blah blah blah
i'm very close to becoming a zoloft blob again. if it wasn't for a certain someone always being there for me even on the days when i seem extra crabby, i probably would have been a blob again.
so to you, THANK YOU.
i don't know what's with me lately. actually i do know exactly what it is. but it's not something i can talk about. it's one thing to have drama with friends. at least that i can bitch about all i want. but when it's family problems? well it's not something i like to talk about. maybe that's what's making it worse. everyone who knows me knows a talk a lot. i usually don't have a problem sharing with my friends how i feel. but when it comes to my family? well that's a different story. rarely will i ever talk about it. and i think it's making it worse because i have all these stress and emotions i've been bottling up inside but i just can't seem to let it out. yea i'm sitting here saying exactly what i have to do to make myself feel a little better but it's easier said than done. i really don't wanna talk about it.and besides not being able to, i just can't. so i guess the next best thing for me is to bitch about not being able to bitch about it.damn i'm so difficult. i need to find some way to release all these emotions without being all crabby because i feel really bad. i know i haven't been in the best of moods lately and i don't wanna be taking it out on the wrong person. but i don't know what else to do with myself.
i'm ready for school to start. at least that way my mind will be occupied with other things so hopefully i'll stop thinking about my family problems. because i sure as hell know it's not going to go away anytime soon. all i can do is try to keep myself occupied and not think about it. that's how i've survived the past 8 years, it's just that it seems a lot harder now to try to forget about everything.
but don't feel too bad for me because not everything in ly life is as shitty as my family right now. thank god. my friends, true friends that is, are still there and i know they always will be. no matter what "drama" comes up, there are just certain people in your life that you know will be there anyway, regradless of what happens. i found mine. and i love them to death. i wouldn't be the person that i am now without them. so as always, all i can say is thank you.
and of course, my nice boy. these past couple of months all i've been bitching about was how hard it was to find a nice boy. well girls let me tell you, nice boys live very far far away. lol. but see, i am a lucky one because i found myself a nice boy.so all you homewrecking bitches, back off.
thank you for being there for me these past couple of days even though things have been kinda rough and awkward in my house. thank you for putting up with the drive and still not being sick of me. thank you for liking me just as much as you liked me before.thank you for taking care of me since i'm such a baby. thank you for always feeding me when i'm hungry.thank you for being willing to hang out with me and my weird friends.thank you for always making me feel special.thank you for being you. most of all, thank you for being in my life.
school starts on monday. i'm taking 16 credit hours. that should take up enough of my time.lol. my last week of summer hasn't been very productive but it's ok. i don't feel like i'm wasting my summer away because i definitley milked all the fun i could have out of this summer. definitely a summer for the record books for me. but it's not over yet. i'm happily looking forward to spending my weekend at the zoo, and going on a trip to far away bufu land! i can't wait
