(no subject)
Wow I am so hyper no one has no idea. I mean I dont know hat I ate but I think I drank to much. WOOP. Ok heres the low down. See ppl are sayin that Josh is cheating on me with some gurl who is like 13 years old. I mean I kno he aint that dumb but ya kno what he is makin me feel like he is avoiding me and its not makin his case any better. But I trust him but I want to kno why Tianna A is sayin crap that aint tru. I mean I want her to show me the proof and if she can then we will talk. But untill then she is a lier and I am so gonna kick her A** for it too. I will get her. Its snowing and I hate snow. I mean its pretty but it is really cold. I hate the cold cuzz I get sick easier. I dont like being sick. I had a weird day. I keep thinking about Josh and the cheating thing but then he texts me and says he loves me but when I call him his mom answeres and says he will call me back and he never does. I mean come on. And last night we talked a total of 10 minutes. His mom used the phone for god knows how long and then when he calls he says hey just called to say hey and I love and Im going to bed. I was so mad. I mean I had a problem and I wanted to talk to someone about it. I mean I wanted to kno wbout him cheating on me before. Its good to kno he did cuzz if he really did then he lied to me again. I am so sick of him lieing and if I find out he lied agina I will flip a lid and maybe just maybe leave. NOOO I cant leave him. It will be the biggest mistake of my life. I mean he is the best thing. One reason I didnt leave him before was because of Keith. Before Keith died he said that if I was to ever leave him it would come back and bite me in the A**. And that it would hurt me forever. He also said that one day Josh would come to me and stay for a long time and he would try to leave but relize his mistake and not leave. Well so far 2 of Keiths predictions have come tru. HMMMMMM Maybe Keith is my gardian angel. I miss him so much. I wish he was here to see me and Josh working. But then again if Keith was here I bet Josh would spend time with him and so would I and then we would have no time for ourselves. Relizin that one of my closest friends was right about me and Josh makes me wonder what else he was right about. I mean he also said that he has never seen Josh so in love before. He has never seen Josh so serious about one person. He told me that he knew I was in love to. Keith knew how much Josh ment to me. this is why Icnt stay mad at Josh for so long. I mean Keith is the reason I went to Josh and stoped being mad at him in the 8th grade. Keith was the reason I went to Josh. He was the reason I told ppl I loved Josh. Keith was the reason for so many things and yet he isnt even here anymore. Keith was the one who taught me to love myself. He was the first person I said I love myself in front of. But when he left it was like my brother had died and my teacher and my confadont. I told him everything and he listened and gave me advise on everything. Sometimes when I close my eyes I hope that when I open them I will see Keith standing in front of me. But that never happens. I dont really talk about Keith only because the memmories are so painful to relive. I mean they are so sweet but yet lookin at them I also have to relize I will never again do that with him. I dont sleep much because of the memmories and the dreams and the night terrors. Sometimes I wish they would all go away but I dont wanna forget Keith. I kno I will never forget him but sometimes I forget what his voice sounded like. the only thing that really puts a smile on my face now is Josh. He makes me so happy. He always has. He has always made me feel good and happy and lively. I love Josh so much and I want to be with him more then ever. He is my world and I love him so much.