finding your way and moving on
i haven't updated in a really long time...it seems that i live my life in silence, or a meaningless almost inaudible whisper at the most. The thoughts and emotions these days that find themselves flitting through my mind seem appropriate only inside my own head, and the more of them i leak out into the world for everyone's debate the further away i slip from my own ideals. It's interesting actually watching something so simple and yet so potent as a phrase intertwining it's way into each individuals life.
watching everyone else's reactions, coaxing their problems and working my way through my own i feel i have lost myself. In attempting to find a path to follow, or a mindset to rest upon i have strayed into a world of confusion where there is no right answer, no happy flowers without their thorns, but more devistatingly no ignorant bliss to lose myself in as i once did during my childhood. I welcome myself to this world, and find that i stand in the corner grasping at whatever floats by. It's a scary thought to step out into the unknown, one i always assumed myself capable of. Imagine my surprise when i find that it is easier to live with what you don't know than to fight through the painful and unpleasant.
When you are surrounded by darkness and find misfortune in every direction how do you chose which way to battle through? Do you pick the path that seems to be the easiest and hope that it does not become more difficult? or do you chose whatever seems to be the impossible, so that you know from the beginning you can take whatever else falls in your way? With so little clarity and knowledge do you wait for something to open up? Something to float through the darkness to lead you hopefully to a better place? Would you take more comfort in being led through the darkness or fighting to find your own way?
It seems that no matter what i do, or where i go it won't be the right decision, but can i find more happiness in one direction than the other?
watching everyone else's reactions, coaxing their problems and working my way through my own i feel i have lost myself. In attempting to find a path to follow, or a mindset to rest upon i have strayed into a world of confusion where there is no right answer, no happy flowers without their thorns, but more devistatingly no ignorant bliss to lose myself in as i once did during my childhood. I welcome myself to this world, and find that i stand in the corner grasping at whatever floats by. It's a scary thought to step out into the unknown, one i always assumed myself capable of. Imagine my surprise when i find that it is easier to live with what you don't know than to fight through the painful and unpleasant.
When you are surrounded by darkness and find misfortune in every direction how do you chose which way to battle through? Do you pick the path that seems to be the easiest and hope that it does not become more difficult? or do you chose whatever seems to be the impossible, so that you know from the beginning you can take whatever else falls in your way? With so little clarity and knowledge do you wait for something to open up? Something to float through the darkness to lead you hopefully to a better place? Would you take more comfort in being led through the darkness or fighting to find your own way?
It seems that no matter what i do, or where i go it won't be the right decision, but can i find more happiness in one direction than the other?