baby did a bad bad thing
finding a random stranger (make that beautiful random stranger) to take home seemed like a perfectly good idea at the time. then again, many ideas appear brilliant when you've had a few vodka tonics. yikes. i know it's one of those get-"him"-off-your-mind one night stands. i'm such a loser. now this possibly psychotic guy knows where my duplex is. i do this to myself. i really do.
oh, but it was so nice to have someone else touch me. anyone but kevin. i hate myself for being the type who has to validate herself sexually in order to remind myself that i am fucking beautiful. at least i know what it is though... at least i don't delude myself. that's something, right? please say right.
i go back and forth between wanting to curl up in a ball on the floor and just cry over who i am and the opposite being wanting to go drive for miles and miles listening to a good mix tape and just saying fuck the world, i did what i wanted and guys do it all the time. why should i be upset due to a double standard? as much as i love being a woman, sometimes i think my soul was suppose to be in the body of a man.
oh, but it was so nice to have someone else touch me. anyone but kevin. i hate myself for being the type who has to validate herself sexually in order to remind myself that i am fucking beautiful. at least i know what it is though... at least i don't delude myself. that's something, right? please say right.
i go back and forth between wanting to curl up in a ball on the floor and just cry over who i am and the opposite being wanting to go drive for miles and miles listening to a good mix tape and just saying fuck the world, i did what i wanted and guys do it all the time. why should i be upset due to a double standard? as much as i love being a woman, sometimes i think my soul was suppose to be in the body of a man.