k-pop; promise you forever 1/5

[tatoeba]

Title: Promise you forever
Pairing: Chanyeol/Jongin (minor side Yifan/Yixing, Junmyeon/Eunji, Kyungsoo/Minah, Jongdae/Sunyoung)
Rating: NC-17
Summary: AU. Jongin and Chanyeol decide to have a baby.
Author’s Note: 44140 words. OMG IT’S DONE! i started this for nanowrimo and it's finally done! i just really REALLY wanted to write domestic!kaiyeol with a kid, so that’s what this is.

→please note that idk anything about how same-sex marriage works in korea so this is just what i went with from the info i could find
→misun means “beauty and goodness” according to the internets :3
→the title comes from the song wherever you are by one ok rock which i listened to a lot while writing this ♫
→LOTS OF LOVE AND THANK YOUS to my awesome tlist who listened to me cry over this fic for far too long ;~; especially ang, jay and lonio my kaiyeol buddies ilu ( ˘ ³˘)❤



A fluff of brown hair pops up over Chanyeol’s shoulder behind him as he stares into the mirror, slowly grinning around his toothbrush as warm hands slide around his bare waist. Jongin’s hands clasp just around his belly button and he presses this tiny kiss to the back of Chanyeol’s neck, still slightly damp from his shower.

“Are you sure you want to tell them already?” Jongin asks and he notches his chin on Chanyeol’s right shoulder. “We don’t really have anything figured out yet. You know they’re going to ask like a hundred questions the second we bring it up.”

“That’s okay,” Chanyeol says around his mouthful of minty toothpaste. He leans forward to spit in the sink, Jongin practically following his movements like he’s a koala stuck to his body, and then leans back up. “I think that since we’ve decided, we should tell the parents right away. They’ll know more about what to do than us, anyway.”

Jongin laughs, his breath tickling Chanyeol’s skin enough that he squirms away until Jongin lets him go entirely. “Good point,” he says over the rush of the faucet as Chanyeol flips the tap and rinses out his mouth. He sticks his toothbrush into the little holder beside Jongin’s blue one and then turns to greet his boyfriend with a kiss on the mouth.

“It’ll be fine,” Chanyeol says, because the anxiousness in Jongin’s eyes is swimming in his own veins. He’s excited, sure, because this is a decision the two of them have considered for a very long time, but there’s so many things to think about, to plan, that the worry is heavier than the happiness. “Remember how my mom asked us about this two years ago on Christmas? She’s going to be thrilled.”

“I’ll never forget your face then,” Jongin snickers, leaving the bathroom to walk into their connecting bedroom. He heads straight for the closet and Chanyeol follows, stopping by the bed to pet Jjanggu who has snuggled into the covers. He always claims the bed the second it’s empty. Chanyeol’s sure Potato is off chewing on Jongin’s favorite boots while no one is looking. Chanyeol grins at the fluffy poodle, Jjanggu barking softly twice before finding Chanyeol boring and walking up the bed to lay across Jongin’s pillow instead. Chanyeol decides not to disturb him any longer and heads for the closet, leaning against the doorframe to watch as Jongin sifts through hangers of clothes.

“Hey, you looked pretty embarrassed, too,” Chanyeol replies, and he points to the red and blue striped sweater that Jongin is holding up. Jongin grins, sliding the ugly plaid shirt back onto the rack and slipping the sweater off its hanger. He yanks it over his head, tugs the hem down to meet the top of his dark, form fitting jeans. Chanyeol instantly reaches out to pull him in close, hooking fingers into the belt loops and laughing when Jongin trips over a pair of shoes on the floor. He kisses him again, slow and unhurried, just appreciating the fullness of Jongin’s lips and the heat from his body as he wraps his arms around him again.

“We’re gonna be late if you keep stopping to do this,” Jongin murmurs into his mouth. “Your mom said to be there at noon.”

“Relax,” Chanyeol says. “It’ll be fine. Just like telling them we’re ready to have a kid will be fine, too.”

Jongin’s brows furrow cutely and he squeezes his arms around Chanyeol’s waist, uncertain. “I’m not so sure about that one,” he says. “Aren’t you freaking out even a little?”

Chanyeol barks out a laugh, “Of course!” He pulls out of Jongin’s hold and looks through his own clothes to find something appropriate to wear that his mother won’t grumble at him about. “We want to have a baby. This is some serious shit, even I know that.” He smiles at Jongin. “But regardless of what our parents say, we’re going to go through with it, right? It’s something we decided.”

The uncertainty in Jongin’s face fades a little as he smiles, showing off pretty white teeth. The tension in his shoulders eases and he takes a deep breath, nods. “Right,” he says. “We want our own family.”

The words make Chanyeol’s heart oh so warm. A family. Their family. Him and Jongin and their new son or daughter. The idea, years ago, had seemed like a far-off dream, but now. Now it’s almost within reach. Now that they have decided that, yes, this is what they want to do, this is where they want to go, it seems like there’s no turning back. Chanyeol doesn’t want to turn back, anyway. He can’t think of anything more fulfilling in his life right now than to welcome a baby into his and Jongin’s home and raise it together.

“What sort of disgusting expression is that?” Jongin questions, an amused lilt to his voice as he gets into Chanyeol’s face and peers at him.

“It’s an I’m-so-happy-we’re-doing-this expression,” Chanyeol retorts and he reaches out a hand to pinch Jongin in the side, grinning when Jongin yelps and bats his hand away. Jongin pouts at him, smacks him once more for good measure, and then walks out of the closet, leaving Chanyeol alone to dress himself.

Chanyeol just puts on the first clean button-up he can find and pulls on a pair of faded jeans. He figures it will do, and once he and Jongin drop the bomb on his parents, the last thing his mom will do is bitch about his clothing choices. He snags a snapback from the top shelf and slips it onto his head backwards.

Jongin is pulling out the pie from the fridge that he’d bought last night to bring over to Chanyeol’s parent’s home and is slipping it into a nice paper bag to carry. Potato runs around excitedly at his feet, jumping up for attention, but Jongin doesn’t seem to notice. The creases in his forehead tell Chanyeol he’s still a little wary about this whole thing.

“If you’re gonna keep making that face, I’m gonna start thinking you’re getting second thoughts,” Chanyeol says softly and Jongin whips his head up to look at him, eyes wide.

“No! No,” he exclaims, waving hands in front of him. “I’m not. Really. I’m just.” He sighs deeply, runs a hand through his hair. “I just want to be able to tell my parents about this, too.”

In two quick strides, Chanyeol is pulling Jongin into his arms, his chest tightening painfully because he forgot, like he usually does after so long. “I’m sorry,” he says but Jongin shakes his head. “Do you want to still tell them? You should still tell them. Even if they don’t--”

“No,” Jongin says quietly. “It’s okay. They don’t need to know right now, when nothing is even figured out. Maybe after we have the baby, then. Then I’ll call them.”

Chanyeol likes this idea. He gently threads his fingers through Jongin’s hair and says, “Well, we can see if Jaehwa-noona or Sunjung-noona are available today, you know they’ll definitely want to hear the news.” He lets out a soft laugh and draws back to look at Jongin’s face. “Plus if we don’t stop by and see Yura, she’ll kill us both, so, we can visit all our sisters if that works out.”

Jongin’s small laugh has Chanyeol hugging him tight once more until Jongin groans and shoves him away. “Okay, okay,” he says, now looking a little embarrassed. “I’m fine, Chanyeol. I’m used to it. Not sharing important things with my parents.”

Chanyeol bites his tongue from saying that he shouldn’t have to be used to it because he knows now is not the time or place to get into that. It’s been many, many years since Jongin told his parents the truth, many years since Jongin told them about Chanyeol, and even though Jongin speaks to his mom once or twice every few months, it’s not the same as Chanyeol, who hears from his parents so often that he sometimes can’t stand it. He wants Jongin to be able to tell his parents about their plans, too, would love for them to be a part of the process, but right now it’s not an option and they both know it. There’s no point in dwelling on it.

“Should we go?” Chanyeol asks, and Jongin seems to snap out of his thoughts with a quick nod. Chanyeol picks up the bag off the counter and Jongin grabs their coats from the hall closet, and they suit up for the autumn chill in quiet. In the elevator, Jongin leans against Chanyeol, resting his head onto his shoulder and sighing deeply.

“Hey,” Jongin says softly as they move from the 8th floor to the 7th, “I’m so happy we’re doing this, too.”

Chanyeol has to close his eyes so he can’t see the big, dumb grin on his face in the elevator’s mirrored doors. “I know,” he says back, and slips his hand into Jongin’s.

-

Chanyeol’s mother greets Jongin like he’s her own son, which, even after eight years of being together, Chanyeol knows makes Jongin feel unbelievably happy. She fusses over him like she does with Chanyeol (albeit much more nicer, if you ask Chanyeol), tugging gently at his hair and reprimanding Jongin to get it cut and complaining that he’s definitely lost weight since the last time she saw him. She ushers him indoors, barely even sparing Chanyeol a glance, but Chanyeol is fine with that. He knows why she does it; it’s the same reason she calls Jongin on his birthday, gets him a present on Christmas even when Jongin insists it’s okay, and invites them over for Chuseok every year they’ve been together. Jongin knows it, too, that she tries to make up for Jongin’s parents who aren’t a part of his life, and Jongin is always glowing with big, bright smiles after talking to Chanyeol’s mom or spending time with her.

“It’s like you’re trying to replace me with Jongin,” Chanyeol teases as he joins them in the kitchen. He kisses his mother on the cheek when she playfully swats in his direction with a spatula.

“Well, I am the better choice,” Jongin says, and Chanyeol is glad to see the earlier distress has faded from his eyes.

“Yes, and he doesn’t look like a homeless person, either,” his mother adds, brows furrowing as she takes Chanyeol’s jaw in her hand and peers at his scruff. Chanyeol was too lazy to bother shaving that morning.

“Hey, I’m going for a manly look,” Chanyeol says and Jongin and his mother share a look before they both burst out into laughter. He groans, shaking his head, and jumps a bit when a hand clasps his shoulder. He turns to find his father smiling bemusedly at him.

“It’s just best to leave them at it,” he says and nods toward the living room. Chanyeol follows him out of the kitchen, glancing over his shoulder to see his mother patting Jongin’s cheek and handing him a wooden spoon. Jongin catches his gaze and he smiles softly at him, eyes warm and happy, and Chanyeol returns it easily.

It’s not until they’ve made it halfway through lunch that Chanyeol gently nudges Jongin’s foot, raising his eyebrows expectantly at him across the table. Jongin licks his lips, but nods, and Chanyeol takes a deep breath.

“Jongin and I, we’ve been discussing something important for awhile,” Chanyeol starts, and he’s suddenly feeling nervous, with the way his parents have stopped eating entirely to stare at him. He glances at Jongin for encouragement, but Jongin smiles broadly at him and says, “We want to start our own family. We want--well, we want a baby.”

Breathing deeply now that it’s out in the open, Chanyeol slides his hand across the table to squeeze Jongin’s. “Yeah, that,” he says, when his parents look shocked into silence. Except that only lasts a few seconds and then his mother nearly topples her chair backwards in her haste to pull Jongin, who is sitting beside her, into a giant hug.

“That’s wonderful!” she exclaims, tears in her eyes already, and her enthusiasm is enough to break the tension. Jongin laughs incredulously as he hugs her back, and Chanyeol sags back in his chair, letting out a heavy sigh. He looks to his father, who seems much more contemplative about this than excited, but he understands that, too. There’s a lot of think about, and Chanyeol has been torn between wanting to flail from happiness and wanting to hide from all the uncertainties.

Before he can ask his dad what he thinks, he’s being pulled out his chair by his mother. She presses kisses to both of his cheeks, holding his face between her small hands, and she looks so thrilled that Chanyeol feels impossibly happy, too.

“Oh, this is great news,” she says, hugging him again. “Have you been thinking about this for awhile?”

“Almost a year,” Jongin answers. He’s settled back in his chair and is picking around at his food with his chopsticks.

“We just fully decided maybe a week or two ago,” Chanyeol adds, laughing as his mother smooshes his face in her hands and then lets go, returning to her seat. She dabs at the corner of her eyes with her napkin. “We think we’re ready.”

“If you’re going to do this,” Chanyeol’s father says, finally speaking up and looking between Chanyeol and Jongin seriously, “have you considered getting married, first? It’s not the easiest thing to do here, but…”

Chanyeol blinks. He looks at Jongin, who has paused in raising a piece of meat to his face, mouth hanging open. Chanyeol narrows his eyes, smacks a hand onto the table and points at Jongin’s face, “Yeah, Jongin. Where’s your proposal?”

Jongin splutters, setting his food back down to point back at Chanyeol dramatically, “What happened to yours? If I remember correctly, you said about three years ago you had this elaborate surprise proposal planned but that never happened, did it?”

“That was only because you said something stupid about how it’d be awesome to a cosplay wedding and I told you there was no way I’d dress up as Sephiroth just to fulfill your weird nerdy fantasies--”

Chanyeol’s parents both laugh then, cutting over the rest of Chanyeol’s words and Jongin’s inevitable retort. Jongin looks embarrassed now, dropping his hands to his lap and his gaze onto his place and Chanyeol just grins, slowly, leaning over the table to poke his outstretched finger into Jongin’s forehead. He retreats before Jongin can retaliate, and when he looks at his parents, they are grinning in amusement.

“I think you might be ready, too,” his father says, which is more than Chanyeol ever expected to hear. He knew his father, while supportive, would be a little more wary about the whole thing. “But you know, there’s a lot you need to figure out. It won’t be as easy, for the two of you.”

“We know,” Chanyeol says, smiling as he feels Jongin slide a socked foot around his ankle beneath the table. “We’re prepared for that.”

“It’ll be worth it,” Jongin adds. “We want to do this. We think it’s a good time.” He turns to Chanyeol. “Though you’re right, getting married might be something we need to do, first.”

Chanyeol nods enthusiastically. They’ve been together for nearly ten years that it already feels like they are married, which is probably why they never even considered that as the first step in order to go through with the whole baby thing. But now that it’s been brought up, Chanyeol doesn’t know how they could’ve missed it. He looks at Jongin and he thinks of being able to call him his husband, thinks of being able to truly and legally be bound to him and he thinks, well, that sounds pretty fucking amazing. Chanyeol is already thinking about calling Zitao; he knows the best jewelry places in Seoul and can point Chanyeol toward a shop that would have rings suited for him and Jongin.

“Well, this calls for celebrating, I think,” Chanyeol’s mother says, clapping her hands together. “We can pull out that bottle of champagne. Honey, why don’t you get that pie Jongin brought for us from the fridge?” She pats at her husband before rushing off into the kitchen. Chanyeol’s dad sighs exaggeratedly, but then grins at the two of them before he follows.

The second they’re gone, Jongin slides out of his chair and slips onto Chanyeol’s lap, hooking his arms around his neck and kissing him once, twice, three times in quick succession, his lips stretching wider with each press of their mouths.

“I love your parents,” Jongin says as Chanyeol settles his hands on Jongin’s waist, rubs tiny circles into the skin where his sweater rides up with his thumb.

“They love you, too,” Chanyeol says seriously. “I think we just made my mom’s year with the news.”

Jongin laughs. “So about this marriage thing,” he says slowly, playing with the buttons on Chanyeol’s shirt. “Do you really want to?”

“Of course,” Chanyeol says firmly. “We should’ve done it years ago.”

“Better late than never, right?” Jongin says. “We’re gonna have to call Junmyeon-hyung when we get home. He’s been nagging us about that for so long, he’ll be pissed if we don’t tell him right away.”

“Yeah, yeah, later,” Chanyeol says, nosing along Jongin’s jaw and pressing fleeting kisses along under his chin. “When we get home, we’re celebrating first. By ourselves.”

Jongin snorts. “That would be your first concern,” he says, but his breath hitches when Chanyeol lightly nips at his earlobe. “Stop! Your parents,” he hisses, punching Chanyeol weakly in the chest.

Chanyeol just kisses him instead, until Jongin relaxes in his grip and Chanyeol’s father exclaims, “Not where we eat, boys!”

Jongin practically bolts out of Chanyeol’s arms, while Chanyeol laughs loudly and his face undoubtedly goes a little lopsided like it does whenever he’s highly amused. Jongin is trying to bury his face into Chanyeol’s shoulder, and Chanyeol slides an arm around his waist reassuringly. His father just looks amused, and Chanyeol feels like his heart is going to burst.

“I love you,” he whispers to Jongin, who is flushed pink in the face and looking anywhere but at Chanyeol’s parents, but he still manages to whisper the words back and follows them with a kiss.

-

The spare bedroom in their apartment has collected piles and piles of things that neither Jongin or Chanyeol have been able to throw out. Old clothes, a busted television, DVD cases that are missing the disc, and stacks of books, everything from Chanyeol’s favorite novels and music books to Jongin’s volumes upon volumes of manga. An old desk that Chanyeol used to use for work is pushed into the corner, one of the legs broken and they never got around to getting rid of it. His three guitars rest against a wall on stands, next to Jongin’s soccer ball and cleats.

“This is going to take us a year to clean out,” Jongin says, sitting on the floor among a pile of clothes and large black trash bags. He wrinkles his nose at an ugly Christmas sweater that Sehun had gotten for him a few years ago and stuffs it into a bag.

“We’ll get through it,” Chanyeol says. “Besides, if we’re going ahead with the surrogate thing, it’s gonna take almost ten months for the baby to be born anyway.”

“I know,” Jongin says. “I just want to do something. We’re lucky, that we don’t have to actually carry around a baby for practically a year. We just have to make the space for it. I want the baby’s room to be perfect.”

Chanyeol pats Jongin’s thigh. “It will be,” he says confidently. They’ve already discussed painting the walls a soft yellow, putting up cute pictures and buying a nice crib. They want to fill the room with plush animals and toys. It will be the best room ever. Once they manage to clean it out, that is.

“Do you want to keep these?” Jongin asks Chanyeol, holding up a couple of old t-shirts. Chanyeol shakes his head and Jongin shoves them into the bag. “I think we’re gonna be getting rid of most of this.”

“Probably a good thing,” Chanyeol says. He tosses a pair of jeans that are a size too small for him into the bag as well. “The more space the better.”

Jongin makes a whining noise in the back of his throat as he pushes a pair of sneakers and a few more shirts into bags. His shoulders slump a bit as he glances around the room and heaves a big sigh just as there’s a loud knock from down the hall. Chanyeol gets to his feet and ruffles Jongin’s hair as he mutters, “This is going to take forever,” and leaves the room to check on who’s at the door.

“I brought dinner,” Kyungsoo says, holding up a plastic bag and a smile when Chanyeol opens the door for him.

“You’re the best,” Chanyeol says earnestly, taking the bag from him and holding the door back so Kyungsoo can slip inside. “You didn’t have to do that, though.”

Kyungsoo shrugs, pulling off his coat and hanging it up in the closet. “I heard from Jongin about all the cleaning you’re doing. I was gonna stop by anyway to pick up that DVD Jongin wanted me to watch.”

“I could’ve just brought that over for you at work on Monday,” Chanyeol replies, leading the way into the kitchen to grab some plates and silverware.

“Maybe I just wanted to come over and see my friends, then,” Kyungsoo says, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Lies,” Chanyeol exclaims, pointing a fork into Kyungsoo’s face. “You act like you don’t even know me sometimes when we’re on campus.”

Kyungsoo smirks. “Because you usually look like one of the students and I don’t want people to get confused.”

“Hey! If anyone looks like a kid here, it’s you,” Chanyeol retorts. “What with you being so small and--”

His words are cut off by Jongin, who stumbles into the kitchen, his eyes lighting up when he sees Kyungsoo and then the bag of takeout on the counter. “You brought food?” he asks Kyungsoo, walking over to flop onto Kyungsoo’s back, notching his chin atop of his head. “You’re the best, hyung.”

“I know,” Kyungsoo laughs, patting Jongin on the arm. “Now get off me, before your fiance throws that fork at me.”

Jongin doesn’t move, just mumbles, “He’s not my fiance because he hasn’t proposed,” and then he sticks his tongue out at Chanyeol.

“Why do I have to do all the work?” Chanyeol questions as he pulls out the small boxes of food from the bag. His stomach grumbles at the delicious smells, and he didn’t realize just how hungry he was. He and Jongin have been so focused on the cleaning that food has barely been on their mind that day.

“Why not?” Jongin counters childishly and he laughs loudly when Kyungsoo reaches behind him to tickle his side. He finally lets go, slipping away to grab a plate and start piling rice and pieces of chicken onto it.

Kyungsoo nudges Jongin in the elbow as he joins them up at the counter and takes the plate Chanyeol holds out for him. “Do you even care if he proposes? You guys could just go look at rings together,” he says and he makes a good point, if it wasn’t for the fact that Chanyeol has already looked and has found what he thinks is the perfect pair. There’s still one other shop on the list Zitao had given him and Chanyeol wants to check their collection before he decides on buying anything, but he thinks the ones he’s found are just right for him and Jongin. Nothing too flashy, nothing too expensive. Just right.

He hasn’t mentioned that to anyone else though, so he just laughs and says, “Jongin is secretly a romantic and he probably wants to feel special so I guess I have to do it.”

Jongin reaches across the counter to punch him in the shoulder while Kyungsoo tilts his head and says, “Wait, Jongin being a romantic was a secret?”

Chanyeol laughs even harder at the wounded expression Jongin turns onto Kyungsoo, who just gives him a smug look and pops a piece of chicken into his mouth.

“Nevermind,” he says around his chopsticks, pulling his plate of food to his chest like it’s shielding him. “I don’t want to marry you.”

Chanyeol just smiles, appeasing him by dropping a few extra pieces of chicken onto his plate. It works like a charm, as usual, and he’s rewarded with Jongin’s beautiful smile within seconds.

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes at them. “You guys are practically married already,” he says and it makes Jongin flush, casting his gaze down to his food and stuffing his mouth with rice so he doesn’t have to say anything.

“Yeah,” Chanyeol agrees, smiling at Jongin, the way his hair falls into his face and how he sucks at the end of his chopsticks in between bites, “but it will be nice to make it official.”

Jongin’s lips tug up at the corner around his utensils at his words, even as Kyungsoo chuckles, shaking his head like they’re completely hopeless. They probably are, but Chanyeol thinks he’s okay with that.

“It will,” Kyungsoo says with a grin, and when Jongin looks up to meet Chanyeol’s eyes, Chanyeol thinks that that day can’t come soon enough.

-

It’s a lot easier to get in touch with a surrogate than Chanyeol was expecting, but he really has his mother to thank for that. Apparently she talked to a friend of a friend of a friend and got the information of a young woman not much older than Chanyeol and Jongin themselves named Lee Soojin. She’s done quite a few surrogacies already and within the next month, Chanyeol and Jongin meet up with her twice. She’s pretty and kind with a nice smile and small frame, much smaller than Chanyeol who is used to towering over people. She listens happily to their reasons of wanting to be parents, their hope of starting their own family, and she tells them she’d be happy to carry their baby for them.

They figure out all the little details on their second visit, payment options and whether they’re going to use donor sperm or their own.

“Our own, of course!” Chanyeol said quickly, pulling a startled laugh from Soojin. Jongin clenched his hand around Chanyeol’s and said it should be Chanyeol, because Chanyeol was the one to first bring this whole thing up, first to be brave enough to try.

He smiled at him then and added, “Next time...if we decide, it can be me,” and it was difficult for Chanyeol not to just kiss him right then and there.

And after that, everything falls into place. All they have to really do now is wait.

“You’re just kids, how are you going to raise a kid?” Yura asks when Chanyeol meets up with her for lunch on a Saturday. Jongin had to go in for work, the new girl group he’s doing the choreography for is set to debut in a couple of months and he’s been busy even on the weekends.

“I’m not a kid, noona,” Chanyeol laughs. “I’m 31, okay?”

Yura sighs and takes a sip of her coffee. “You’re still a kid to me,” she says. “Jongin, too! I mean, you guys still mostly wake up at three in the afternoon on the weekends and spend your whole day playing video games.”

Chanyeol sheepishly rubs the back of his neck at that comment because it’s, well, mostly true. “We know it’s not going to be easy. It’s not like we woke up one day and just decided out of nowhere to have a baby, you know.”

“What did make you decide then?” she asks curiously, glancing up at him as she pierces a small baby tomato with her fork and pops it into her mouth.

So many things, Chanyeol thinks. Watching the way Jongin plays with their puppies and wondering what it’d be like to see him play with their own child. Seeing mothers with their kids whenever he goes out, unable to hide the smiles on his faces as the kids whine about wanting their favorite cookies and even crying at their parents’ stern glares. He’d caught the tail end of an American movie on TV once, one he hasn’t heard of before, but he stopped to watch anyway, as the father tucked his kids into bed and kissed them on the forehead before saying “goodnight.” There’s the way Junmyeon is with Daeho, constantly worrying over his four-year-old son and trying to spend as much time with him as possible. Daeho, who looks just like Junmyeon and makes fun of his dad’s ugly sweaters and clings to Chanyeol whenever they come over for dinner.

Chanyeol just smiles, offers Yura a small shrug. “I don’t know,” he tells her in the end. “I like kids, I always have.”

“You are good with them,” Yura admits. “I’m pretty sure my boys like you more than me.”

“Only because I’m the cool uncle who spoils them,” Chanyeol laughs and Yura grins. “I’m sure it’ll be just like that for you, once our baby comes.”

Yura’s grin gets wider. “Oh, I hope you have a girl,” she says excitedly. “I will have so much fun buying her cute things.”

Chanyeol hasn’t even thought that far ahead, whether he wants a boy or girl. He’s not really sure, now that he thinks about it. He doesn’t really mind, either way. For him and Jongin, having a baby isn’t the easiest thing in the world, and he’ll be happy no matter what to just have a beautiful, healthy baby that is his. He does wonder what Jongin wants though, and makes a mental note to ask him about it later.

“I’m really excited, noona,” he says, leaning back in his chair and smiling. Yura looks at him a little fondly, eyes soft. “This is all so overwhelming, but I can’t believe we’re doing it.”

“I can’t believe it either,” she says, but then reaches over to pat his hand. “You’ll make a great dad. You might still be a kid, but I know you can do it.”

Chanyeol’s heart feels warm. “Thanks,” he says, and he hopes Yura doesn’t catch the way he sounds a little choked up. How embarrassing, he thinks. He’s not going to get emotional over this so soon. It’s barely been a month since the surrogacy has officially started. There’s still a whole nine months left to go.

As if Yura can tell what he’s thinking, she lightly presses the heel of her stiletto into his foot. He yelps and glowers at her, but she just laughs. “I’m happy for you both,” she says, and Chanyeol nods, grinning, and gets her back by stealing a handful of her fries.

-

The weather becomes colder as the tendrils of winter slowly start to make their way into the air, the warmth of the sun a rarity as the sky stays grey day after day. On one of these rare afternoons, Chanyeol wraps a thick scarf around Jongin’s neck as he’s prone to get sick much more easily and helps Jongin wrestle a tiny blue sweater onto Jjanggu. Potato is already happily wearing the red outfit, barking around at their feet in excitement. They each take a puppy and head outside, hissing at the chill despite the sunshine.

“Too cold,” Jongin says, muffled cutely behind his scarf. Jjanggu is walking leisurely ahead of him, while Potato, forever the more excited of the two, is trying to run away, making it difficult for Chanyeol to stand beside Jongin and enjoy his warmth.

“Let’s just make it around the block and head back,” Chanyeol says. “If Potato will even allow us to go home that soon, that is.”

Jongin laughs, looking fondly over at their retreiver. When they got their dogs, they’d been just small puppies and that was two years ago. Potato is now fully-grown and just as energetic as he was when they first got him. “I wonder if our kid is going to be as much of a handful as he is,” Jongin says.

“You can’t compare a kid to a pet,” Chanyeol chuckles, nudging Jongin’s side with an elbow.

“I know that,” Jongin says with a tiny pout. “I’m just hoping he doesn’t end up entirely with your energy. I don’t know if I can handle that.”

“Well,” Chanyeol says, leaning in as close as he can without drawing too much attention, “you handle me just fine.” He smirks when the flush on Jongin’s face from the cold turns a little deeper out of embarrassment. He barks out a laugh when Jongin swats him weekly in the chest, his loud noise making Potato bark, too. Chanyeol tugs slightly on his leash to quiet him down, and suddenly a part of what Jongin just said lights up in his head. “Wait,” he says, “you said he. Do you...Do you want a boy?”

Jongin bites on his lower lip as he thinks and he’s silent for a few long seconds. “I’ll be happy with whatever we end up with,” he says finally as they cross the street and make their way to the park two blocks from their apartment. “But yeah, I think I would like a boy more.” He flashes Chanyeol a smile. “I’ll teach him soccer and take him to games! We’ll have matching jerseys and everything.”

Chanyeol laughs. “You’ll have to keep him away from Lu Han or else he’ll end up a Man U fan.”

Jongin wrinkles his nose. “Yeah, that’s definitely not allowed to happen,” he says, but then he laughs, too. “What about you? Boy or girl?”

“I don’t think I have a preference really,” Chanyeol replies. He’d been thinking about it ever since his lunch with Yura a week ago, but the more he does the more he knows he’ll be happy with either a boy or a girl.

“Aww, come on,” Jongin says, playfully swatting him in the arm. “You must have had a moment sometime, when you saw yourself with your future kid.”

Chanyeol considers that as they reach an empty bench along the main path through the park. Jongin instantly sits down and pulls Jjanggu up onto his lap. Jjanggu looks quite glad to have stopped walking, nuzzling his face into Jongin’s legs and relaxing as Jongin smiles down at him, pets him behind his fluffy ears. Chanyeol sits down next to them, stretching his legs out across the pavement as Potato jumps around, clearly displeased at everyone’s need for a break.

“I guess,” Chanyeol says after a moment, remembering that Jongin is still waiting for his answer, “I would like a girl.”

Jongin scoffs. “Are you just saying that because I said I wanted a boy?”

“Maybe a little,” Chanyeol laughs, making a tiny space between his pointer finger and thumb. Jongin pushes his hand away, but there’s amusement in his eyes. Chanyeol shrugs as he reaches into Jongin’s coat pocket to pull out the pack of dog treats. “Sit,” he says to Potato sternly and Potato instantly complies. “Good boy.” Chanyeol offers him a treat and Potato swipes it up happily, and he turns back to Jongin to catch him watching him with an affectionate look on his face that, even after all these years, never fails to make his heart race. He wants to lean over and kiss him.

“You’d spoil a daughter so much,” Jongin says, shaking his head and looking away. Chanyeol wonders if that’s what he’d been thinking about the whole time Chanyeol was focusing his attention on Potato.

“I think we both would,” Chanyeol says. “Oh god, we’re both going to be super softies, aren’t we? Who’s gonna be the strict, mean parent?”

Jongin pokes him in the chest. “I volunteer you.”

“Thanks, Jongin,” Chanyeol says dryly, reaching over to push Jongin’s head away, earning a bright laugh from him. As Jongin settles back, Chanyeol slides a hand discreetly down his arm, squeezes gently around his wrist. “We’re going to be parents,” he breathes out softly, like he’s just realized the magnitude of what’s happening.

“I know,” Jongin says and he can’t mask the excitement in his voice. It makes Chanyeol feel warm all over despite the early winter air. “You’re going to be such a good dad,” he adds, twisting his hand out of Chanyeol’s grip to instead wrap his fingers around Chanyeol’s wrist instead, and his touch is wonderfully warm.

Chanyeol thinks that Jongin will be better. Jongin, with his kind heart and soft smiles and love of children. Jongin, with his open-mindedness and dumb laughter and his affectionate touches. Jongin will be the one who will cry when the baby is born and probably cry over every major milestone, because things like that make him so happy he can’t contain it. He’ll be the one their kid goes to when he’s sad because Jongin will tell him it’s okay to be upset. Jongin will probably read their kid stupid bedtime stories that he adapts from his favorite anime, and teach them how to dance even if they don’t want to learn. Jongin will support their child in anything and everything they want, no matter what.

And that all holds true for Chanyeol, too, but he can really see it, as he looks at Jongin and thinks about the future. It’s so close now, closer than Chanyeol ever dreamed of. Being parents, raising their own kid, having their own little family. Jongin really will be a great dad, he knows this already. He’s about to tell him so, too, when Potato manages to dart off after something he’s seen, leash slipping straight out of Chanyeol’s hand.

“Not again,” Chanyeol groans, jumping to his feet to chase after him, and the sound of Jongin’s high-pitched laughter follows him.

-

“Have you thought of how you’re gonna do it yet?” Zitao asks Chanyeol as he leans against the glass jewelry case and types up a message on his phone.

“Not really,” Chanyeol replies, watching anxiously as the young female employee places the rings into tiny black boxes. “I’ve been too worried over just getting the rings in the first place to think much about that.”

Zitao gives him a tiny smile, his eyes curving cutely. He has large sunglasses pushed up into his bright red hair and he’s dressed impeccably as always, like he just walked straight off the runway. This time, though, it’s almost true; Zitao only managed to meet him in between photoshoots after Chanyeol not-begged him for a second opinion. Zitao’s got a much better eye for jewelry and Chanyeol knew he’d be willing to give an honest answer.

“Jongin will love it,” Zitao says confidently, turning back to his phone. “They’re really nice.”

Chanyeol heaves a deep sigh. He feels simultaneously relieved of the stress of buying rings but burdened by the fact that he now has the rings but no idea of how to propose. “Should I just, like...leave the ring out on the dresser for him to find?”

“That’s the most upsetting thing I’ve ever heard,” Zitao says with the shake of his head. “I know you can do better than that.”

Chanyeol stares forlornly at the black boxes the girl is slipping into a white paper bag with the store’s logo printed on the front. “I’m not so sure,” he says.

Zitao nudges him. “Don’t make such a big deal about it,” he says. “You already know he’s going to say yes.”

He makes a good point. This isn’t like if Chanyeol had proposed years ago, back when he’d first thought that he could spend the rest of his life with Jongin, waking up to his sleepy smiles and messy brown hair everyday, snuggling up with him as they watch television, and making a mess of the kitchen because they’re both a little hopeless when it comes to cooking. Back then, Jongin could have, perhaps, said no. But now, it’s different. They’re in the midst of starting a family together and he knows Jongin will accept any proposal he gives him.

But that doesn’t mean Chanyeol wants to half-ass it, either.

The employee sets the bag onto the counter and rings up the total. Chanyeol fishes out his wallet, hands her his card as Zitao starts peering through the glass at some earrings. “Do you have any ideas?” Chanyeol asks. Zitao’s one of the most romantic people he knows, maybe second to Yifan, but Yifan’s sappy ideas probably won’t work on Jongin the way they did on Yixing, who seems to find that sort of thing strangely endearing.

“I’m not gonna give you ideas on how to propose,” Zitao says, giving Chanyeol a sort of exasperated look. “I’ve helped you out with the rings already. I think you can manage coming up with how to propose on your own.” He pats Chanyeol’s arm, but Chanyeol still doesn’t feel particularly comforted. “You know Jongin better than anyone, hyung. You probably already have the perfect idea and you don’t even realize it.”

Chanyeol’s only idea is planning a really simple dinner at home. He can make Jongin’s favorite dish and maybe get a specialty cake from Yixing’s restaurant (he knows Yixing would more than gladly make them something special if Chanyeol asked) and they could just relax and Chanyeol could pull out the ring when Jongin is least expecting it and ask him if he wants to marry him. Jongin has been pulling some long nights because of work, so he thinks a nice, relaxing night together would really be perfect. Chanyeol knows Jongin wouldn’t want something too over the top, even if Chanyeol would be all for writing their names across the sky. Jongin would probably gut him if he did something like that though.

“See?” Zitao says, pulling Chanyeol out of his thoughts. He’s got this smug little smile on his kittenish lips and is pointing a finger in Chanyeol’s face. “You already have a plan.”

“Shut up,” Chanyeol grumbles, embarrassed, pushing Zitao’s finger out of his face. Zitao tilts his head back and laughs and Chanyeol ignores him, turning his attention back to the employee who has finished up the transaction and hands over Chanyeol’s bag with a smile. “Thanks for helping with this,” Chanyeol tells Zitao as they leave the shop. The bright afternoon sun is a little blinding and Chanyeol is tempted to steal Zitao’s sunglasses as he slides them back onto his face.

“You can buy me dinner sometime as repayment,” Zitao offers cheekily and Chanyeol punches him half-heartedly in the arm, but mentally makes a note to do so anyway. “I hope everything goes well, hyung.”

“Yeah,” Chanyeol says, peeking into his bag at the tiny boxes. “I hope so, too.”

-

Chanyeol is halfway through grading a stack of calculus exams when the unmistakable sound of the door being unlocked catches his ears. It’s gets the attention of Potato, too, who is lounging on the couch beside him, quickly jumping down to run off to greet Jongin who has undoubtedly just come home. There’s soft laughter from down the hall and Chanyeol smiles, turning back to his papers and marking another question incorrect with a purse of his lips. He wonders if his tests are too hard.

The couch dips suddenly as Jongin practically face-plants onto the cushions, his small duffel bag sliding down his arm and to the floor. He didn’t even bother taking his coat off, and the furry hood of it bunches up over his head. Chanyeol chuckles, switches the pens in his right hand to his left and reaches out to pet Jongin’s hair.

“Rough day?” he asks.

Jongin groans into the cushions but tilts his head toward Chanyeol’s hand, like he’s one of their pets looking for more attention. Sometimes, though, Chanyeol can’t really tell the difference. He grins, setting his papers onto the coffee table next to where his feet are propped up, and gently tugs at Jongin until he scoots over, rests his head on Chanyeol’s lap. He lets out a heavy sigh, slipping his arm out of the strap of his bag and turning onto his back so he can look up at Chanyeol. The tired circles under his eyes make Chanyeol frown as he rubs them gently with his thumb, and he’s got a week old shadow across his upper lip and chin.

“If only my mom could see you now,” he teases. “She’d call you homeless, too.”

“She loves me, she’d tell me it looks good.”

Chanyeol narrows his eyes because that’s actually probably true. And, well, Jongin does look good, even if his slight scruff is from being too tired to shave instead of actually wanting to pull off a more rugged look. “You’re back a little earlier today than you have been lately,” he says, continuing to stroke his fingers through his hair.

Jongin makes a soft humming noise as his eyes close. “The girls looked like they were going to collapse, too, honestly, and they got the routine I showed them down perfectly so Junmyeon-hyung said we could end early today.”

“That’s nice of him,” Chanyeol says, and it really is. He’s glad to have Jongin home.

“I think he just wanted some sleep, too,” Jongin laughs.

“Like he gets much of that with Daeho around,” Chanyeol replies.

“Ah, that reminds me,” Jongin says and he opens his eyes too look at Chanyeol. “Hyung asked if we could watch him this weekend in the evening. Eunji has some important business dinner to attend and Junmyeon wants to go with her.” He laughs. “Or, more like Eunji will castrate him if he doesn’t.”

Chanyeol snorts. “Yeah, I think we could do that. Tell him it’s okay.”

Jongin’s already a step ahead of him, pulling his phone out of his back pocket and tapping away at the screen. “It can be like practice,” he says with a grin.

“Except Daeho’s four, he practically looks after himself.”

“That’s what you think,” Jongin says, sliding his phone onto the coffee table and then closing his eyes again. “Junmyeon-hyung was complaining the other day about how he’d taken his eyes off him for a minute to answer a phone call and Daeho had drawn on the walls in marker.”

Chanyeol winces a little. “Okay, good to know,” he says. “We’ll watch him like a hawk.”

Jongin blinks his eyes open, a slow smile stretching across his lips and he sits up to quickly kiss Chanyeol on the mouth. Then he swings his legs over the side of the couch and stands, stretching arms over his head and Chanyeol catches a tiny glimpse of tan skin under his shirt where it rides up his stomach. “Have you had dinner yet?” Jongin asks, dropping his hands down and twisting his waist from side to side. A quick flash of pain crosses his features and instantly Chanyeol is on his feet, rubbing soft circles at his hips and kissing his forehead.

“Go take a shower,” he says and he pushes his glasses up his nose as they start to slip. “I’ll make us something.”

Jongin hugs him around the middle. “Such a good not-fiance,” he teases, shooting Chanyeol a mock glare, and Chanyeol considers, then, the box he’s hidden in the back of the closet in the baby’s room next to a stack of his old books. He could go and get it right now, tell Jongin that he can be his actual fiance, if he lets him, but then Jongin is drawing him down to kiss him softly. “Thanks,” he says, and the moment has passed.

Chanyeol chuckles, pats Jongin’s ass twice and shoos him off toward the shower and he pushes the thought of a proposal away for another day. Instead, he heads to the kitchen to find something quick to whip up for the two of them. He’s halfway through putting together chicken fried rice when he hears Jongin laughing down the hall, calling their puppies back into the bedroom. Potato’s loud bark seems to bounce off the walls and Chanyeol shakes his head in amusement. He gives his pan a little shake, stirring the rice around with a wooden spoon, and then grabs two plates from the cupboard to his right.

“Stay,” he hears Jongin say sternly, followed by a cheerful, “Good boys,” and the unmistakable sound of a door being shut. Chanyeol’s brows furrow in wonder, because they don’t usually shut the dogs into a room unless--

“Hey,” Jongin whispers, sliding up behind him and wrapping arms around his waist. His warm, damp skin presses up against Chanyeol’s back and he trails his lips up the column of Chanyeol’s neck. Chanyeol swallows, quickly reaches out to flip the stove off, and the next second Jongin is spinning him around, manhandling him away from the stove just enough to push him against the counter.

Chanyeol chuckles into Jongin’s mouth that comes up to meet his, slowly kissing him in a way that makes Chanyeol’s heart melt a little. He draws Jongin closer with hands at his hips, and Jongin presses a knee between Chanyeol’s legs, pushing up against him. His own hands find Chanyeol’s hair and he lets out this tiny sort of sigh into Chanyeol’s lips as Chanyeol rocks into him.

It’s been awhile since they’ve really had a chance to just be together. Between all the worry and stress of the upcoming baby and Jongin’s longer work hours, Chanyeol doesn’t even remember the last time he’s been able to touch Jongin like this. They’re both normally very touchy people and Jongin hangs off him whenever they are together, but this is different, right now, and it feels almost like the first time, rushed and desperate and oh so good.

Jongin’s tongue slips into his mouth, hot and slick and steals his breath, and as he ruts up against Chanyeol’s thigh he can feel him hard through the thin sweats he put on after his shower. Chanyeol slides his hands up Jongin’s bare back, and he feels Jongin shudder under his touch, fingers tightening into his hair as their kiss deepens. The ledge of the counter digs into Chanyeol’s lower back, but as Jongin gently nips at his lower lip and gasp, it’s really the least of his concern.

“Chanyeol,” Jongin whines softly, grinding against him and drawing a low moan from Chanyeol’s throat. He feels the corners of Jongin’s lips twitch upward in a smirk, and he does it again, and again, until Chanyeol feels the slick coils of arousal in his groin.

He pushes a hand down between them, presses his palm up against Jongin’s erection and Jongin sucks in a sharp breath through his teeth. Chanyeol draws back to look into his face, taking in the flush that’s spread up his neck, the haziness of his eyes, and he only feels his body getting warmer at the sight.

And when Jongin suddenly drops to his knees, Chanyeol licks his lips, feels his heart rate accelerate a little in anticipation. He slips his hands into Jongin’s slightly wet hair, pushing it back from where it clings to his forehead. Jongin smiles up at him and easily undoes the buckle on Chanyeol’s pants, pushing up the hem of his sweater to mouth at the flat of his stomach as he eases his jeans down his hips.

“Too slow,” Chanyeol murmurs and Jongin’s hot breath feels so nice against his skin as he laughs.

“Aren’t you eager?” Jongin teases, flicking his eyes up at him. He wraps a hand around Chanyeol’s cock now and smirks at the way his hips buck up for more almost instantaneously.

“Hey, you’re the one who jumped me,” Chanyeol retorts but through the breathlessness of his voice it doesn’t hold as much of a punch.

Jongin just looks amused anyway, as he slowly strokes up the length of Chanyeol’s cock and rubs his thumb over the slit. When Chanyeol makes a tiny frustrated noise, does Jongin finally lean forward to take him into his mouth. He sucks softly around the head and draws back to drag his tongue down the underside and it’s like he’s purposefully taking his time to drive Chanyeol even more crazy. Fingers wrap around the base of his cock and Jongin flicks the tip of his tongue across the head before he takes him back into his mouth.

“Oh god,” Chanyeol sighs, hand tightening in Jongin’s hair as he relaxes his throat around him and swallows him down until his mouth reaches his fingers. Jongin glances up to meet his gaze and Chanyeol’s breath catches in his throat at the look, eyes intense as they stare at him and he can’t find it in him to look away. Jongin has always been good at this, something Chanyeol tries not to think too much about because he doesn't want to know exactly where he got all the practice, but he definitely enjoys the result of it when Jongin presses his tongue just under the head or traces that vein along the length of his dick. He pulls away to take a breath, leaning gently against Chanyeol's thigh for a moment as Chanyeol slides a hand from his hair down his face, rubs his thumb over his slick and swollen lips. Jongin sighs, stroking his hand up and down Chanyeol's dick in steady rhythm that has Chanyeol's veins thrumming in pleasure as he gets incredibly close.

He covers Jongin's hand with his own and urges, "Come on," pushing his hips out as he draws Jongin in again with his other hand now pressed tight against the back of Jongin's neck. Jongin obliges without a word, opening his mouth wide as he swallows him down as much as he can, until the head of Chanyeol's dick bumps the back of his throat. It pulls a deep, deep groan from Chanyeol, his eyes falling shut at the amazing sensation of Jongin's mouth hot and wet and perfect around him and he tilts his head back instinctively, just barely bumping against the cupboard above him. He lets out a hiss but he pays the dull throb no mind, not when Jongin's throat constricts around him and he backs off to tongue at the head, licking up the precome that's gathered there. His jaw is tight and there's saliva slipping down the corner of his lips onto his chin, and as Chanyeol stares at him, looking utterly debauched, Chanyeol knows he can't take much more.

And after so long together, Jongin can tell, too, can tell just how close he is, just what to do to push him over the edge. He licks his lips slowly, obscenely, his gaze never wavering from Chanyeol's -- Chanyeol doesn't know how he manages that so well -- and then he's dipping down to lick straight up from Chanyeol's balls to the tip of his dick and fuck. Chanyeol tightens his hand into Jongin's hair, tugs him back to take him into his mouth once more and he thrusts into the wondrous heat when Jongin obediently wraps his lips around him again. Hands find Chanyeol's hips to keep him steady and it's not necessary, really, because as Jongin sucks around him, Chanyeol comes, with his name pulled out of him in a strangled sort of moan.

Jongin drinks him down and pulls back with a slight shudder, his lips a dark, beautiful red and his chest heaving from his efforts. Chanyeol feels wonderfully sated, like he could melt down to the kitchen floor and nap comfortably against the tiles. The thought is tempting, but he’s not that mean, pulling weakly at Jongin’s hair where his hand is now loosely threaded through, and Jongin stands slowly, wincing a bit from spending so long on his knees.

A sharp gasp falls from Jongin’s lips when Chanyeol catches his mouth in his, tasting a little of himself as he licks his way inside. Jongin’s hands clench at his arms and he grinds desperately against his hip and Chanyeol knows he’s not in the mood for any teasing. He tugs Jongin’s sweatpants down, grateful that he didn’t even bother with underwear because it’s that much easier to get a hand around him, hard and leaking into Chanyeol’s palm.

“Please,” Jongin whimpers into his mouth and Chanyeol jerks him off fast, rubbing the pad of his thumb across the slit the way he knows Jongin likes it and mouthing down the length of his neck. The noises Jongin makes are like music to his ears and no matter how long they’ve been together Chanyeol will never grow sick of hearing those sounds. Nails dig into Chanyeol’s skin and he knows Jongin is close now, worrying his lower lip between his teeth and rutting up into Chanyeol’s fist. When he comes it’s with a low groan, hips stuttering against Chanyeol’s as he spills over his fingers and his body shakes under Chanyeol’s hands. Chanyeol lets out a breathy chuckle, kisses Jongin’s temple as he sags into his chest, and his gaze falls onto the pan on the stove, their partially cooked dinner now pretty much ruined.

“Maybe we should order some delivery,” Chanyeol muses aloud and Jongin snorts into the crook of his shoulder.

“I think we should kick the dogs out of the bedroom,” Jongin returns, his fingers sliding up Chanyeol’s arms until they loop around the back of his neck. He presses a kiss to Chanyeol’s lips and Chanyeol swallows.

“Yeah,” he says, voice coming out a little choked. “Yeah, that’s a better idea.” Jongin smirks, and heads down the hall without a word and Chanyeol rushes after him, figuring there’s always time to worry about dinner later.

-

Soojin greets Chanyeol with a welcoming hug and a bright smile. “It’s nice to see you again,” she says, leading him into her apartment. “Jongin couldn’t make it?”

“He wanted to come so badly he almost cried on the phone when he told me he had to stay late for work,” Chanyeol says with a slight laugh. “He’ll probably call you later to hear all the details.”

Soojin laughs, gestures to a chair at her dining table for Chanyeol to take. Chanyeol sits, feeling a little out of place because this is the first time he’s met with Soojin on his own. She flits around her kitchen, opening up cupboards and pulling out some mugs and setting them down onto a pretty floral patterned tray beside the sink. She doesn’t look particularly pregnant, but Chanyeol has heard from his mother and Yura that it’s always different for each person. He remembers Yura showing just a bit by the time of her first ultrasound but Soojin looks the same as when Chanyeol last saw her.

She joins him at the table a few minutes later, handing him a mug of tea from the tray and pushing the little container of sugar toward him. Chanyeol thanks her, pours two small spoonfuls of sugar into his mug because Jongin’s not around to stop him, and stirs it in. “Is everything going okay for you?” he asks her.

“Yes, other than the usual things, everything has been fine,” she says after taking a sip of her tea. “The doctor said during the ultrasound yesterday that the baby is looks normal and everything is on track.” She smiles at Chanyeol and there’s a tiny clink as she sets her mug down. “It’s still too early to tell the baby’s gender, but…” She pushes her chair back, the legs screeching a bit against her hardwood floors, and goes up to retrieve something from a drawer underneath the counter. “Here,” she says, holding out the small image to Chanyeol who takes it with shaky hands.

He tries to calm himself down with a few deep breaths but he can’t. Maybe he should have left the sugar out of his tea but he has a feeling he’d still react like this, like he’s going to tear the sonogram photo in half because his fingers can’t stay still. “This is--” he starts, stops and swallows thickly. He can’t find the words.

Soojin’s smile widens as she pats his shoulder comfortingly. “Your baby,” she says and she points out to the fuzzy gray spots on the image.

Chanyeol can't quite seem to find his voice. Soojin understands, giving him one more pat on the shoulder before returning to her seat. Chanyeol barely notices though, eyes glued to the picture in his hands. That's his baby. His own child that in just over eight more months he will be able to hold in his arms and take home with him and Jongin. Their own child, their own family.

He feels suddenly choked up, like this is all too good to be true, and he has to set the image down and take a drink of his tea, focus on something else. His eyes keep darting over, and even if he can't tell much from the image other than a gray blob, this is proof that his baby is real. This is really happening.

"Are you all right?" Soojin asks, concern in her voice. When Chanyeol glances up at her, her brows are furrowed in worry and he wonders what sort of expression is on his face right now.

Chanyeol nods, takes a few long sips of his tea and it burns his tongue but he hardly notices that, too. "It's just," he says, his voice coming out a bit strangled, "this...this makes everything so real, and I wasn't expecting to feel so overwhelmed."

"And just think, this is only the beginning," Soojin teases and Chanyeol chokes on his tea a bit.

"Oh god," he says, wetting his mug down with a trembling hand and spilling tea over the rim. He yelps, heat rushing to his face in embarrassment, but Soojin just laughs and retrieves some napkins to help him clean up as he apologizes. "I'm already a mess just from one sonogram," Chanyeol says, sounding more whiny than he intends. "I'm just suddenly, I don't know, scared?"

Soojin pats his hand. "If you weren't scared, I'd say you aren't ready," she says and the calmness of her voice starts to soothe away Chanyeols anxiety. "Every new parent is scared. You're going to be in charge of a new life. Your baby is only going to have you. And that is a scary thing, when you stop and think about it."

Chanyeol runs a hand through his hair, looks back down at the sonogram. "And that's normal, to feel that way?"

"Absolutely," Soojin says.

Chanyeol is still caught between the near-suffocating feeling of being a parent and screaming in excitement and possibly running off the highest building, but he stares at the photo and then up at Soojin's warm smile and starts to feel better.

The anxiety is still bubbling inside him by the time he gets home about an hour later. Jongin is already back, shoes haphazardly thrown in the doorway and the loud sounds of Michael Jackson's Smooth Criminal filling the apartment. He does that sort of thing when he's antsy, when he's trying hard not to think about something, and Chanyeol knows he’s been waiting impatiently for his return to hear what happened, to hear about their baby.

Jjanggu is lounging on the couch when Chanyeol walks in and he pets his head on his way to the kitchen where he can hear the slight banging of pots and the hiss of steam from something on the stove. Jongin is pacing back and forth from one end of the kitchen to the other while Potato sits by his bowl and watches him with intrigue.

“Hey,” Chanyeol says and Jongin turns on his heel so fast he just about slips on his socked feet. Chanyeol reaches out to catch him, but Jongin, always quick with his reflexes, stops himself by the counter and lets out a small laugh. “Are you okay?” Chanyeol asks, closing the space between them to look him over.

Jongin waves a hand at him. “I’m fine,” he says as he grabs his iPad off the counter and turns down the music. “What happened? How did it go? Is Soojin okay? The baby?”

Chanyeol holds up his hands to stop Jongin’s interrogation, laughing in amusement as Jongin clamps his mouth shut and looks slightly abashed. “Everything went well,” Chanyeol says and he pulls the envelope Soojin had given him with the sonogram tucked safely inside from his pocket. “Soojin looks great, you can barely even tell she’s pregnant. And she said the baby is healthy and on the right track. There’s nothing to worry about.” He pulls the sonogram out and hands it to Jongin, who sets his iPad back down and carefully takes it from him, his breath catching in his throat.

Jongin is silent for a long time and Chanyeol tries not to stare at him too obviously, but it’s hard. Especially as he can practically see the expression on his face change as Chanyeol points out what Soojin did to him on the little image. “It just looks like a blob to me, though,” Chanyeol laughs and Jongin makes a sort of mumbling sound like he’s crying. And sure enough, when Chanyeol glances at his face again, Jongin’s eyes are wet and he’s biting into his lower lip.

“This is our baby?” Jongin asks like he can’t believe it. He won’t stop looking at the photo.

Chanyeol wraps an arm around Jongin’s shoulders and pulls him close. “Yeah,” he says, and he feels a little like crying, too. “This is our baby.”

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