that fact. They were friends, after all. Best mates, nothing more, and after the last month and a half, he didn't even know if they were that anymore! There was also the undeniable fact that Orlando was so much younger than he was. What did a wet-behind-the-ears little nobody like him have to offer such a sophisticated and experienced man? Not a single thing, really, and there were still several months left before Fellowship would be completed. Sean was much too professional to start up a relationship with a co-star, especially a male co-star, and risk the chance of destroying the amazing chemistry and camaraderie they had all managed to achieve so effortlessly. Besides, it was pretty much a foregone conclusion that he wasn't attracted to Orlando in the first place. So where did that leave him? And why did he have to discover these unrequited and highly inconvenient feelings now, of all times, when he and Sean had never been farther apart?
An aggravated moan of despair broke from his lips as he struggled to come to terms with the conflicting emotions that were currently threatening to overwhelm him. Like caged rats trapped in a never-ending maze, his thoughts chased about uselessly, twisting 'round and 'round in vicious circles until Orlando lost all sense of time and place. The knock, when it came, startled him so much that he nearly fell off the couch. Right, he was in the Cuntebago and that knock probably meant that it was time to get back to work. Half a second later, a crew member he recognized but didn't know by name stuck her head through the doorway. Confirming his suspicions, she proceeded to inform him that lunch break was over and PJ wanted them back on set in five minutes.
Still feeling quite disoriented from all the emotional upheaval, Orlando gave himself a firm mental shake and got to his feet. "Thanks, I'll be right there," he replied automatically and gave her a somewhat distracted smile. In some bemusement, he watched a blush color her pretty face as she gave him an acknowledging nod and hurriedly backed out, the metal door banging shut behind her. He'd become rather accustomed to making pretty girls blush since arriving in New Zealand, especially while in full Legolas regalia, so he didn't think twice about it as he made his way down the trailer steps. Moving with unconscious reluctance, he walked slowly back to the Lothlorien set, wondering all the while if he would be able to regain the cool, Elven serenity that was such a vital hallmark of his character by the time the cameras started rolling. Especially when he came face to face with Sean.
Achieving the proper mindset before he reached his destination was no easy task. It took every last ounce of discipline and concentration he possessed, but when he finally felt a soothing calm descend upon him, he knew he had found his inner Elf. The only thing that concerned him now were the probing looks he was receiving from all and sundry. 'Oh great! Just great!' he mentally groaned. Obviously, his confrontation with Sean had made the rounds and now everyone was aware of it. Well, what else did he expect from this close-knit group of actors, or to be more accurate, friends? He was only grateful for the fact that Sean seemed to be as intent on avoiding him as he was on avoiding Sean. Thank heavens Legolas and Boromir had very little interaction during the scene where the Fellowship is discovered wandering through the Golden Wood by Haldir and his fellow guards, and are led off to face Celeborn and Galadriel!
TBC