fic; beautiful nightmare
Title: Beautiful Nightmare
Pairing: Yamapi/Jin
Rating: NC-17 for borderline dub-con/non-con
Prompt: Yamapi finds an email or cached webpage or something where he learns that Jin fantasizes about being anonymously raped. Whether Jin can tell who it is or not is up to the writer.
Author’s Note: 3052 words. For the jetrickortreat meme. Originally posted here.
The second he sees it, he knows he wasn’t supposed to.
He also knows he should click out of the email, right now, pretend he never saw it and move on with life. But Yamapi can’t tear his eyes away, staring with a mix of both shock and intrigue at the words on the laptop screen. It’s Jin’s fault, he thinks, leaving this email pulled up like that, definitely not his fault for being too lazy to get his own laptop to check his mail, nope. It’s all Jin’s dumb fault that Yamapi has seen what Jin obviously doesn’t want anyone to see, the email address spot blank as though he’s wanted to send it, but never figured out who, and just left it saved in his drafts instead.
Yamapi quickly puts the computer back as it was when he hears Jin returning from the kitchen, and to avoid his best friend’s eyes, rushes to hide in the bathroom. He wants to forget what he saw but the thought has permanently burned itself into his mind, and as he leans back against the bathroom door and closes his eyes, it’s all he can see behind his eyelids.
The idea doesn’t disturb him as much as he’d have thought, in fact what upsets him most is that Jin never told him about it. Of course, Yamapi’s not sure exactly what he should be feeling, knows it’s probably just a fantasy, just something Jin probably saw in a porn or read about or something and wants to try; probably not something he really wants, because, who would?
But then Yamapi remembers that the email was pulled up now, that it wasn’t something he happened to find buried deep in Jin’s inbox. It means that no matter when Jin first started thinking about this, he still wants it now.
Yamapi’s not sure if that makes it better or worse.
“Pi! What’re you doing? I thought we were gonna watch a movie!” Jin’s voice startles Yamapi and he stammers out a, “S-Sorry, start without me, I’ll be right there!”
Sighing Yamapi washes his face a few times with cold water, clears his head, and forces himself to push what he’d seen from his head. It was one thing to learn about it, but it was completely different when he couldn’t get the idea of Jin wanting to be anonymously raped out of his own head.
-
The idea doesn’t leave. Two weeks later and Yamapi is still thinking about it, more than is normal. He wonders what’s wrong with him because something must be if he’s continuously thinking about his best friend being raped, imagining the raw screams from his throat, the sheer fright in his eyes, only to hate himself for it afterward because it’s so wrong.
And yet he knows that it’s what Jin wants, and somehow that makes thinking about it okay. It becomes something that haunts his dreams, his every waking breath, the only thing he can think about until Yamapi starts to realize it might be because he wants to do it.
This revelation makes him more confused than ever, disgusted with himself for even thinking it. But when he tries to ignore it, a few days later it’ll come back stronger than ever. His dreams are lucid and vivid, so real that he can almost hear Jin’s voice screaming in his ear, can feel his body trembling, muscles tightening around Yamapi’s cock as he fucks him relentlessly, as the rush of power fills his heart, his mind, hi soul; until he wakes up and comes untouched in his bed.
That’s how he knows he’s got a problem, and for another week he tries to hide it best he can. It’s hard though when the person he can’t stop thinking about is his best friend and his roommate, especially when Jin can read Yamapi like a book.
He’s not surprised when Jin corners him about it, concerned eyes and worried expression, and when he pats Yamapi’s shoulder comfortingly, Yamapi feels a swoop of pleasure that puts his nerves on end instantly.
“You okay?” Jin asks. “You look like you haven’t slept for weeks.”
Because he hasn’t, but Yamapi bites his tongue, schools his face, and shakes his head, offering a small smile. “I’m great, just overworked,” he says.
Jin doesn’t buy it, Yamapi can tell. “You sure?” he says.
Yamapi nods firmly. “Really,” he insists, and grins for effect. “Don’t worry about me. I have a slow week coming up, so I’ll probably just sleep.”
He can tell Jin doesn’t look completely convinced but at least he backs off, his hand sliding off Yamapi’s shoulder and leaving Yamapi feeling strangely empty for a second afterward.
“If you say so,” Jin replies finally and Yamapi nods.
“I do,” he says brightly, and once Jin laughs, Yamapi deems the discussion closed, returns to his bedroom and closes the door after him.
It’s gotten worse, he thinks, collapsing in bed and pressing his face to his palms. His body aches for Jin’s touch again, not caring how simple of a gesture it was, it made all of him burn with pleasure and want, remembering his dreams, remembering Jin’s own wants, and he doesn’t know what to do anymore. Telling Jin about it is out of the question, so is telling anyone else, because he’d have to admit he saw Jin’s email, and even though he knows he should just come clean, the thought is still there, pushing its way to the front of his mind: if he doesn’t tell anyone, he could still do it, fulfill Jin’s fantasy as well as his own.
Yamapi doesn’t sleep again that night. But at least when the sun rises the next morning, he’s come to a decision.
-
His heart is hammering dangerously in his chest; it sounds so loud he wonders why no one else can hear it, though granted, no one else is around where he is hiding in the shadows beside the club he and Jin had entered nearly four hours ago.
Yamapi, however, had excused himself twenty minutes ago, claiming he was too exhausted to keep this up. Jin didn’t question it, told him he’d probably be heading out within the hour, and they’d bid their farewells. Except Yamapi didn’t go home. Instead he waited beside the back door that he knew Jin would use to exit, waited in the dark shadows of the alleyway for Jin to come out.
He feels both exhilarated and scared, being in this position seeming just a little too real, but he’s already psyched himself up to do it that he can’t back out now.
Every time the door opens Yamapi’s heart jumps in his chest, only to deflate in disappointment when Jin doesn’t come out. But he doesn’t have to wait that much longer, his ears ringing with apprehension when finally Jin walks through the doorway, letting the door swing shut loudly after him. He’s obviously a little drunk, and doesn’t notice Yamapi in the darkness, whistling as he heads toward the street.
Only once his back is to Yamapi does Yamapi sneak up behind him, using all of his mental and physical strength to grab Jin back the arm and pull. The second a yelp leaves Jin’s mouth, Yamapi’s hand is there, covering his lips, covering his shout, and he’s pushing Jin hard toward the building, pressing him up against the brick until Jin is struggling, fighting, kicking his feet back to trip Yamapi up.
It doesn’t work and Yamapi finds himself smirking, leaning forward with his whole body and pressing up against Jin. He swipes his lips along Jin’s ear and Jin jerks away, panic rising within him and Yamapi can almost sense it. He wants to tell Jin to stop moving, but he also knows the second he speaks it’ll give him away and that doesn’t go along with what Jin wants, so he keeps his mouth shut.
But he wants to hear Jin, and slowly removes his hand from Jin’s mouth. Jin’s gasp of air fuels Yamapi’s desire and he grinds his hips against Jin’s ass, already feels himself growing hard, and when Jin tries to push himself away, Yamapi quickly grabs both of his wrists within his hand and pins them behind his back.
Jin struggles again, cries out, “What the fuck are you doing? Let me go!”
Yamapi itches to respond but forces himself not to, only rocks his hips harder against Jin and delighting sadistically at the moan that Jin can’t stop falling from his lips. He reaches his free hand around Jin’s hip and brushes his fingers along the front of Jin’s pants, at the growing bulge there, and that tiny wonder whether Jin honestly wanted this vanishes from the back of his brain. He definitely does if the way his hips jerk involuntarily into Yamapi’s touch is any indication, but then in the next second he’s bucking backward, trying to shove Yamapi off him. He’s successful, only a little, as Yamapi’s stumbles, grip on Jin’s wrists loosening, and Jin breaks free.
It’s short-lived however because Yamapi catches himself quickly before Jin can turn around, grabs Jin’s arms and pulls them over his head, presses him up against the wall again, this time with more force and Jin makes a sound of pain that makes Yamapi feel slightly guilty despite everything. It doesn’t deter him from the task at hand though, reaching back to Jin’s front and undoing the buckle of his belt, the fastenings on his jeans. Jin makes a scared noise, tries to twist away but Yamapi doesn’t let him.
“Please,” Jin begs, his throat thick, voice high in fright, and Yamapi just gives a dark, deep sort of chuckle, unable to help it.
He feels Jin shiver and it makes his skin burn, heat pooling in his groin as his desperation rises. He wants to make Jin scream.
He pushes Jin’s pants and boxers down his thighs, ignoring Jin’s whimpers and pleas to stop and takes his cock in his hand, strokes hard and rough and brings him to full hardness in seconds.
“Stop it,” Jin says in a cross between angry and desperate, but Yamapi can hear the want lining his voice. “I don’t want this!”
“Really?” Yamapi finds himself saying, eyes widening in surprise, because he’d been doing such a good job at keeping silent and now he’s sure he’s given himself away. But Jin doesn’t seem to acknowledge it at all, still tense, still fighting, sucking in a deep breath and slowly letting it out, and his hips rock forward into Yamapi’s hand. That’s when he figures it doesn’t matter, not really, because they both are aching for release, for more, and Yamapi wants to coax him a little, rile him up and make this fantasy come alive. It’s all for Jin, he tells himself, no matter how much he knows he wants it too.
“Please,” Jin is saying again, and he almost sounds on the verge of tears. “Don’t do this.”
“But you like it,” Yamapi returns, dropping his voice into a deep whisper, hopes it’s just enough to mask his identity even a little. He rubs his thumb across the head of Jin’s cock, smirks into the nape of his neck when Jin twitches. “See?” he says darkly as he does it again, and again, “You love it, you little whore.”
He’s not sure where these words are coming from but his body seems to approve, as does Jin’s, pressing into the cave of his hand even though he continues to deny it verbally. “You really want this, don’t you?” Yamapi continues. “Look at you all hot and hard for me, you want to be fucked like this, hard and raw. I bet this is what you always think about, isn’t it?”
Jin violently shakes his head, gasping out a “No,” when Yamapi presses his thumb against the slit at the head and then lowers his pace because he can feel he’s close.
“Don’t lie,” Yamapi snaps loudly, and he pushes Jin hard up against the wall, inwardly hopes he’s not scratching up Jin’s face, but not willing to break character to check. “Say it, say that you want it. I know you do.”
Jin doesn’t give in; Yamapi didn’t expect him to. He continues to shake his head and mutter denial after denial until Yamapi gets sick of it and pushes his jeans further down his legs. Jin thrashes against him, clearly realizing what’s happening next, and pleads, “Don’t! I don’t want this!”
Yamapi just laughs again and replies, “I want to hear you scream for me.”
Singlehandedly he gets his jeans undone and pushes them down, though not before grabbing the foil rectangle of lube he’d put in earlier that night. Despite how much Jin wants this, despite how much Yamapi wants it, he still won’t let himself hurt Jin, not like that, and when he hears Jin’s faint exhale he knows Jin’s glad for it, too.
Of course it doesn’t stop him from being a little rough, coating his fingers and pushing in two instantly, hooking them just right and pressing against that spot which has Jin keening, crying out in a blend of agony and gratification. The sound is beautiful, raw and rich and real, and Yamapi spares a moment to relish it, thinks about hearing it again, in much calmer, sweeter, lighter environment. That idea startles him a little because despite what they’re doing now, he’s never quite thought about Jin like that and wonders now if that’s what drew him to play this part in the first place.
But he pushes those thoughts away for now because Jin is pushing his hips back against Yamapi’s fingers instinctively and it makes Yamapi chuckle darkly into Jin’s ear.
“Stop,” Jin cries again, struggling more, except it only pushes Yamapi’s fingers in deeper, brushing harder right where he wants it, and doesn’t dissuade Yamapi in the slightest.
“Shut up,” Yamapi snarls, tightens his fingers around Jin’s wrists that still hold his arms over his head, straining with the pressure and Jin whimpers when Yamapi pulls his fingers out in the next second. He ignores Jin’s requests to stop, aligning himself properly and grabbing Jin’s hip with his free hand. He pulls him back as the thrusts in and his groan is completely drowned out by Jin’s wail, his voice sharp and piercing the night sky, but not enough to have anyone looking, the bass from the club audible all around the area. But all Yamapi hears is Jin, clouding his senses, igniting a flame inside him that spreads like wildfire as Jin’s body fights him, all tight, hot heat that suffocates him.
Jin lets out a choked sob when Yamapi finally starts to move, setting a fast, hard pace that has his body searing with so much pleasure he doesn’t know what to do with it. He already knows he won’t last long, Jin’s body involuntarily starting to accept him. He angles his hips and knows he’s found that spot again as Jin trembles fiercely, his head falling forward and gasping deep breaths, completely giving up in struggling anymore, although the occasional pleas to stop fall from his parted lips.
“God,” Yamapi breathes, slamming into Jin harder, “so fucking tight.” He has to catch himself from saying Jin’s name, wanting to see how Jin would react, wanting to hear Jin say his name.
But now is not the time or place, and he just fucks Jin harder, rougher as he feels the pit of his stomach knotting tightly with need, release so tangible he can just about taste it on his tongue. He holds out, wanting to feel Jin come around him first, slides his hand from Jin’s hip back down to his cock, and that’s it. Jin screams as Yamapi strokes him just a few times, swipes his thumb at the head again, and comes hard, over and over again across Yamapi’s fingers and onto the wall in front of him.
Yamapi grunts deeply into the top of Jin’s spine, feels Jin shaking in his hold, releases his wrists to grab Jin’s waist to pound into him once, twice, three more times before he follows, white waves of ecstasy just about blinding him as his eyes clench shut and he feels his entire body tingling from head to toe.
Yamapi doesn’t want anything more than to collapse with Jin, hold him close, but for the sake of the situation, he pulls out and puts himself bath together wordlessly, letting Jin fall to the ground, his legs too unstable to keep him standing. Jin is staring at the ground and Yamapi laughs at him, leaning down to brush his fingers up Jin’s arm and press a kiss to the nape of his neck. Jin flinches and Yamapi backs off, turns on his heel, and leaves.
Except he waits around the corner again, waits until he sees that Jin is okay, able to pick himself up and head to his car in the parking lot. Yamapi gets a cab and follows Jin home, and hears Jin in the shower when he arrives a few minutes after him.
Jin doesn’t come to check on him and Yamapi doesn’t sleep for awhile, but once he does, it’s the most peaceful sleep he’s had in weeks.
-
They never bring it up.
Then three days later Jin hands Yamapi his wallet, the one Yamapi couldn’t find since the night at the club, even though he could’ve sworn he’d had it when he left, and says, “You dropped it that night. I kept forgetting to give it back.”
Yamapi takes it from him slowly, his heart racing when their fingers brush over the leather, and when he meets Jin’s eyes, he knows. “Thanks,” he says slowly.
Jin just shrugs like it’s nothing and heads back to his room, and his shoulder brushes against Yamapi’s as he walks past him, sending a circuit of electricity through him. Yamapi turns to look at him over his shoulder and his breath catches in his throat when Jin glances up from his doorway. Their eyes meet again and it feels a little like an eternity and forever passes before Jin smirks and disappears into his room.
Pairing: Yamapi/Jin
Rating: NC-17 for borderline dub-con/non-con
Prompt: Yamapi finds an email or cached webpage or something where he learns that Jin fantasizes about being anonymously raped. Whether Jin can tell who it is or not is up to the writer.
Author’s Note: 3052 words. For the jetrickortreat meme. Originally posted here.
The second he sees it, he knows he wasn’t supposed to.
He also knows he should click out of the email, right now, pretend he never saw it and move on with life. But Yamapi can’t tear his eyes away, staring with a mix of both shock and intrigue at the words on the laptop screen. It’s Jin’s fault, he thinks, leaving this email pulled up like that, definitely not his fault for being too lazy to get his own laptop to check his mail, nope. It’s all Jin’s dumb fault that Yamapi has seen what Jin obviously doesn’t want anyone to see, the email address spot blank as though he’s wanted to send it, but never figured out who, and just left it saved in his drafts instead.
Yamapi quickly puts the computer back as it was when he hears Jin returning from the kitchen, and to avoid his best friend’s eyes, rushes to hide in the bathroom. He wants to forget what he saw but the thought has permanently burned itself into his mind, and as he leans back against the bathroom door and closes his eyes, it’s all he can see behind his eyelids.
The idea doesn’t disturb him as much as he’d have thought, in fact what upsets him most is that Jin never told him about it. Of course, Yamapi’s not sure exactly what he should be feeling, knows it’s probably just a fantasy, just something Jin probably saw in a porn or read about or something and wants to try; probably not something he really wants, because, who would?
But then Yamapi remembers that the email was pulled up now, that it wasn’t something he happened to find buried deep in Jin’s inbox. It means that no matter when Jin first started thinking about this, he still wants it now.
Yamapi’s not sure if that makes it better or worse.
“Pi! What’re you doing? I thought we were gonna watch a movie!” Jin’s voice startles Yamapi and he stammers out a, “S-Sorry, start without me, I’ll be right there!”
Sighing Yamapi washes his face a few times with cold water, clears his head, and forces himself to push what he’d seen from his head. It was one thing to learn about it, but it was completely different when he couldn’t get the idea of Jin wanting to be anonymously raped out of his own head.
-
The idea doesn’t leave. Two weeks later and Yamapi is still thinking about it, more than is normal. He wonders what’s wrong with him because something must be if he’s continuously thinking about his best friend being raped, imagining the raw screams from his throat, the sheer fright in his eyes, only to hate himself for it afterward because it’s so wrong.
And yet he knows that it’s what Jin wants, and somehow that makes thinking about it okay. It becomes something that haunts his dreams, his every waking breath, the only thing he can think about until Yamapi starts to realize it might be because he wants to do it.
This revelation makes him more confused than ever, disgusted with himself for even thinking it. But when he tries to ignore it, a few days later it’ll come back stronger than ever. His dreams are lucid and vivid, so real that he can almost hear Jin’s voice screaming in his ear, can feel his body trembling, muscles tightening around Yamapi’s cock as he fucks him relentlessly, as the rush of power fills his heart, his mind, hi soul; until he wakes up and comes untouched in his bed.
That’s how he knows he’s got a problem, and for another week he tries to hide it best he can. It’s hard though when the person he can’t stop thinking about is his best friend and his roommate, especially when Jin can read Yamapi like a book.
He’s not surprised when Jin corners him about it, concerned eyes and worried expression, and when he pats Yamapi’s shoulder comfortingly, Yamapi feels a swoop of pleasure that puts his nerves on end instantly.
“You okay?” Jin asks. “You look like you haven’t slept for weeks.”
Because he hasn’t, but Yamapi bites his tongue, schools his face, and shakes his head, offering a small smile. “I’m great, just overworked,” he says.
Jin doesn’t buy it, Yamapi can tell. “You sure?” he says.
Yamapi nods firmly. “Really,” he insists, and grins for effect. “Don’t worry about me. I have a slow week coming up, so I’ll probably just sleep.”
He can tell Jin doesn’t look completely convinced but at least he backs off, his hand sliding off Yamapi’s shoulder and leaving Yamapi feeling strangely empty for a second afterward.
“If you say so,” Jin replies finally and Yamapi nods.
“I do,” he says brightly, and once Jin laughs, Yamapi deems the discussion closed, returns to his bedroom and closes the door after him.
It’s gotten worse, he thinks, collapsing in bed and pressing his face to his palms. His body aches for Jin’s touch again, not caring how simple of a gesture it was, it made all of him burn with pleasure and want, remembering his dreams, remembering Jin’s own wants, and he doesn’t know what to do anymore. Telling Jin about it is out of the question, so is telling anyone else, because he’d have to admit he saw Jin’s email, and even though he knows he should just come clean, the thought is still there, pushing its way to the front of his mind: if he doesn’t tell anyone, he could still do it, fulfill Jin’s fantasy as well as his own.
Yamapi doesn’t sleep again that night. But at least when the sun rises the next morning, he’s come to a decision.
-
His heart is hammering dangerously in his chest; it sounds so loud he wonders why no one else can hear it, though granted, no one else is around where he is hiding in the shadows beside the club he and Jin had entered nearly four hours ago.
Yamapi, however, had excused himself twenty minutes ago, claiming he was too exhausted to keep this up. Jin didn’t question it, told him he’d probably be heading out within the hour, and they’d bid their farewells. Except Yamapi didn’t go home. Instead he waited beside the back door that he knew Jin would use to exit, waited in the dark shadows of the alleyway for Jin to come out.
He feels both exhilarated and scared, being in this position seeming just a little too real, but he’s already psyched himself up to do it that he can’t back out now.
Every time the door opens Yamapi’s heart jumps in his chest, only to deflate in disappointment when Jin doesn’t come out. But he doesn’t have to wait that much longer, his ears ringing with apprehension when finally Jin walks through the doorway, letting the door swing shut loudly after him. He’s obviously a little drunk, and doesn’t notice Yamapi in the darkness, whistling as he heads toward the street.
Only once his back is to Yamapi does Yamapi sneak up behind him, using all of his mental and physical strength to grab Jin back the arm and pull. The second a yelp leaves Jin’s mouth, Yamapi’s hand is there, covering his lips, covering his shout, and he’s pushing Jin hard toward the building, pressing him up against the brick until Jin is struggling, fighting, kicking his feet back to trip Yamapi up.
It doesn’t work and Yamapi finds himself smirking, leaning forward with his whole body and pressing up against Jin. He swipes his lips along Jin’s ear and Jin jerks away, panic rising within him and Yamapi can almost sense it. He wants to tell Jin to stop moving, but he also knows the second he speaks it’ll give him away and that doesn’t go along with what Jin wants, so he keeps his mouth shut.
But he wants to hear Jin, and slowly removes his hand from Jin’s mouth. Jin’s gasp of air fuels Yamapi’s desire and he grinds his hips against Jin’s ass, already feels himself growing hard, and when Jin tries to push himself away, Yamapi quickly grabs both of his wrists within his hand and pins them behind his back.
Jin struggles again, cries out, “What the fuck are you doing? Let me go!”
Yamapi itches to respond but forces himself not to, only rocks his hips harder against Jin and delighting sadistically at the moan that Jin can’t stop falling from his lips. He reaches his free hand around Jin’s hip and brushes his fingers along the front of Jin’s pants, at the growing bulge there, and that tiny wonder whether Jin honestly wanted this vanishes from the back of his brain. He definitely does if the way his hips jerk involuntarily into Yamapi’s touch is any indication, but then in the next second he’s bucking backward, trying to shove Yamapi off him. He’s successful, only a little, as Yamapi’s stumbles, grip on Jin’s wrists loosening, and Jin breaks free.
It’s short-lived however because Yamapi catches himself quickly before Jin can turn around, grabs Jin’s arms and pulls them over his head, presses him up against the wall again, this time with more force and Jin makes a sound of pain that makes Yamapi feel slightly guilty despite everything. It doesn’t deter him from the task at hand though, reaching back to Jin’s front and undoing the buckle of his belt, the fastenings on his jeans. Jin makes a scared noise, tries to twist away but Yamapi doesn’t let him.
“Please,” Jin begs, his throat thick, voice high in fright, and Yamapi just gives a dark, deep sort of chuckle, unable to help it.
He feels Jin shiver and it makes his skin burn, heat pooling in his groin as his desperation rises. He wants to make Jin scream.
He pushes Jin’s pants and boxers down his thighs, ignoring Jin’s whimpers and pleas to stop and takes his cock in his hand, strokes hard and rough and brings him to full hardness in seconds.
“Stop it,” Jin says in a cross between angry and desperate, but Yamapi can hear the want lining his voice. “I don’t want this!”
“Really?” Yamapi finds himself saying, eyes widening in surprise, because he’d been doing such a good job at keeping silent and now he’s sure he’s given himself away. But Jin doesn’t seem to acknowledge it at all, still tense, still fighting, sucking in a deep breath and slowly letting it out, and his hips rock forward into Yamapi’s hand. That’s when he figures it doesn’t matter, not really, because they both are aching for release, for more, and Yamapi wants to coax him a little, rile him up and make this fantasy come alive. It’s all for Jin, he tells himself, no matter how much he knows he wants it too.
“Please,” Jin is saying again, and he almost sounds on the verge of tears. “Don’t do this.”
“But you like it,” Yamapi returns, dropping his voice into a deep whisper, hopes it’s just enough to mask his identity even a little. He rubs his thumb across the head of Jin’s cock, smirks into the nape of his neck when Jin twitches. “See?” he says darkly as he does it again, and again, “You love it, you little whore.”
He’s not sure where these words are coming from but his body seems to approve, as does Jin’s, pressing into the cave of his hand even though he continues to deny it verbally. “You really want this, don’t you?” Yamapi continues. “Look at you all hot and hard for me, you want to be fucked like this, hard and raw. I bet this is what you always think about, isn’t it?”
Jin violently shakes his head, gasping out a “No,” when Yamapi presses his thumb against the slit at the head and then lowers his pace because he can feel he’s close.
“Don’t lie,” Yamapi snaps loudly, and he pushes Jin hard up against the wall, inwardly hopes he’s not scratching up Jin’s face, but not willing to break character to check. “Say it, say that you want it. I know you do.”
Jin doesn’t give in; Yamapi didn’t expect him to. He continues to shake his head and mutter denial after denial until Yamapi gets sick of it and pushes his jeans further down his legs. Jin thrashes against him, clearly realizing what’s happening next, and pleads, “Don’t! I don’t want this!”
Yamapi just laughs again and replies, “I want to hear you scream for me.”
Singlehandedly he gets his jeans undone and pushes them down, though not before grabbing the foil rectangle of lube he’d put in earlier that night. Despite how much Jin wants this, despite how much Yamapi wants it, he still won’t let himself hurt Jin, not like that, and when he hears Jin’s faint exhale he knows Jin’s glad for it, too.
Of course it doesn’t stop him from being a little rough, coating his fingers and pushing in two instantly, hooking them just right and pressing against that spot which has Jin keening, crying out in a blend of agony and gratification. The sound is beautiful, raw and rich and real, and Yamapi spares a moment to relish it, thinks about hearing it again, in much calmer, sweeter, lighter environment. That idea startles him a little because despite what they’re doing now, he’s never quite thought about Jin like that and wonders now if that’s what drew him to play this part in the first place.
But he pushes those thoughts away for now because Jin is pushing his hips back against Yamapi’s fingers instinctively and it makes Yamapi chuckle darkly into Jin’s ear.
“Stop,” Jin cries again, struggling more, except it only pushes Yamapi’s fingers in deeper, brushing harder right where he wants it, and doesn’t dissuade Yamapi in the slightest.
“Shut up,” Yamapi snarls, tightens his fingers around Jin’s wrists that still hold his arms over his head, straining with the pressure and Jin whimpers when Yamapi pulls his fingers out in the next second. He ignores Jin’s requests to stop, aligning himself properly and grabbing Jin’s hip with his free hand. He pulls him back as the thrusts in and his groan is completely drowned out by Jin’s wail, his voice sharp and piercing the night sky, but not enough to have anyone looking, the bass from the club audible all around the area. But all Yamapi hears is Jin, clouding his senses, igniting a flame inside him that spreads like wildfire as Jin’s body fights him, all tight, hot heat that suffocates him.
Jin lets out a choked sob when Yamapi finally starts to move, setting a fast, hard pace that has his body searing with so much pleasure he doesn’t know what to do with it. He already knows he won’t last long, Jin’s body involuntarily starting to accept him. He angles his hips and knows he’s found that spot again as Jin trembles fiercely, his head falling forward and gasping deep breaths, completely giving up in struggling anymore, although the occasional pleas to stop fall from his parted lips.
“God,” Yamapi breathes, slamming into Jin harder, “so fucking tight.” He has to catch himself from saying Jin’s name, wanting to see how Jin would react, wanting to hear Jin say his name.
But now is not the time or place, and he just fucks Jin harder, rougher as he feels the pit of his stomach knotting tightly with need, release so tangible he can just about taste it on his tongue. He holds out, wanting to feel Jin come around him first, slides his hand from Jin’s hip back down to his cock, and that’s it. Jin screams as Yamapi strokes him just a few times, swipes his thumb at the head again, and comes hard, over and over again across Yamapi’s fingers and onto the wall in front of him.
Yamapi grunts deeply into the top of Jin’s spine, feels Jin shaking in his hold, releases his wrists to grab Jin’s waist to pound into him once, twice, three more times before he follows, white waves of ecstasy just about blinding him as his eyes clench shut and he feels his entire body tingling from head to toe.
Yamapi doesn’t want anything more than to collapse with Jin, hold him close, but for the sake of the situation, he pulls out and puts himself bath together wordlessly, letting Jin fall to the ground, his legs too unstable to keep him standing. Jin is staring at the ground and Yamapi laughs at him, leaning down to brush his fingers up Jin’s arm and press a kiss to the nape of his neck. Jin flinches and Yamapi backs off, turns on his heel, and leaves.
Except he waits around the corner again, waits until he sees that Jin is okay, able to pick himself up and head to his car in the parking lot. Yamapi gets a cab and follows Jin home, and hears Jin in the shower when he arrives a few minutes after him.
Jin doesn’t come to check on him and Yamapi doesn’t sleep for awhile, but once he does, it’s the most peaceful sleep he’s had in weeks.
-
They never bring it up.
Then three days later Jin hands Yamapi his wallet, the one Yamapi couldn’t find since the night at the club, even though he could’ve sworn he’d had it when he left, and says, “You dropped it that night. I kept forgetting to give it back.”
Yamapi takes it from him slowly, his heart racing when their fingers brush over the leather, and when he meets Jin’s eyes, he knows. “Thanks,” he says slowly.
Jin just shrugs like it’s nothing and heads back to his room, and his shoulder brushes against Yamapi’s as he walks past him, sending a circuit of electricity through him. Yamapi turns to look at him over his shoulder and his breath catches in his throat when Jin glances up from his doorway. Their eyes meet again and it feels a little like an eternity and forever passes before Jin smirks and disappears into his room.