k-pop; thinking out loud

May 04, 2015 23:56

Title: Thinking out loud
Pairing: Baekhyun/Kyungsoo
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Baekhyun’s been in love with Kyungsoo for years, so it’s about time he tells him, right? In hindsight, though, he could have picked a better place to do it.
Author’s Note: 3578 words. Inspired by this prompt. How it ended up this long and so full of fluff is beyond me but it’s been awhile since I’ve written this ship so I had a lot of fun with it anyway! :D



It’s past ten on a Thursday night and the McDonald’s is scattered with hungry college students coming in for that late night dinner or looking for a break between studying for finals. Baekhyun’s a bit of both, rubbing greasy fingers on his pants in between popping french fries into his mouth and moaning aloud at the taste the way that makes Kyungsoo look at him like he’s an idiot. Except, really, Kyungsoo always looks at Baekhyun like he’s an idiot, and in the four years they’ve known each other, Baekhyun has come to realize that’s just his way of showing he cares.

He’d dragged Kyungsoo out to eat with him. Or, well, begged and whined incessantly and disturbed Kyungsoo who’d been studying for a test so much that Kyungsoo had no choice but to give in if he wanted Baekhyun to go away. Baekhyun doesn’t get why Kyungsoo puts up such a front all the time, seeing as he’s devouring his burger like he hasn’t eaten in weeks. He should be thanking Baekhyun, to be honest. Who else would drag him out to eat? Kyungsoo would starve otherwise and become just as old and decrepit as the giant books he lugs around with him everywhere.

The thought has Baekhyun laughing at himself. He looks at Kyungsoo who is staring at notecards in between bites of his burger, and laughs harder, and bits of his chewed up fries fall out of his mouth.

“You are so disgusting,” Kyungsoo says, shuddering, but he reaches across the table to press a napkin to Baekhyun’s chin, wiping the mess away. “What’s so funny?”

“You are,” Baekhyun says, grinning, and Kyungsoo sits back in his seat to give him a slow, searching look, like he’s not sure if he’s being teased. “The funniest, my Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo kicks him, hard, under the table, and Baekhyun’s yelp draws the attention of the people in the surrounding booths. He just waves a hand at them, laughing to fight back the wince, but then smiles at Kyungsoo, unfazed. “Will you just be quiet and eat? I’m trying to concentrate,” Kyungsoo says, waving his notecards at Baekhyun’s face.

Baekhyun shrugs, not promising anything, and pops another fry into his mouth. Kyungsoo goes back to his studying, his plush lips mouth the words as he reads, and it’s really cute. Everything about Kyungsoo is cute, to Baekhyun, who had found the quiet yet opinionated kid in his sociology class first semester to be possibly the most fascinating thing about university. Back then, Baekhyun knew he had to befriend him, even though Kyungsoo seemed most disinterested in anything that had to do with him.

It worked out in the end, though, because Kyungsoo was roommates with Jongin, who was dating Chanyeol, who was Baekhyun’s roommate, and Baekhyun wasn’t above tagging along with Chanyeol to visit Jongin just so he could see Kyungsoo. It helped that Jongin was too nice to turn Baekhyun away and Baekhyun knew too many of Chanyeol’s secrets that he never stopped him from joining them either, lest Baekhyun went through with his threat of creating a website that laid out all of his Jongin-fantasies. Baekhyun had no idea how to code an entire website, but. He would have done it! All in the name of friendship.

Kyungsoo was hard to break down, but a mutual interest in singing and music, and being paired up for a project in their sociology class resulted in spending more time together and learning more about each other. Soon, Kyungsoo would laugh at Baekhyun’s jokes instead of give him that dead, soulless stare Baekhyun had started to get used to. His laugh was just as cute as the rest of him, his heart-shaped lips and how heated he’d get over discussions of politics with Chanyeol. Baekhyun had no idea what they would be talking about, but he’d pay attention to Kyungsoo anyway, memorizing the fierce look in his eyes or the way his voice would get a little lower when he was angry.

Yes, so Baekhyun had a crush. By the end of the year, it was hard to ignore. How could he not, when Kyungsoo was so…Kyungsoo?? Baekhyun wanted to spend time with him always. Wanted to tease him more and more just to see how far he could push it. Wanted to study with him because he’d somehow get more work done when he did, or watch movies together curled into one of their small dorm beds, and maybe even hold hands down the sidewalk to class the way Chanyeol and Jongin did.

Somedays, Kyungsoo will do that now. When Baekhyun is talking too much or too loud and he wants to edge in and shut him up, he’ll grab his hand and squeeze tight for a second, then slip their fingers through together, and Baekhyun will be too happy, too excited, to do anything but let him, content to have Kyungsoo’s affection.

They’ve been dating for six months now, after Kyungsoo had kissed Baekhyun speechless in a small karaoke booth in Koreatown. Baekhyun had attempted to serenade him with a riveting rendition of Boom Clap, while their friends cheered him on from the sidelines, and then, somehow after that, when Baekhyun passed off the mic to Jongdae and flopped back into his seat next to Kyungsoo, drunk off the environment and maybe a few sips of the liquor Chanyeol had snuck in since none of them were of legal drinking age yet, he’d grinned at Kyungsoo, about to ask how well he’d done, and Kyungsoo grabbed the back of his neck and pressed their mouths together.

Baekhyun thought he was hallucinating or something. That maybe he’d tripped getting back to his seat and knocked his head into the small table in the middle of the room and he was dreaming. But then Kyungsoo’s tongue licked between his lips and Chanyeol was hooting loudly in the background, and Baekhyun gasped, hands fisting into Kyungsoo’s shirt as Kyungsoo chuckled and kissed him harder. They’d parted a few moments later, when Jongin complained at them to get a room, and Kyungsoo had pulled away to tell him Jongin had no place to talk when ten minutes before he’d had a hand up Chanyeol’s shirt.

That shut Jongin up pretty easily, and when Kyungsoo turned back to Baekhyun, he was smiling, his eyes full of promise, and took Baekhyun’s hand in his. Baekhyun was still reeling from the fact that he’d!! kissed!! Kyungsoo!!! that all he could do was do it again, laughing happily that Kyungsoo wasn’t pulling away.

Kyungsoo hasn’t pulled away even now. Not when Baekhyun annoys him, not when Baekhyun is being too loud, not when Baekhyun coaxes him into having sex in their apartment building laundry room at four in the morning when nobody's around. Baekhyun thinks he’s pretty fucking lucky, that after all these years of hoping and being more into Kyungsoo than he’s into Girl’s Generation (and honestly, that’s saying a lot), Baekhyun can actually call him his boyfriend.

Baekhyun slumps back into his seat, overwhelmed by his thoughts, and watches as Kyungsoo licks off ketchup from his lips while still concentrating on his studying. He’d left his ankle hooked around Baekhyun’s under the table after he kicked him, and Baekhyun feels warmer from it, wants to climb across the table and curl into Kyungsoo’s side, make him pay attention to him instead of those stupid notecards.

Instead, he says, “I love you,” the words spilling out of his mouth without proper consultation with his brain. That’s a generally regular occurrence for Baekhyun, expect it’s when saying stupid shit that gets Kyungsoo pulling him into a headlock or Jongdae slipping cucumbers into Baekhyun’s food when he’s not looking. Important things, like saying I love you, when Baekhyun’s never said it before, well. He should probably have thought this through a little more.

Kyungsoo is staring at him with wide eyes, and Baekhyun feels heat creeping up the back of his neck which is ridiculous because Baekhyun doesn’t do embarrassed. And what does he have to be embarrassed about, anyway, right? Kyungsoo’s his boyfriend! Baekhyun’s been in love with him probably since the first time Kyungsoo punched him in the shoulder and then called him cute afterward. It’s a long time coming, telling Kyungsoo exactly how he feels.

“Are you trying to get me to buy you a sundae or something, too?” Kyungsoo asks, raising a brow, and Baekhyun gapes, flaps a hand at him.

“No!” he exclaims. “I mean it. Really. Seriously. I love you, Kyungsoo.” It feels so good to say it out loud. His heart is pounding in his ears and his palms feel a little sweaty now, along with being oily from all the grease, and he rubs them on his pants again, tries to calm himself down. It’s like he’s nervous or something, of what Kyungsoo will say, but that’s just ridiculous, right? Baekhyun doesn’t do nervous, either. “I’m pretty sure I’ve been in love with you since freshman year, okay, and I don’t--I don’t know why I suddenly felt like you had to know right now, but you do. I really, really love you.”

For a long moment, Kyungsoo just stares back at him. Baekhyun isn’t even aware of what’s happening around him anymore, focused entirely on Kyungsoo, waiting for something. Anything.

Kyungsoo laughs. One of those really adorable, giggling sort of laughs he does when he’s not too hellbent on keeping appearances. His mouth goes all heart-shaped and his eyes are so soft, so fond, the way he looks at Baekhyun, that Baekhyun lets out a breath in relief, his fingers slowly uncurling from where he’d been fisting the knees of his jeans without even noticing. “You’re such an idiot,” Kyungsoo says, but his voice is as soft as his expression. “Of all the times and places to say such a thing, you pick right now? At a McDonald’s?”

“Well, uh,” Baekhyun says, shrugging slightly. “There’s no time like the present, right?”

Kyungsoo shakes his head, setting his cards aside and muttering, "Idiot," under his breath. Baekhyun feels anxious, wanting Kyungsoo to say something back, but instead he just starts folding up his wrapper and arranging the mess on his tray. He swipes a fry from Baekhyun's and chews it thoughtfully, says, "Are you done?"

Baekhyun still has some of his burger left but suddenly he's not so hungry. He nods, pushes aside the disappointment, and smiles his thanks as Kyungsoo stacks their trays and gets up to toss the trash away. Baekhyun follows him out of the restaurant, shivers a bit from the wind. It's gotten warm quite fast this spring, but the NYC nights are still a little chilly, and Baekhyun wishes he'd brought a hoodie with him at least.

Before he can complain about it though, Kyungsoo is grabbing his hand and lacing their fingers together without preamble. Instant warmth floods Baekhyun's body and he stares down at their hands, giddy. Hopeful. At least it doesn't seem like Kyungsoo is going to break up with him because of his ill timed confession. Baekhyun would probably cry, and Baekhyun is too pretty to cry.

He squeezes his fingers around Kyungsoo’s gently and doesn't press him about it. Kyungsoo has always been more careful of what he says, taking the time to think each word through, and he's never been the most expressive person Baekhyun's known. He's blunt and occasionally deadpan to a fault, but Baekhyun likes that about him. He trusts that Kyungsoo will say what he wants to say when he's ready. Baekhyun just wishes that for once he'd hurry the fuck up.

Once back at their apartment, Kyungsoo mutters something about taking a shower and slips away. Baekhyun watches him disappear behind the bathroom door before sighing, dragging a hand through his hair and pouting at their small living room. They’d moved in here together at the start of the school year, back in August. Baekhyun had spent most of the year trying to convince Kyungsoo to be his roommate after Chanyeol had said he was moving in with Jongin. Kyungsoo had seemed perfectly content with staying in a studio closer to campus, but Baekhyun eventually wore him down with his charms.

Living together made Baekhyun only fall for Kyungsoo more, because now he could see how rumpled and adorable he looked in the mornings, or how domestic he could be when he wanted to, cooking dinner for the two of them when Baekhyun had classes that ended later in the day. Kyungsoo, who walked around in just a shirt and his boxer briefs, showing off pale, soft thighs, was everything Baekhyun wanted to come to in the evenings. They fit perfectly together, in Baekhyun’s opinion, and it doesn’t matter if Kyungsoo doesn’t love him, yet, or isn’t ready to say it. Baekhyun’s not going to push. He’s happy with what he has. It’s more than he ever thought he could have.

Baekhyun tosses his keys out onto the coffee table as he passes and heads to the bedroom. He strips out of his jeans and into more desirable sweats before flopping onto their bed, which is really two twins pushed together, and wonders if he can convince Kyungsoo to sleep early instead of staying up until the middle of the night to study like he’s been doing the past week. He hugs a pillow to his chest and pulls his phone from his pocket, tapping at the screen and reading a few messages he’d missed. Jongdae’s spammed him with a bunch of whiny texts so Baekhyun sends back i told kyungsoo i loved him at a mcdonalds!!! pity me!!!!!! and then drops his phone onto the side of the bed and hides his face in the pillow in his arms.

A few minutes laters, he hears Kyungsoo emerging from the bathroom, humming softly under his breath, but Baekhyun doesn’t turn to look at him. Instead, he just listens as Kyungsoo moves around their room quietly, the sound of the wet towel hitting the laundry basket, a few drawers opening and closing, the shuffle of his feet against the carpet.

“Are you sleeping already?” Kyungsoo asks.

“Depends,” Baekhyun replies, voice muffled into the pillow. “Are you coming to bed, too?”

Kyungsoo makes a soft noise and Baekhyun finally turns to look at him. He’s wearing his usual black underwear and pulling a shirt over his head, one of Baekhyun’s shirts, he realizes, the way it’s way too big on Kyungsoo’s smaller frame, but it makes Baekhyun grin at him, his heart warm. He holds out a hand and makes grabby motions, puts on his best whining voice, “Come sleep with me. You can study tomorrow morning.”

“You’re demanding a lot tonight,” Kyungsoo says, but his mouth is doing that cute thing where the corners move up and down as he holds back his smile, and he crawls up onto the bed anyway. Baekhyun rolls onto his back as Kyungsoo climbs over him, his knees on either side of Baekhyun’s thighs, and Baekhyun instinctively runs his palms up Kyungsoo’s bare legs.

“You still love me anyway, right?” Baekhyun jokes without thinking, the way he usually does, but then wants to take it back, remembering what he’d decided earlier about not pushing Kyungsoo to tell him anything.

He doesn’t get a chance, because then Kyungsoo is kissing him, plush lips moving against Baekhyun’s just right as a hand slips up to cup the back of Baekhyun’s neck where he’s sensitive. Baekhyun shudders, kissing back, and digs his fingers into Kyungsoo’s thighs, holding on. He’s not sure how long they stay like that, Baekhyun could kiss Kyungsoo for hours, so it’s not like he’s complaining of all the attention, the way Kyungsoo’s damp hair drips a little onto his skin, how he slides his hands up under Baekhyun’s shirt and pinches a nipple just to hear him squeal. Baekhyun is full of warmth and happiness and so, so in love he probably puts Chanyeol and Jongin to shame, right now.

“I do, you know,” Kyungsoo says some time later, pulling away to look down at Baekhyun with warm eyes.

Baekhyun licks his lips, his jaw aching a little from all the kissing, and plays with the hem of the shirt Kyungsoo’s wearing, wondering if he can take this make out session to the next level. “What?” he says, blinking and focusing on Kyungsoo’s face.

“I love you, too,” Kyungsoo says and Baekhyun gapes at him, because he wasn’t expecting that, not at all, and he kind of wonders if this is how Kyungsoo felt earlier, when Baekhyun had told him the same thing. He thinks his heart might burst out of his chest, he’s that happy.

“You do?” Baekhyun says, and he means to say it teasingly, like he already knew when he didn’t, but it comes out as a quiet request for confirmation.

Kyungsoo laughs, nodding, and gives the back of Baekhyun’s neck a gentle squeeze. “Obviously,” he says, “how else could I possibly put up with--”

Baekhyun doesn’t let him finish, surging forward to kiss him again, practically toppling Kyungsoo right off his lap and onto his back against the mattress. Kyungsoo makes a disgruntled noise into Baekhyun’s mouth, lays a half-hearted smack to his shoulder, and Baekhyun is laughing back, kissing him again and again and again. “You love me,” he sings, settling his weight atop of Kyungsoo, who makes a face even as he easily wraps his arms around Baekhyun’s back.

“Yeah, and at least I had the decency to not tell you at a McDonald’s,” Kyungsoo says, but he’s grinning. “I wanted to kiss you so much then.”

Kyungsoo is full of surprises right now. “You could have,” Baekhyun says. It’s NYC, people do worse things than make out in public. Baekhyun wouldn’t have minded. “You should have.”

Kyungsoo makes a soft humming noise as his fingers slide through Baekhyun’s hair, smoothing his bangs back from his face and pulling a little the way he knows Baekhyun likes. “I don’t know that I’d have been able to stop,” he admits, and Baekhyun drops another kiss to his lips. “This is better.”

“You’re so cute,” Baekhyun says, beaming, and Kyungsoo pulls at his hair harder in retaliation, but leans up to catch Baekhyun’s little whine with his mouth all the same.

They do end up going to sleep a while later, after Kyungsoo sucks dark bruises into Baekhyun’s neck and collarbones, and somewhere around his navel, and Baekhyun’s finds Jongdae’s belatedly unhelpful response of lol sucks 2 be u on his phone. Kyungsoo turns out the lights and makes sure to set an alarm for some godforsaken time in the morning, and Baekhyun wraps his arms around him instantly when he climbs back into bed. It’s a little ridiculous how he wants to be as close as possible tonight, but he feels so happy, and he thinks maybe Kyungsoo feels the same, because he doesn’t push him away. Instead he slips a leg between Baekhyun’s thighs and presses soft, lingering kisses under his jaw.

“You love me,” Baekhyun says again, his eyelids feeling a little heavy now as exhaustion catches up to him. Still, he can make out the faint outline of Kyungsoo’s face in the dark, the mess of his hair and the curve of his jawline. He reaches out and pokes his cheek and Kyungsoo snorts, amused.

“Are you going to keep saying that from now on?” he asks, but he doesn’t sound as annoyed as he probably wants to be.

“Maybe,” Baekhyun says, with a hint of defiance, and it’s not that he doesn’t believe Kyungsoo, because he does. Kyungsoo’s done more than enough in the past hour to convince him of that, if Baekhyun had any doubt, but it’s more because he’s happy to know it, to hear it, and this feeling is so new and exciting that Baekhyun wants to hold onto it for as long as he can.

Kyungsoo pinches his stomach in response, right where he’d left that mark earlier, and Baekhyun hisses. He rubs his thumb over it gently afterwards, smoothing away the pain, and Baekhyun shuffles closer to kiss him in the dark. He misses his mouth almost entirely, Kyungsoo laughing as Baekhyun finds the corner of his lips, his cheek instead, and says, “Don’t make me take it back.”

“You wouldn’t,” Baekhyun says confidently. “You can’t. I know the truth now, Kyungsoo.”

“I’ve clearly made a terrible mistake,” Kyungsoo says, but Baekhyun just cackles into the crook of his neck.

“I’m really happy,” he mumbles, and stops fighting to stay awake, closing his eyes.

Hands slip through his hair as Kyungsoo pets him quietly. “Go to sleep, you idiot,” he says, but Baekhyun hears the affection in his voice, knows that Kyungsoo is happy, too, and that’s everything Baekhyun’s ever wanted. Kyungsoo’s happiness. Kyungsoo’s love.

Baekhyun squeezes Kyungsoo tighter, relaxing into his gentle touches and the elation still singing in his veins, and he’s already looking forward to tomorrow, when he can greet Kyungsoo with another I love you in the morning. He might end up with a mouthful of his pillow in return, but Baekhyun won’t mind. He’s happy.

note: a;lks;gasd i stressed too much over that ending so i hope it’s okay >.<
cute happy baeksoo makes my heart warm hehe i should really write them more
happy (early) birthday to you bbh ♥ may you continue to bother kyungsoo for another year
thank you for reading~~ i hope you enjoyed! ٩(^ᴗ^)۶ ♡

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r: pg-13, type: fanfiction, p: baekhyun/kyungsoo, g: exo

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