An Ode to Titusville.

Dec 23, 2007 12:01

So I am back in Titusville and I have to say it is the first time I am actually happy to be here. I think I've done a decent job of separating myself from my family and this little po-dunk town, but there comes a time where you can become lonely in a city full of so many people who just can't replace that sense of family you have at home. However, the more time I spend in Orlando, the more time I realize the hilarity that comes with visiting Titusville.

I went to Walmart Friday and counted 48 pairs of Jean Shorts (Jorts for short). I'd say at least 70% of these jorts were accompanied by either a camo/hunting shirt or some lame non-witty screen tee with something like "F.B.I Female Body Inspector" or something of the sort on it. I love going from hanging in frat-boy city full of polo, plaid shorts and ties that go with button up shirts and khakis to hanging in Titusville where lee dungarees (so tight you can't help but stare and wonder how they manuevered into them) flourish like the weeds in my front lawn.

My parents, originally from Ohio, have even been effected by this crazy Southern trend that seems to have overtaken the town. Check out my dad on Thanksgiving... notice his "Thanksgiving Shirt" that my mom demands he wear every year. 


Although I get quite a chuckle out of this, my mom is actually starting believe it is a cool, acceptable shirt. Thank God my dad has enough sense to go back to the tacky "World's Best Dad" shirts I've been buying him every year since I was four.

Oh but the men in Titusville aren't the only ones to critisize. The women can be just as bad. Please, for the love of God someone become mayor of Titusville and ban all Tweety and Hannah Barabara cartoon figures from being printed on ANY article of clothing. When I think of white trash I automatically envision those women lingering in the cosmetics section of Walmart wearing their over-sized Daffy Duck t-shirt accenting their 3-sizes-too-small jeans that create a muffin top so large it inspires me to take a quick trip to the Sunrise Bakery and buy a couple scones for the road. Oh and please... someone tell my sister that bare midriffs went out of style in 2000. Ya, she can pull it off.... but no... it just isn't fashionable anymore.  Again it's funny going from juicy couture-crazed sorority girls to girls who only associate the word "juicy" with the oranges that grow on groves all over this town...

Now, I have to give Titusville credit. We do have a brand new Target, and it is quite fabulous... it is, after all, our main attraction nowadays since the space shuttle is beyond undependable and nobody bothers to shop at Miracle or Sears town malls...and let's face it NASA is only fun for like... uhh.. an hour. The Target also brought other big-league merchants such as Marshall's (can I get an Ooooh?) and Quiznos (can I get an Ahhhh?). However, I am proud to say that along with those fantastic retail facilities, we had enough sense to get a Merle Norman, which coincidently sells Vera Bradley, which earns Titusville an A in my book for the time being.

But, Titusville has something that Orlando severely lacks-- Good food. Sure, we have every chain of food in Orlando from Applebees to Unos, but we don't have any "real" food. Here in good Orlando we have A) my mom's good ol' mid-western cooking and B) a number of family-owned restaurants. It delights me to pay $5 for a real meal at "Your Place" or "Steve's." Last night we had dinner at the new "Rodeo Mexican Restaurant" (in front of the crack motel on Garden st.) and I had to say my grande-sized fajitas were pretty amazing for only $8. Oh and have you tried Hope's--- it's probably the most adorable restaurant I've ever eaten in.... or Cloibers Cobbler Eattery... me and my mom had lunch there a month or two ago and we had the best shepards pie while a guy a played the guitar for us and sang as we ate. Sure... every restaurant seems to be a possessive belonging to same random name like Hope's or Steve's... but Hope and Steve (to whom I have met both) pretty much deserve to name the place after themself. (FYI there is also Dave's, Louis's, Valentino's, Paul's, and Sonny's that provide our Titusville fine dining)

Still, aside from the monopoly of pickup trucks and mini-vans that make up the core of Titusville, we have a lot of culture and spunk here that you just can't find in the big city. Ya sure, I only knew 2 jewish kids going to high school... and the only spanish people I had to put up with worked at the mexican restaurant .. and yeah I was sheltered... but this town isn't so bad. We're surrounded by rivers, beaches, NASA (however uneventful that is these days), and downtown street parties every weekend. I semi-miss the days when me and my closest friends would pile into our cars and hang out in cocoa village, or take dance lessons at the downtown dance studio... or heaven forbid I reminsice the hours upon hours I spent being underpaid at the Titusville Playhouse. That $300 completely illegally given to me under the table never seemed to bother me. I calculated it and I was making about $2 or $3 an hour... yet, I came back every summer to work again and again... and go to that ridiculous drama camp where we hazed the shit out of everyone in the mountains. I didn't even get hazed for my sorority... yet I got hazed to be a fucking actor... go figure.

But... Titusville will always be lame even with all of its perks. The Florida Today Newspaper sucks, the Star Advocate is worse, the Indian river smells like toxic waste half the time, people consistently drive 10 miles under the speed limit in no passing zones, cops will pull you over for having a dim license plate light, there's no clubs and the only bars we have only attract middle-aged alcoholics, the bowling alley is the only semi-decent thing to do and it costs like $20 a person. The giant houses that line carpenter road simply cannot overshadow the dumps that the "hoods" occupy on DeLeon. The Christmas lights are nice... we probably spend more money on holiday lighting than we spend on commerce in the local "malls." But hey, aside from the drama that my homelife brings almost 24 hours a day, it's home, and it will always be home.

TaTa for now. Caroling tonite starting at Danyelle's. How fun.. we could never do that in Orlando.. let alone pegasus landing... the chance of getting shot in the process is probably higher than the chance of dying in 5 o'clock traffic on I-4. Yay for college town, but I guess Titusville isn't such a bad place to spend the holidays.

The End.
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