A Trip to the Past
[mood| 
melancholy]
[music| Gackt - 月の詩 ]
I guess this is it.
This is the reason why I've been so weird lately. I remembered a post a couple months back on my Sec 3/4 self, and true enough, history was repeating itself.
My results weren't exactly very good then, and in fact, I was on the brink of failing my O Levels. At that time I was so badly affected by my results, and coupled with a bad relationship with my father, I seemed to lose all hope. I started cutting myself after my mid-year exams, the angry, red scars covering the lengths of my arms.
I had always thought, by cutting myself, I was punishing myself, for all the stupid things I did.
Things took a turn for the worse when I scored 31 and 42 for my prelims respectively. The future was not looking bright.
Crying alone in the corner of an empty room, I contemplated how quickly everything would end if I jumped out the window. The grille was open, the sky beckoning me to try and fly away from everything.
I remember being split in half.
"Jump, jump, jump. Why don't you jump? It's so much easier that way."
"Why don't you just study and try your best for your O Levels?"
"With those results? Are you kidding? You'd just be wasting Mummy's money. Do her a favor and jump."
Things haven't changed. The feelings are still as strong as ever, except everything's in a different context.
I just.. need some time alone to think I guess.
melancholy]
[music| Gackt - 月の詩 ]
I guess this is it.
This is the reason why I've been so weird lately. I remembered a post a couple months back on my Sec 3/4 self, and true enough, history was repeating itself.
My results weren't exactly very good then, and in fact, I was on the brink of failing my O Levels. At that time I was so badly affected by my results, and coupled with a bad relationship with my father, I seemed to lose all hope. I started cutting myself after my mid-year exams, the angry, red scars covering the lengths of my arms.
I had always thought, by cutting myself, I was punishing myself, for all the stupid things I did.
Things took a turn for the worse when I scored 31 and 42 for my prelims respectively. The future was not looking bright.
Crying alone in the corner of an empty room, I contemplated how quickly everything would end if I jumped out the window. The grille was open, the sky beckoning me to try and fly away from everything.
I remember being split in half.
"Jump, jump, jump. Why don't you jump? It's so much easier that way."
"Why don't you just study and try your best for your O Levels?"
"With those results? Are you kidding? You'd just be wasting Mummy's money. Do her a favor and jump."
Things haven't changed. The feelings are still as strong as ever, except everything's in a different context.
I just.. need some time alone to think I guess.