It's A Bird! It's A Plane! It's... Stupor Man!
I haven't written for a while, thus, I have much to write about. Luckily, I have written down things that have happened to me, (albeit messily, as I wrote them while drunk).
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Thursday: Kittie Plays at Call the Office
About a week and a half before this, Luke asked me if I wanted to see Kittie. I responded: "OMG w00t!11 Yes." (For those of you unsure what or who Kittie is, see: http://www.kittie.net/ )
Well, last Thursday was the day, and after finishing class, I started to get ready. Part of the way through getting ready, I hear my name called from upstairs. Not realizing I wasn't wearing any pants, I walked over to the stairs and looked up. It was Luke. He told me that he was going to get ready to go and get his friend. I said: "Cool, I'll go get my pants."
Luke phoned me little while after that, and told me to go to the bus stop, and he'd meet me there. So I went to the bus stop. I waited for a while, and then saw him walking down the street, but he wasn't with his friend. He told me he was going to get him.
So I waited some more, and the bus came. The bus passed. Still no Luke.
Apparently Luke had yelled for me to get on the bus, but since he was a block away, I didn't hear him. Oh. Also, his friend is a huge biker-looking guy with red hair, (someone told me earlier that his friend had "firecrotch"... I didn't understand until then).
We eventually got to Call the Office, where the band was going to play. One of the opening bands, Unever, was already playing. They sounded emo, but they didn't have any blue flowers, star tattoos or box-frame non-perscription glasses, so the sound was probably just the singer's shitty voice. Also, there were many, MANY emo kids just standing there. Okay, I realize that it's "in" to be depressed, or something, but when a half decent band plays, do something, maybe?
Anyway, they finally stopped playing, and Luke, his friend and myself went outside for me to smoke and them to play hackey-sack. It was dark, so they lost it. I was finished smoking anyway, and the other band had started to play, so we went back in.
This one was Nothing Left For Tomorrow, a much better band with a chick for lead singer. She was kind of chubby, but I still looked at her boobies because she kept bending over to sing. Or show her boobies. Something. Anyway, she had a voice on her that sounded like someone just threw a can of gasoline into a furnace. It was kind of scary.
Now, we were standing right near the stage, but some douchebag thinks he's more important than I am, (wrongo), so he cuts right in front of us. Then starts to headbang and keeps punching the air. Really close to my face. I stood in the same spot, so when he elbowed me in the face, I could punch him in the kidney or something.
So he did, and I pretended to "fall into him", which meant elbowing him in the back. Wanker.
He left a little while after that, so when that band finished, I grabbed a pick that the guitarist had dropped.
We stayed in the same spot, although I moved forward to prevent the douchebag from coming back. The crowd quickly thickened when Kittie came on stage. I put my right foot on the stage as a brace, just incase the crowd got too unruly.
Kittie is awesome. Again, the singer kept bending over while she sang, (the band is all-female... awesome), and she has much nicer boobies, let me tell you. The crowd kept pushing into me, so I kept pushing them back. After all, they're all off-balance because they're all right beside each other; I had the stage to push off of.
So, for the entire hour and a half that they were on, I was leaning back into the crowd. Every once in a while I would shove my back into it for good measure. I got a punch in the right kidney somewhere along the line, so someone got a headbutt.
Boobies are awesome, by the way.
Kittie stopped playing eventually, and since I was still by the stage, I got water poured on me from the bassist, who is asian. My first thought: "Me lik-ee watah vewy much! Ah-so ah-so!" I was deaf from the music, so it was probably safe to assume she wouldn't hear me anyway, so I kept it to myself.
Earlier I had spotted that the singer had dropped her pick, so I asked the bouncer to get it for me. Luke and Firecrotch were kind of upset, but whatever.
We pretty much went right home after that, but the douchebag headbanger guy was on the bus. He started talking to Firecrotch, but didn't look at me.
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Friday: Random Raquel
Friday I had planned not to do anything, as I was still very, very sore from the night before. However, at about 10:00 pm, I started talking to Raquel ( http://www.livejournal.com/users/thelastdays/ ) on MSN. We decided to try to go to a party that was, coincidentally, right near my house.
She met me at my house, eventually, after she had gone to Tantra, a bar downtown. So we walked to the party, only to find that it was pretty much over. None of her friends of whom said they would be there were there, so we left. She went home. Hooray. Paul drinks alone again.
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Saturday: Shopping and Shots
Saturday I woke up as my phone had rang at around 10:30. It was Meghan, an engineer I met last year who I had originally planned to share a house with. She wanted to go out for coffee. I showered, put some clothes on, (I remembered my pants this time), and left. At the point, I R le tired. I got to the UCC (community centre) before Meghan, so I pretty much slept until she got there.
We got coffee, and almost right away her first-year friend from back home came to get some notes that Meghan had. She talked about getting drunk for about half an hour, and left. I can't remember her name, but I remember that she is 18.
When we were finished our coffee, I told Meghan that I was going shopping. She offered to drive me to the mall. I said: "Sure." After we got there, I thanked her and went into the mall.
Things I bought:
-lightning guitar-strap
-new strings
-pirate costume (!!!)
-bacon
-duct tape
-other miscellaneous food
I eventually got home, and proceeded to pimp out my bass with the strap and the strings. I bought strings for a 5-string bass, and as mine is only a 4-string, I threw out one of the smaller strings, (the E-string, for those of you who care), and put the large string on.
My bass is thoroughly awesome'd:
I wore the pirate costume for most of the day, and eventually called one of my friends to see what was going on. At that moment they were on a bus going to the bar. I told them that I would be right there. Luckily, I am always dressed to kill, so I didn't need to get ready. I got my shoes and left.
The bus was at the corner right as I got there, so I ambled on. It was packed. At one point, since I was right beside the door, when it opened it crushed my foot.
About 5 stops down, as I was nearing the bar, I noticed EVERYONE I was supposed to meet at the bar on the sidewalk. That's right, they were on the same bus I was on the entire time. I asked the bus driver to open the door, and then jumped out screaming something like: "MAADAALAAARGHHH!!" A couple of the girls screamed, and I got a hug from Tiff. I like Tiff.
We couldn't get into the bar we had planned to, as it was homecoming and filled with old creepy men. Tiff got about as frustrated as I did, which was odd because I hadn't drank anything at this point. Regardless, she organized a few people to leave. A bunch of people stayed in line, but whatever, I got to go drink.
We went to GT's, a bar at the end of what I like to call: "The Road of Inebriation". Not as many people were there, as it is at the end of the road.
Upon getting inside, I promptly ordered three vodka shots and a beer.
Sharing? Fuck no, it's all for me, bitches. I got a strange look from a girl that was at the bar next to me, but whatever, I got to drink.
When I was about done my first beer, someone toasted "to drinking!", and then I toasted "to three more shots!" and went and got three tequila shots.
This is when Tiff wanted everyone to go dance. Awesome, because I was almost drunk enough to do so. All I had to do was wait for the vodka to slap me in the back, and I would be in business. I remember Tabitha, (one of the girls from my residence last year), flirting with me a lot. Or, at me a lot, as I don't try to pick up at bars. I played along, but got bored and needed to drink more.
I remember following people in a train-like-fashion to what everyone thought would be the bar, but we just followed Jeff to the pisser.
Awesome.
I went out on the deck area to smoke, and to get more shots.
I stayed out there for a while, but when I went back inside, it was hotter than what I had remembered. I had a couple more beer before I left.
I remember the cab driver saying it would be nine dollars to take me home, and he wanted it in advance. (It's usually five to get me home from there). I told him that I only had seven, and I wasn't giving it to him in advance, (after I was in the car, of course). He looked frustrated, but I'm not THAT stupid when I'm drunk.
(insert obligatory st_justin joke here)
...
(insert "insert" joke here)
...
(and so on)
Travis, (one of my housemates who doesn't suck), told me this morning that I was running into absolutely everything when I got home. I remember trying to play my bass, but realizing that I was way too hammered to do so. Somewhere along the line I went to bed, naked, of course.
----------------------------------------
Things Accomplished:
-Looked at rockstar boobies
-Got water poured on me by an asian chick
-Elbowed a douchebag in the back
-Retreived two picks
-Drank by myself after going to a shitty party
-Pimped out my bass
-Jumped out of a bus
-Got bored of flirting, only to drink
-Annoyed Travis by being so drunk
-Realized I was too drunk to play my bass
-Woke up drunk
---This post approved and awesomified by Simply_Paul ---
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Thursday: Kittie Plays at Call the Office
About a week and a half before this, Luke asked me if I wanted to see Kittie. I responded: "OMG w00t!11 Yes." (For those of you unsure what or who Kittie is, see: http://www.kittie.net/ )
Well, last Thursday was the day, and after finishing class, I started to get ready. Part of the way through getting ready, I hear my name called from upstairs. Not realizing I wasn't wearing any pants, I walked over to the stairs and looked up. It was Luke. He told me that he was going to get ready to go and get his friend. I said: "Cool, I'll go get my pants."
Luke phoned me little while after that, and told me to go to the bus stop, and he'd meet me there. So I went to the bus stop. I waited for a while, and then saw him walking down the street, but he wasn't with his friend. He told me he was going to get him.
So I waited some more, and the bus came. The bus passed. Still no Luke.
Apparently Luke had yelled for me to get on the bus, but since he was a block away, I didn't hear him. Oh. Also, his friend is a huge biker-looking guy with red hair, (someone told me earlier that his friend had "firecrotch"... I didn't understand until then).
We eventually got to Call the Office, where the band was going to play. One of the opening bands, Unever, was already playing. They sounded emo, but they didn't have any blue flowers, star tattoos or box-frame non-perscription glasses, so the sound was probably just the singer's shitty voice. Also, there were many, MANY emo kids just standing there. Okay, I realize that it's "in" to be depressed, or something, but when a half decent band plays, do something, maybe?
Anyway, they finally stopped playing, and Luke, his friend and myself went outside for me to smoke and them to play hackey-sack. It was dark, so they lost it. I was finished smoking anyway, and the other band had started to play, so we went back in.
This one was Nothing Left For Tomorrow, a much better band with a chick for lead singer. She was kind of chubby, but I still looked at her boobies because she kept bending over to sing. Or show her boobies. Something. Anyway, she had a voice on her that sounded like someone just threw a can of gasoline into a furnace. It was kind of scary.
Now, we were standing right near the stage, but some douchebag thinks he's more important than I am, (wrongo), so he cuts right in front of us. Then starts to headbang and keeps punching the air. Really close to my face. I stood in the same spot, so when he elbowed me in the face, I could punch him in the kidney or something.
So he did, and I pretended to "fall into him", which meant elbowing him in the back. Wanker.
He left a little while after that, so when that band finished, I grabbed a pick that the guitarist had dropped.
We stayed in the same spot, although I moved forward to prevent the douchebag from coming back. The crowd quickly thickened when Kittie came on stage. I put my right foot on the stage as a brace, just incase the crowd got too unruly.
Kittie is awesome. Again, the singer kept bending over while she sang, (the band is all-female... awesome), and she has much nicer boobies, let me tell you. The crowd kept pushing into me, so I kept pushing them back. After all, they're all off-balance because they're all right beside each other; I had the stage to push off of.
So, for the entire hour and a half that they were on, I was leaning back into the crowd. Every once in a while I would shove my back into it for good measure. I got a punch in the right kidney somewhere along the line, so someone got a headbutt.
Boobies are awesome, by the way.
Kittie stopped playing eventually, and since I was still by the stage, I got water poured on me from the bassist, who is asian. My first thought: "Me lik-ee watah vewy much! Ah-so ah-so!" I was deaf from the music, so it was probably safe to assume she wouldn't hear me anyway, so I kept it to myself.
Earlier I had spotted that the singer had dropped her pick, so I asked the bouncer to get it for me. Luke and Firecrotch were kind of upset, but whatever.
We pretty much went right home after that, but the douchebag headbanger guy was on the bus. He started talking to Firecrotch, but didn't look at me.
----------------------------------------
Friday: Random Raquel
Friday I had planned not to do anything, as I was still very, very sore from the night before. However, at about 10:00 pm, I started talking to Raquel ( http://www.livejournal.com/users/thelastdays/ ) on MSN. We decided to try to go to a party that was, coincidentally, right near my house.
She met me at my house, eventually, after she had gone to Tantra, a bar downtown. So we walked to the party, only to find that it was pretty much over. None of her friends of whom said they would be there were there, so we left. She went home. Hooray. Paul drinks alone again.
----------------------------------------
Saturday: Shopping and Shots
Saturday I woke up as my phone had rang at around 10:30. It was Meghan, an engineer I met last year who I had originally planned to share a house with. She wanted to go out for coffee. I showered, put some clothes on, (I remembered my pants this time), and left. At the point, I R le tired. I got to the UCC (community centre) before Meghan, so I pretty much slept until she got there.
We got coffee, and almost right away her first-year friend from back home came to get some notes that Meghan had. She talked about getting drunk for about half an hour, and left. I can't remember her name, but I remember that she is 18.
When we were finished our coffee, I told Meghan that I was going shopping. She offered to drive me to the mall. I said: "Sure." After we got there, I thanked her and went into the mall.
Things I bought:
-lightning guitar-strap
-new strings
-pirate costume (!!!)
-bacon
-duct tape
-other miscellaneous food
I eventually got home, and proceeded to pimp out my bass with the strap and the strings. I bought strings for a 5-string bass, and as mine is only a 4-string, I threw out one of the smaller strings, (the E-string, for those of you who care), and put the large string on.
My bass is thoroughly awesome'd:
I wore the pirate costume for most of the day, and eventually called one of my friends to see what was going on. At that moment they were on a bus going to the bar. I told them that I would be right there. Luckily, I am always dressed to kill, so I didn't need to get ready. I got my shoes and left.
The bus was at the corner right as I got there, so I ambled on. It was packed. At one point, since I was right beside the door, when it opened it crushed my foot.
About 5 stops down, as I was nearing the bar, I noticed EVERYONE I was supposed to meet at the bar on the sidewalk. That's right, they were on the same bus I was on the entire time. I asked the bus driver to open the door, and then jumped out screaming something like: "MAADAALAAARGHHH!!" A couple of the girls screamed, and I got a hug from Tiff. I like Tiff.
We couldn't get into the bar we had planned to, as it was homecoming and filled with old creepy men. Tiff got about as frustrated as I did, which was odd because I hadn't drank anything at this point. Regardless, she organized a few people to leave. A bunch of people stayed in line, but whatever, I got to go drink.
We went to GT's, a bar at the end of what I like to call: "The Road of Inebriation". Not as many people were there, as it is at the end of the road.
Upon getting inside, I promptly ordered three vodka shots and a beer.
Sharing? Fuck no, it's all for me, bitches. I got a strange look from a girl that was at the bar next to me, but whatever, I got to drink.
When I was about done my first beer, someone toasted "to drinking!", and then I toasted "to three more shots!" and went and got three tequila shots.
This is when Tiff wanted everyone to go dance. Awesome, because I was almost drunk enough to do so. All I had to do was wait for the vodka to slap me in the back, and I would be in business. I remember Tabitha, (one of the girls from my residence last year), flirting with me a lot. Or, at me a lot, as I don't try to pick up at bars. I played along, but got bored and needed to drink more.
I remember following people in a train-like-fashion to what everyone thought would be the bar, but we just followed Jeff to the pisser.
Awesome.
I went out on the deck area to smoke, and to get more shots.
I stayed out there for a while, but when I went back inside, it was hotter than what I had remembered. I had a couple more beer before I left.
I remember the cab driver saying it would be nine dollars to take me home, and he wanted it in advance. (It's usually five to get me home from there). I told him that I only had seven, and I wasn't giving it to him in advance, (after I was in the car, of course). He looked frustrated, but I'm not THAT stupid when I'm drunk.
(insert obligatory st_justin joke here)
...
(insert "insert" joke here)
...
(and so on)
Travis, (one of my housemates who doesn't suck), told me this morning that I was running into absolutely everything when I got home. I remember trying to play my bass, but realizing that I was way too hammered to do so. Somewhere along the line I went to bed, naked, of course.
----------------------------------------
Things Accomplished:
-Looked at rockstar boobies
-Got water poured on me by an asian chick
-Elbowed a douchebag in the back
-Retreived two picks
-Drank by myself after going to a shitty party
-Pimped out my bass
-Jumped out of a bus
-Got bored of flirting, only to drink
-Annoyed Travis by being so drunk
-Realized I was too drunk to play my bass
-Woke up drunk
---This post approved and awesomified by Simply_Paul ---