(no subject)
Aaaaaaaaaand the girls are back home. Can you find something wrong with this picture?
O SUP MAYA. This update just would not be complete without Sadpanda off crying in some distant corner all alooooone.
Megan still has no appropriate husband, seeing as how everyone freaking hates her because she's a self-absorbed cunt, so it's off to the gypsy.
OMG LOL HORN-E
DO U GET IT
IMSOCLEVER
Liam: LOL MY FEET ARE COLD :D
Took Maya approximately an hour to go back to her old ways.
Meanwhile, Megan tries her luck again with the gypsy. He seems to be more excited than her.
Be nice :(
What did you think Megan did in her spare time?
Alternately.
(dothesmustle MADE DIS)
Poor Maya. She may never be the same...
Back outside, Megan has apparently ditched both of her dates to scream at some tramp Liam called over to bang.
Fattie: I know it looks like a potbelly but baby this here is like a TWELVE-PACK. I work out like EVERY DAY.
Maya: nothx
lolwat
I sent Megan ~sperm donor hunting~ at the ~downtown~ but it was all ~fugs~ and ~teenagers~ OMG!
BUT BECAUSE I AM SO NOT CLICHE, I SENT HER TO THE GROCERY STORE. HAVE I JUST BLOWN YOUR FUCKING MIND OR WHAT.
(ps Megan says she hates broccoli)
Megan: FUCK YOU RIGHT IN YOUR SPARKLY FACE
:( he just tries to do good for the peoples ok megan
Megan: FUCK ALL OF YOU GUYS TOO FUCK. AND WHY IS THERE SO MUCH BROCCOLI HERE. D<
I attempt to make her socialize with this ~hottie~ here, but we've pretty much established that Megan sucks at conversation and has no friends.
Megan: FINE BITCH YOU SMELL ANYWAY
Hottie: REALLY!? :D :D Does that mean you'll leave me alone!? :D :D
Don't worry about Crumplebottom, bb. A beatdown from her would require actually getting some action, which YOU CERTAINLY ARE NOT.
Case in point.
hai creepy stalkery old woman can you go away yet
Look what you've done to her, Hottie. LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE.
Yeah, be ashamed.
wat is this witchcraft
Sorry no need to make her crazy she does that enough on her own.
Megan: IT'S A REAL PARTY UNDER HERE GUYS
Bad Witch: :|
Self-Sim Who Should Go to the Burn Unit: What an ugly bitch.
Megan: FUCK YOU, CABINETS. FUCK THE WORLD. I FUCKING HATE MY LIFE.
She better not fuck this up. )<
Eric: Fuck yeah, I am hot. The bitches want me.
Oh look, he and Megan are perfect already.
Eric: BUT SORRY I THINK YOU'RE A MUFF DIVER
):<
Well, okay. That went quickly. Oh well, as long as Megan keeps her mouth closed this relationship may work out.
Megan: I'll take you home and you can dive in my muff. ;)
~SEXYTIEMZ~
sdkfjaslkjdf Oh Liam.
aslkdhALKSFh Oh Maya.
Megan: So OKAY ALRIGHT you move in now and we make lots of crying screaming shitting little babies who we'll probably neglect and then they'll probably grow up to be all dysfunctional and crazy and hate us and everything but it will all be good because IT BRINGS THE LULZ so what do you say?
Eric: WHOA BITCH WAIT WHAT
He needed a bit more convincing.
But we got there. 8D
Sadflirt :(
Eric: Take that slap, bitch. TAKE IT HARD. Awww yeah, I like that.
Well if you're into that sort of thing...
lol shitty marriage in the living room
EAT, MAYA. FOR GOD'S SAKE
I have to force her to do this shit. Seriously, she will NEVER. EAT. EVER. I don't get it. Everyone else eats.
...And still she manages to get out of eating. K SUICIDAL MAYA.
Maya: SOOOOOOO HUNGRY
Btw, that's her little college boyfriend, Kieran. They're getting hitched~
Though it is kind of odd that he's hangin' out all naked in the hot tub with the dude Maya was sadflirtin' with.
Hay Maxis this would be a lot cuter if the one sim didn't look all annoyed. Just sayin'.
Like Megan, Eric enjoys bragging about himself. Like with Megan, no one likes it.
Eric: WELL GUESS WHAT. YOU LOOK LIKE A GOLDFISH.
Maya asks Kieran to move in, then lost interest and ran for the booze. That's my alcoholic!
All Eric does is bitch at everyone. He and Megan are gonna make wonderful little rays of sunshine, huh?
GO FUCKING EAT THEN
I sent Liam to bed and like an hour later he's somehow screwing a vampire in the hot tub in the middle of the night WAT
Maya and Kieran are both family sims and wanted something fancier than a living room wedding. Where are the guests?
Ignoring everything happening. Hai Megan, stay classy gurl.
OSHIT~
He really wants to marry this guy y/n
Eric really hates Maya. Just another reason he and Megan are clearly soulmates. Or the same person.
Look who else is pragnent.
HOLY SHIT MEGAN PUT THAT AWAY I THOUGHT MAYA WOULD BE THE ONE GIVING HER KIDS FETAL ALCOHOL SYNDROME
Megan: POP
Eric: groce.
Why does she never care about the bar when she's not pregnant? U WANT TO KILL YOUR BABBY?
Maya: I'M SO HUNGRY I COULD EAT THIS FETUS
...
NEWAY BIRTHTIME!
It's a boy named Max. Except I typo'd it as mAX. Oops.
YOU ARE TOO STUPID TO LIVE MAYA
Maya: WAAAAAAAAAAAA I'M SUCH A LOSER
I love how the entire household is RIGHT THERE and they still all ignore the baby.
WHY DO SIMS HAVE TO TRY TO PLAY MUSICAL CRIBS WHENEVER THE BABY IS TIRED OH MY FUCKING GOD LEAVE IT ALONE.
Eric: D<
Maya pees herself for the SECOND TIME today, much to Eric's amusement.
blahblahblah
Another boy, named Zack.
Megan: Hay, I'm way cooler than you.
Megan: AND MY HUSBAND IS WAY HOTTER ALSO
D< D< D< D<
GO
GO
GO
GO
GO SHAWTY
OMG CUTE TODDLER DANCE
Scuse me WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU WHY DID YOU JUST WALK INTO THE HOUSE
god if you wanted cake you could have just asked D<
WAT
This is not your baby. Where is your baby?
....
Eric: TAKE OUT HER EYEEEEEEE WHOOO FUCK YEAH BEAT HER ASS
Megan: YOUR TURN! YOUR TURN!
Rofl they seriously like surround Maya all the time waiting to beat her up.
And their son just can't wait until he's old enough to join in, too!
yeah another birthday
:D
Oh, you bitches.
Kieran: EW WHAT THE HELL
Exterminator: I am exterminating here. SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND TAKE IT LIKE A MAN.
ALL ZACK DOES IS PLAY WITH BLOCKS I SWEAR
HE WILL NEVER SEPARATE FROM THE BLOCKS
EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
I'm so sick of you Maya just die already.
Don't worry, bb, she's not dead, just completely retarded.
She should have died like 035845-8 time already, though.
IDGI.
Is this really that complicated?
You have a REAL baby, you know.
Then she goes into aspirational failure for NO REASON. WHAT.
The less-fail heir is downstairs for another birthday.
That's one way to spice up a child's birthday party.
Sup QT~
Lecturing for no apparent reason wat that's not even your kid. AGAIN.
Babytiemz again.
A girl, Dahlia...
And a girl, April.
Drinking buddies y/n
Please, think of the babby :(
Liam gets old and DAYUM LOOK AT THAT SMASHING SWEATERVEST
Birthdays for three kids but only one cake pic because I'M SICK OF THIS CAKE.
Zack!
Dahlia! (oh man)
April!
bai