(no subject)
So I spent the last hour crying to my mom about EVERYTHING. She's all sorts of freaked out now. I'm just so frustrated - EVERYTHING is getting to me. My Grades are good, and I'm suprised and ecstatic about that, but...
I STILL FEEL LIKE SHIT.
I'm not sleeping well, and i'm at the point where I'm so tired it's hard not to cry about absolutely everything. I want to go home. I wish I had a weekend where I could. I'm so sick of feeling sick. I don't know what to do to makemyself any better. Migrains are KILLING me. Not to mention my fucking back and being nausiated ALL THE TIME. Then my boobs growing?! not to mention, they hurt like mother-fuckers, and my nice new scars are HORRENDOUSLY SENSITIVE!
Thank God I have awesome friends and an awesome boyfriend. I'd loose it without you people, I Really would. You are my sanity, special thanks to Ryan, Risa, Jen, Mahaley, Amanda, Danny Pro, Jennifer and Frank.
I'm REALLY frustrated right now that I cant find my rings- I havent worn them since before spring break, and now i have no idea where they are. I even cleaned my room to try to find them---nothing. This is no good.
Another thing to cry about.
I dont think I should have changed my hair. Too much change for one week, I'm too sensitive for this shit. I'm all upset about it. Not to mention that most people havent even noticed a difference--which we know isnt true, cuz its A LOT different...so really, they're choosing not to say anything about it which either means they hate it or they're assholes.....which really could go either way.
I just want to feel better :( Why Can't I???? What the fuck did I do to get this shit?! havent i been through enough in the past year?!?!!? Seriously! This is total BULLSHIT.
I am so beyond frustrated.
I am so sick of people telling me "to sleep" or "to feel better"--if this was under my control- I'd be sleeping a TON and feeling AWESOME. The good part is that there's a light at the end of the tunnel. I go home in 21 days for 2 weeks. Hopefully, I'll get back to normal. I always fele better at home. I can sleep at home. I have dogs to sympathize with- and they dont tell me anything...they just lay with me, hog my bed, sleep, and occasionally beg me for food. Simple creatures- easy to please. Makes me happy.
I cant please anybody else anymore. This whole putting on a happy face thing is getting harder and harder- it gets to a point where you just cant stand anything anymore and you've been faking it for so long that when you finally think about it you realize your real reaction is much more evil than it needs to be.
I need to go home. Just to be there.
Cuz here...is bullshit.
I STILL FEEL LIKE SHIT.
I'm not sleeping well, and i'm at the point where I'm so tired it's hard not to cry about absolutely everything. I want to go home. I wish I had a weekend where I could. I'm so sick of feeling sick. I don't know what to do to makemyself any better. Migrains are KILLING me. Not to mention my fucking back and being nausiated ALL THE TIME. Then my boobs growing?! not to mention, they hurt like mother-fuckers, and my nice new scars are HORRENDOUSLY SENSITIVE!
Thank God I have awesome friends and an awesome boyfriend. I'd loose it without you people, I Really would. You are my sanity, special thanks to Ryan, Risa, Jen, Mahaley, Amanda, Danny Pro, Jennifer and Frank.
I'm REALLY frustrated right now that I cant find my rings- I havent worn them since before spring break, and now i have no idea where they are. I even cleaned my room to try to find them---nothing. This is no good.
Another thing to cry about.
I dont think I should have changed my hair. Too much change for one week, I'm too sensitive for this shit. I'm all upset about it. Not to mention that most people havent even noticed a difference--which we know isnt true, cuz its A LOT different...so really, they're choosing not to say anything about it which either means they hate it or they're assholes.....which really could go either way.
I just want to feel better :( Why Can't I???? What the fuck did I do to get this shit?! havent i been through enough in the past year?!?!!? Seriously! This is total BULLSHIT.
I am so beyond frustrated.
I am so sick of people telling me "to sleep" or "to feel better"--if this was under my control- I'd be sleeping a TON and feeling AWESOME. The good part is that there's a light at the end of the tunnel. I go home in 21 days for 2 weeks. Hopefully, I'll get back to normal. I always fele better at home. I can sleep at home. I have dogs to sympathize with- and they dont tell me anything...they just lay with me, hog my bed, sleep, and occasionally beg me for food. Simple creatures- easy to please. Makes me happy.
I cant please anybody else anymore. This whole putting on a happy face thing is getting harder and harder- it gets to a point where you just cant stand anything anymore and you've been faking it for so long that when you finally think about it you realize your real reaction is much more evil than it needs to be.
I need to go home. Just to be there.
Cuz here...is bullshit.