(no subject)
It's so weird to me. It's weird the days, the moments when I miss my father.
I'll go days, weeks, possibly months without really thinking of him, or anything... no need really. Gosh, it's almost been 9 years since he died. My life is busy and full. There are others who have come a long in my life that have greater influence in my decisions, who much of my life is shaped around. And really, it's as it should be. We were meant to move on. I'm glad that I have been able to lead a successful life wihtout carrying the burden of his death around.
Yet... then, suddenly, out of no where, there are these days... weeks that are so miserable, so lonely, even painful that I really want is to talk to him. To trust that I can talk to him about anything, without worry that what I said would be analyzed and studied for stupidity. I wonder what it would be like, to talk to him as an adult. I wonder what our relationship would have been like after my teenage years. I was so close to him as a child...
I guess this partly comes out of the fact that my mother is very difficult to get ahold of. And when I do get a hold of her, she's always busy, and can never talk long. I have something of fair importance to discuss wit her, yet I'm unable to reach her, and even if I could, I fear her reaction. I don't really blame her; she's busy with a baby, and life, you know? I really do just wish I could talk to my dad.
aj
I'll go days, weeks, possibly months without really thinking of him, or anything... no need really. Gosh, it's almost been 9 years since he died. My life is busy and full. There are others who have come a long in my life that have greater influence in my decisions, who much of my life is shaped around. And really, it's as it should be. We were meant to move on. I'm glad that I have been able to lead a successful life wihtout carrying the burden of his death around.
Yet... then, suddenly, out of no where, there are these days... weeks that are so miserable, so lonely, even painful that I really want is to talk to him. To trust that I can talk to him about anything, without worry that what I said would be analyzed and studied for stupidity. I wonder what it would be like, to talk to him as an adult. I wonder what our relationship would have been like after my teenage years. I was so close to him as a child...
I guess this partly comes out of the fact that my mother is very difficult to get ahold of. And when I do get a hold of her, she's always busy, and can never talk long. I have something of fair importance to discuss wit her, yet I'm unable to reach her, and even if I could, I fear her reaction. I don't really blame her; she's busy with a baby, and life, you know? I really do just wish I could talk to my dad.
aj