people are so honest that it hurts!

[simply_rissa]

okaa. that entry before. the poll about being pretty.one comment hit me hard. i felt like that was the only honest one, maybe you guys think i`m pretty but this person, i think i kno who it was, made me feel so horrible that tha face i saw in the mirror had changed. i had self esteem for a few hours and then hearing that i kinda definatly let it get to me. the things that she mentioned were what i was trying to forget bout, they friggen basically told me i was fat, and i was just telling myself that last night! now i know thats what everyone else thinks too. they were like alot of other people think this stuff to, you just dont hear it cuz its like behind my back!!! i can tell this person is actaully a friend of mine, because they told me they have said it before. so i think i know who and im gunna call them tonight and ask them if it was them, if it was you. thank you for being honest. if you are a friend of mine, call me i`d like to talk to you, and if you still dont wanna tell me it was you dont comment on here again because honestly i want my friends to tell me tha truth and not let me think im summin im not, i hate lying.i`d rather hear that i have pretty potenshall(spelling haha) then o yeah you are pretty, when behind my back you are like i wanna attack her and shes so gross. tho i lie to myself and have lied before. right here right now im stopping. people want the truth they are gunna get it anyway.i have deleted the comment and made the entry friends only.i think the whole journal might be friends only, i really love to get out my thoguhts and i have a horrible say with speaking how i feel and i think i write it better, with these type of issues that are close to my heart it`s gunna be a friends only entry. how can i be confident when people point out all the wrong things!! people needa fucking realize that this is semi public and if they had summin like that comment to say , they shouldnt have posted it like that. i mean i know writing a journal like this is making my life public but i shouldnt read it if you dont care about me.

x3,
rissyy

holly shit so much stuff is happening with my family, i`ll read it l8r and if you arent on my friends list and wanna be or dont have a lj and want me to keep in public..comment