What is wrong with me?

[simply_fresh]

Ok, so answer me this. I am happy being single, I have no problem with it. But for some reason when I start dating someone I get all self-conscious and analyze everything little thing I do. For example, I went on a date with this guy this past weekend, we had been talk for a few weeks but never had a chance to meet up. Went great, he seems to

Comments

some thoughts

[anonymous]

it would be a good idea to start dating other people or even to start socializing with other people your age...if you have friends to talk to and do stuff with besides this one special person then it will minimize what you are going through now. of course, if you had sex, and he didn't call back right away like within 24 hours...ie the next morning...really important...then it explains a lot of what you are going through and it makes it a lot worse in my opinion. not a good thing for a man to blow someone off after she just had sex with him.

also i had a really bad experience one valentine's many many years ago...my bf at the time had really built up the whole valentine's date thing...making it a weekend full of surprises and events for every day of the weekend. but then the next day i didn't hear from him...as the day wore on i grew angry so angry that i was going to destroy a computer printer he had let me borrow. i was that angry and fuming...never happened before or since...it was his fault since he said he would call the next day...and didn't. (PS: we did not have sex...so you can imagine how much worse it would have been if we had had sex...it is not acceptable to not call someone after you've had sex with them...and it is not acceptable to overdo things emotionally and then pull the carpet out from under them by not calling....)

Re: some thoughts

[anonymous]

oh he did call later that night finally...he should have called during the day at work...he "claimed" he said he was going to call me that night...but i think that is just an excuse...he should have called at work---its not like he hadn't called at work before.

but it caused a major rift in the relationship...causing me to not trust him because he didn't call me the next day at work. this relationship cont'd for another year...but it never overcame that rift...i only realize this now in writing it...and this was about 10-15 years ago. i was right not to trust him, as we did not marry...he is a romance addict. and the relationship was superficial. it took him a year to figure out that we were not going to have sex. i think that is the reason he made valentine's day such a big deal. he was hoping to get some...he totally underestimated me.

Re: some thoughts

[anonymous]

and overestimated himself

Re: some thoughts

[simply_fresh]

Ok, not sure who this is....but to answer your question we did not have sex. But I do think you are right, I need to continue to remind myself that I have my own life and not get so wrapped-up and all-consumed in this new thing; I mean it is what it is, yeah? If it is going to happen then it is...I also think I tend to want everything NOW and that makes me want to rush everything, I need to learn to slow things down in my life....

Re: some thoughts

[anonymous]

hi
i was just checking out the tabs up at the top of lj page and your entry is under life on the first page ... your entry caught my attention and i could relate so i responded.

also it is hard to form lasting connections with people if you are a flight attendant unless you are always sent back home every day. then you can form friendships with people in the area where you live. then people from the plane that you meet are just extra and not bread and butter you are depending on...know what i mean?

i moved around a lot as a kid so do not have friends from childhood. but even my friends from college parted ways...due to career or marriage...moving away that kind of thing.

Re: some thoughts

[simply_fresh]

Thanks! I know what you mean. I think that is part of the problem I am having, I don't have a lot of friends around here and I have been here 1 1/2 years already. But I think this is mostly because of what you said, its really hard to make lasting friendships when I am always gone for days and days at a time....