I not only use all the brains that I have, but all that I can borrow.
I am. So. Completely. Overwhelmed.
I'm not sure how this happened. Actually, no. That's a lie. I know exactly how this happened. I wanted to be awesome and amazing and made promises to too many people and ended up swamping myself before I even had a chance to step back and say, "Oh, hey. Doing all of this at once? Probably not a good idea."
And then, once I was swamped, I said, "Oh, hell. Already overwhelmed, so why not." And then proceeded to add even more to my List of Things to Do.
I'm such an idiot.
And now. Now that I have all this stuff to do, I'm freaking myself out so damn much that oh, lookie here, I can't do a damn thing.
I've been staying up all night, not eating or eating too much, snapping at everyone who comes within arms-reach of me, and just being. Generally. Cranky.
And it's my own damn fault.
So. As of right now. I have six tags at FG, one at HME, and four at HB. And then I have three logs to start at HB and at least three to start at HME.
And damn it, I want to do these things. I love all my logs. And I really want to get the ones started that I'm supposed to. It's not that I don't like the logs or don't like the characters or anything like that, so please don't take it that way.
I just... am so frazzled.
Plus I have an application to write. One that I've been promising I'd complete forever. And I've been letting people down and it just... And then there's that other application, and... fuck.
GAH.
And then, real life stuff? Fuck. I have a wedding to plan, a house that hasn't been cleaned in two weeks, a father who needs me to visit before he goes out of his mind with boredom, a mom who can't seem to write her own college papers, and a nemesis who is trying to tear my world to shreds.
I know I'm freaking out over nothing. I know I'm being overly dramatic. I do. Feel free to yell at me for blowing things out of proportion but damn it, I already know. And that just makes it even worse.
The thing I hate most is that I've told people I would do things.
And I haven't.
And that makes me a shitty person.
I'd apologize, but I'd really rather to just. Get the damn things done.
Which would... you know. Probably require doing them, instead of bitching about it.
I don't freak out very often. Okay. Lies. I freak out all the damn time.
So whatever. I'll be over here, tearing my hair out and finding stupid things to stare at because, hey. That's all I'm good for these days.
But first I'm going to eat this damn pasta, because I made it and it is tasty and damnitdamnitdamnit I could use a reminder that I don't totally suck at life.
TL;DR - Day fails. The end.
I'm not sure how this happened. Actually, no. That's a lie. I know exactly how this happened. I wanted to be awesome and amazing and made promises to too many people and ended up swamping myself before I even had a chance to step back and say, "Oh, hey. Doing all of this at once? Probably not a good idea."
And then, once I was swamped, I said, "Oh, hell. Already overwhelmed, so why not." And then proceeded to add even more to my List of Things to Do.
I'm such an idiot.
And now. Now that I have all this stuff to do, I'm freaking myself out so damn much that oh, lookie here, I can't do a damn thing.
I've been staying up all night, not eating or eating too much, snapping at everyone who comes within arms-reach of me, and just being. Generally. Cranky.
And it's my own damn fault.
So. As of right now. I have six tags at FG, one at HME, and four at HB. And then I have three logs to start at HB and at least three to start at HME.
And damn it, I want to do these things. I love all my logs. And I really want to get the ones started that I'm supposed to. It's not that I don't like the logs or don't like the characters or anything like that, so please don't take it that way.
I just... am so frazzled.
Plus I have an application to write. One that I've been promising I'd complete forever. And I've been letting people down and it just... And then there's that other application, and... fuck.
GAH.
And then, real life stuff? Fuck. I have a wedding to plan, a house that hasn't been cleaned in two weeks, a father who needs me to visit before he goes out of his mind with boredom, a mom who can't seem to write her own college papers, and a nemesis who is trying to tear my world to shreds.
I know I'm freaking out over nothing. I know I'm being overly dramatic. I do. Feel free to yell at me for blowing things out of proportion but damn it, I already know. And that just makes it even worse.
The thing I hate most is that I've told people I would do things.
And I haven't.
And that makes me a shitty person.
I'd apologize, but I'd really rather to just. Get the damn things done.
Which would... you know. Probably require doing them, instead of bitching about it.
I don't freak out very often. Okay. Lies. I freak out all the damn time.
So whatever. I'll be over here, tearing my hair out and finding stupid things to stare at because, hey. That's all I'm good for these days.
But first I'm going to eat this damn pasta, because I made it and it is tasty and damnitdamnitdamnit I could use a reminder that I don't totally suck at life.
TL;DR - Day fails. The end.