My own Leatherspeak....
This time on Friday, I will be at my 2nd leather event since exiling myself to get my shit together..going clean and going back to nursing school. Is it silly to say that I am a bit nervous? I will be seeing so many people who I have not seen for years....probably about 5 years to be exact....What will they think...I look different, I feel different, yet am I truly a different person? I like to think that I am still the same person, only better...a more improved person.
Why do these insecurities come back to haunt me? I have proven to myself that I am more than competent in life and in taking care of myself yet I feel a twinge of worry as to what others may think. I thought that I was over this and am actually a bit angry with myself right now.
I am the same person that I was 7 years ago whenever I was American Leatherwoman...the only difference being that I am actually BETTER now....in the fact that I am more in touch with myself and actually can FEEL now....moreso than 5 years ago whenever I was using.
Okay....so now I have poured my feelings out onto this page...I hope that it helps me to feel better about my insecurities. Perhaps...I am simply human and allow myself to feel this way and to express it to others.
I reach out to the universe to give me strength in these times that I feel so small in this world which I have surrounded myself with...
Why do these insecurities come back to haunt me? I have proven to myself that I am more than competent in life and in taking care of myself yet I feel a twinge of worry as to what others may think. I thought that I was over this and am actually a bit angry with myself right now.
I am the same person that I was 7 years ago whenever I was American Leatherwoman...the only difference being that I am actually BETTER now....in the fact that I am more in touch with myself and actually can FEEL now....moreso than 5 years ago whenever I was using.
Okay....so now I have poured my feelings out onto this page...I hope that it helps me to feel better about my insecurities. Perhaps...I am simply human and allow myself to feel this way and to express it to others.
I reach out to the universe to give me strength in these times that I feel so small in this world which I have surrounded myself with...