I'm so sorry. I..I don't know what more to say. I didn't plan this and hurting you is the last thing in the world I wanted to do. But we promised to always be honest with each other and that's what I'm trying to be. I know what you're thinking, that means I must've lied in the past. But I didn't, I truly believed I could feel about you the same way you felt about me.
Hell, I was determined to do that, cuz I knew I could never find anyone more perfect in this world and who would show me more love than you did. But after searching within myself and being honest, I know that there are things I think about and that I'm not finished with in my life.
Maybe I was hoping for a miracle, I don't know. *sighs* I told you I was fucked up, hell, I tell everyone that, but very few believe me. There are things that go on in my mind that I try my best to push back, but sometimes it gets to be too much and I have to deal with it. I tried to be everything you wanted, and yeah, I know you gave me the option of time to heal, but being around you made me feel that maybe, just maybe, this was what I'd been looking for.
Ok, this wasn't suppose to get this long, but I just wanted you to see all my thoughts in one. I know I'm a bad person, people keep telling me to stop putting myself down over this, but in the end, only one thing stands; I ruined what would possibly have been the best thing I'll ever have.
Hell, I was determined to do that, cuz I knew I could never find anyone more perfect in this world and who would show me more love than you did. But after searching within myself and being honest, I know that there are things I think about and that I'm not finished with in my life.
Maybe I was hoping for a miracle, I don't know. *sighs* I told you I was fucked up, hell, I tell everyone that, but very few believe me. There are things that go on in my mind that I try my best to push back, but sometimes it gets to be too much and I have to deal with it. I tried to be everything you wanted, and yeah, I know you gave me the option of time to heal, but being around you made me feel that maybe, just maybe, this was what I'd been looking for.
Ok, this wasn't suppose to get this long, but I just wanted you to see all my thoughts in one. I know I'm a bad person, people keep telling me to stop putting myself down over this, but in the end, only one thing stands; I ruined what would possibly have been the best thing I'll ever have.
Again, I'm sorry.
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