k-pop; promise you forever 3/5

[tatoeba]

Chanyeol wakes up the next morning feeling like he'd spent the last night drinking his weight in alcohol. As it was, he only had maybe two beers before going to bed, but he'd spent maybe three hours lying there and staring at the space where Jongin would sleep feeling so awful about everything he could barely stand it. And now, as the sun streams through the windows that he forgot to close the curtains on, and Jongin's space is still empty, he feels a little like someone ran him over with a truck a couple of times.

He drags himself out of bed with the thought of maybe cleaning up the apartment and making some of Jongin's favorites for lunch as an apology, and Jongin usually forgives anything when there's chicken out on the table. He washes up in the bathroom and tugs on a clean pair of sweatpants and a white tank top and heads to the kitchen, only to stop in the living room when he finds Jongin sitting on the couch, their puppies on either side of him.

"Morning," Jongin says slowly when he sees him. There are dark circles under his eyes and his hair is a mess, and he’s wearing a pair of his black-rimmed glasses instead of contacts and Chanyeol hopes Sunjung dropped him off here because Jongin can barely see and he must’ve not taken extra contacts or anything with him when he left last night. He's still in the clothes Chanyeol saw him in yesterday, jean-clad legs pulled up to his chest and oversized hoodie covering his arms. Chanyeol’s hoodie, he realizes then as he swallows, wracking his brain for what to say, how to make what happened last night better. They don’t fight like that often. They usually only ever fight over stupid things like beating each other at Assassin’s Creed or when Chanyeol threw in a red shirt with all of Jongin’s whites in the laundry. They haven’t fought like this in years, and Chanyeol can’t even remember what their last argument was even about.

All he knows is that he’s so glad Jongin is back, that Jongin didn’t leave, that Jongin is looking at him softly instead of with angry brows and the tight purse of his lips that he saw last night. Heart pounding, Chanyeol crosses the room and envelopes Jongin into a hug, practically tackling him into the couch and pulling a loud yelp from Jongin. Their puppies bark, Jjanggu sounding particularly annoyed that Chanyeol’s disrupting him, but Chanyeol couldn’t care less. He holds Jongin close and mutters, “I’m so sorry,” into the crook of his neck.

A puff of air blows against the side of his face as Jongin laughs and his arms come around to rest on his back. “I know,” Jongin says softly, “I am, too.”

“You didn’t even do anything wrong,” Chanyeol protests.

“Did you forget about that punch already?” Jongin laughs again, drawing away to look at him fondly. His gaze drops to the the purpling bruise against the corner of Chanyeol’s mouth and he leans forward to kiss it, just a slight press of his lips to the skin.

Chanyeol swallows thickly as he adjusts onto Jongin’s lap, still holding him as close as he can like he’s confirming the fact that he’s really there. “I deserved it,” he says when he finds his voice again, but Jongin shakes his head.

“No, you didn’t, Chanyeol,” he says. “You didn’t say anything I hadn’t thought a hundred times already, that I didn’t know you felt a long time ago, even if you hadn’t mentioned it until yesterday.” He sighs and pushes a hand through his hair. “I should’ve warned you or something, that she was gonna be there.”

“She’s your mom, Jongin,” Chanyeol says. “I really didn’t mind that she came over to see you. It was your birthday--god, it was your birthday and I’m such a fucking dick--”

Jongin’s laughter eases away the crippling guilt, and his hands slide up from his back to cup Chanyeol’s face. “Yeah, you kinda are sometimes,” Jongin says with a wry smile, “but I still love you. And don’t worry about my birthday. Turning 30 is really no big deal.”

“Hey, turning 30 is like a milestone,” Chanyeol says seriously and Jongin snorts. “But I had plans. I wanted to celebrate. After the baby comes, we’re not gonna have as much time to do things like that anymore, you know?”

“You’re cute,” Jongin says, and Chanyeol is always amazed at how Jongin ends up blushing when he says things like that, instead of Chanyeol. “But, really, it’s okay. We can do something to celebrate later, if you really want. That’s not really important, anyway.”

He’s right. It’s not important at all compared to their argument and Chanyeol sighs. He fiddles with the zipper on Jongin’s hoodie, dragging it up and down for a moment before he says, “I know you won’t cut your parents out of your life, and I don’t expect you to. If I was in your shoes, I don’t know what I’d do, to be honest, it’s just that, I see how much they hurt you and I don’t want you to feel that way, ever.”

Jongin is biting into his lower lip as he stares at Chanyeol, his hands slipping into his hair, playing with the short strands at the back of his neck.

Chanyeol barrels on, “But if you can deal with that, then...then that’s fine. They’re your parents, and I know you’re happy if you get to talk to them, even if it’s just a short phone call. I don’t know how you do it.” He lets out a small laugh at that, which has Jongin grinning, too. “I’m not gonna pretend it makes me happy, though, because after what you told me your mom said about us having a baby, I just. I can’t accept that, Jongin. It makes me so angry.”

“You don’t think I was angry, too?” Jongin questions. “When she said that, it took so much to not yell back at her. I didn’t want to hear what she had to say. I hoped, I had really hoped that maybe the idea of a grandchild would warm her up to everything, but it didn’t.” His lips curve downward at the corners and he clenches his eyes shut tight for a few moments. Chanyeol rubs a hand soothingly down his back. “And, you were right, last night, that despite that, I do still want her in my life.” He takes a deep, shaky breath and opens his eyes, meets Chanyeol’s gaze. “She’ll always be my mom, even if she doesn’t accept me like this. Accept us.”

“Then,” Chanyeol starts, “then, maybe next time you should warn me.” He says it lightly, and is glad that the sadness fades away from Jongin’s eyes, replaced a warm sort of gratitude that makes Chanyeol feel like everything will be okay.

“I think that’s fair,” Jongin agrees, pulling him in closer and kissing him gently on the mouth. “And I am sorry for punching you. Does it still hurt?”

Chanyeol shakes his head. “I’ll be okay,” he says. “I’ll be even better if you let me take you out tonight to make up for yesterday.”

A wide grin spreads across Jongin’s face and he nods. “All right,” he says happily and tugs Chanyeol in for another quick press of their lips.

-

“I can’t believe you guys are giving up all your free time to willingly have a baby,” Sehun says as he lounges out on the floor of the living room with a controller in his hand. He’s currently beating Chanyeol at their fifth game of Mario Kart and it’s mortifying.

“That’s because you’re the baby of all our friends and you’ve never thought of taking care of anyone in your life,” Chanyeol retorts. “You just want people to take care of you.”

“I see nothing wrong with that,” Sehun sniffs. "It's just that I can't imagine you guys being parents at all," he adds after a moment.

"Probably because you've seen us at our worst," Jongin points out. He's lying across the couch with his feet in Chanyeol's lap and and his iPad in his hands. "What about Jaesun for a boy?" he asks Chanyeol who hums thoughtfully and considers.

"That's not so bad," Chanyeol replies and Jongin huffs at his screen, continuing on his search for the perfect names. They've been throwing around ideas for a few days after they heard from Soojin that her second ultrasound the next week should confirm the baby's sex. Chanyeol, who hadn't ever thought of baby names before this, never realized how difficult choosing one could actually be.

"I think you should wait until the delivery to find out your baby's sex," Sehun says. "Isn't that more exciting?"

"We're already excited," Chanyeol says. "Besides, on the actual birth, Jongin will probably be too busy crying to even see the baby through his tears, so--" He groans loudly, dropping his controller to the floor as Jongin presses his foot down against his crotch.

"What was that dear?" he hisses, narrowing his eyes at Chanyeol over the top of his iPad.

Chanyeol just grumbles in response, pushing Jongin's feet away to retrieve his controller, but the damage is done and Sehun wins. He lets out a cheer and Jongin bumps his fist with his in congratulations and Chanyeol slumps back into the couch, feeling defeated in more ways than one.

Jongin flashes him a smirk, then turns his attention back to name-searching. "How about Seohyun for a girl?"

"Nah, too common," Chanyeol dismisses easily. "I want our baby to stand out."

"Name your baby after me," Sehun says with an eager grin, turning around to look at them both.

"No, thanks," Jongin snorts and Chanyeol barks out a laugh that makes Sehun scowl. He turns away from them and starts up another game which has Chanyeol hastily turning back to the screen to pay attention. Jongin shifts on the couch, picking himself up and scooting over to sit beside him, close enough that their thighs brush but so Chanyeol still has enough room to play. “I like Jungsu for a boy,” he says after a few minutes. “But also Yejun and--”

“Are you only looking at boy names?” Chanyeol laughs. The way Jongin fidgets slightly beside him gives him his answer before Jongin even opens his mouth. “We could end up with a girl, you know.”

“I know, I know,” Jongin says and Chanyeol doesn’t need to look to know he’s pouting. “There’s just so many options, my head is starting to hurt looking at only names for boys.” Chanyeol hears him tapping at the screen of his iPad and then he’s reaching forward to set it onto the coffee table.“I guess we still have some time to think about it.”

“And once we find out the sex from Soojin next week, at least we can only focus on girl or boy names, too,” Chanyeol points out, slowly becoming distracted as Jongin shifts a little closer and rests his head on his shoulder. He tries to focus on the game but Jongin’s warmth slowly seeps into his veins and it doesn’t help that Jongin’s got a hand on his thigh now, thumb rubbing tiny circles along the side.

It only takes a few minutes before he gives up and lets Sehun win, tossing the controller to the floor and snaking an arm around Jongin’s shoulders to pull him in close. Sehun gives them a disgusted look as he snags the bag of chips off the coffee table and munches on a mouthful.

“You guys seriously look the least like parents, ever,” Sehun says, his words obscured by the crunch of chips.

“I think that title goes to you,” Jongin retorts. “And, besides, it’s not like anyone is ever really ready to be a parent. Don’t you remember how horrified Junmyeon-hyung was when Daeho was born? And we all knew he’d make the perfect dad, since he practically takes care of everyone.”

Chanyeol grins, recalling the fond memory of Junmyeon nearly fainting in worry when he’d been waiting for Daeho to be born. He’d been too freaked out to actually go into the room with Eunji, and her screams of anger had been heard by probably everyone on that hospital floor. Chanyeol’s kind of glad neither he nor Jongin have to really go through any of that.

“I guess you make a good point,” Sehun agrees slowly. “But still. I always figured like Yixing-hyung and Yifan-hyung would end up with a kid before you two. Fuck I even thought Junmyeon-hyung would have a second kid before you! It’s just...weird.” He stuffs another handful of chips into his mouth and stares at Chanyeol and Jongin for a few long moments, eyes narrowed in assessment. Chanyeol feels a little uncomfortable and he glances at Jongin who just looks back at his friend in amusement.

“We’re gonna be awesome parents, you just wait,” Jongin tells Sehun confidently. It makes Chanyeol’s heart warm, the assuredness of his voice, the wide grin on his face.

Sehun hums thoughtfully and says, “Chanyeol, maybe. You? Not so much.” High-pitched laughter fills the room as Sehun dodges Jongin’s terribly aimed couch pillow. He just grabs it and throws it back and Jongin lets out a disgruntled noise when it smacks him in the face even as he attempts to block it. “I hope you guys have a girl because you’ll both be so lost with what to do,” Sehun says.

“You have such little faith,” Chanyeol says with a shake of his head. “I bet you’re gonna be excited when the baby is born, buying it all these stupid presents.”

Sehun doesn’t refute it, just smiles. “I still think you guys are crazy,” he says finally.

“Hmm, maybe,” Jongin says, pressing in closer to Chanyeol’s side and glancing up at him quickly. He smiles, too, and Chanyeol squeezes his shoulders. “But that’s okay.”

Chanyeol kisses Jongin’s nose and Sehun grumbles, “Gross!” before tossing a controller at the two of them.

-

Chanyeol grabs the cups of coffee from the barista, thanking her with a kind smile, and heads back to the small table in the corner of the shop where Jongin sits. He's still staring at the new sonogram they had gotten from Soojin not even an hour ago, his lower lip tucked into his mouth.

Chanyeol settles into his seat across from him, slides Jongin's latte over. Jongin doesn't look up. "Are you upset?" he asks after a few moments of silence.

That reaches Jongin's ears, his head snapping up to stare at Chanyeol incredulously. "What? No!" he exclaims, profusely shaking his head. It's the first thing Jongin has managed to say since they left, too choked up, too enraptured by the photo to really even look at Chanyeol or anyone else. He probably would've walked into traffic on their way here if Chanyeol hadn't been watching him so closely.

"I just know how much you wanted--"

"It doesn't matter," Jongin says, shaking his head again. He's looking back at the photo, his expression so soft. "It never really mattered. I'm just. We're having a girl, Chanyeol. A girl." He lets out a puff of laughter, of disbelief, and reaches for his cup, taking a drink as he continues to stare at the photo. He yelps suddenly, almost spilling his coffee in his haste to set it down and makes a face, clearly having burned his tongue.

Chanyeol snickers at him, which earns him a short glare. "A girl," Chanyeol says quietly, aware of all the people in the shop. "Sehun was right," he laughs, "what are we going to do with a girl?"

Jongin doesn't answer, just smiles down at the photo, traces his fingers across the slightly more defined features of their baby. It no longer looks like a blob but an actual human being and Chanyeol is having a hard time believing there's only a few months left. A few months until he can hold his baby girl in his arms and rock her to sleep. A few months until he can kiss her little head in the morning before work, until singing her lullabies and feeling her tiny fingers in his hand and trying to make sure she doesn’t cry. A few months until their little family is complete.

The thought makes him so excited, he can’t stop the grin forming on his face as he goes over it all in his head. He sips at his coffee and glances back at Jongin who is still staring at the sonogram like it’s magic and he doesn’t understand it. It’s adorable, Chanyeol thinks, and he knows that as soon as they get home, Jongin is going to pin it to the fridge and probably cry about it for an hour.

They sit in silence for awhile, warming up from the February cold and simply basking in the knowledge that they’re having a girl. Chanyeol doesn’t mind the quiet, or the fact that Jongin is ignoring him in favor of a photo. He just gazes out the window and watches as cars drive past, headlights glaring against the window glass. It’s started snowing sometime after he got here, just a light sprinkling of beautiful white across the streets and it’s calming, somehow, to Chanyeol whose mind is reeling with so much excitement and anxiety. He just watches as it gets more and more crowded as the work hours end and people start to head home. He smiles around the rim of his cup as a mother ushers her two kids carefully down the icy sidewalk. In a few years time, that will be him.

“What are you thinking about?” Jongin’s voice suddenly cuts through his thoughts and Chanyeol turns, finds Jongin looking at him curiously.

“The future,” he says vaguely and laughs when Jongin scoffs, his brows scrunching up cutely. “Are you ready to go?”

Jongin nods, carefully puts the photo back into its little envelope and then into the inside pocket of his blue peacoat. Chanyeol tosses their cups away and leads the way out of the shop, the chilly air instantly making him shiver. He rubs his hands together and shoves them into his pockets as Jongin wraps his scarf around his neck, a thick red one Yixing once forgot at their apartment but let Jongin keep. It covers up half his face and he looks so cute that Chanyeol wishes he could wrap an arm around him and pull him close.

Instead he just lightly bumps Jongin’s shoulder with his and grins at him when Jongin casts him a slight glare. “You’re really not disappointed?” he asks.

"Maybe a little," Jongin admits, his eyes curving a little as he undoubtedly smiles; Chanyeol can't see behind the scarf. "I've always wanted a son, but that doesn't mean I'll love our daughter any less."

"What about your soccer dreams?" Chanyeol laughs, nudging Jongin lightly with an elbow.

Jongin nudges him back a little harder than necessary and Chanyeol loses his footing, almost tumbles straight off the sidewalk, but Jongin grabs his elbow quickly, reels him back in. "Sorry," he says, fingers tightening into his arm for a second as worry flashes through his eyes before he lets go. Chanyeol just shakes his head, ruffles Jongin's hair and laughs when he swats his hand away. "My soccer dreams can still happen," he huffs, and it takes Chanyeol a second to remember what they were talking about. "I'll take our daughter to a game."

"A daughter is going to be so hard, Jongin," Chanyeol says, except he sounds more like a whiny child. "All kids are hard, but a girl?"

"Are you scared?" Jongin asks in a teasing voice, his eyes bright in the growing darkness of the streets. Chanyeol isn't really sure how to answer him, though, licking his lips slowly as he shrugs and thinks. Lately he's felt more excited than scared. He's about to say so, when Jongin whispers, "I am. I'm terrified."

That's really the first time Jongin has admitted such a thing out loud, and Chanyeol almost stops walking in the middle of the sidewalk to look at him in surprise. Jongin just grabs his sleeve and tugs him along, looking straight ahead. His cheeks are a little pink but Chanyeol's unsure if that's from the cold or from embarrassment.

"It's not that I'm, you know, regretting anything," Jongin says when Chanyeol doesn't speak. "But it's even more real now, even more than when we got that first sonogram. You even said last time that Soojin didn't even look like she was pregnant but when we saw her today--she--" He lets out a deep breath, trying to calm himself. "It was obvious she was. And now it's not just some sexless blob, it's a girl. We're having a baby girl. In, what? Five months?" He laughs incredulously, glancing up at Chanyeol. "It's unreal."

"Is that what you've been thinking about this whole time?" Chanyeol asks quietly. "I was wondering if something was wrong."

Jongin shakes his head. "Nothing's wrong," he says. "I'm just...worrying. What if something goes wrong when we're so close? What if we're not the best parents for her? What if we do something wrong and--"

"Hey, hey," Chanyeol says soothingly. He winds an arm around Jongin's shoulders and squeezes him into his side. They're turning down the street toward their apartment, just another block away and it's much emptier here that he doesn't mind the closeness. "You heard Soojin. The baby is doing really well. Soojin is taking care of her wonderfully, and everything is going right. The baby will be fine. Nothing is going to go wrong."

"You can't know that for sure--"

"Yes, I can," Chanyeol says seriously, "I'm psychic."

Jongin snorts and shoves at him. Chanyeol just laughs as he stumbles away, holds his hands up before him to shield himself, but Jongin still manages to punch him weakly in the chest. "You're ridiculous," he mutters, shaking his head. He picks up his speed and rushes the last few feet to the doors to their apartment, pulling out his keycard to let them in.

Warmth fills Chanyeol's veins as they slip into the elevator and Jongin unwraps the scarf from around his neck. He catches the slight downward pull of his lips and he tugs Jongin close by the collar of his coat. Jongin's eyes widen for a second before Chanyeol kisses him lightly on the mouth, then again atop his head, letting the collar go to instead tuck his hand behind Jongin's neck and pull him into his chest. Jongin fits into him perfectly, sighing against him as Chanyeol notches his chin above his head.

"Don't worry so much," he says. "You're going to be a great dad, I know it. And even if you aren't, even if neither of us know what the fuck we're doing, we'll get through it. We will. Because we want this, right? And we want to make it work."

Jongin's arms wind around his waist and he squeezes him silently. The elevator dings as it reaches their floor and Jongin lets go first, turning swiftly around to head out the doors, not looking at him. Chanyeol thinks he might be crying, which just has him smiling a bit to himself as he follows Jongin down the hall. He's right, catching Jongin's face as they unbundle themselves, Jongin throwing his coat onto the couch as he passes to the kitchen.

"Jongin," Chanyeol says softly. Jongin is pinning the sonogram to the fridge with a strawberry magnet, right next to the first one. Jongin doesn't say anything, just stares at the photo, so Chanyeol walks up behind him and pulls him into his arms, pressing his chest to Jongin’s back. "Has Junmyeon's worrying rubbed off on you or something?"

An elbow gently rams into his stomach and Chanyeol feigns pain, but Jongin doesn't bite. Instead he just leans more comfortably back against him and says, "I can't help it."

"We're having a girl," Chanyeol says. "Our own daughter. We should celebrate, not worry about her before she's even here." He kisses the side of Jongin's neck. "If anything, we should worry about giving her a name."

Jongin groans. "Oh god, don't say that. I don't want to look at another list of baby names for at least a month."

Laughing, Chanyeol forcibly turns Jongin around so he's facing him and then says again, "Everything is going to be fine, okay? Please stop looking so sad."

"I'm not sad," Jongin says quickly. He loops his hands around Chanyeol's neck and draws him down until their lips are ghosting against each other. "I'm really, really happy. Fucking scared out of my mind, but happy." He kisses him then, his lips slowly widening into a grin until he pulls away with a laugh. "And you're right, I shouldn't worry so much just yet."

Chanyeol hums, nodding. "I'm always right," he says, smirking, and Jongin just rolls his eyes and silences him with a kiss.

-

The call comes one Tuesday evening in early July just as Chanyeol is packing up after his last class, startling him so much that he almost drops his stacks of papers to the ground. “Right now?” he exclaims into the phone. “Oh my god, okay, okay, Soojin, we’ll be right there. You just, do whatever you need to, I-I’ll call Jongin and we’ll be right there.”

“Relax, Chanyeol,” Soojin says with a slightly chuckle, “you’re not the one going in the middle of labor. Don’t rush too much, there’s still probably a few hours before delivery, okay?”

Chanyeol breathes deeply a few times, pausing in gathering up his things and just trying to calm down. “Right, right. Okay. I’ll talk to you soon. Call me if something happens, please.”

Soojin agrees and hangs up, and Chanyeol drops his phone onto his desk and braces himself against the ledge, taking a couple of more deep breaths. "Oh god," he mutters, running a hand through his hair and spinning around in a circle. "Oh god, oh god." He frantically shoves his things into his bag and grabs his phone, calling Jongin on his way out. He knows Jongin's at work and he hopes beyond hope he has his phone with him or is able to check it sooner than later.

He calls three times until Jongin finally picks up, sounding out of breath and surprised, "What's up, Chanyeol? You rarely ever call me while I'm at work."

"The baby's coming," Chanyeol says quickly as he gets into his car, tossing his bag into the backseat and cringing when the buckle pops and everything spills out onto the floor.

"What?!" Jongin exclaims so loudly that Chanyeol has to pull the phone away from his ear. "Right now? Did Soojin call you?"

"Yes, yes," Chanyeol says. "I'm leaving the university right now. Are you able to meet me there?"

"I-I'm fuck, we're still in the middle of a routine, I don't know if I can just leave. Fuck, fuck, fuck," Jongin rants, and Chanyeol feels a little sick to his stomach.

"Are you sure you can't--"

"I don't know, I don't know. You--just, you go, okay? I'll be there as soon as I can," Jongin says.

Chanyeol clenches his eyes shut tight and swallows thickly. "Okay, fine," he says, "just-just try your best."

He hangs up and tosses his phone onto the passenger's seat and scrubs at his face with his hands. He does his best to shake away all his nerves and then heads out onto the street to the hospital, trying not to think about Jongin not making it there in time. He will. He has to. There is no way Chanyeol can go through this alone.

Soojin is still in labor when Chanyeol arrives, and a nurse kindly shows him to an empty waiting room. After a few minutes of sitting around and staring at his phone nervously, he can't stand it, instead pacing the length of the room anxiously. His mind won't sit still; he can't believe he's finally here, waiting for his baby to be more. In a few hours, maybe, he will be able to hold her in his arms and take her home. The magnitude of it is making his heart race and he really does feel like he might be sick.

He itches to call Jongin again and find out where he is, if he's on his way or if he won't be able to make it, but just the idea of Jongin not being there makes him want to throw up. Instead he finally makes himself stop pacing, growing a little dizzy from the constant movement, and collapses into a chair in the corner, his head in his hands.

"Chanyeol!" Jongin's voice suddenly calls out, and Chanyeol jerks up into alertness quickly, eyes wide and searching. He finds Jongin just down the hall, rushing toward him in his usual black sweats and a loose t-shirt, his small gym bag slung over a shoulder; he really must have just run straight from the studio here. Chanyeol jumps to his feet and Jongin practically collides into him, eyes blazen. He's shaking a bit as Chanyeol hugs him quickly before pulling back. "How's it going? Have you heard anything?"

Chanyeol shakes his head. "No, no, I've just been waiting," he says. "I mean, a nurse said everything is going well, but I don't think the baby is quite there yet."

Jongin visibly sighs, his shoulders slumping as he steps away and backs up onto a chair, dumping his bag onto the floor. "Thank god," he says, "I thought I'd miss it."

"I might have never forgiven you if you had," Chanyeol laughs, only half-serious. Jongin smacks him in the chest, but a grin is tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"I might have never forgiven myself, too," he admits, and Chanyeol reaches out to squeeze his thigh gently.

With Jongin here, half of the anxiety bubbling throughout Chanyeol's veins fades away. He feels like he can finally breathe now, his mind much clearer as he just concentrates on their baby, on the excitement about it instead of the worry. These past few weeks as the date has gotten closer and closer, Jongin's neverending worry has rubbed off on him and Chanyeol doesn't think he'll ever be free of it until he's got his baby girl in his hands and the confirmation from the doctors that she is perfectly healthy.

Soon, he thinks, closing his eyes tightly and trying desperately not to let the emotions overflow, so soon.

They wait maybe an hour before a nurse stops by to let them know the actual delivery has begun, that it really shouldn't be much longer until the baby crowns. Jongin is clutching onto Chanyeol's arm as she talks, digging his fingernails so hard into his skin Chanyeol's pretty sure it will bruise, but in his current state, he barely feels it. Chanyeol decides to send out a few messages to his mom and Yura and Jongin's sisters about the baby as Jongin takes to tapping his feet against the floor to some rhythm in his head.

Then finally, finally a nurse runs over with a bright smile on her face and Chanyeol nudges Jongin repeatedly in the sides as he gets to his feet. “What--” Jongin starts with a glare, but then he seems to notice the nurse, too, and he’s standing up quickly, grabbing Chanyeol’s arm again tightly.

The nurse’s smile widens as she says, "The baby is here, she's doing just fine." And with that, all the worry, all the tension, it just fades straight out of Chanyeol’s body, almost a bit too fast because he suddenly feels lightheaded, like all that uncertainty was keeping him together and now--His knees weak, he almost collapses, but Jongin rushes to slide an arm around him, drawing him up steadily and letting him lean into him to keep from fainting.

“Are you okay?” he asks, eyes concerned.

Chanyeol’s not entirely sure, but he just nods. "I'm fine," he says, and turns back to the nurse. "S-She's okay?"

The nurse nods. "She's wonderful, and Soojin is doing just great, too. We're cleaning them both up and moving Soojin to another room and we'll come get you in a bit."

“Thank you,” Jongin says with a small bow, and once she leaves, he ushers Chanyeol back to his seat and peers into his face. “Are you really okay?”

“I’ll be fine,” he says, waving Jongin off. “I’m just, freaking out suddenly. She’s here, Jongin, she’s finally here.”

“I know,” Jongin replies softly, and Chanyeol can tell he’s just minutes away from crying. He’s going to, the second he walks into that room and sees his daughter. Chanyeol is pretty sure right now that he might be crying himself, too.

“Don’t let me faint while I’m holding her, okay?” he says and Jongin chuckles, presses a quick kiss to his forehead.

When they're finally allowed into the room, Chanyeol is a bundle of nervousness. Soojin is resting on the one bed and opens her mouth to greet them excitedly but doesn't even get the chance before Jongin is thanking her profusely, bowing again and again.

"Oh boys, stop," she says, waving her hands at them when Chanyeol joins Jongin in his thanks. Shes smiling at them warmly, that same smile that has calmed Chanyeol down many times throughout the process and it doesn't fail now. He lets out a puff of air and slides his hand down Jongin's arm until their hands link together.

A sudden knock at the door has them jumping, and Chanyeol's heart leaps into his throat when he turns and finds his baby girl in the arms of one of the nurses. Beside him, Jongin grips his hand even tighter, squeezing so hard that it almost feels like the blood to his fingers has been cut off. He glances at Jongin and sure enough, he’s crying, covering half his face with his other hand as tears brim along his eyes and he sniffles. He doesn’t even turn to Chanyeol, his gaze trained on their daughter as the nurse steps into the room with a kind smile and stops right in front of Chanyeol.

“Would you like to hold her?” she asks and Chanyeol opens his mouth but nothing comes out. He nods, quickly, instead, and Jongin releases his hand so Chanyeol can raise his arms. The nurse carefully directs him on how to hold the baby’s head and cradle her in against his chest and Chanyeol feels like he’s holding something made out of glass. But when he finally looks down at his daughter, really looks at her, his heart just melts.

She’s beautiful. He knew she would be, but she’s even more beautiful than he could have ever imagined. Wrapped up in a soft pink blanket and a matching pink cap, she has soft pale skin and an adorable little nose and--

“Oh god, I think she has your ears,” Jongin cries as he walks around to stand in front of Chanyeol and peer down at their daughter.

Chanyeol lets out a laugh that sounds more like a sob, and he didn’t even realize he was crying, too, but suddenly there’s tears swimming around in his vision and this thickness in his throat and he doesn’t feel like he can even speak, too in awe of the beautiful girl, his beautiful girl, in his arms.

“Hello, Misun,” he manages to say eventually, as Jongin’s sobs get a little louder and he reaches a finger out to touch their tiny hands. “Hello, Misun, I’m your daddy--oh god,” he laughs incredulously, glances up to meet Jongin’s watery eyes as his heart threatens to burst out of his chest. He’s overwhelmed, he doesn’t think he’s ever felt anything quite like this before. He sucks in a shaky breath that turns into another laugh of disbelief, and then Jongin is there, curling a hand around the back of his neck and leaning up to kiss the corner of his mouth. It’s comforting, it’s just what he needs, and he looks back down at his daughter as Jongin leans his head against his shoulder and cries, and says, “I’m so happy you’re finally here.”

-

The bed creaks loudly as Jongin climbs upon it, up onto Chanyeol too, flopping down against his chest with a low exhale.

"She's finally asleep," he murmurs into Chanyeol's neck and Chanyeol wraps his arms around his waist. It's about two in the morning and Misun has been crying on and off since midnight. "But I'm sure she's gonna wake up in five minutes."

"Don't say that or she really will," Chanyeol groans, blinking his eyes open to the darkness of their bedroom and glanced at Jongin's face. "Let's try to sleep as much as we can before she--"

A sharp cry pierces through the silence of their apartment and Jongin slumps unhappily against him with a whine. "Your turn," he says, rolling off of Chanyeol and onto his side of the bed. Misun's crying gets louder and Chanyeol rubs at his face before he climbs out of bed. He passes by Jjanggu and Potato who have both perked up from the noises in their little doggie beds by the window and says, “Stay,” to make sure they don’t follow him. They whine but curl back down to sleep, and Chanyeol sighs as he heads into the room across the hall.

Misun is lying in the cute crib that his parents had gotten for her, snug in a little floral onesie, her face scrunched up in an unhappy cry. Chanyeol shushes her soothingly as he picks her up and holds her against him, slowly rocking her side to side. "Go to sleep sweet Misun," he says as calmly as he can manage. It's been a week since they brought her home, and Chanyeol realized within the first few hours that he really had no idea what he was getting himself into. The moments when Misun is not crying are wonderful; she's really the most beautiful thing he's ever seen, and Chanyeol loves nothing more than being able to lie with her and play with her, to see if she will smile at him, stare at him with her pretty little eyes. But when she's crying like this, it's so difficult to calm her down and this past week has been a complete test. His mother laughed at him when he'd called her the second night, frustrated and near tears because Misun wouldn't stop wailing, no matter how he and Jongin tried to pacify her.

Chanyeol settles down into the chair beside the crib that Jongin had pulled in from the dining table the first night and holds Misun steady in an arm. He whispers softly to her, just sounds of nonsense as the brushes her tiny wisps of black hair back from her face. "Come on Misun, please sleep," he says, "don't you want your daddy to sleep, too?"

Misun just hiccups out a cry, her little hands fisting into the air like she's trying to aim a punch at him. Chanyeol lets out a deep sigh and gently rocks her again. "I know you're not hungry, and Jongin just changed you, so come on, go to sleep, please?"

"I don't think that will work," Jongin says, an amused lilt to his voice. Chanyeol turns to find him leaning against the doorway with a sleepy smile.

"You should be sleeping, too, Jongin," he chides, but Jongin shakes his head.

"I can't, not when she's--" He makes an airy gesture toward Misun and sighs, drops his hand. "Do you want some tea?"

"We'll be up all night if we have any of that right now."

"I think we will be regardless," Jongin points out with a small laugh. "I'll go put on the kettle. You should try giving her the pacifier. She kept rejecting it earlier, but."

"I'll try," Chanyeol says, already on his feet again and heading for the small dresser they'd bought and set up on the far side of the room. He grabs the pacifier from the top and says, "Here, Misun-ah, can you at least use this?"

To his surprise, Misun allows him to slide the pacifier into her mouth, her cries stopping and the tension in her tiny body fading away as she instantly relaxes. Chanyeol exhales deeply in relief and returns to the chair to rest, holding Misun in his arms. He can hear Jongin tinkering around in the kitchen and he listens to that to help himself stay as awake as he possibly can.

It isn’t long before Jongin returns, two steaming mugs of tea in his hands. He sets them down onto the dresser and then walks over to Chanyeol, holding his arms out for Misun. She’s quieted down completely now, eyes closed and dark eyelashes stark against her cheeks. Chanyeol hands her over and she whines a little around her pacifier, and they both pause, watching her closely until she settles down against Jongin’s chest. Jongin sighs and Chanyeol pushes a hand through his hair as he gets out of the chair, retrieves his mug and takes a very soothing sip.

He watches as Jongin gently sways Misun to sleep, murmuring soothing noises beneath his breath. A warm sort of fondness spreads throughout Chanyeol’s chest, even at two in the morning when he’s been living off of maybe eight hours of sleep total this whole week, he really wouldn’t change anything about this moment at all. He smiles around the rim of his mug and just enjoys seeing his two favorite people together like this; Jongin with his messy bed hair, clad in just a pair of old sweats, and Misun, wrapped up cutely in his arms, finally asleep.

Jongin sets her carefully back into the crib and eases her pacifier out of her mouth. He waits there, a few minutes to make sure she doesn’t wake up again, and thankfully she doesn’t. Chanyeol sighs, whispers, “Come on,” and takes Jongin’s mug for him, heading for the couch. He’s so tired but he doesn’t think he will be able to fall asleep, and the tea is doing a really good job of calming him down. Maybe by the time he finishes drinking, he’ll be able to sleep properly, as long as Misun doesn’t wake up again.

Jongin joins him on the couch a few minutes later, placing the baby monitor from their bedroom onto the coffee table and then taking his own mug of tea. He curls up against Chanyeol’s left side, shuddering a little as Chanyeol wraps an arm around him and rubs his hand down his bare arm.

“Are you cold?” he asks quietly, and Jongin shakes his head, just snuggles in a little closer.

“I’m fine,” he replies. “You’re warm.”

Chanyeol smiles and squeezes him gently and Jongin rests his head onto Chanyeol’s shoulder, the heat of his breath sinking through the fabric of Chanyeol’s light shirt and into his veins. Despite the sleep-deprivation and the frantic realization of not knowing how to change a diaper or warm up baby formula, despite the frustrated tears the first night when Misun cried for hours and they didn’t know what to do, Chanyeol finds comfort right now in the fact that he’s not going through any of this alone. Jongin is right here beside him, solid and warm and just as tired as he is. Together he thinks they will be able get through this.

“I love you,” Chanyeol says as he turns toward Jongin. He laughs when he realizes Jongin has fallen asleep, face smooth and soft in his slumber and Chanyeol shakes his head at him lightly, reaches over to tug his mug out of his hand and return it to the coffee table with his own. He draws Jongin a little closer and rests his head atop Jongin’s, his eyes fluttering shut instantaneously as sleep starts to claim him. They will both probably be up in a few hours when Misun undoubtedly cries again, but for now, Chanyeol will enjoy what he can get, and this right now is more than enough.

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