oMg...
ok bitching time... im fucking pissed my gf was supposed to be back in toen like 6740615481754=8015 fucking days ago and once a-fucking-gain it has been pushed back.. cet i arranged to be off work to spend the day with her.. so now idk when ill see her caus i have to work every fucking day.. ive been working non stop for the past two weeks with no sleep and all my fucking money is going to paying my da off and into my piece iof shit cr to get e to work so the fucking cycle can start over.. ill keep putting in my fucking dues but i dont know how long ill be able to take t before i completely snap and fuck someones dy up... idk if anyone get sthis but the feeling of ur hands and knuckels itching to beat the fuck outta something is hapening.. i use to get it all the time but then i let shit go.. i never get stressed or mad.. most of the time shit can happen and i want say a fucking word..idk why isaid that other to ay i dont get mad a lot and it takes a lot to get reactions out of me... but im seriously to the point of going up to peopl and saying back the fuckl off and let us fucking be.. its the only fucking thing keeping me going... the thought of saving up to try and fix this shit and get out on my own.. good new amongst this shit im woorking at ankars deli/cafe and he wants to trin me to take it over and thats badd ass cause i want to open my own cafe place.. like fathom minus the gay shit... and i def want to do it right... so im getting trained but at the same time working my ass off around 50 hours a wek there.. from about 5 or 6 am till 4 or 5 pm and leaving there for blockbuster to work till midight and then come home try and have relionships wh peopel evenb though all i want to do is fucking sleep... sleep for 2-3 hours get up and repeat.. its wearing at me and i need to slow down,, but dot know if i can.. owe my dad 1400$ from backpayment on ionsurance and new tires for my truck thats fucking totaled and my piece of shit volvo which gets me lpaces think god is annoying as fuck.. it needs work done to it so money gor s towards that.. i dont think ill get to even buy anything with all the work ive done just pay for shit. i just feel so fucking behind and there si no way out.. i have to stop thinking that way. i can make it.. just getting there is ing to suck.. asher is movign now and responding but i cant fuckinf be ther e caus eim working.. i miss eeing him... and feel bad for not being there... i havent sen my gf for over a month.. i just dont fucking know... only thing keeping me going is looking toward owning my own cafe were bands can play people can chill and artist can display their shit... be bale to live on my own with hopefully my gf.. yeah i know some of you think u havent been dating long.. yeah well this wont happen soon.. more like 3 years and if we are still together i want to get her the fuck away fromthe peopel that say shes fucking shit and is their "little mess" and constantly call her a fucking whore... im so tired of peopel and wish i could go live in the fucking woods.. so yeah i dont know what the hell i just wrote its all a blur in a rage... so later im going to go ass out before i get more worked up...
sEaN
sEaN