You think you're so smart, don't you?
Hey, you, dickhead.
Yes, you with the ugly lime green tie.
When you say you're in a rush, it generally means that you want to take your drink away and, I don't know, maybe BRING YOUR FUCKING DRINK with you to your meeting place? So don't roll your eyes at us and tell us you're having it here. You're in a cafe. What the fuck are you rushing for? And you even sat there for like 2 hours.
And then, some people might want to have their food to go if it's not heated up. How the fuck would I know, so obviously I'd ASK you out of POLITENESS and being a GOOD BARISTA and all. You don't be all sarcastic with me and go, "OF COURSE IT'S FOR HERE AS WELL." I AM JUST FUCKING ASKING. IT DOESN'T FUCKING MEAN I AM STUPID.
Also, I think two mugs and a bloody plate is not horribly difficult to carry. I mean, you don't even have to be a rocket scientist or some plate spinner to figure out that you can carry both mugs with one hand and a plate with the other. So don't interrupt me and tell me that you need a fucking tray because it's "IMPOSSIBLE TO CARRY THREE ITEMS WITH TWO HANDS". Aren't you some high-classed dude? Haven't you EVER seen waiters carry more than THREE PLATES? It's not fucking difficult. And it's not like I'm depriving you of your right to have a tray so you can carry your food and beverages. I asked. Nicely. With a smile. And what do I get? A fucking smart-ass retort.
Lastly, I know your mother probably still breastfeeds you until now because you can't even open a bloody pen by yourself. You just grab it, try to sign, and fucking THROW THE PEN BACK AT ME SAYING IT WON'T WORK. And did you even realize why? BECAUSE YOU COULD NOT TAKE HALF A SECOND TO JUST TWIST THE PEN AND SIGN THE RECEIPT FOR YOUR OH-SO-MIGHTY-AND-AWESOME CREDIT CARD PURCHASE. Big deal, bub. It's just a credit card. It's not like only YOUR kind have it.
I bet you think us baristas are poor and stupid and lack common sense. Well, we're laughing at you behind your back. At your stupidity. You are the reason why the rest of the world hates your kind. Because you think you are superior to us in every way. Well, guess what? SCREEEEEEEEEW YOU.
Yes, you with the ugly lime green tie.
When you say you're in a rush, it generally means that you want to take your drink away and, I don't know, maybe BRING YOUR FUCKING DRINK with you to your meeting place? So don't roll your eyes at us and tell us you're having it here. You're in a cafe. What the fuck are you rushing for? And you even sat there for like 2 hours.
And then, some people might want to have their food to go if it's not heated up. How the fuck would I know, so obviously I'd ASK you out of POLITENESS and being a GOOD BARISTA and all. You don't be all sarcastic with me and go, "OF COURSE IT'S FOR HERE AS WELL." I AM JUST FUCKING ASKING. IT DOESN'T FUCKING MEAN I AM STUPID.
Also, I think two mugs and a bloody plate is not horribly difficult to carry. I mean, you don't even have to be a rocket scientist or some plate spinner to figure out that you can carry both mugs with one hand and a plate with the other. So don't interrupt me and tell me that you need a fucking tray because it's "IMPOSSIBLE TO CARRY THREE ITEMS WITH TWO HANDS". Aren't you some high-classed dude? Haven't you EVER seen waiters carry more than THREE PLATES? It's not fucking difficult. And it's not like I'm depriving you of your right to have a tray so you can carry your food and beverages. I asked. Nicely. With a smile. And what do I get? A fucking smart-ass retort.
Lastly, I know your mother probably still breastfeeds you until now because you can't even open a bloody pen by yourself. You just grab it, try to sign, and fucking THROW THE PEN BACK AT ME SAYING IT WON'T WORK. And did you even realize why? BECAUSE YOU COULD NOT TAKE HALF A SECOND TO JUST TWIST THE PEN AND SIGN THE RECEIPT FOR YOUR OH-SO-MIGHTY-AND-AWESOME CREDIT CARD PURCHASE. Big deal, bub. It's just a credit card. It's not like only YOUR kind have it.
I bet you think us baristas are poor and stupid and lack common sense. Well, we're laughing at you behind your back. At your stupidity. You are the reason why the rest of the world hates your kind. Because you think you are superior to us in every way. Well, guess what? SCREEEEEEEEEW YOU.