Empty House, Empty Heart
It's strange, being alone in this house, just me and the dogs. Darren and Daniel are of course gone, and Lee and Karl should be in Australia by now, or soon. I'm sitting alone on the couch with just Hey Dog and Scooter, the dog Ben gave me.
Ben.
I have a confession to make--I don't know where he is. I'm sorry Karl that I lied to you about where we were spending Christmas, but it hurt too much to not be able to say I didn't know where Ben had gone. We had a great trip to get the dog then when we got back everything seemed fine, but by the next morning he was gone, just left a note that he'd be back when he could and that he was sorry and don't be mad. Well, I got pissed and took off Tuesday morning. Karl I'm really sorry, I know that put you in a tight spot with everything, but seeing Darren and Daniel so damn happy and their lives so freaking perfect--at least how they feel about each other--well, I couldn't take it, couldn't take seeing you and Lee and well I just couldn't. So I hopped in my car and just drove and drove and not knowing where I was going or anything, just fifty dollars in my wallet. *sigh* Ended up in Seattle, in a motel by myself on Christmas eve, alone and feeling like shit.
Now I'm back here and no one is here but the dogs, and I hate it. I'm not sure what I'm going to do, if he'll be back or not. I feel like getting dressed and taking off, maybe go hit some bars, get drunk, get laid by some stranger who won't touch me like Ben, won't know me like Ben, and just forget I am alone and life sucks. *sad smile*
In fact that is exactly what I'm going to do. I don't know what else to do. I just don't know.
Bye
Ben.
I have a confession to make--I don't know where he is. I'm sorry Karl that I lied to you about where we were spending Christmas, but it hurt too much to not be able to say I didn't know where Ben had gone. We had a great trip to get the dog then when we got back everything seemed fine, but by the next morning he was gone, just left a note that he'd be back when he could and that he was sorry and don't be mad. Well, I got pissed and took off Tuesday morning. Karl I'm really sorry, I know that put you in a tight spot with everything, but seeing Darren and Daniel so damn happy and their lives so freaking perfect--at least how they feel about each other--well, I couldn't take it, couldn't take seeing you and Lee and well I just couldn't. So I hopped in my car and just drove and drove and not knowing where I was going or anything, just fifty dollars in my wallet. *sigh* Ended up in Seattle, in a motel by myself on Christmas eve, alone and feeling like shit.
Now I'm back here and no one is here but the dogs, and I hate it. I'm not sure what I'm going to do, if he'll be back or not. I feel like getting dressed and taking off, maybe go hit some bars, get drunk, get laid by some stranger who won't touch me like Ben, won't know me like Ben, and just forget I am alone and life sucks. *sad smile*
In fact that is exactly what I'm going to do. I don't know what else to do. I just don't know.
Bye