fic; hey there, gorgeous--oh wait, it's just jin part 2
A week passes and Jin continues to be a girl. Every night he goes to bed hoping he’ll wake up as a boy and every morning he’s once again disappointed.
Except for the orgasms, being a girl sucks. Things he never cared about suddenly matter - like dressing properly, for one. He wouldn’t mind walking out in baggy pants and his usual hoodie, and he did once, to go to the conbini a block over, but after the distasteful looks he got, he didn’t do it again. And when he tries to wear something even slightly revealing, he just feels the eyes on him everywhere he goes. Sure, it’s not his fault that he’s fucking hot and all, but as a girl, Jin finds he doesn’t want to be attracting that kind of attention.
Jin’s starting to think that all men are disgusting perverts. This totally excludes his male counterpart, of course. Jin is a fucking awesome dude. He has fucking swag, okay, and he definitely never tried to feel up girls on the train. Just thinking about that makes him shudder. Maybe he should walk around in sweats and t-shirts, it’d at least keep the creepers away.
Another thing that’s becoming increasingly annoying to deal with are all these emotions. Jin doesn’t think he’s ever been an insensitive guy, but girls just seem to feel a lot more or something. The stupidest shit makes him happy or sad to extremes and he’s nearly cried a few times over the last week when Ryo offhandedly called him fat.
And that’s another thing - his friends are suddenly really fucking hot. Well, most of them. They don’t seem to be really interested in Jin because they’re still guys and they know Jin’s really a dude, but Jin’s girly feelings get in the way of that so all he sees is how hot Pi is and how Ryo has really nice abs. And then there’s Kame, but Jin tries not to dwell too much on that.
The fact that he can’t actually do any work is what’s stifling him the most. He should’ve been filming, he should’ve been in meetings about his upcoming debut with Jason Derulo, but instead he’s stuck here with nothing to do as a girl..
He spends most of his time writing music because it’s really the only thing he can do. He did try singing the other day and was pleased to hear he can still carry a note as a girl, and recorded himself singing Real Face before mailing the clip to Kame - who had just sent back you always did croon like a girl. Fucker.
So Jin writes some lyrics, makes some beats, and sits on them because he while he could record himself singing it, it’d be pretty pointless with his female voice.
That next Friday Jin is woken up by his phone ringing constantly for nearly ten minutes. He has no idea who thought calling him at ten in the morning was ever a good idea and eventually Jin gets a hand on it and answers with a groggy, “Hello?”
“Akanishi-kun,” says what is unmistakably Johnny’s displeased voice, and Jin is now fully alert.
“Um, good morning,” Jin tries, wondering what he did to warrant a phone call from Johnny.
“Please come into the office within the hour,” is all Johnny says, no explanation, no nothing. “I will see you then.” He hangs up.
Jin blinks at his phone, and then five seconds later his phone rings in his hand. He screams, startled, and drops his phone. It falls off the bed and he scrambles to grab it before the line disconnects. “Hello?” he says.
“Jin!” Pi exclaims. “Have you seen it?”
“Seen what? I just got up,” Jin says, confused.
Now Pi’s laughing. “Oh, man. We told you it was a bad idea!” Pi says.
“What the fuck are you talking about?!”
“Shit, I have to go. Get up and either go to the conbini or look online, but Friday’s just printed a very interesting article that you might want to read,” Pi says and then, he too, hangs up.
Jin gapes for a second before he throws himself out of bed and since he’s too dishevled to just walk out to the nearest conbini, he rushes to his laptop that he left out on the kitchen table and searches the internet for the most recent Friday.
It pops up almost instantly on some fan blog with an atrocious title like RABU♥RABU♥AKAKAME blinking at the top of the page. The actual entry is named KAME WITH A GIRL?! and it makes Jin laugh for about ten minutes before he finally remembers to scroll down. And there it is, what Pi must’ve been talking about, what Johnny must have called Jin about, black-and-white grainy pictures of Kame and girl!Jin dancing together at Lex from the week before.
Jin doesn’t know whether to laugh again or cry. It’s both hilarious and detrimental because the one thing Johnny told him to do was stay at home and if Jin hadn’t insisted on going out that night, this never would’ve happened. And now he has to visit the old man and get chewed out for not following orders.
Jin shakes his head, deciding to worry about that later, and continues reading the blog. There are snippets from the article posted, things about Kame and KAT-TUN, the general background information. And then it actually gets to that night, and what stands out most is not that Kame’s dancing with some chick, but the line that says:
a girl who resembles a striking similarity to one Akanishi Jin, the former member of KAT-TUN who is currently pursuing an American debut and is currently filming for the movie 47 Ronin, due next November. Is this Kamenashi’s way of coping with the loss of a group-member, by finding a girl that looks exactly like Jin?
Jin stares at the computer screen blankly until he laughs uncertainly. “What the fuck,” he says, scrolling down to where there are more photos of girl!Jin from that night, pretty good ones too. A couple small ones show him sitting and drinking, but the large photos are of him and Kame standing close together, Kame’s hand on his waist and their eyes locked.
“Oh, shit,” Jin mumbles, staring at the incriminating evidence. This really isn’t good.
He continues to the bottom of the blog out of curiosity and sees that the poster had added in images of every time Jin had cross-dressed for magazines, skits, and dramas, and put them side-by-side next to the images from Friday. The resemblance is obvious, and all the fans could tell.
Of course they don’t know the girl with Kame really is Jin, but the speculation is there. Some comments to the blog question if it really is Jin just cross-dressing so he wouldn’t be found out, some comments even venture to whether Jin got a sex-change.
Jin laughs nervously again. They weren’t so far off on that one.
After reading every comment on the page, ignoring the screaming fans uniting over AKAKAME LIVES!1!!1!1!, and mostly just being curious about the ridiculous rumors, Jin finally clicks out of the page and shuts his laptop.
He’s still not sure what he should think about this. And then wonders if Kame has seen it. If Kame has gotten a call from Johnny too.
Jin’s more frightened by Kame’s reaction than Johnny’s at this moment. As he returns to his bedroom to start to get dressed, he contemplates calling Kame. He could just laugh it off, make a joke of it. Really, it’s not like the fans could ever know it was actually Jin. Besides, who would really believe that Jin had magically turned into a girl, right?
Right, he tells himself firmly and then goes to shower.
As he leaves for the jimusho, Jin ponders about calling Kame again. He’s finding it a little disconcerting that Kame hasn’t already contacted Jin and bitched him out about how he shouldn’t have danced with him, about how Jin is a complete idiot.
Or maybe he hasn’t called because he doesn't care.
Jin snorts. Yeah, right, he thinks.
Deciding to be the better man - girl, whatever - he calls Kame when he gets to the jimusho and is made to wait in front of Johnny’s office because the old man is in a meeting.
“What, Akanishi?” Kame questions when the line connects.
“...From your tone, I’m guessing you already know,” Jin says awkwardly.
“Of course I know,” Kame replies. “You moron.”
“Fuck you. You’re the one who dragged me off to dance, remember?” Jin hisses. “You seemed to enjoy it, too.”
Kame doesn’t answer for a second, and when he finally does, he’s cool and collected as always, and it pisses Jin off inexplicably. “That’s beside the point,” Kame says but Jin turns instantly gleeful.
“You’re not denying it!” he accuses. “You did like it.”
“Shut the fuck up, Akanishi,” Kame seethes. “The point is that you’re a fucking idiot. Whatever Johnny has planned to say to you, you deserve it.”
Jin’s grin fades into a frown. “Did he call you in, too?”
“No, we just talked on the phone. I’m on location for Going! filming right now,” Kame explains.
“Look, Kame,” Jin starts, “It’s not like I--”
“Save it,” Kame interrupts. “It is what it is. No one actually knows it was you, so other than me getting some unnecessary publicity, it’s not that big of a deal.”
“But--”
“You’re still a fucking idiot though,” Kame finishes and Jin’s grin is back. “Just be more careful about where you go, okay?”
“Yeah, sure,” Jin says, because Kame actually sounds a little concerned and it makes Jin kind of happy. He shakes that thought away instantly and says quickly when he notices the secretary waving at him to go in, “I have to go. I’m meeting with the old man, now.”
Kame laughs. “Good luck,” he says and Jin feels something akin to his heart swelling in his chest at those words.
He mutters a quick goodbye and hangs up, and pushes away the stupid ~feelings~ as he heads into Johnny’s office.
“Akanishi-kun,” Johnny says. “I thought I told you do to one thing.”
Jin stands his ground and nods once. “I know,” he says. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re lucky that the delusions of fans and tabloids are easy to ignore and cover up,” Johnny continues like Jin hasn’t spoken. “No one will really believe it was you, however, you need to return to a boy as soon as possible, because time is money, Akanishi-kun, and the longer you are like this, the less use of you I have.”
Jin grits his teeth from shouting that if he knew how to turn back into a boy, he would’ve fucking done so already. That’s not Johnny’s problem, it never is. Jin just has to do it, or otherwise face the consquences. “I understand,” he mutters.
“Good,” Johnny says. “Now don’t do anything stupid like this again. Once in the papers is fine, and you unwittingly helped Kamenashi-kun with publicity. But we do not need the press to learn about your...well, your unique transformation.”
“Right,” Jin says.
“So stay at home,” Johnny advises. “The next time I want to see you, I expect you to have changed back.”
Jin nods and Johnny waves a hand in dismissal, so Jin gives a bow and leaves.
That wasn’t as awful as he’d expected it to be but now he’s kind of pissed. Trust Johnny to leave it to Jin to turn back into a boy when he doesn’t know why or how he turned into a girl in the first place.
“Fucker,” Jin exclaims loudly as he stomps to the elevator and startles the secretary at her desk, who gives him a look of disapproval.
Jin slumps against he elevator wall, wondering what he should do now that he really can’t go back to the clubs, or virtually do anything, when his phone beeps in his pocket.
He’s surprised to find a mail from Kame. All it says is Let me know how your meeting goes.
Jin smiles as he types back: just got out it was fine. i got off ez cuz u needed the publicity. can’t even find a girl to grind with on ur own, kame?
Yes, I am so inept that the only person I could ever dream of dancing with is you, comes Kame’s sarcastic response. You forget you’re the one who was crying about not getting to dance.
I WAS NOT CRYING, Jin types back furiously.
Kame says, Whatever you have to tell yourself, Akanishi.
i fucking hate u.
Almost two minutes later (which feels like an hour to Jin, staring at his phone expectantly for Kame’s response), Kame sends back: From the way you reacted last week, I was thinking otherwise and Jin is too baffled to say anything in return.
~
Jin goes home with Kame’s message burned into his mind and left unanswered in his phone. What can he say to that anyway? Jokingly reply, that oh, yeah, you’re right, and I came home and got off on thinking about you fucking me?
No. Way.
Jin will take that to the fucking grave. The absolute last thing Kame ever needs to know is how Jin’s harboring secret lustful feelings about him now that he’s a girl.
At least he hopes it’s just lustful. He hasn’t forgotten the way Kame’s earlier concern had made him feel.
He’s so wrapped up in his thoughts that he doesn’t realize there’s someone standing in front of his apartment door until he walks right into them.
“Sorry--” Jin starts only to swallow his words when he realizes it’s fucking Josh he’s run into.
Josh peers at Jin and then replies, “No problem,” before he turns to knock on Jin’s door.
Shit, Jin thinks, wondering if he could just leave without arousing suspicion. At least Josh didn’t actually recognize him, so he starts to make his way back to the elevator when Josh, the fucking idiot, pulls out his phone and calls him. Jin’s phone goes off in the pocket of his jeans and Josh turns to him mostly in surprise, perhaps thinking it’s coincidence, Jin hesitates for awhile before he pulls it out, pretends to fumble with it and presses the reject button.
“What the fuck,” Josh mutters in English. Josh really is an idiot, Jin thinks, but then is horrified when Josh calls again.
This time, Josh seems to think it’s not just a coincidence when Jin’s phone rings again because he turns to Jin and stares and, Jin, deciding that running into the elevator right now would not be a good idea, and that it’d probably be easier to just tell him, answers his phone with a, “Yo.”
Josh drops his phone and his eyes widen. “Dude,” he says dumbly and Jin heaves a very deep sigh.
~
“Stop fucking staring at me, okay?” Jin snaps at his friend ten minutes later after Josh seems to have gotten his bearings back.
“Dude,” Josh says again. “What the fuck.”
“Tell me about it,” Jin says, ignoring the way Josh is eyeing him.
“You’re a chick,” Josh says and Jin rolls his eyes. He tilts his head, assessing, and adds, “I thought you’d be, like, hotter.”
“Get the fuck out of my apartment,” Jin retorts. He’s fucking getting tired of hearing that. He is totally hot, okay?!
“You even sound like a girl, this is fucking weird. Does this shit happen normally for you guys?”
“No, really, get the fuck out of my apartment.” Sometimes Jin isn’t sure why Josh is even his friend.
“Or did you really get a sex change like the fans are saying?” Josh continues. “I saw those pics by the way. I thought you hated that Kamesashi guy?”
“It’s Kamenashi,” Jin corrects him angrily. “And I don’t hate him.”
Josh gives him a skeptical look but doesn’t pursue the topic. Instead he eyes Jin again and finally bursts out laughing. “Oh man, this is hilarious,” he wheezes. “I have to show the crew,” he adds and pulls out his phone.
Jin lets out a totally girly shriek and lunges at him.
~
“What’re you doing here?” is the first thing Kame says when he opens the door and finds Jin standing on the other side.
“Let me stay with you,” Jin exclaims and Kame slams the door in his face.
Jin catches it, almost crushes his fingers, but he catches it and gives Kame big, round vulnerable eyes that he may or may not have practiced in the mirror before coming here. “Pleeeeeease?” he begs cutely, bats his eyelashes.
Either Kame has a heart of steel or he’s just used to Jin begging. Or both, because he just glares at Jin and tries to pry Jin’s fingers off the door so he can shut it.
“Go home,” Kame says furiously.
“I can’t!” Jin exclaims. “I only just got away!”
This gets Kame’s attention as his attempts at taking control over his door subsides and Jin triumphantly pushes it back and manages to step inside. “Why can’t you go home?” Kame asks against better judgement.
“Because Josh is an ass and told the crew that I turned into a girl,” Jin explains frantically. “And then Kusano and some of the other guys showed up and they dragged me off to karaoke and stuff even though I told them I couldn’t actually go anywhere, so then we came back and now they won’t leave my apartment and they all keep laughing at me and--”
“Okay, okay, calm down,” Kame says, putting up a hand to stop Jin. He sighs and rubs his temples wearily. “Come in, then,” he adds reluctantly and Jin beams at him.
Jin heads into the apartment, flops onto the couch with a happy sigh. Kame shakes his head at him, goes into the kitchen and retrieves two beers from the fridge. Jin smiles as he watches him from the couch, infinitely glad that Kame was actually home otherwise Jin would’ve probably had no where else to hide.
“You’re done with work today?” he asks Kame. It’s around nine that evening, and usually Kame works until much later.
Kame nods. “Finished early today,” he says happily, joining him on the couch and handing Jin a can. “Had meetings with KAT-TUN, and then with Koki and Nakamaru and staff for Dreamboys.”
“Oh, I heard about that,” Jin tells him, cracking open the can and taking a drink. “Congrats.”
Kame just shrugs like it’s not a big deal, but Jin knows he’s really happy inside. “It’ll be fun to do it with them,” is all he says about it, and after a few minutes he asks, “Why’d you come here?”
“I really tried to get those idiots out of my apartment, but they wouldn’t leave! I’ve been stuck with them all day, ever since I got back from seeing Johnny this morning,” Jin says with annoyance, takes another drink of his beer. “I had to get out.”
“I get that,” Kame replies. “I meant why did you come here?”
“Because Pi is annoyingly hot, Ryo is an ass and also won’t stop laughing at me, and Shirota’s not home,” Jin explains easily.
“I keep laughing at you, too,” Kame points out.
“Yeah, but you’re not as mean as Ryo-chan,” Jin replies.
Kame laughs. “Thanks, I guess,” he says and sips at his coffee. Then he pauses like he’s realized something, turns to Jin and questions, “Wait, you think Pi is hot?”
Jin chokes on his beer. After spluttering for a moment he looks at Kame, pointedly doesn’t meet his eyes, but he can feel his cheeks heating up. “Yes,” he mumbles, setting his beer onto the coffee table so he could frantically wave his hands in the air and emphasize his point. “It’s the stupid girl hormones! I’m thinking guys are fucking hot and I keep getting the urge to cry when I see something sad or even when something makes me happy. There are all these stupid feelings and I have no idea how girls live like this every fucking day.”
“Akanishi--” Kame starts but Jin’s not done yet, all of his worries and anger that he hasn’t been able to tell anyone over the past week just starts pouring out of him.
“And what fucking sucks the most is that Johnny told me this morning that I have to turn back into a boy like right fucking now, like I wouldn’t have fucking done it already if I could!” Jin exclaims, and, to his horror and Kame’s, he bursts into tears.
Kame looks absolutely bewildered for a moment before he sets his beer down as well and then reaches out awkwardly to pat Jin on the head. “Jin,” he says kindly and Jin’s heart does a strange flop in his chest; when was the last time Kame had called him by his given name?
“Sorry,” Jin mumbles. “This all just fucking sucks.”
“Stop swearing so much, you don’t sound like a girl at all,” Kame laughs.
“That was kind of the point,” Jin admits, sniffling as he wipes his eyes with the back of his hand.
“You’d be a lot cuter if you didn’t insist on acting like a boy,” Kame says and Jin looks up at him quickly, surprised.
“You think I’m cute?” he asks, his earlier distress instantly gone, and he gives Kame hopeful eyes.
Kame looks like he wants to take the words back. “No,” he says, but when Kame glances away, Jin knows it was a lie.
Now Jin is utterly gleeful and after sparing just a moment to think that girls have incredible mood swings, he bounces happily on Kame’s couch, his long hair flying around his face, and demands, “You do, don’t you!”
“Well, what about you?” Kame returns. “I know you didn’t just walk out last Friday because you were feeling sick.”
Jin feels the heat burst in his cheeks. His eyes widen at the implication that Kame knows exactly what happened last week. “Um,” he says uncertainly, but Kame just laughs.
He pats Jin’s head again, this time much more confidently, and Jin’s heart flops again. “See, now this is cute,” he tells him and, if possible, Jin turns even redder.
“I THINK YOU’RE HOT,” Jin blurts out, and then, horrified, tries to backtrack when Kame looks at him with undiluted shock, “I MEAN, I-I don’t know, these girl feelings are just taking over and last week when we were at the club I might have thought that you were hot, which is why I ran out like that, but I don’t know, because I think Pi’s kind of hot now too, and it’s really fucking weird, and shit, I’m talking like a boy again and--”
Jin’s voice is cut off when Kame slams a hand over his mouth. Jin blinks owlishly at him and Kame just looks amused. “You think I’m hot?” he asks and Jin nods shamefully.
Kame drops his hand. “Okay,” he says, and, then, before Jin can even process what’s happening, Kame is closing the space between them by pressing their mouths together.
Kissing as a girl is still mostly the same as when he’s a boy, but he’s still surprised, gasping into Kame’s mouth that is smooth and warm against his lips. Kame’s hand presses against the back of Jin’s neck, pulling him closer into the kiss, and Jin finally lets his eyes fall shut and reciprocates, quite fiercely, actually, when he realizes that Kame’s trying to lead.
Just because he’s a girl doesn’t mean Kame can suddenly fucking take control.
Kame seems to approve, if the way he groans is any indication, and Jin smirks against his lips as he tangles a hand into Kame’s hair and kisses him harder.
It figures a kiss between them would be like a fight, all demanding and difficult and furious. And really, it’s just what Jin wants; he doesn’t need any deep emotions attached to it, not right now, not when Kame is slipping a hand under Jin’s shirt, pressing it flat against his stomach and mutters a breathy, “Jin,” against his lips before he travels down with his mouth, sucking at a spot beneath Jin’s jaw.
And then Jin finds himself pushed upon his back against the couch, Kame moving above him and staring down with dark eyes beneath his bangs. Jin’s heart feels like a jackhammer in his chest, strangely nervous for reasons he can’t comprehend; it’s just Kame, he reminds himself, but maybe that’s exactly the point.
“J-Just for the record,” Jin starts to say as Kame presses his lips to the corner of Jin’s mouth and trails down his neck, “I totally don’t think you’re hot when I’m a guy.” At least, he didn’t (not really), and he hopes that when he turns back into a boy, there won’t be any lingering feelings.
Kame tenses for a moment and Jin wonders if he said the wrong thing, but then Kame laughs against his collarbone, breath warm and ticklish, and when he looks up at Jin, he says, “I know,” and that’s it.
Jin doesn’t miss the slightly disappointed tone, nor the look in Kame’s eyes that is kind of sad and hopeful at the same time. He also doesn’t want to think about what it means, and does the only thing he knows can fix the discomfort settling in his veins. He pulls Kame down hard with a hand in his hair and presses their mouths together again.
Kissing easily distracts Jin from the possible consequences, from the feelings, from everything else. It's just him and Kame, it doesn't have to be about anything else, and it's enough to at least delude himself into thinking that the attraction he's been feeling for Kame ever since he turned into a girl is just physical.
And it helps that Kame is fucking good at this. Jin's never really thought about it before (really) but he certainly seems to know what he's doing, his hand beneath Jin's shirt slips up and pushes aside his bra. Jin keens as Kame's palm presses against his breast and then rubs his nipple between his fingers. He had already figured out this pleasure on his own but it's infinitely better when it's someone else, and Jin's craving for it, feeling his arousal starts it's slow burn, like wildfire spreading out through his veins.
"Kame--" Jin gasps, pushing his hips against Kame, startled to feel Kame hard against his thigh. He catches Kame's eyes and they're unlike anything Jin's ever seen from him before and it sends chills down his spine. He licks his lips. Despite the ridiculous fantasies he had about Kame over the past week (there were more than he'd like to admit), he's never wanted Kame as much as he does right now.
It must show on his face because Kame's muttering, "Okay, okay," and then pulling his shirt up over his head.
Jin knows Kame's been working out or something because he's seen the magazine shoots and the TV appearances (other things he'll take to the grave with him) and Kame's definitely not that skinny kid when they first joined this business. And Jin can't deny he likes this better, reaching out to trail his fingers along the skin, watching with amazement at how Kame sucks in a breath and lets it out shakily.
Jin leans up and kisses him again, runs his hand over Kame's shoulder and down his back, feels the muscles move as Kame pulls him closer. His legs wrap around Kame's hips and Kame grinds against him and it's possibly the best thing Jin's ever felt.
Kame grabs the hem of Jin's shirt and yanks it up over Jin's head, breaking their kiss for as long as it takes and then he's back in Jin's mouth. Jin's hair falls in cascades over his shoulders and Kame slips his fingers through the long strands, pulls back to laugh, "This is so weird," which makes Jin laugh as well.
"How do you think I feel?" Jin replies, but Kame simply smirks against his jaw and doesn't reply. Jin's not really looking for an answer anyway, especially since Kame's using his mouth for much better things, like leaning down to flick his tongue against a nipple.
"Oh, shit," Jin breathes, tightening his fingers into Kame's hair. He takes it back; this is possibly the best thing Jin's ever felt and if Kame stops anytime soon, Jin just might kill him.
Thankfully Kame doesn't seem keen on stopping, and Jin's unintelligible gasps are fueling him on, directing him to what Jin likes as a girl.
Jin seems to like everything. Sex is something he doesn't have to really think about but this is entirely different from what he knows, and he's starting to think that sex as a girl might be better than as a guy.
Of course they've only just gotten started, but Jin already feels like he's coming undone at the seams. He squirms against Kame, who either doesn't seem to understand Jin's need or is ignoring it (Jin wouldn't be surprised by the latter), and it's only when Jin shoves a hand between them to rub at the hardness in Kame's pants that Kame finally stops and lets out this entirely sexy groan.
The sound permanently embeds itself into Jin's brain and if Jin wasn't turned on before, he most certainly was now.
He pushes Kame back, ignoring his grumble when his head hits the armrest of the couch, but then Jin is climbing on top of him and Kame's eyes widen as he takes in the sight: Jin, with his long hair spilling down his back, his bra undone and slipping awkwardly off one shoulder, and the slight quirk of his lips as he presses his tongue to the corner of his mouth.
"Fuck," Kame hisses as Jin moves against him and brings a hand up to brush over his breasts.
"You think I'm hot, don't you?" Jin demands gleefully because Kame's evaded the question every time Jin's brought it up. He wouldn't be doing this if he didn't right? But Jin wants to hear it.
"No," Kame says defiantly, gently rocking back to meet Jin's movements and groaning when Jin stops, clearly disapproving of Kame's answer.
Jin raises a brow, looks amused. "Oh, really?" he questions.
Kame narrows his eyes. "What do you want from me, Akanishi?"
Jin's heart flips a little in his chest; just awhile ago Kame had called him "Jin." He purses his lips in mock-thought, and then replies, "I just want to hear you say it."
Kame looks like he's eager to defy Jin's request, but Jin still isn't moving, and Jin knows Kame knows this won't get any further if he doesn't give in. "Fuck," Kame snaps, "you're even more infuriating as a girl."
Jin smirks and Kame adds angrily, "Fine, fuck, you're hot! Is that what gets you off, Akanishi?"
Jin just laughs and leans down to press his lips against Kame's just once. "Maybe," he answers easily, and then adds, whispering into Kame’s ear, "And I like it when you call me Jin."
Kame's eyes lose their fury and are instead replaced with surprise and slowly soften into something like affection. He pulls Jin close again, lips just breaths away from each other, and murmurs, “Jin,” before kissing him.
And it’s a gentler, deeper, warmer kiss than the others before it, and Jin’s mind reels with the feeling sweeping up inside of him. He tries not to think about how this is becoming more than just some ridiculous desire to be with Kame and focuses on everything else, like how Kame’s fingers slide down his stomach to the hem of his jeans, popping the buttons and pulling on the zipper until he pushes Jin backwards to tug harshly on his clothing. Jin wriggles his hips to help, and once his jeans fall in a pile of fabric onto the floor, he instantly grabs for Kame’s, wrenching the belt buckle undone until Kame merely stands up to get his pants off.
Jin kneels up on the couch and pulls him close by hooking his finger into the waistband of Kame’s boxers. Kame meets his lips halfway and Jin’s starting to think he could keep kissing Kame forever.
Of course that’s not why they’re undressed, and that’s not all Jin’s been fantasizing about for the past week. He slides off the couch and brushes past Kame easily, tossing a smirk over his shoulder as he heads for Kame’s bedroom.
Kame follows wordlessly and Jin pushes him down onto the bed before climbing on top of him. Kame lets out a throaty groan when Jin reaches down past his boxers to wrap around his thick erection. It should be weird, but it’s not, and Jin just lets himself do what seems right, what gets a response out of Kame. He slows his pace to piss him off, to get Kame to tug viciously on his hair and crush their mouths together because this is what Jin wants, this undiluted, raw need that’s rippling throughout his body.
And Kame delivers, as if he can read Jin’s mind (he’s always been able to do that, ever since they were kids and Kame just knew what Jin was thinking), and he slips his fingers between Jin’s legs, pushing aside his underwear to touch him directly.
His fingers slip in easily, two at once, and he rubs Jin's clit with his thumb. Jin doesn't bother trying to hide his pleased moan. His head tilts back, long hair falling down behind him, his bangs clinging to his forehead as he rocks his hips into Kame's touch.
"Yes," Jin breathes, "like that."
Kame eyes Jin and says, "You don't seem surprised."
Jin looks at him for a moment and then quickly averts his gaze. He can feel the embarrassment rising in his cheeks, mixing in with the flush of pleasure that is overtaking his entire being.
Kame accuses, "You did this before, didn't you?" and Jin's resolute silence gives him away. Kame seems mostly intrigued and fingers Jin harder until Jin is groaning for it. "You touched yourself like this, didn't you?"
"I WAS CURIOUS!" Jin defends dramatically. "I bet you would be too, if you'd fucking turned into a girl!"
Kame smirks. "What were you thinking about, Jin?" he asks, his voice dropping into his dangerous low sound. It makes Jin gasp, rock his hips faster.
"Were you thinking about me?" Kame continues teasingly and when Jin's body tightens around his fingers, Kame knows it's the truth. "You were," he says, entirely too smug about it, and Jin is half tempted to punch that look right off him, but then Kame would definitely stop touching him and that's the very last thing Jin wants.
"Yes," he admits finally. "I was thinking about you."
Kame looks like he wasn't excepting a confirmation but then his grin widens. "What did you want me to do to you, Jin?" he questions easily like he doesn't fucking know, and his ministrations slow down, just a gentle pressure where Jin wants it, not enough, definitely not enough. He's going to make Jin say it, just like Jin made him, earlier. Fucking bastard.
"What do you think?" Jin snaps furiously. "Stop being a fucking tease and- god-touch me."
Kame does, just barely, and Jin is rethinking the punching thing, when Kame leans up and kisses his throat.
"What else, Jin?" he asks and Jin shudders from the tone of voice, from just hearing his name fall from Kame's lips.
Jin presses his hand down against Kame's shoulder, nails digging into the skin as Kame works his fingers with surprising expertise. Jin can feel his brain melting out of his ears, can feel arousal sweeping like waves inside him, and he's so close, so fucking close, he can barely answer Kame's question and his voice comes out in ragged breaths. "Oh, fuck, I want-I want you to fuck me, Kame-oh."
He comes as his mind fills with the image of Kame fucking him, shuddering above Kame as he continues to stretch him through the sensation until Jin smacks his hand away from the over-stimulation.
"Do you have--" Jin starts impatiently and is cut off when Kame instantly reaches for the side table and pulls out a condom from the drawer.
Jin snatches it from him unceremoniously and Kame lets out an amused chuckle that turns into a groan when Jin pulls his boxers down and onto the floor and gets a hand around him again. Jin glances up at him as he puts the condom on for him, Kame's face unguarded, soft, and Jin's heart starts to beat wildly in his chest. Despite everything up until now, he's actually a little nervous, but he tries not to let it show. He is fucking Akanishi Jin, after all. Even if he is a girl.
Kame pulls Jin's underwear down his legs and Jin straddles him again, takes Kame's cock in his hand and slowly lowers himself down.
"Oh my god," Jin exhales, feeling like all the air out of his lungs has escaped as Kame fills him completely, thick and full and an incredible sensation that Jin can barely wrap his head around.
They're still for what feels like an eternity, Kame's fingers press into Jin's waist and he's breathing harshly through his nose, his eyes closed, hidden by his bangs. Right now he looks the most attractive Jin's ever seen him, and he burns the image into his mind as he tries to regain his bearings.
"Jin," Kame groans then, "if you don't fucking move right now, I'll kill you."
Jin almost laughs; Kame bossing him around, even in this situation, is comforting and entirely appropriate. He sucks in a deep breath and follows orders.
And it's like white noise rushes in his ears, the way it feels as he gently fucks himself on Kame until he gets used to the feeling of him inside him, stretching him. It's completely different from just his fingers and Jin's still teetering on that edge, eager for more, to feel everything he possibly can, wanting it all at once. It's radiating inside him, this unbridled energy, and he can soon throw caution to the wind and rides Kame properly, triumphant.
"Fuck, Jin," Kame hisses as he grabs Jin's hair and yanks him down, pressing an open-mouthed, wet kiss against Jin's lips, and Jin lets out this pure, raw sound that seems to shake the walls.
It's building up in him again, the intensity, and as Kame starts to finally rock his hips up into Jin's efforts, it becomes too much to ignore. Kame's hitting him just right, and his fingers are stroking his inner thighs, a gentle counterpart to their erratic rhythm and it makes Jin's blood pound harder in his chest.
He knows he’s not going to last and from the way Kame’s fingers tighten in his hip, how he presses staggering kisses across Jin’s jaw, Jin knows Kame’s close too. This, right now, is unlike anything else he’s ever experienced before, probably the best fucking sex he’s ever had, and he wants to draw it out but knows he can’t, doesn’t have that kind of patience, not when the need is wrestling inside of him.
“Kame,” Jin moans, as he starts to lose it, giving into it, feeling it wash over him, “Kame, Kame, Kame--”
And Kame just snaps, “Shut up, fuck, just shut up,” and he pulls Jin down and kisses him roughly, and just like that, Jin comes again, writhing against Kame as his whole body thrums in this fiery, breathless pleasure.
Kame isn’t far behind, just pushing into Jin’s body that clenches around him before he comes, too, and Jin doesn’t even care about collapsing upon him afterward, too shaky, too content to even conceive the idea of moving.
Of course Kame is the one to ruin Jin’s moment (instantly back to being the Destroyer of All of Jin’s Happiness, even though he might have just been the Reason For All of Jin’s Happiness), and grumbles, “Get off me, Akanishi.”
Jin does, just rolls off him and curls up on his side, silently watches Kame pull off the condom and knot it before getting up to throw it away in the bathroom. When he returns he looks down at Jin, lying naked and blissful across his bed and sighs.
“This is fucked up,” he says and Jin laughs, grabs his hand and yanks him back into bed.
“Our relationship has always been pretty fucked up,” Jin says, feeling this strange need to cuddle, pressing his cheek against Kame’s shoulder. He actually doesn’t mind because Kame is very warm and Jin doesn’t want to let go, not yet (and ignores the notion in his head that it’s because he doesn’t want this to just be about the sex).
Kame’s fingers end up in Jin’s hair, slowing running through the long strands, and he says so quietly the Jin almost doesn't hear him, “Not always.”
He’s right, it wasn’t always like that, but Jin doesn’t know what to say. Instead he just closes his eyes, moves closer to Kame’s heat, and thinks that he can figure it all out in the morning.
~
The sun’s blinding brightness is what wakes Jin up that next morning, squinting as he tries to adjust to the light and his surroundings, which, as they come into focus, is definitely not his own bedroom.
When his gaze lands on Kame, the previous night comes rushing back like he’s been hit in the back of the head with a blunt object. His almost initial reaction is to scream, but he doesn’t, because he’s staring at Kame’s face, smooth with sleep, and feels this incredible warmth spreading throughout him from where, he’s surprised to find, Kame’s arms wrapped around his waist.
And that’s when he notices the lack of very obvious female parts that should be on his body, and he almost knocks Kame out of bed when he twists away to investigate.
“Oh my god,” he says quietly, like he can’t really believe it, “I’m a boy again.”
And then he shakes Kame awake furiously to exclaim, “LOOK, I’M A BOY AGAIN.”
It seems like it’s taking all of Kame’s energy to actually open his eyes but when he does, he glances up at Jin’s eager face and then down along his body. “So you are,” Kame says, eyeing Jin, until Jin flushes indignantly and shoves his face away.
Kame lets out a small laugh as he gets out of bed and stretches and Jin finds himself shamelessly staring at the way his muscles move along his back, before realizing just what he’s doing. He looks away quickly, sensing that familiar feeling he’s felt for the whole of last week creeping up inside of him. He glances back at Kame who seems entirely unconcerned about his nudity, watches as he rifles through his closet for clothes.
“Um,” Jin says, awkwardly, and Kame turns to look at him over his shoulder. Jin drops his gaze to the bedspread and gnaws on the corner of his mouth.
“What?” Kame asks as he pulls on a pair of sweatpants that hang loose around his hips, and Jin definitely did not just think that it looks kind of sexy.
“N-Nothing,” Jin replies quickly, wondering what the fuck his brain is doing, why his heart is suddenly beating so madly.
Kame obviously doesn’t buy this, and he’s back at the bed, standing across from Jin with his arms crossed over his chest expectantly. “It’s clearly something,” he says and Jin is trying to look anywhere but at him. “Spit it out,” Kame demands when Jin continues to keep quiet.
“What happens now?!” Jin exclaims finally, and meets Kame’s eyes that grow wide in surprise. He clearly wasn’t expecting this, and, truthfully, neither was Jin. He definitely wasn’t expecting to turn back to a boy so soon, definitely wasn’t expecting to wake up and find Kame just as hot as he did as a girl, find that all of those feelings that had been populating inside of him over the past week were actually here to stay. He wasn’t expecting to find that maybe...just maybe, he didn’t mind.
He thinks--his head spins, not because thinking is hard but because maybe there’s something there. Their relationship is fucked up, he said so himself and yet, Kame... Of all people, Kame is the one to say, “Not always,” like Kame’s thought about this before, like Kame doesn’t see the mess of yarn and bittersweet syrupy mess that doesn’t let them figure out their obviously fucked up relationship.
Kame assesses Jin in silence and Jin stares back feeling vulnerable and uncertain. Then Kame says, “What exactly do you mean?”
Trust Kame to turn it around, to not give his opinion and make Jin do it first instead. Jin doesn’t really know, so all that comes out is a mess of his thoughts. “I-I mean,” he starts, twisting the bedsheets in his hands, “this, between us, what happened last night. W-Where do we go from here? Is this...it?”
Everything he says sounds stupid to his own ears but he doesn’t know how else to express it. He waits with uncertainty, this strange and terrifying feeling in his chest because he doesn’t really know what he wants from Kame, what he even wants from himself. Because it’s not just anyone he has a fucked up relationship with, it’s Kame. And Kame isn’t just Kame, he’s The Destroyer of All of Jin’s Happiness. And also the Creator of It and the Cause, more than half the time, and maybe Jin’s starting to remember that.
Just as he begins to think that maybe he’s read into this all wrong, that Kame isn’t actually interested in him, that maybe last night was some spur of the moment thing (it really wasn’t, for Jin, now that he thinks about it), he feels the bed dip as Kame climbs up on it and Kame pushes up on Jin’s chin with his fingers until Jin is looking right back at him.
“You idiot,” he says and just as Jin opens his mouth to retort, Kame kisses him.
Somehow it’s instantly better than the kisses they shared last night, it’s better, really, than any kiss Jin’s ever had before. He kisses back enthusiastically, pulling at the waistband of Kame’s jeans to get him closer and sighing with pleasure into his mouth when Kame presses his fingers against the back of his neck.
“This is much better with you as a guy,” Kame says when they break apart and Jin laughs, rests his forehead against Kame’s shoulder.
“We’re not going to talk about this, are we?”
“We can.” Kame pauses, dramatic like the Kame Jin’s known for years. A smirk creeps to his mouth before he jerks his head towards the bed. “But I think I want to see whether Jin is any better than Jinko.”
“Do not. Call. Me. Jinko.”
“Then you better make me call your name out, good and loud, Jin.”
Jin laughs again as Kame pushes Jin down against the mattress. “I should probably tell someone I’m a boy again,” Jin says.
“Later,” Kame advises and presses his lips to Jin’s.
bonus
“Jin.”
“Yamashita, if you’re calling to say Jin’s hot--”
“No, I have a problem.”
“Pi, why does your voice sound weird?” Jin asks over the phone as he pulls on a pair of Kame’s sweatpants and an overpriced posh and sparkly cardigan. “Are you alright?”
“Jin, I think I, uh. I might have caught your problem.”
Kame starts laughing the moment Jin tells him. They hang up and then call Ryo.
“Do you think he’ll figure it out?” Jin asks Kame as they try to get changed for work because Kame’s making it excessively difficult by trying to take off the clothes Jin puts on. “I mean, they’re not the brightest people in the planet. Should we tell them?”
“No.”
“True. They did laugh at me. No one else wanted to dance with me that night as well,” Jin adds, mock sulking. “Imagine if it had been Pi or Ryo that pulled me out onto the dancefloor and they were the one in the magazine scandal and--and--” He doesn’t get anymore time to mock Kame because they’re both too busy laughing when Ryo spams their phones with one million text messages asking for their magic cure to Yamapi’s legitmate boobs.
Except for the orgasms, being a girl sucks. Things he never cared about suddenly matter - like dressing properly, for one. He wouldn’t mind walking out in baggy pants and his usual hoodie, and he did once, to go to the conbini a block over, but after the distasteful looks he got, he didn’t do it again. And when he tries to wear something even slightly revealing, he just feels the eyes on him everywhere he goes. Sure, it’s not his fault that he’s fucking hot and all, but as a girl, Jin finds he doesn’t want to be attracting that kind of attention.
Jin’s starting to think that all men are disgusting perverts. This totally excludes his male counterpart, of course. Jin is a fucking awesome dude. He has fucking swag, okay, and he definitely never tried to feel up girls on the train. Just thinking about that makes him shudder. Maybe he should walk around in sweats and t-shirts, it’d at least keep the creepers away.
Another thing that’s becoming increasingly annoying to deal with are all these emotions. Jin doesn’t think he’s ever been an insensitive guy, but girls just seem to feel a lot more or something. The stupidest shit makes him happy or sad to extremes and he’s nearly cried a few times over the last week when Ryo offhandedly called him fat.
And that’s another thing - his friends are suddenly really fucking hot. Well, most of them. They don’t seem to be really interested in Jin because they’re still guys and they know Jin’s really a dude, but Jin’s girly feelings get in the way of that so all he sees is how hot Pi is and how Ryo has really nice abs. And then there’s Kame, but Jin tries not to dwell too much on that.
The fact that he can’t actually do any work is what’s stifling him the most. He should’ve been filming, he should’ve been in meetings about his upcoming debut with Jason Derulo, but instead he’s stuck here with nothing to do as a girl..
He spends most of his time writing music because it’s really the only thing he can do. He did try singing the other day and was pleased to hear he can still carry a note as a girl, and recorded himself singing Real Face before mailing the clip to Kame - who had just sent back you always did croon like a girl. Fucker.
So Jin writes some lyrics, makes some beats, and sits on them because he while he could record himself singing it, it’d be pretty pointless with his female voice.
That next Friday Jin is woken up by his phone ringing constantly for nearly ten minutes. He has no idea who thought calling him at ten in the morning was ever a good idea and eventually Jin gets a hand on it and answers with a groggy, “Hello?”
“Akanishi-kun,” says what is unmistakably Johnny’s displeased voice, and Jin is now fully alert.
“Um, good morning,” Jin tries, wondering what he did to warrant a phone call from Johnny.
“Please come into the office within the hour,” is all Johnny says, no explanation, no nothing. “I will see you then.” He hangs up.
Jin blinks at his phone, and then five seconds later his phone rings in his hand. He screams, startled, and drops his phone. It falls off the bed and he scrambles to grab it before the line disconnects. “Hello?” he says.
“Jin!” Pi exclaims. “Have you seen it?”
“Seen what? I just got up,” Jin says, confused.
Now Pi’s laughing. “Oh, man. We told you it was a bad idea!” Pi says.
“What the fuck are you talking about?!”
“Shit, I have to go. Get up and either go to the conbini or look online, but Friday’s just printed a very interesting article that you might want to read,” Pi says and then, he too, hangs up.
Jin gapes for a second before he throws himself out of bed and since he’s too dishevled to just walk out to the nearest conbini, he rushes to his laptop that he left out on the kitchen table and searches the internet for the most recent Friday.
It pops up almost instantly on some fan blog with an atrocious title like RABU♥RABU♥AKAKAME blinking at the top of the page. The actual entry is named KAME WITH A GIRL?! and it makes Jin laugh for about ten minutes before he finally remembers to scroll down. And there it is, what Pi must’ve been talking about, what Johnny must have called Jin about, black-and-white grainy pictures of Kame and girl!Jin dancing together at Lex from the week before.
Jin doesn’t know whether to laugh again or cry. It’s both hilarious and detrimental because the one thing Johnny told him to do was stay at home and if Jin hadn’t insisted on going out that night, this never would’ve happened. And now he has to visit the old man and get chewed out for not following orders.
Jin shakes his head, deciding to worry about that later, and continues reading the blog. There are snippets from the article posted, things about Kame and KAT-TUN, the general background information. And then it actually gets to that night, and what stands out most is not that Kame’s dancing with some chick, but the line that says:
a girl who resembles a striking similarity to one Akanishi Jin, the former member of KAT-TUN who is currently pursuing an American debut and is currently filming for the movie 47 Ronin, due next November. Is this Kamenashi’s way of coping with the loss of a group-member, by finding a girl that looks exactly like Jin?
Jin stares at the computer screen blankly until he laughs uncertainly. “What the fuck,” he says, scrolling down to where there are more photos of girl!Jin from that night, pretty good ones too. A couple small ones show him sitting and drinking, but the large photos are of him and Kame standing close together, Kame’s hand on his waist and their eyes locked.
“Oh, shit,” Jin mumbles, staring at the incriminating evidence. This really isn’t good.
He continues to the bottom of the blog out of curiosity and sees that the poster had added in images of every time Jin had cross-dressed for magazines, skits, and dramas, and put them side-by-side next to the images from Friday. The resemblance is obvious, and all the fans could tell.
Of course they don’t know the girl with Kame really is Jin, but the speculation is there. Some comments to the blog question if it really is Jin just cross-dressing so he wouldn’t be found out, some comments even venture to whether Jin got a sex-change.
Jin laughs nervously again. They weren’t so far off on that one.
After reading every comment on the page, ignoring the screaming fans uniting over AKAKAME LIVES!1!!1!1!, and mostly just being curious about the ridiculous rumors, Jin finally clicks out of the page and shuts his laptop.
He’s still not sure what he should think about this. And then wonders if Kame has seen it. If Kame has gotten a call from Johnny too.
Jin’s more frightened by Kame’s reaction than Johnny’s at this moment. As he returns to his bedroom to start to get dressed, he contemplates calling Kame. He could just laugh it off, make a joke of it. Really, it’s not like the fans could ever know it was actually Jin. Besides, who would really believe that Jin had magically turned into a girl, right?
Right, he tells himself firmly and then goes to shower.
As he leaves for the jimusho, Jin ponders about calling Kame again. He’s finding it a little disconcerting that Kame hasn’t already contacted Jin and bitched him out about how he shouldn’t have danced with him, about how Jin is a complete idiot.
Or maybe he hasn’t called because he doesn't care.
Jin snorts. Yeah, right, he thinks.
Deciding to be the better man - girl, whatever - he calls Kame when he gets to the jimusho and is made to wait in front of Johnny’s office because the old man is in a meeting.
“What, Akanishi?” Kame questions when the line connects.
“...From your tone, I’m guessing you already know,” Jin says awkwardly.
“Of course I know,” Kame replies. “You moron.”
“Fuck you. You’re the one who dragged me off to dance, remember?” Jin hisses. “You seemed to enjoy it, too.”
Kame doesn’t answer for a second, and when he finally does, he’s cool and collected as always, and it pisses Jin off inexplicably. “That’s beside the point,” Kame says but Jin turns instantly gleeful.
“You’re not denying it!” he accuses. “You did like it.”
“Shut the fuck up, Akanishi,” Kame seethes. “The point is that you’re a fucking idiot. Whatever Johnny has planned to say to you, you deserve it.”
Jin’s grin fades into a frown. “Did he call you in, too?”
“No, we just talked on the phone. I’m on location for Going! filming right now,” Kame explains.
“Look, Kame,” Jin starts, “It’s not like I--”
“Save it,” Kame interrupts. “It is what it is. No one actually knows it was you, so other than me getting some unnecessary publicity, it’s not that big of a deal.”
“But--”
“You’re still a fucking idiot though,” Kame finishes and Jin’s grin is back. “Just be more careful about where you go, okay?”
“Yeah, sure,” Jin says, because Kame actually sounds a little concerned and it makes Jin kind of happy. He shakes that thought away instantly and says quickly when he notices the secretary waving at him to go in, “I have to go. I’m meeting with the old man, now.”
Kame laughs. “Good luck,” he says and Jin feels something akin to his heart swelling in his chest at those words.
He mutters a quick goodbye and hangs up, and pushes away the stupid ~feelings~ as he heads into Johnny’s office.
“Akanishi-kun,” Johnny says. “I thought I told you do to one thing.”
Jin stands his ground and nods once. “I know,” he says. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re lucky that the delusions of fans and tabloids are easy to ignore and cover up,” Johnny continues like Jin hasn’t spoken. “No one will really believe it was you, however, you need to return to a boy as soon as possible, because time is money, Akanishi-kun, and the longer you are like this, the less use of you I have.”
Jin grits his teeth from shouting that if he knew how to turn back into a boy, he would’ve fucking done so already. That’s not Johnny’s problem, it never is. Jin just has to do it, or otherwise face the consquences. “I understand,” he mutters.
“Good,” Johnny says. “Now don’t do anything stupid like this again. Once in the papers is fine, and you unwittingly helped Kamenashi-kun with publicity. But we do not need the press to learn about your...well, your unique transformation.”
“Right,” Jin says.
“So stay at home,” Johnny advises. “The next time I want to see you, I expect you to have changed back.”
Jin nods and Johnny waves a hand in dismissal, so Jin gives a bow and leaves.
That wasn’t as awful as he’d expected it to be but now he’s kind of pissed. Trust Johnny to leave it to Jin to turn back into a boy when he doesn’t know why or how he turned into a girl in the first place.
“Fucker,” Jin exclaims loudly as he stomps to the elevator and startles the secretary at her desk, who gives him a look of disapproval.
Jin slumps against he elevator wall, wondering what he should do now that he really can’t go back to the clubs, or virtually do anything, when his phone beeps in his pocket.
He’s surprised to find a mail from Kame. All it says is Let me know how your meeting goes.
Jin smiles as he types back: just got out it was fine. i got off ez cuz u needed the publicity. can’t even find a girl to grind with on ur own, kame?
Yes, I am so inept that the only person I could ever dream of dancing with is you, comes Kame’s sarcastic response. You forget you’re the one who was crying about not getting to dance.
I WAS NOT CRYING, Jin types back furiously.
Kame says, Whatever you have to tell yourself, Akanishi.
i fucking hate u.
Almost two minutes later (which feels like an hour to Jin, staring at his phone expectantly for Kame’s response), Kame sends back: From the way you reacted last week, I was thinking otherwise and Jin is too baffled to say anything in return.
~
Jin goes home with Kame’s message burned into his mind and left unanswered in his phone. What can he say to that anyway? Jokingly reply, that oh, yeah, you’re right, and I came home and got off on thinking about you fucking me?
No. Way.
Jin will take that to the fucking grave. The absolute last thing Kame ever needs to know is how Jin’s harboring secret lustful feelings about him now that he’s a girl.
At least he hopes it’s just lustful. He hasn’t forgotten the way Kame’s earlier concern had made him feel.
He’s so wrapped up in his thoughts that he doesn’t realize there’s someone standing in front of his apartment door until he walks right into them.
“Sorry--” Jin starts only to swallow his words when he realizes it’s fucking Josh he’s run into.
Josh peers at Jin and then replies, “No problem,” before he turns to knock on Jin’s door.
Shit, Jin thinks, wondering if he could just leave without arousing suspicion. At least Josh didn’t actually recognize him, so he starts to make his way back to the elevator when Josh, the fucking idiot, pulls out his phone and calls him. Jin’s phone goes off in the pocket of his jeans and Josh turns to him mostly in surprise, perhaps thinking it’s coincidence, Jin hesitates for awhile before he pulls it out, pretends to fumble with it and presses the reject button.
“What the fuck,” Josh mutters in English. Josh really is an idiot, Jin thinks, but then is horrified when Josh calls again.
This time, Josh seems to think it’s not just a coincidence when Jin’s phone rings again because he turns to Jin and stares and, Jin, deciding that running into the elevator right now would not be a good idea, and that it’d probably be easier to just tell him, answers his phone with a, “Yo.”
Josh drops his phone and his eyes widen. “Dude,” he says dumbly and Jin heaves a very deep sigh.
~
“Stop fucking staring at me, okay?” Jin snaps at his friend ten minutes later after Josh seems to have gotten his bearings back.
“Dude,” Josh says again. “What the fuck.”
“Tell me about it,” Jin says, ignoring the way Josh is eyeing him.
“You’re a chick,” Josh says and Jin rolls his eyes. He tilts his head, assessing, and adds, “I thought you’d be, like, hotter.”
“Get the fuck out of my apartment,” Jin retorts. He’s fucking getting tired of hearing that. He is totally hot, okay?!
“You even sound like a girl, this is fucking weird. Does this shit happen normally for you guys?”
“No, really, get the fuck out of my apartment.” Sometimes Jin isn’t sure why Josh is even his friend.
“Or did you really get a sex change like the fans are saying?” Josh continues. “I saw those pics by the way. I thought you hated that Kamesashi guy?”
“It’s Kamenashi,” Jin corrects him angrily. “And I don’t hate him.”
Josh gives him a skeptical look but doesn’t pursue the topic. Instead he eyes Jin again and finally bursts out laughing. “Oh man, this is hilarious,” he wheezes. “I have to show the crew,” he adds and pulls out his phone.
Jin lets out a totally girly shriek and lunges at him.
~
“What’re you doing here?” is the first thing Kame says when he opens the door and finds Jin standing on the other side.
“Let me stay with you,” Jin exclaims and Kame slams the door in his face.
Jin catches it, almost crushes his fingers, but he catches it and gives Kame big, round vulnerable eyes that he may or may not have practiced in the mirror before coming here. “Pleeeeeease?” he begs cutely, bats his eyelashes.
Either Kame has a heart of steel or he’s just used to Jin begging. Or both, because he just glares at Jin and tries to pry Jin’s fingers off the door so he can shut it.
“Go home,” Kame says furiously.
“I can’t!” Jin exclaims. “I only just got away!”
This gets Kame’s attention as his attempts at taking control over his door subsides and Jin triumphantly pushes it back and manages to step inside. “Why can’t you go home?” Kame asks against better judgement.
“Because Josh is an ass and told the crew that I turned into a girl,” Jin explains frantically. “And then Kusano and some of the other guys showed up and they dragged me off to karaoke and stuff even though I told them I couldn’t actually go anywhere, so then we came back and now they won’t leave my apartment and they all keep laughing at me and--”
“Okay, okay, calm down,” Kame says, putting up a hand to stop Jin. He sighs and rubs his temples wearily. “Come in, then,” he adds reluctantly and Jin beams at him.
Jin heads into the apartment, flops onto the couch with a happy sigh. Kame shakes his head at him, goes into the kitchen and retrieves two beers from the fridge. Jin smiles as he watches him from the couch, infinitely glad that Kame was actually home otherwise Jin would’ve probably had no where else to hide.
“You’re done with work today?” he asks Kame. It’s around nine that evening, and usually Kame works until much later.
Kame nods. “Finished early today,” he says happily, joining him on the couch and handing Jin a can. “Had meetings with KAT-TUN, and then with Koki and Nakamaru and staff for Dreamboys.”
“Oh, I heard about that,” Jin tells him, cracking open the can and taking a drink. “Congrats.”
Kame just shrugs like it’s not a big deal, but Jin knows he’s really happy inside. “It’ll be fun to do it with them,” is all he says about it, and after a few minutes he asks, “Why’d you come here?”
“I really tried to get those idiots out of my apartment, but they wouldn’t leave! I’ve been stuck with them all day, ever since I got back from seeing Johnny this morning,” Jin says with annoyance, takes another drink of his beer. “I had to get out.”
“I get that,” Kame replies. “I meant why did you come here?”
“Because Pi is annoyingly hot, Ryo is an ass and also won’t stop laughing at me, and Shirota’s not home,” Jin explains easily.
“I keep laughing at you, too,” Kame points out.
“Yeah, but you’re not as mean as Ryo-chan,” Jin replies.
Kame laughs. “Thanks, I guess,” he says and sips at his coffee. Then he pauses like he’s realized something, turns to Jin and questions, “Wait, you think Pi is hot?”
Jin chokes on his beer. After spluttering for a moment he looks at Kame, pointedly doesn’t meet his eyes, but he can feel his cheeks heating up. “Yes,” he mumbles, setting his beer onto the coffee table so he could frantically wave his hands in the air and emphasize his point. “It’s the stupid girl hormones! I’m thinking guys are fucking hot and I keep getting the urge to cry when I see something sad or even when something makes me happy. There are all these stupid feelings and I have no idea how girls live like this every fucking day.”
“Akanishi--” Kame starts but Jin’s not done yet, all of his worries and anger that he hasn’t been able to tell anyone over the past week just starts pouring out of him.
“And what fucking sucks the most is that Johnny told me this morning that I have to turn back into a boy like right fucking now, like I wouldn’t have fucking done it already if I could!” Jin exclaims, and, to his horror and Kame’s, he bursts into tears.
Kame looks absolutely bewildered for a moment before he sets his beer down as well and then reaches out awkwardly to pat Jin on the head. “Jin,” he says kindly and Jin’s heart does a strange flop in his chest; when was the last time Kame had called him by his given name?
“Sorry,” Jin mumbles. “This all just fucking sucks.”
“Stop swearing so much, you don’t sound like a girl at all,” Kame laughs.
“That was kind of the point,” Jin admits, sniffling as he wipes his eyes with the back of his hand.
“You’d be a lot cuter if you didn’t insist on acting like a boy,” Kame says and Jin looks up at him quickly, surprised.
“You think I’m cute?” he asks, his earlier distress instantly gone, and he gives Kame hopeful eyes.
Kame looks like he wants to take the words back. “No,” he says, but when Kame glances away, Jin knows it was a lie.
Now Jin is utterly gleeful and after sparing just a moment to think that girls have incredible mood swings, he bounces happily on Kame’s couch, his long hair flying around his face, and demands, “You do, don’t you!”
“Well, what about you?” Kame returns. “I know you didn’t just walk out last Friday because you were feeling sick.”
Jin feels the heat burst in his cheeks. His eyes widen at the implication that Kame knows exactly what happened last week. “Um,” he says uncertainly, but Kame just laughs.
He pats Jin’s head again, this time much more confidently, and Jin’s heart flops again. “See, now this is cute,” he tells him and, if possible, Jin turns even redder.
“I THINK YOU’RE HOT,” Jin blurts out, and then, horrified, tries to backtrack when Kame looks at him with undiluted shock, “I MEAN, I-I don’t know, these girl feelings are just taking over and last week when we were at the club I might have thought that you were hot, which is why I ran out like that, but I don’t know, because I think Pi’s kind of hot now too, and it’s really fucking weird, and shit, I’m talking like a boy again and--”
Jin’s voice is cut off when Kame slams a hand over his mouth. Jin blinks owlishly at him and Kame just looks amused. “You think I’m hot?” he asks and Jin nods shamefully.
Kame drops his hand. “Okay,” he says, and, then, before Jin can even process what’s happening, Kame is closing the space between them by pressing their mouths together.
Kissing as a girl is still mostly the same as when he’s a boy, but he’s still surprised, gasping into Kame’s mouth that is smooth and warm against his lips. Kame’s hand presses against the back of Jin’s neck, pulling him closer into the kiss, and Jin finally lets his eyes fall shut and reciprocates, quite fiercely, actually, when he realizes that Kame’s trying to lead.
Just because he’s a girl doesn’t mean Kame can suddenly fucking take control.
Kame seems to approve, if the way he groans is any indication, and Jin smirks against his lips as he tangles a hand into Kame’s hair and kisses him harder.
It figures a kiss between them would be like a fight, all demanding and difficult and furious. And really, it’s just what Jin wants; he doesn’t need any deep emotions attached to it, not right now, not when Kame is slipping a hand under Jin’s shirt, pressing it flat against his stomach and mutters a breathy, “Jin,” against his lips before he travels down with his mouth, sucking at a spot beneath Jin’s jaw.
And then Jin finds himself pushed upon his back against the couch, Kame moving above him and staring down with dark eyes beneath his bangs. Jin’s heart feels like a jackhammer in his chest, strangely nervous for reasons he can’t comprehend; it’s just Kame, he reminds himself, but maybe that’s exactly the point.
“J-Just for the record,” Jin starts to say as Kame presses his lips to the corner of Jin’s mouth and trails down his neck, “I totally don’t think you’re hot when I’m a guy.” At least, he didn’t (not really), and he hopes that when he turns back into a boy, there won’t be any lingering feelings.
Kame tenses for a moment and Jin wonders if he said the wrong thing, but then Kame laughs against his collarbone, breath warm and ticklish, and when he looks up at Jin, he says, “I know,” and that’s it.
Jin doesn’t miss the slightly disappointed tone, nor the look in Kame’s eyes that is kind of sad and hopeful at the same time. He also doesn’t want to think about what it means, and does the only thing he knows can fix the discomfort settling in his veins. He pulls Kame down hard with a hand in his hair and presses their mouths together again.
Kissing easily distracts Jin from the possible consequences, from the feelings, from everything else. It's just him and Kame, it doesn't have to be about anything else, and it's enough to at least delude himself into thinking that the attraction he's been feeling for Kame ever since he turned into a girl is just physical.
And it helps that Kame is fucking good at this. Jin's never really thought about it before (really) but he certainly seems to know what he's doing, his hand beneath Jin's shirt slips up and pushes aside his bra. Jin keens as Kame's palm presses against his breast and then rubs his nipple between his fingers. He had already figured out this pleasure on his own but it's infinitely better when it's someone else, and Jin's craving for it, feeling his arousal starts it's slow burn, like wildfire spreading out through his veins.
"Kame--" Jin gasps, pushing his hips against Kame, startled to feel Kame hard against his thigh. He catches Kame's eyes and they're unlike anything Jin's ever seen from him before and it sends chills down his spine. He licks his lips. Despite the ridiculous fantasies he had about Kame over the past week (there were more than he'd like to admit), he's never wanted Kame as much as he does right now.
It must show on his face because Kame's muttering, "Okay, okay," and then pulling his shirt up over his head.
Jin knows Kame's been working out or something because he's seen the magazine shoots and the TV appearances (other things he'll take to the grave with him) and Kame's definitely not that skinny kid when they first joined this business. And Jin can't deny he likes this better, reaching out to trail his fingers along the skin, watching with amazement at how Kame sucks in a breath and lets it out shakily.
Jin leans up and kisses him again, runs his hand over Kame's shoulder and down his back, feels the muscles move as Kame pulls him closer. His legs wrap around Kame's hips and Kame grinds against him and it's possibly the best thing Jin's ever felt.
Kame grabs the hem of Jin's shirt and yanks it up over Jin's head, breaking their kiss for as long as it takes and then he's back in Jin's mouth. Jin's hair falls in cascades over his shoulders and Kame slips his fingers through the long strands, pulls back to laugh, "This is so weird," which makes Jin laugh as well.
"How do you think I feel?" Jin replies, but Kame simply smirks against his jaw and doesn't reply. Jin's not really looking for an answer anyway, especially since Kame's using his mouth for much better things, like leaning down to flick his tongue against a nipple.
"Oh, shit," Jin breathes, tightening his fingers into Kame's hair. He takes it back; this is possibly the best thing Jin's ever felt and if Kame stops anytime soon, Jin just might kill him.
Thankfully Kame doesn't seem keen on stopping, and Jin's unintelligible gasps are fueling him on, directing him to what Jin likes as a girl.
Jin seems to like everything. Sex is something he doesn't have to really think about but this is entirely different from what he knows, and he's starting to think that sex as a girl might be better than as a guy.
Of course they've only just gotten started, but Jin already feels like he's coming undone at the seams. He squirms against Kame, who either doesn't seem to understand Jin's need or is ignoring it (Jin wouldn't be surprised by the latter), and it's only when Jin shoves a hand between them to rub at the hardness in Kame's pants that Kame finally stops and lets out this entirely sexy groan.
The sound permanently embeds itself into Jin's brain and if Jin wasn't turned on before, he most certainly was now.
He pushes Kame back, ignoring his grumble when his head hits the armrest of the couch, but then Jin is climbing on top of him and Kame's eyes widen as he takes in the sight: Jin, with his long hair spilling down his back, his bra undone and slipping awkwardly off one shoulder, and the slight quirk of his lips as he presses his tongue to the corner of his mouth.
"Fuck," Kame hisses as Jin moves against him and brings a hand up to brush over his breasts.
"You think I'm hot, don't you?" Jin demands gleefully because Kame's evaded the question every time Jin's brought it up. He wouldn't be doing this if he didn't right? But Jin wants to hear it.
"No," Kame says defiantly, gently rocking back to meet Jin's movements and groaning when Jin stops, clearly disapproving of Kame's answer.
Jin raises a brow, looks amused. "Oh, really?" he questions.
Kame narrows his eyes. "What do you want from me, Akanishi?"
Jin's heart flips a little in his chest; just awhile ago Kame had called him "Jin." He purses his lips in mock-thought, and then replies, "I just want to hear you say it."
Kame looks like he's eager to defy Jin's request, but Jin still isn't moving, and Jin knows Kame knows this won't get any further if he doesn't give in. "Fuck," Kame snaps, "you're even more infuriating as a girl."
Jin smirks and Kame adds angrily, "Fine, fuck, you're hot! Is that what gets you off, Akanishi?"
Jin just laughs and leans down to press his lips against Kame's just once. "Maybe," he answers easily, and then adds, whispering into Kame’s ear, "And I like it when you call me Jin."
Kame's eyes lose their fury and are instead replaced with surprise and slowly soften into something like affection. He pulls Jin close again, lips just breaths away from each other, and murmurs, “Jin,” before kissing him.
And it’s a gentler, deeper, warmer kiss than the others before it, and Jin’s mind reels with the feeling sweeping up inside of him. He tries not to think about how this is becoming more than just some ridiculous desire to be with Kame and focuses on everything else, like how Kame’s fingers slide down his stomach to the hem of his jeans, popping the buttons and pulling on the zipper until he pushes Jin backwards to tug harshly on his clothing. Jin wriggles his hips to help, and once his jeans fall in a pile of fabric onto the floor, he instantly grabs for Kame’s, wrenching the belt buckle undone until Kame merely stands up to get his pants off.
Jin kneels up on the couch and pulls him close by hooking his finger into the waistband of Kame’s boxers. Kame meets his lips halfway and Jin’s starting to think he could keep kissing Kame forever.
Of course that’s not why they’re undressed, and that’s not all Jin’s been fantasizing about for the past week. He slides off the couch and brushes past Kame easily, tossing a smirk over his shoulder as he heads for Kame’s bedroom.
Kame follows wordlessly and Jin pushes him down onto the bed before climbing on top of him. Kame lets out a throaty groan when Jin reaches down past his boxers to wrap around his thick erection. It should be weird, but it’s not, and Jin just lets himself do what seems right, what gets a response out of Kame. He slows his pace to piss him off, to get Kame to tug viciously on his hair and crush their mouths together because this is what Jin wants, this undiluted, raw need that’s rippling throughout his body.
And Kame delivers, as if he can read Jin’s mind (he’s always been able to do that, ever since they were kids and Kame just knew what Jin was thinking), and he slips his fingers between Jin’s legs, pushing aside his underwear to touch him directly.
His fingers slip in easily, two at once, and he rubs Jin's clit with his thumb. Jin doesn't bother trying to hide his pleased moan. His head tilts back, long hair falling down behind him, his bangs clinging to his forehead as he rocks his hips into Kame's touch.
"Yes," Jin breathes, "like that."
Kame eyes Jin and says, "You don't seem surprised."
Jin looks at him for a moment and then quickly averts his gaze. He can feel the embarrassment rising in his cheeks, mixing in with the flush of pleasure that is overtaking his entire being.
Kame accuses, "You did this before, didn't you?" and Jin's resolute silence gives him away. Kame seems mostly intrigued and fingers Jin harder until Jin is groaning for it. "You touched yourself like this, didn't you?"
"I WAS CURIOUS!" Jin defends dramatically. "I bet you would be too, if you'd fucking turned into a girl!"
Kame smirks. "What were you thinking about, Jin?" he asks, his voice dropping into his dangerous low sound. It makes Jin gasp, rock his hips faster.
"Were you thinking about me?" Kame continues teasingly and when Jin's body tightens around his fingers, Kame knows it's the truth. "You were," he says, entirely too smug about it, and Jin is half tempted to punch that look right off him, but then Kame would definitely stop touching him and that's the very last thing Jin wants.
"Yes," he admits finally. "I was thinking about you."
Kame looks like he wasn't excepting a confirmation but then his grin widens. "What did you want me to do to you, Jin?" he questions easily like he doesn't fucking know, and his ministrations slow down, just a gentle pressure where Jin wants it, not enough, definitely not enough. He's going to make Jin say it, just like Jin made him, earlier. Fucking bastard.
"What do you think?" Jin snaps furiously. "Stop being a fucking tease and- god-touch me."
Kame does, just barely, and Jin is rethinking the punching thing, when Kame leans up and kisses his throat.
"What else, Jin?" he asks and Jin shudders from the tone of voice, from just hearing his name fall from Kame's lips.
Jin presses his hand down against Kame's shoulder, nails digging into the skin as Kame works his fingers with surprising expertise. Jin can feel his brain melting out of his ears, can feel arousal sweeping like waves inside him, and he's so close, so fucking close, he can barely answer Kame's question and his voice comes out in ragged breaths. "Oh, fuck, I want-I want you to fuck me, Kame-oh."
He comes as his mind fills with the image of Kame fucking him, shuddering above Kame as he continues to stretch him through the sensation until Jin smacks his hand away from the over-stimulation.
"Do you have--" Jin starts impatiently and is cut off when Kame instantly reaches for the side table and pulls out a condom from the drawer.
Jin snatches it from him unceremoniously and Kame lets out an amused chuckle that turns into a groan when Jin pulls his boxers down and onto the floor and gets a hand around him again. Jin glances up at him as he puts the condom on for him, Kame's face unguarded, soft, and Jin's heart starts to beat wildly in his chest. Despite everything up until now, he's actually a little nervous, but he tries not to let it show. He is fucking Akanishi Jin, after all. Even if he is a girl.
Kame pulls Jin's underwear down his legs and Jin straddles him again, takes Kame's cock in his hand and slowly lowers himself down.
"Oh my god," Jin exhales, feeling like all the air out of his lungs has escaped as Kame fills him completely, thick and full and an incredible sensation that Jin can barely wrap his head around.
They're still for what feels like an eternity, Kame's fingers press into Jin's waist and he's breathing harshly through his nose, his eyes closed, hidden by his bangs. Right now he looks the most attractive Jin's ever seen him, and he burns the image into his mind as he tries to regain his bearings.
"Jin," Kame groans then, "if you don't fucking move right now, I'll kill you."
Jin almost laughs; Kame bossing him around, even in this situation, is comforting and entirely appropriate. He sucks in a deep breath and follows orders.
And it's like white noise rushes in his ears, the way it feels as he gently fucks himself on Kame until he gets used to the feeling of him inside him, stretching him. It's completely different from just his fingers and Jin's still teetering on that edge, eager for more, to feel everything he possibly can, wanting it all at once. It's radiating inside him, this unbridled energy, and he can soon throw caution to the wind and rides Kame properly, triumphant.
"Fuck, Jin," Kame hisses as he grabs Jin's hair and yanks him down, pressing an open-mouthed, wet kiss against Jin's lips, and Jin lets out this pure, raw sound that seems to shake the walls.
It's building up in him again, the intensity, and as Kame starts to finally rock his hips up into Jin's efforts, it becomes too much to ignore. Kame's hitting him just right, and his fingers are stroking his inner thighs, a gentle counterpart to their erratic rhythm and it makes Jin's blood pound harder in his chest.
He knows he’s not going to last and from the way Kame’s fingers tighten in his hip, how he presses staggering kisses across Jin’s jaw, Jin knows Kame’s close too. This, right now, is unlike anything else he’s ever experienced before, probably the best fucking sex he’s ever had, and he wants to draw it out but knows he can’t, doesn’t have that kind of patience, not when the need is wrestling inside of him.
“Kame,” Jin moans, as he starts to lose it, giving into it, feeling it wash over him, “Kame, Kame, Kame--”
And Kame just snaps, “Shut up, fuck, just shut up,” and he pulls Jin down and kisses him roughly, and just like that, Jin comes again, writhing against Kame as his whole body thrums in this fiery, breathless pleasure.
Kame isn’t far behind, just pushing into Jin’s body that clenches around him before he comes, too, and Jin doesn’t even care about collapsing upon him afterward, too shaky, too content to even conceive the idea of moving.
Of course Kame is the one to ruin Jin’s moment (instantly back to being the Destroyer of All of Jin’s Happiness, even though he might have just been the Reason For All of Jin’s Happiness), and grumbles, “Get off me, Akanishi.”
Jin does, just rolls off him and curls up on his side, silently watches Kame pull off the condom and knot it before getting up to throw it away in the bathroom. When he returns he looks down at Jin, lying naked and blissful across his bed and sighs.
“This is fucked up,” he says and Jin laughs, grabs his hand and yanks him back into bed.
“Our relationship has always been pretty fucked up,” Jin says, feeling this strange need to cuddle, pressing his cheek against Kame’s shoulder. He actually doesn’t mind because Kame is very warm and Jin doesn’t want to let go, not yet (and ignores the notion in his head that it’s because he doesn’t want this to just be about the sex).
Kame’s fingers end up in Jin’s hair, slowing running through the long strands, and he says so quietly the Jin almost doesn't hear him, “Not always.”
He’s right, it wasn’t always like that, but Jin doesn’t know what to say. Instead he just closes his eyes, moves closer to Kame’s heat, and thinks that he can figure it all out in the morning.
~
The sun’s blinding brightness is what wakes Jin up that next morning, squinting as he tries to adjust to the light and his surroundings, which, as they come into focus, is definitely not his own bedroom.
When his gaze lands on Kame, the previous night comes rushing back like he’s been hit in the back of the head with a blunt object. His almost initial reaction is to scream, but he doesn’t, because he’s staring at Kame’s face, smooth with sleep, and feels this incredible warmth spreading throughout him from where, he’s surprised to find, Kame’s arms wrapped around his waist.
And that’s when he notices the lack of very obvious female parts that should be on his body, and he almost knocks Kame out of bed when he twists away to investigate.
“Oh my god,” he says quietly, like he can’t really believe it, “I’m a boy again.”
And then he shakes Kame awake furiously to exclaim, “LOOK, I’M A BOY AGAIN.”
It seems like it’s taking all of Kame’s energy to actually open his eyes but when he does, he glances up at Jin’s eager face and then down along his body. “So you are,” Kame says, eyeing Jin, until Jin flushes indignantly and shoves his face away.
Kame lets out a small laugh as he gets out of bed and stretches and Jin finds himself shamelessly staring at the way his muscles move along his back, before realizing just what he’s doing. He looks away quickly, sensing that familiar feeling he’s felt for the whole of last week creeping up inside of him. He glances back at Kame who seems entirely unconcerned about his nudity, watches as he rifles through his closet for clothes.
“Um,” Jin says, awkwardly, and Kame turns to look at him over his shoulder. Jin drops his gaze to the bedspread and gnaws on the corner of his mouth.
“What?” Kame asks as he pulls on a pair of sweatpants that hang loose around his hips, and Jin definitely did not just think that it looks kind of sexy.
“N-Nothing,” Jin replies quickly, wondering what the fuck his brain is doing, why his heart is suddenly beating so madly.
Kame obviously doesn’t buy this, and he’s back at the bed, standing across from Jin with his arms crossed over his chest expectantly. “It’s clearly something,” he says and Jin is trying to look anywhere but at him. “Spit it out,” Kame demands when Jin continues to keep quiet.
“What happens now?!” Jin exclaims finally, and meets Kame’s eyes that grow wide in surprise. He clearly wasn’t expecting this, and, truthfully, neither was Jin. He definitely wasn’t expecting to turn back to a boy so soon, definitely wasn’t expecting to wake up and find Kame just as hot as he did as a girl, find that all of those feelings that had been populating inside of him over the past week were actually here to stay. He wasn’t expecting to find that maybe...just maybe, he didn’t mind.
He thinks--his head spins, not because thinking is hard but because maybe there’s something there. Their relationship is fucked up, he said so himself and yet, Kame... Of all people, Kame is the one to say, “Not always,” like Kame’s thought about this before, like Kame doesn’t see the mess of yarn and bittersweet syrupy mess that doesn’t let them figure out their obviously fucked up relationship.
Kame assesses Jin in silence and Jin stares back feeling vulnerable and uncertain. Then Kame says, “What exactly do you mean?”
Trust Kame to turn it around, to not give his opinion and make Jin do it first instead. Jin doesn’t really know, so all that comes out is a mess of his thoughts. “I-I mean,” he starts, twisting the bedsheets in his hands, “this, between us, what happened last night. W-Where do we go from here? Is this...it?”
Everything he says sounds stupid to his own ears but he doesn’t know how else to express it. He waits with uncertainty, this strange and terrifying feeling in his chest because he doesn’t really know what he wants from Kame, what he even wants from himself. Because it’s not just anyone he has a fucked up relationship with, it’s Kame. And Kame isn’t just Kame, he’s The Destroyer of All of Jin’s Happiness. And also the Creator of It and the Cause, more than half the time, and maybe Jin’s starting to remember that.
Just as he begins to think that maybe he’s read into this all wrong, that Kame isn’t actually interested in him, that maybe last night was some spur of the moment thing (it really wasn’t, for Jin, now that he thinks about it), he feels the bed dip as Kame climbs up on it and Kame pushes up on Jin’s chin with his fingers until Jin is looking right back at him.
“You idiot,” he says and just as Jin opens his mouth to retort, Kame kisses him.
Somehow it’s instantly better than the kisses they shared last night, it’s better, really, than any kiss Jin’s ever had before. He kisses back enthusiastically, pulling at the waistband of Kame’s jeans to get him closer and sighing with pleasure into his mouth when Kame presses his fingers against the back of his neck.
“This is much better with you as a guy,” Kame says when they break apart and Jin laughs, rests his forehead against Kame’s shoulder.
“We’re not going to talk about this, are we?”
“We can.” Kame pauses, dramatic like the Kame Jin’s known for years. A smirk creeps to his mouth before he jerks his head towards the bed. “But I think I want to see whether Jin is any better than Jinko.”
“Do not. Call. Me. Jinko.”
“Then you better make me call your name out, good and loud, Jin.”
Jin laughs again as Kame pushes Jin down against the mattress. “I should probably tell someone I’m a boy again,” Jin says.
“Later,” Kame advises and presses his lips to Jin’s.
bonus
“Jin.”
“Yamashita, if you’re calling to say Jin’s hot--”
“No, I have a problem.”
“Pi, why does your voice sound weird?” Jin asks over the phone as he pulls on a pair of Kame’s sweatpants and an overpriced posh and sparkly cardigan. “Are you alright?”
“Jin, I think I, uh. I might have caught your problem.”
Kame starts laughing the moment Jin tells him. They hang up and then call Ryo.
“Do you think he’ll figure it out?” Jin asks Kame as they try to get changed for work because Kame’s making it excessively difficult by trying to take off the clothes Jin puts on. “I mean, they’re not the brightest people in the planet. Should we tell them?”
“No.”
“True. They did laugh at me. No one else wanted to dance with me that night as well,” Jin adds, mock sulking. “Imagine if it had been Pi or Ryo that pulled me out onto the dancefloor and they were the one in the magazine scandal and--and--” He doesn’t get anymore time to mock Kame because they’re both too busy laughing when Ryo spams their phones with one million text messages asking for their magic cure to Yamapi’s legitmate boobs.