maybe one day...
Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like 'maybe we should just be friends' or 'how very perceptive' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.
-Anonymous
ha. talk about telling the truth. whoever the brokenhearted cynical girl who wrote this is one of the few people on this earth telling the truth about love. i hate it that love is always told in this emotional state, like everytime you fall in love it's some kind of fairy tale love story. bullshit. if anyone out there can give me an actual personal story of a fairy tale love story, please feel free to enlighten me. and i don't mean i know a friend who has a friend who had a friend bullshit either. i don't wanna hear any tall tales. i'm talking about actually true factual stories.i'm willing to bet this task isn't gonna be as easy as it sounds. love is suppose to be this emotional thing that a person feels. thru the years, i've learned to rationalize love. to me, it is not an emotion. it is based on pratical rational reasons. not some emotional tug at the heart, butterflies in your stomach kind of feeling. wanna know why? because i've learned the harsh reality of love. that tug at the heart butterflies in your stomach feeling bullshit? well, it fades. sometimes ever so slowly, sometimes it is just ripped from right under you leaving you thinking what the fuck just happened. it's crazy how a person can work so hard to build this wall to make sure that those kinds of feelings never happen again, only for that wall to collapse in a split second. it's funny how right when you think to yourself maybe, just maybe that this person is the kind of person you could picture yourself falling in love with, and have that notion taken away from you even before it actually happens. crazy shit that thing they call love.
so, maybe i'm a little bit cynical. bitter even. but for legitimate rasons. reasons that maybe only i can understand. but all i know is, lesson learned. this heart of mine is not ready to take that kind of fall yet. i thought i had the pieces back together pretty well, maybe i don't. or, i just don't know if anyone will be there to catch my fall. you know what they say, you can't fall in love if there's noone there to catch you. either way, i got my answer.
"A heart is a fragile thing. That's why we protect them so vigorously, give them away so rarely, and why it means so much when we do. Some hearts are more fragile than others, purer somehow. Like crystal in a world of glass, even the way they shatter is beautiful."
-Everwood
-Anonymous
ha. talk about telling the truth. whoever the brokenhearted cynical girl who wrote this is one of the few people on this earth telling the truth about love. i hate it that love is always told in this emotional state, like everytime you fall in love it's some kind of fairy tale love story. bullshit. if anyone out there can give me an actual personal story of a fairy tale love story, please feel free to enlighten me. and i don't mean i know a friend who has a friend who had a friend bullshit either. i don't wanna hear any tall tales. i'm talking about actually true factual stories.i'm willing to bet this task isn't gonna be as easy as it sounds. love is suppose to be this emotional thing that a person feels. thru the years, i've learned to rationalize love. to me, it is not an emotion. it is based on pratical rational reasons. not some emotional tug at the heart, butterflies in your stomach kind of feeling. wanna know why? because i've learned the harsh reality of love. that tug at the heart butterflies in your stomach feeling bullshit? well, it fades. sometimes ever so slowly, sometimes it is just ripped from right under you leaving you thinking what the fuck just happened. it's crazy how a person can work so hard to build this wall to make sure that those kinds of feelings never happen again, only for that wall to collapse in a split second. it's funny how right when you think to yourself maybe, just maybe that this person is the kind of person you could picture yourself falling in love with, and have that notion taken away from you even before it actually happens. crazy shit that thing they call love.
so, maybe i'm a little bit cynical. bitter even. but for legitimate rasons. reasons that maybe only i can understand. but all i know is, lesson learned. this heart of mine is not ready to take that kind of fall yet. i thought i had the pieces back together pretty well, maybe i don't. or, i just don't know if anyone will be there to catch my fall. you know what they say, you can't fall in love if there's noone there to catch you. either way, i got my answer.
"A heart is a fragile thing. That's why we protect them so vigorously, give them away so rarely, and why it means so much when we do. Some hearts are more fragile than others, purer somehow. Like crystal in a world of glass, even the way they shatter is beautiful."
-Everwood