(no subject)
OMG, today has been so productive. I love spending time by myself. I went to Walmart, even though I wanted to avoid it. I got some fruit and supplies for finals week. Today I've made 3 of 5 study guides I need for Finals week. The last 2 are my latest finals. I finished a few more papers too. Tomorrow I'm gonna write journals for spirituality, and revise my 5pg paper if i remember to pick it up from MiddleBush. I also just got to be alone. The only person I really talked to today was my momma, Ryan dropped by tonight so I had a chat with her in passing. And I'm talking to Aaron a lil online.
I'm such a nerd, I was just lamenting about how pointless it is to write Bryan e-mails because I am pretty convinced he won't ever write back. Well, Turns out I'm a big jackass- because he wrote me back today at like 1130- which must have been minutes after i last checked my email. Yea, Hi, I'm an ass. He didn't have too too much to say, I think he;s anxious to hear about wat I've been up to. He's in London for a month, I guess. Whatev that's all about. HE wrote back too about how weird it is that we've been apart for 4 years..he has the same feelings i do where sometimes it feels forever ago- and sometimes it seems so recent. The memories are still soo soo vivid.
Those fucking ugly Blue Suede shoes- who did he think he was Elvis?!
The song that follows has nothing to do with Bryan, because in fact- even though he does try to keep me and I'm definately "thrown". It's really more about a LOT of other people. I think they probably know who they are upon reading this; if you don't...then I'll list names next time.
Stay...
You say I only hear what I want to.
You say I talk so all the time so.
And I thought what I felt was simple,
and I thought that I don't belong,
and now that I am leaving,
now I know that I did something wrong 'cause I missed you.
Yeah yeah, I missed you.
And you say I only hear what I want to:
I don't listen hard,
don't pay attention to the distance that you're running
to anyone, anywhere,
I don't understand if you really care,
I'm only hearing negative: no, no, no.
So I turned the radio on, I turned the radio up,
and this woman was singing my song:
lover's in love, and the other's run away,
lover is crying 'cause the other won't stay.
Some of us hover when we weep for the other who was
dying since the day they were born.
Well, well, this is not that;
I think that I'm throwing, but I'm thrown.
And I thought I'd live forever, but now I'm not so sure.
You try to tell me that I'm clever,
but that won't take me anyhow, or anywhere with you.
You said that I was naive,
and I thought that I was strong.
I thought, "hey, I can leave, I can leave."
Oh, but now I know that I was wrong, 'cause I missed you.
Yeah, I miss you.
You said, "I caught you 'cause I want you and one day I'll let you go."
You try to give away a keeper, or keep me 'cause you know you're just
scared to lose.
And you say, "Stay."
And you say I only hear what I want to.
And no, I'm not fixed yet. I'm still processing a LOT of things that are going on and have gone on. I prolly need a few more days on my own to be honest. This week is all about prepping for finals anyway- so don't expect me to be a social butterfly. I won't have 2 hour late night conversations. I have to see a DR for more tests again on monday- because i have no fucking idea why im dehydrating so damn fast....that and I want a new sleep med- there's one that's new on the market that's okay for long term use and doesnt necessarily get addictive. I don't know when I'll have time for it- because I plan to LIVE in the lab, since I have over 20 hours to get finished. Not sure if ill get to eat any meals this week- but with how sick i got yesterday and today...I'm not really sure I want to anymore. I bought some stuff at Walmart to tide me over- yay for cereal, fruit, and veggies.
I can't wait for my parents to get here. I'm such a dork. I let it all out to my mom today- took over an hour. She was really understanding this time around, thank God- because I think everyone else seems to be missing the main point- and she got it! Yay Mom!!!! May 1st is my parent's 29th Wedding anniversary. I can still remember when I was little, like maybe 5, and my mom put on her wedding dress and ran around the house - i dont know why i remember it, but it was hilarious. :) I'm so all about that I Heart Mom shirt i bought last week at Old Navy. :) I'm excited for them to see the campus, they really never have. my mom has only been here once and that was to move me in...so she missed out on seeing campus- but we did eat some gooooood bob evan's. my dad has been here twice, but moving me in and out...so nothing fun for him either. I just want to get home. I wanna see my puppies, I wanna sleep on the floor cuddled up in blankets and my dogs. I REALLY want to go to Colon and just exist without technology. Just to sit on that lake and relax would be amazing- i dont even want people to come with me. I just want to be there alone. I'm sure my parents would freak though, even though its crap---so ill have to convince Patrick to go with me or something. It works out, cuz that way my parents pay for groceries and gas- so he usually has no complaints...that, and he'll have someone to hit the pathetic little bar with... i have to admit something about it is charming- oooh Curly's.
My back is F-ing KILLING ME! (i have to stop saying Fuck- I'm moving back home. I dont want my mom to freak out on me all the time for it- although she didnt today). Bleh, bullshit. I'm soooo sick of being sick. Bryan better come visit me before my body forms a revolt all together- and i just disintigrate...i'm not gonna melt...actually, i think i'll blow p like a pretty firecracker filled with glitter. The End.
I'm such a nerd, I was just lamenting about how pointless it is to write Bryan e-mails because I am pretty convinced he won't ever write back. Well, Turns out I'm a big jackass- because he wrote me back today at like 1130- which must have been minutes after i last checked my email. Yea, Hi, I'm an ass. He didn't have too too much to say, I think he;s anxious to hear about wat I've been up to. He's in London for a month, I guess. Whatev that's all about. HE wrote back too about how weird it is that we've been apart for 4 years..he has the same feelings i do where sometimes it feels forever ago- and sometimes it seems so recent. The memories are still soo soo vivid.
Those fucking ugly Blue Suede shoes- who did he think he was Elvis?!
The song that follows has nothing to do with Bryan, because in fact- even though he does try to keep me and I'm definately "thrown". It's really more about a LOT of other people. I think they probably know who they are upon reading this; if you don't...then I'll list names next time.
Stay...
You say I only hear what I want to.
You say I talk so all the time so.
And I thought what I felt was simple,
and I thought that I don't belong,
and now that I am leaving,
now I know that I did something wrong 'cause I missed you.
Yeah yeah, I missed you.
And you say I only hear what I want to:
I don't listen hard,
don't pay attention to the distance that you're running
to anyone, anywhere,
I don't understand if you really care,
I'm only hearing negative: no, no, no.
So I turned the radio on, I turned the radio up,
and this woman was singing my song:
lover's in love, and the other's run away,
lover is crying 'cause the other won't stay.
Some of us hover when we weep for the other who was
dying since the day they were born.
Well, well, this is not that;
I think that I'm throwing, but I'm thrown.
And I thought I'd live forever, but now I'm not so sure.
You try to tell me that I'm clever,
but that won't take me anyhow, or anywhere with you.
You said that I was naive,
and I thought that I was strong.
I thought, "hey, I can leave, I can leave."
Oh, but now I know that I was wrong, 'cause I missed you.
Yeah, I miss you.
You said, "I caught you 'cause I want you and one day I'll let you go."
You try to give away a keeper, or keep me 'cause you know you're just
scared to lose.
And you say, "Stay."
And you say I only hear what I want to.
And no, I'm not fixed yet. I'm still processing a LOT of things that are going on and have gone on. I prolly need a few more days on my own to be honest. This week is all about prepping for finals anyway- so don't expect me to be a social butterfly. I won't have 2 hour late night conversations. I have to see a DR for more tests again on monday- because i have no fucking idea why im dehydrating so damn fast....that and I want a new sleep med- there's one that's new on the market that's okay for long term use and doesnt necessarily get addictive. I don't know when I'll have time for it- because I plan to LIVE in the lab, since I have over 20 hours to get finished. Not sure if ill get to eat any meals this week- but with how sick i got yesterday and today...I'm not really sure I want to anymore. I bought some stuff at Walmart to tide me over- yay for cereal, fruit, and veggies.
I can't wait for my parents to get here. I'm such a dork. I let it all out to my mom today- took over an hour. She was really understanding this time around, thank God- because I think everyone else seems to be missing the main point- and she got it! Yay Mom!!!! May 1st is my parent's 29th Wedding anniversary. I can still remember when I was little, like maybe 5, and my mom put on her wedding dress and ran around the house - i dont know why i remember it, but it was hilarious. :) I'm so all about that I Heart Mom shirt i bought last week at Old Navy. :) I'm excited for them to see the campus, they really never have. my mom has only been here once and that was to move me in...so she missed out on seeing campus- but we did eat some gooooood bob evan's. my dad has been here twice, but moving me in and out...so nothing fun for him either. I just want to get home. I wanna see my puppies, I wanna sleep on the floor cuddled up in blankets and my dogs. I REALLY want to go to Colon and just exist without technology. Just to sit on that lake and relax would be amazing- i dont even want people to come with me. I just want to be there alone. I'm sure my parents would freak though, even though its crap---so ill have to convince Patrick to go with me or something. It works out, cuz that way my parents pay for groceries and gas- so he usually has no complaints...that, and he'll have someone to hit the pathetic little bar with... i have to admit something about it is charming- oooh Curly's.
My back is F-ing KILLING ME! (i have to stop saying Fuck- I'm moving back home. I dont want my mom to freak out on me all the time for it- although she didnt today). Bleh, bullshit. I'm soooo sick of being sick. Bryan better come visit me before my body forms a revolt all together- and i just disintigrate...i'm not gonna melt...actually, i think i'll blow p like a pretty firecracker filled with glitter. The End.