Simple Times are Hard Times
Today was one of those strange days in the desert where there is something besides a whitewashed blue sky and a sun meaning to bleach your bones right inside the skin. Slate gray patches of cloud, sometimes taking a quarter of the sky, and like some withered grandma protecting her sentenced son, shielding the ground from that fire up high.
No rain, yet. Maybe it will sneak in after the cover of dark, when our bright overseer rests his head.
Prepped up the soil for the brown beans today. A simple thing, as it does'nt need a big patch of land, just something to creep up. Neighbor said he'd have no trouble if we used the one on his side yard. Hell he would'nt care if I grew oaks, has'nt watered his yard in a year. Got the watermelon sprouts transferred over from their seed sprouting pots to some bigger rooting pots. I want them to have a very solid base before I put them in the ground, too many dead soldiers in the garden from taking seedlings and hoping water and love are enough.
A bit of stress, for those who like drama; the case advisor thats supposed to cut a check for my school books and supplies is still yet to get back to me. Considering I'm supposed to start school on the 1st, I'm a bit stressed. Typical Government- Eat 40% of my pay for years, and then when I try and get something back., dragging their feet. I guess they'd prefer I suck on the teat of welfare than try and put something of worth in to the world. I have'nt had to take anything from the goverment yet, but the way it's looking, pride may not be enough to feed us much longer.
Did make contact with my english comp teacher. she says not to worry, as my test scores where apparently some big shit. Having not even been able to see the damned assignment book yet, I can't say whether she was blowing sunshine up my ass( she's one of those real upbeat chipper people you want to hate but can't because they are actually pleasant, not some fake bullshitter). I figure if it's too much after so long out of school, I'll bring her an apple or a condom, whichever will get the extra help I need.
The math guy is dragging his feet, hasnt made any contact. From the rumor thats going round, I need to be 17 and fresh and sweet, female, and maybe a little shy. Then he would be all over me. Should be great dealing with this fine example of what a teacher should be. At least if you're scripting porn, or a new afterschool special.
I've been thinking that I need to get out more. OK, maybe I should have said just "get out". I havent gone to a show in 6 years. My friends all stopped coming round when I got cleaned up, or maybe my friends all left when I was spun. Probably a bit of both. I tore myself up pretty well those couple of years. Meeting new folks is hard when you dont want to smile. Old friends dont pick up the phone, and I can't blame most of em. We already lost 3 of the old crew, 2 to O.D., 1 to suicide. Hell I'd kill myself too if i was looking at 40 years without possibilty.
Counterfeiting is worse than murder these days you know.
The last 3 fella's, they got straight jobs, and avoided the pitfalls pretty well.Makes me fight tooth and nail to try and find a way to stay with my old lady. We have 2 kids. All of us that didnt get our shit together didnt have their folks to fall back on. The ones who did, well, they had good strong family behind them. So, even when she's a disdainful condescending snotty bitch,I bite my tongue. But we all know that every tongue thats gets bitten always has another word to say. Loves a battle, and I feel like Poland Vs, Germany in WWII. My calvary just does'nt do shit against panzers and machine guns. Woman is lucky she knows how to cook, or I would have been long gone.
I have'nt heard a decent bit of new music in so long it makes me sick. I've taken to grabbing random crap off the shelves at my local used music store. Surprising enough, I've had about a 75% hit ratio with that. Maybe I just have a broad range of stuff I can listen to. There's also a damned cool staff of people over there, with a wide range of tastes and such. Guy turned me on to Miles Davis, and this guy Charles Mingus. He also suggested some fella Moonchild all real neat jazz stuff. I've liked the Mingus a lot better than the Davis, as it seems almost like I can taste/feel/see what the music is about. Not often that just the sound of the music itself can convey emotional and personal concepts so well. Even some of my favorite musicians only achieve that effect with judicious use of lyrics, though this J.G. Thirdwell fellow I listen to sometimes (o.k. almost every day) has quite a few songs that do just that.
Not to say that lyrical expression is second rate, by far it's sometimes the only reason I'll listen to a band or artist. But to be able to express entire stories with JUST the musical component, and a title to evoke a few base precepts before you begin to listen, hats off and fuck modesty. I wish I could take the time to learn to work on music, but there are mouths to feed aside from mine. Plus I've never been all that talented, cept with silly ass programs like fruity loops and so on. Maybe as I go through school I'll be able to find time and such to get a little more in to it. Hell at this point I can barely work this silly ass computer. By the way, FUCK VISTA.
See yall round,if anybody has any new music sounding like Big Black, or maybe this band called Error I ran across a while ago, make some suggestions.